It's official, this blog has given me the writing-bug & I just can't stop! So because I've fallen ill with the writing-bug I've written this chapter a little earlier than expected! Ooh.. Please let me know what you think?! More is to come and if I continue, I'm sure another chapter will be uploaded very soon!

PLEASE TAKE NOTE:

- The dude who crops up in Eleana's dream is the same dude who helped her in the accident...(maybe I should've made it more clear).

-Also, if I've been too graphic via Eleana and her man... you know... uhh.. doing 'it'.. then I'm sorry! (Please let me know what you think!)

-OOH, also.. I had such a struggle with naming this chapter (& I really like to name chapters/prologues/ epilogues etc!)

More juice to this story will come!

Hoping to have impressed,

Miss C Louise. xx

Chapter One: Endless Torture

Dark, night sky shone through my lonesome bedroom window reflecting onto the duvet which held my body tight. Although my body was trying to sleep, my mind was conscious; the harsh distant memory of the accident continuing to reoccur as if it were stuck on repeat. It had been six months since that devilish day, exactly twenty-four weeks since this on-going battle started. And although time had carried on, I couldn't help but wonder when this horrifying nightmare would end.

Both eyes of mine were shut but my mind was still living the painful recollection which scabbed over like sealed cut. Squeezing my eyes tight in hope it would end the replaying emotions and scenery from the accident, I heard the sudden creak of flooring, then the slow twist of my bedroom door handle; he couldn't be quiet if his life depended on it. Without a spoken word I felt the cold rush of air as he lifted the covers back to climb in, then the warm radiation as his arms folded round mine.

Although my eyes continued to stay closed, I couldn't help but smile at the comforting feeling of being intertwined in him.

"Hi." His warm breath whispered sweetly.

"Hi, you."

"Did I wake you?" He asked in a hushed voice.

I couldn't help but reply with a giggle; like he didn't know the answer to that! He always wakes me with his entrance.

Smiling back, "I thought so. How was your day?" He asked nibbling my earlobe.

"Boring, I spent most of the day thinking about how long I would have, until I could fall back to sleep and see you again."

I could feel his face shine with a smile, "I spent all day waiting." His lips slowly and gently made their way from my cheek to my lips, trying not to neglect any part of me. I turned to give him the full opportunity to kiss me properly. "You should get some sleep." He informed, finally edging away from the kiss we shared.

Oh. "You're probably right." How about we agree to disagree? Rolling over so I was no longer facing him, I slowly tried my best to keep my eyes shut. About five seconds had passed before I said, "You know I sleep much better once I've been given the chance, to ya 'know, Uhh make out with my man."

His deep, mischievous laugh was too damn sexy. "Do you now?"

I turned so he could look into my eyes.

Without even taking a quick glance, his lips were on mine; soothing the aching memory I was re-living only moments ago.

Within these past six months, every sleep since the accident, he's been there to sooth my unbearable nightmares; never leaving my side, even at the most toughest times. As soon as my head touches the pillow, I instantly get transformed from a nightmare to a fairy tale; he makes everything perfect. At the start of this crazy context he was only there to bide my time, ensure I slept the night away without fuss, or pain… but somehow it evolved into something more, something beautiful. He's given me happiness in the most hellish times. I feel like a complete crack head to think the only relationship I've ever had, is with a guy who I can only meet in my dreams, but I can't help it, it's as if he's my angel. I'm addicted to the love he gives me… even if it's totally make-believe and all in my head.

"If only you could be with me throughout the day." I pined like a selfish child.

"If only." He dismissed kissing my forehead, "Just focus on the time you get to share with me now, use it wisely." He flirted.

"Yes sir." I joked wrapping my arms round him.

He leaned over me, his arms wrapping underneath my body, in such a way it was as if he was holding me, "I like you calling me sir; it sounds so commanding and strong." We both laughed, "I'm kidding."

We kissed once more, his tongue seductively edging into my mouth as my hands explored his body. Even though he had smooth gentle skin, his muscles were deliciously defined; they felt like heaven to touch. I caressed his chest, my fingers slowly tracing over his pecks, leading down to his hard, sharp abs. Although we'd done this many times, it always felt like it was the first. No longer was the atmosphere friendly, innocent or immature, it had turned into a daring temptation which was irresistible. He was mine, all of mine. My hands continued to travel downwards until it reached something hard.

"Oh. Eleana." He groaned, "Don't if you don't want to."

I gave him the look which said it all; oh I do want to alright.

His lips trailed gorgeously wet kisses from my mouth, down my neck to my baggy t-shirt, "better get rid of this." He joked, lifting it over my head to leave my bare breasts on show. My hands messed up his hair as he spent his time sucking, nibbling and tasting me, all of me. Eventually, his lips edged down further to my flat, bare stomach, "ya 'know most girls would kill for your tummy."

I rolled my eyes, "Shh you."

"If you insist." He muttered continuing to kiss every part of me. Without any rush, he vowed on sexually tormenting me, ensuring I was fully ready. As if it were a reflex, my legs parted as his mouth touched the opening of my sex, "na-aa-ah." He teased.

Addicted to him I groaned.

"All in good time baby." He whispered leading back up to my lips.

Forcing all my weight onto him, we switched positions so I was on top straddling, "my turn." I said playfully, in hope of leaving him desperate for more. My lips slowly sucked from his neck downwards, leaving small cute marks. Not ignoring one spot of him I shuffled down till my breasts were placed within his thighs, leaning against his thick, long, hard-on. Slowly, I left wet, nibbling kisses down his thighs, not giving in to his pleads. My mouth widened as I approached him, ready to take him on fully. The first thing to touch him was my tongue, instantly leading onto my mouth latching on, sucking inventively. His toes curled as his moaning became louder but I wouldn't quit, only going faster and allowing more of my tongue to touch. I could sense his lip being bitten as he cursed out my name, he was full of air.

"Eleana, I'm going to—" but before he could finish his sentence, he'd already cummed, leaving my mouth full of a salty liquid which, with an instant, I swallowed.

Wiping my mouth I elbowed my way back up to him.

"Hey, I'm not done with you just yet!" He flirted, pushing me down so he was on top. His nose nudged my legs apart, his tongue slowly starting to lick, caress and massage soft spots. As the walls of my sex became sensitive, he ran his tongue in between, leaving a flutter of excitement build. He repeated and repeated, until his pace grew, leaving a sensation in my inner core which forced my whole body to ripple with pleasure. I was nearly ready to orgasm, feeling my body build this repetitive fluster of lust, I was close when surprisingly I felt something hard insert in me, the feeling multiplied automatically, leaving me double-over with desire.

"Oh gosh." I groaned, "oh my! Oh—" Before I could finish my sentence, I'd finally had an orgasm.

Oh if only he was real...

The unenthusiastic buzz of my alarm clock woke me the next morning. Before I had even the slightest possibility of turning it off, mother rushed in with toast, tea and the newspaper; ever since I'd come home from the hospital she'd come in at seven, every morning, with it… I guess it was her way of showing me she's trying to change.

She perched on the end of bed trying to remain as strong as she could; we were still trying to come to terms with the loss of Liss and Rae. "Miss Ellie?"

"Yes?" I replied chewing a piece of warm, soft toast.

"Well since it's only us two now, I've been thinking."

I took a sip of my milky tea, Ahh, she'd done it just the way I liked it. "yeah?"

"I want to go and get help from the hospital... ya' know… with my alcohol addiction." It was as if she was embarrassed when she'd said it, her long loose hair covered her face and she continued to fiddle with her hands.

"I think that's the best idea you've had in a long time." I sounded mean, and I guess I was kinda, trying to be crude, but it was a good idea… it was about time.

"I've been looking at clinics which can help."

I nodded with approval.

"And I've found a suitable one, which I think would suit me best."

Smiling, I took another bite of my toast, "Oh yeah?"

"The thing is, for me to go to this clinic, I won't be able to look after you."

"So? I've looked after myself, plus others, for long enough."

She sighed, "well it's different now, you know it is."

I rolled my eyes, "What mum? What are you trying to say?"

She looked down, tears starting to slip out of her eyes.

"Just say."

"You've got a place at the boarding school: Me&You."

My face fell; to say I was peed would be an understatement.

"And it's in America."

What? Was she kidding me? She wants me to go to a boarding school? A boarding school which is in America?! I dropped the toast I was holding and shoved the plate away from my feet, "you're kidding me?!" I said sternly.

"I know it'll be hard, but it'll be a new beginning for the both of us."

"What? So we're leaving England?!" I decided to stand; pacing back and forth was something which helped me cope with bad news, "you want to leave the place which has Liss's and Rae's life in?! Are you smoking crack or something?! No don't answer that, god it wouldn't surprise me." The last bit I muttered under my breath, knowing it would kill her if I said it to her face.

"I don't want to leave this house either, god knows I don't. Ya' know this was your fathers dream home—"

"Yeah and look how it's been destroyed." Oh shit.

Mother looked down, trying to painfully pinch her arms as her way of disciplining herself for the previous mistakes she'd made; what I said was true, and it hurt.

"I'm sorry mum, that was the anger talking." I sat beside her taking both her hands, "look, I wish we didn't have to do this, I really don't want to leave—"

Mum interrupted, "I know that Elle—"

"But," I interrupted, "if it's going to help you, then… I guess… I have no choice in the matter."

After I'd said that, she threw her arms around me. I'm not sure how long for, maybe ten minutes, maybe ten hours, but we just sat there, crying in each other's arms… and for the first time in what felt like forever I told her, "I loved you."

The scraping of knives and forks made my toes curl as we ate the homemade lasagne in silence. After the floods of tears both mum and I shed, we decided to have dinner then have an early night. It's amazing to think we spent most of the day crying. And although it was quite early, all I wanted to do was shut my eyes and be in the arms of him… he would make it all better.

"Would you like some more salad?" Mother asked, forcing me to break away from my day dream.

"Uhh, yeah, sure."

She smiled as I piled my plate high with the rabbit food.

"It's been quite a day." She said, allowing her eyebrows to rise.

I nodded, "mmm-hmm."

"Is there anything you'd like to ask me?"

I swallowed my mouthful of mincemeat, "When?"

She sighed dramatically and took a long gulp of her water, "We'll be leaving England this time next week, you'll be starting school the week after."

"Right." I nodded; I felt numb, completely and utterly emotionless. After all the crying I'd did earlier, all I could do was just sit there unable to feel anything, or react in any way, shape or form. It didn't make sense to me why I wasn't causing such a big scene over leaving so soon; instead I was just sat there quietly chewing my mouthful. Not knowing what else to do, I stood. "I'm not hungry," I placed my dish on the side of the draining board, "I think I should go to bed—"

Worried, she interrupted, "But you've barely touched your lasagne, did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not mum. It would've definitely been up to Rae's standards, I'm just not hungry." Maybe I wasn't hungry because it was Rae's favourite, or maybe it was just the abrupt news I'd received this morning… either way, I didn't feel comfortable with the situation.

Like a lifeless soul, I slipped into the shower, aggressively, washing my hair and body. I guessed I'd had hoped to have rubbed off some of the emotionless persona I was becoming; at least when I'd kick off, I was feeling something. After brushing my teeth and combing my long wavy hair, I decided to get into bed with hope I'd fall asleep quickly and efficiently.

This all felt too horrifyingly familiar: it was a dark and damp day, the flowers had raindrops on them and the sky seemed to be covered with a greyish, dull atmosphere. Mother had been on the bottle all morning, which led me to believe we'd never be at the church on time. I'd decided to put my hair into a bun, seeing as whenever I'd had it like that Rae would comment on how I'd looked like a ballerina. I used to pretend I was, turning and twisting around in the living room. Although my injury's from the crash were severe, I insisted on going, not letting any doctors stop me, no matter how hard they insisted. It took me days of persuasion for them finally to agree.

"Come on Eleana, otherwise we're going to be late!" Mother shouted up the stairs. Although she thought I couldn't hear her, she muttered underneath her breath, "fucking, useless child."

Trying so hard not to take any notice, I slowly made my way down the stairs. I looked like a mess with my head bandaged, but the doctors insisted, concerned without it, it could lead to an infection. Not only was my forehead bandaged but my stomach was wound tightly just like in the creepy cartoons with the mummies; it was done just to ensure my wounds would heel. My left arm was in a sling, whereas my right clung onto a crutch for much needed support.

"You ready?" She asked in an aggressive manner.

I nodded. I wasn't planning to criticise my mother's bad drinking habit today, she was just about to burry two of her daughters, both of both of which were her first and last babies.

I eased myself into the borrowed car someone had lent mum for the day, I was pretty sure mum shouldn't be drinking and driving, but I wasn't going to be the one to say anything. Maybe she was doing it on purpose, but she drove extra slow, it felt like forever before we'd finally arrived. Once we'd got there, mum went off to speak to the vicar as I stayed with the already arriving guests; I was amazed at how many people had turned up, friends, teachers, long lost family members, even paramedics who'd tried to save them came to show their respect. The vicar started off with a typical saying about remembrance, it was then that my thoughts fazed out, because you'd have to know someone in order to try and remember them, and he'd never met them. Everyone cried and sobbed and sniffled back depressing thoughts. The whole room was filled with sorrow and despair and a lack of faith. It was truly beautiful to think so many people had come together to say goodbye to my sisters.

Even though I hadn't fully been released from the hospital, and that I found it hard to reply to a question, let alone have a full conversation, I still wanted to say something, even if it was just a sentence, I still wanted to say it in front of everyone.

I stood, the crutch of mine balancing underneath my armpit as I held the piece of paper with the same hand, shaking. Some people gasped as they saw how awful I looked, others sobbed with sincerity. Trying to remain calm, I read out, "Although Rae wasn't my father's biological daughter; both Liss and I insisted that she was still his. Maybe it was because she copied off of one of us, or noticed how we did things, but Rae always did these things which were the spitting image of dad. At times, I'd watch her and think 'gosh she must be dads reincarnation' because of how alike they could've been… maybe it's a good thing, maybe not." Everyone chuckled as I tried to be humorous, even though I was sniffling back the tears, "And although Liss wasn't much older than me, she always acted like the stronger, bigger one who'd always protect me." I couldn't control my tears as they started to stream, "She was always there for me. Always. No matter what, she'd be there ready to wipe my tears and sort everything out…She was the problem solver of the family" I sniffed back my tears even though they fell like a water fall. I couldn't help it, my words wouldn't stop, "so where are you now Liss? I need you. I really, really need you. I need you to come and sort this out for me… Please." I started to beg, as my cries turned into saddening pleas. My bottom lip fell, as my salty crystal tears slid down the bruises and cuts on my face. I couldn't help it, they wouldn't stop, tear after tear. My cry grew louder as my mum decided to stand… nothing could've prepared me for what she was about to say…

"They were both such beautiful children… my girls… my poor sweet babies," She cried. She drew in a harsh deep breath and blurted out, "I WISH IT WAS YOU WHO DIED, NOT THEM."

Everyone gasped. Someone tried to usher her away as I continued to sob endlessly.

"She's right everybody." I agreed with her, feeling the whole in my heart gape open even more so. Tears edged down my face as I fell to the ground, "Liss please. Liss come and help me. Liss—"

"Eleana baby." He said soothingly, cutting me off from the horrible memory I was re-living, "it's OK. Don't worry sweetie, you're here with me."

My eyes fluttered open as tears started to stream, "My mum, she said—"

He cut me off, "I know."

And it was then that I started to feel something: torture.

After an on-going, endless battle with my harsh memories, he finally soothed me to sleep, knowing that I needed it… Not stopping, he gently stroked my long, wet hair, dabbing the odd tear that would fall. His other hand linked in with mine, gently drawing circles and other types of shapes, in hope I'd focus on that and not the reoccurring, non-stopping, re-living memories. He ensured to keep me close to his chest, as he tried to tell me happy, enjoyable stories. Every now and again he'd kiss my forehead as a sign of him remembering I needed him.

Even if he was only there to protect my dreams and make them sweet, to me, at least he's there. He's the only thing that keeps me stable, something of which I need. I want. Sometimes, to ensure you remain sane, you have to do the crazy…