a/n:
in case I don't get to update before Christmas, I hope you all have happy holidays! stay warm! :o
xxx. a relentment
Loki turns nine, and after much convincing, his parents decide he is ready for public school. When he learns this, he smiles so wide his cheeks hurt and makes a habit of frequently asking his mother when they will be shopping for school supplies.
One night, he tells his older brother, "We can walk to the bus together!"
Thor's eyes don't leave the screen of his phone, a device he received on his thirteenth birthday. "We won't be," he says, sounding distracted. "I think my bus comes earlier than yours, Loki."
"What?" Devastated, Loki scrambles out of his bed and crawls over to Thor's. "What do you mean, brother?" He stops at the edge and reaches to tug once, twice, on Thor's night shirt. "Thor," he whines when he fails to get a reply.
"I'll be in seventh grade, and you'd only be in fourth." Thor makes it sound like a bad thing, and Loki fears that it is. "It's late, go to bed."
"But you're awake too," Loki protests; Thor stops answering. Sulking, Loki crawls back to his own bed, burrowing himself under the covers.
. . .
xxxi. the wagon, arc four
Loki stares mournfully at his red wagon, perched next to the trash can on the side walk and together waiting for the garbage truck to arrive. From this distance, he can see the different scratches, cracks, and stains, can remember the memories that went with each of them.
"What's wrong?" Balder asks from next to him.
Realizing he was distracted, Loki turns back to his friend. "Am I fat, Balder?" he asks off-handedly. They sit under the cool shade of Balder's front porch with paper and crayons and glasses of lemonade.
"You're not fat." Balder frowns, reaching across the table for a green crayon. "You're like a twig."
"Then how come I don't fit in my wagon any more?" Loki laments. "And my big brother won't carry me around any more, says I'm too heavy." He huffs, coloring in a zebra a little more forcefully than necessary. "But he's wider than me, so at least if I'm fat, then he must be even fatter, yes?"
"I think you're just growing up, Loki," offers Balder as comfortingly as he can. "I don't fit all my baby clothes any more, but that doesn't mean I'm fat." He glances up, hoping to have appeased the older boy. "You don't need that wagon anyway, you can walk just fine, can't you?"
Before Loki can answer, they hear the sound of a door opening, then a chorus of laughter. Loki immediately twists in his seat, and even though he is not facing him, Balder can see his eyes lighting up. "Thor," Loki calls, confirming Balder's assumption. "Look what Balder and I made!" He holds up his paper, which depicts a tall stick figure holding the hand of a smaller one. "D'you want to color with us?"
Balder doesn't hear Thor's response (nor is he interested), but he can guess what it is with the way Loki's shoulders slump, and he turns back around. "He doesn't want to color with us?" Balder questions, knowing that Loki will just sit there, staring into space until someone asked what was the matter. This he has learned in the course of a year.
"No," Loki says; he sounds dejected. "He's with Sif and Hogun and Fandral and Volstagg, but we don't need them."
Balder nudges his foot in an attempt to get him to smile, for he thought Loki was not meant to look sad.
. . .
xxxii. something overheard
"You know, I thought you had a sister at first," Volstagg is saying.
"I don't blame you," someone quips, and it sounds like either Thor or Fandral.
For some reason, this makes Loki's chest hurt a little, and he slinks back to the kitchen, clutching his drawing to his chest. It can't have been Thor, because his big brother loves him and wouldn't-
. . .
xxxiii. autumn
Thor's bus is scheduled to arrive ten minutes before Loki's, and therefore he should have been up earlier; on the first day of the new school year, that is not the case. When the elder brother wakes up, he spies Loki running about their room frantically.
"I can't find my pencils," the boy moans in despair. "Where did I put them?"
Thor yawns, not quite awake yet and still trying to rub the sleep from his eyes. "I saw you put them into your backpack last night." He watches with some amusement as Loki flitters about the room, much like a small ruffled animal. Like a bunny, he thinks on a whim, and snickers at the endearing thought.
"Thor!" Loki wails. "It's not funny!"
"I told you, they're already in your backpack." Thor deigns to get up from the warm comfort of his bed, ruffling Loki's hair on his way to the bathroom. His brother scowls after him, combing his dark hair back down.
By the time he comes back out, Loki has seemed to stop panicking, although he appears anxious. He's sitting on the edge of his bed, legs swinging rhythmically.
"Find 'em?" Thor asks, and Loki nods, head tilted to the floor. At first, Thor thinks it's because he's wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, but then he realizes that Loki is genuinely nervous.
"I thought you were excited to start school," he says over his shoulder. He pulls together a decent outfit, one that would give teachers a good impression of him.
"I thought we would be riding the bus together," Loki replies glumly. "Who'll I sit with?"
Thor studies himself in the mirror. He runs a hand through his hair and thinks absent-mindedly, Should get a haircut. "How about...uh, what's his name? Balder? He's your friend, right?" He doesn't like Balder, but if the kid made Loki feel better, then Thor could tolerate them sitting together.
Loki says nothing else, and Thor frowns. "You're going to be fine, Loki," he tries again, in a softer voice this time. "If anyone's mean to you, just tell me who they are and I'll take care of them."
"I can take care of myself," Loki says with a sniff, but he winds his arms around Thor's shoulders in a hug, the first they have shared in some time. Thor chuckles lightly and returns the embrace.
"Boys!" they hear their mother call. "Are you finished? We need to take pictures!"
Wordlessly, Thor takes Loki's hand and they walk out together.
. . .
xxxix. tuesday
"I don't have any study halls this week, so we can't do it then," Sif is saying. "And since Fandral can't stay after school, we were thinking of going over to his house on Saturday, around three? The faster we get this project done, the better."
The bus rumbles away, leaving the road cleared. She and Thor cross together. "That could work," Thor says, making a note to ask his parents later. "I'll bring the papers."
"And I'm bringing the camera." Sif has jogged up to her front door and unlocked it. "See you tomorrow!"
Thor waves, and she disappears inside. Shouldering his backpack, he continues up the path to his own house. On the way, he sees Loki sitting on the porch, a book in his lap.
When his little brother finally notices him, Loki casts the book aside and runs to him, a smile brightening his face. He jumps, and Thor catches him with a yelp, staggering under the weight of his brother and his backpack.
"Hi, Thor," Loki says cheerfully, smiling down at him. "Guess what? My teacher gave us chocolates today. Everyone ate theirs, but I saved mine just for you!"
Thor sets him back down to his feet, smiling back - albeit a little wearily - at his brother. After a moment of silence, he teases, "Well, where's my chocolate?"
"Oh!" Loki cheeks fluster as he fishes around his pockets, then pulls out a Hershey kiss, wrapped in its iconic silver wrapper. "Here you go," he says with a proud beam, pressing it into Thor's palm.
"Wow, thank you, Loki." Thor ruffles his hair, pocketing the chocolate. "Hmm, how should I thank you?"
"Up!" Loki holds out his arms, and Thor acquiesces with a chuckle, hoisting him up again.
It is a good day.
. . .
xl. wednesday
Thor enters his shared room to a post-tornado aftermath. The lamp has been knocked off the desk, there are books and papers strewn everywhere, the beds have been stripped bare - and in the center is this mass of sheets and pillows.
"Oh my god," Thor utters without thinking.
There's rustling, and then Loki's head appears from the reds and blues of the sheets. "Look, Thor, I made a fort!"
Thor picks up one of the papers, and realizes in horror that it's a page of his script - the one that he needs for the project. "Where did you put the rest of them?" he demands, snatching up all the other ones he could find.
"What do you-"
"Help me find them!"
Loki scrambles out obediently and helps gather the papers. In the end, Thor is missing two of the pages. He would reprint them, but Hogun has his flash drive, which has the script.
"Just get it from him tomorrow," his mother calms him. "When are you planning to do your project?"
"Saturday."
"There. You have plenty of time."
On the way back to his room, he shoots Loki a glare, taking some satisfaction in the way Loki shrinks away from him.
. . .
xli. thursday
"Can we go to the playground, brother?" Loki squirms on the couch, knocking off several pillows in the process. They land on Thor, who pushes them aside with some irritation. He's trying to play a game.
"Hold on," he says, distractedly.
Loki sighs, gathering the pillows back up. "You said that ten minutes ago," he mumbles. Thor ignores him, and Loki thinks it's because of what happened the day before. "I'm sorry for messing up your papers, Thor," he whispers into the pillow.
Thor either doesn't hear him or is still ignoring him; tears prickle at Loki's eyes but he blinks them away. Only babies cried.
Later, they eat dinner. When she finishes, Thor disappears into their room and doesn't look like he wants to be disturbed. Loki resigns to doing his homework in the dining room.
. . .
xlii. friday
Thor comes home, and his mother is waiting for him with her hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face. "What did you do to your brother?" she asks in a dangerously calm voice.
Kicking his shoes off by the front door, Thor gives a passive shrug. "Nothing."
"He hasn't come out of your room since he came home."
Then Thor stomps to their room because his mother tells him to, and he needs to make sure Loki doesn't hole himself up for the rest of the night; Thor needs somewhere to sleep. "Loki!" he calls, knocking on the door.
There's no reply.
He jiggles the doorknob. It's locked. "Don't lock the door. This is our room, stupid!"
His mother hits him over the head at the same time the latch clicks unlocked. "Go," his mother orders, "apologize."
Thor sighs and trudges inside. His mother shuts the door behind him, but he's certain she's waiting outside, listening to make sure he did what he was told. He drops his backpack at the foot of his bed and looks across the room. Loki is curled up into a pitiful ball under the sheets.
"Are you crying?" Thor says with another sigh, poking the lump. "Only babies cry, Loki. Are you a baby?" He's purposely trying to get a reaction; it fails.
So he rolls Loki over. His brother's eyes are squeezed shut, too tightly to look like he's sleeping. Thor says his name again, but Loki doesn't open his eyes. "I'm not mad at you any more, okay?" He cards his fingers through Loki's hair. He's forgotten how soft it feels. "I'll even go to the playground with you tomorrow, if you want."
That does the trick. Loki opens his eyes slowly, green eyes doubtful. "It'll be cold."
"You weren't thinking about that yesterday," Thor says pointedly. "Anyway, the guy on the radio said that tomorrow will be the warmest day of the week. We'll have a picnic."
"A picnic?" Loki's eyes widen. "Really?"
"Yeah, but you're packing, because I never know what you like."
"It'll be the best day ever!" Loki sounds too happy to care.
. . .
xliii. later that night
Thor wakes up at the feel of a smaller body crawling into bed with him. "Loki," he says sluggishly at the thin arms that come around his waist.
"I'm sorry I lost your papers," Loki says into his back, and it tickles, but Thor likes the added warmth too much to push him away. He shifts so he's facing Loki and they sleep like this, curled towards each other.
. . .
xliv. saturday
Thor wakes up late, because there's no school and it's a relief to be able to sleep in. He makes his way downstairs and, quickly noting his brother's absence, questions, "Where's Loki?"
"Balder invited him to eat breakfast," his father answers. "Your mother's at work, and I have to attend a meeting. I've already told Loki to stay with Balder until you get him - he said something about you two going on a picnic?"
Thor nods, taking a seat at the table and grabbing a slice of bread. "Yeah, we're going later."
"Don't stay out too late because it's going to get colder. And take care of your brother." His father is putting his coat on.
"I know," Thor says.
"And no parties!" his father adds, but it's more of a joke.
"No promises," Thor calls after him, rolling his eyes, but he's smiling. He waves goodbye to his father and goes about preparing his breakfast.
. . .
xlv. at three
The doorbell rings, and Thor shuts off his game. He grabs his backpack on the way to the door. Sif's there and asking if he's ready, because her mom's driving them to Fandral's.
"Got the script?"
"Yep." Thor pats his backpack with a grin.
They leave.
. . .
xlvi. at four
"Thanks for helping me with my homework, Loki," Balder says gratefully. "Now I won't fail that quiz on Monday."
"No problem!" Loki smiles, nudging his shoulder.
"Are you sure you don't wanna stay longer? I thought your brother was going to come get you."
"Balder, if I stay at your house any longer, then I might as well stay here," Loki says sheepishly. "Besides, Thor and I are going on a picnic, and I have to pack our stuff."
"Oh!" Balder follows him to the door. "So he's not mad at you any more?"
Loki opens the door, pausing a step outside. "Nope!"
Glad that Loki won't be sulking any more, Balder grins. "That's good. I hope you have fun."
"I will!" Loki waves and takes off for his house. "Thank you for letting me come over, Balder!"
His friend shouts a "You're welcome!" in return.
. . .
xlvii. at five
Loki steps out, zipping up his jacket with one hand and carrying the basket with his other. His parents aren't home yet and neither is Thor, but he's sure that the former are still at work and the latter is probably still doing his project. He hasn't forgotten, he tells himself firmly, and sets out for the playground.
. . .
xlviii. at six
Loki sits at the bench, kicking his legs back and forth absently. The last of the children left about fifteen minutes ago, and now he sits alone in the playground. The bench is cold, but he keeps his basket clutched tightly in his lap, not wanting the food inside to get cold. It wouldn't be any good if it were cold.
Thor hasn't arrived yet. But that's okay, because he probably just finished his project and is coming back from his friend's house.
He'll be here any moment, Loki thinks, smiling. It's a little cold, but that's okay, too. He's tough, and he can deal with it.
It's been a while since he last spent time with his brother.
. . .
xliv. at eight
A boy runs like the devil himself is nipping at his heels, feet pounding against the sidewalk and arms pumping at his sides. If anyone were close enough, they would hear the frantic whispering under his breath.
He arrives at his destination: a playground. It's nearly deserted; there's someone lying on one of the benches, a basket next to a dark head.
"Loki," the boy calls, running to him despite his labored breathing, "is that you?"
There is no reply, but he rolls the figure over, and yes, that is his little brother, whose skin is cool and limbs are pliant and eyes are shut peacefully.
"Please, please, wake up." Thor shakes him, strokes his cheek. "We have to go home, Loki."
"Brother?" Loki's sleepy voice is a heavenly sound.
Thor exhales in relief, trying to pull Loki to a sitting position. It's dark. Their parents aren't home yet, but they will be. "We have to go."
"Your sandwich got cold." Then: "I'm sorry, brother." Loki lapses into silence, and Thor realizes his eyes have slipped shut again.
Hooking an arm under his brother's knees, Thor resorts to lifting him and beginning to walk.
It's dark. Their parents aren't home yet, but they will be.
It's also cold. But Thor pushes those things out of mind; he must get his brother home.
The basket sits back at the desolate bench, a reminder of something forgotten.