Hello Fiction-Lovers!

Again, couldn't help myself but write some more! (I think it's because I can't wait to write some juicy stuff, which by the way is coming up soon.. hopefully! so please stay interested).

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW:

-Again I had some issues with naming this chapter, but finally came up with something I'm happy with! (Still not fully accepting of Chapter ones name... hmmm)

-Also when I refer to 'he' it's Eleana's lover... hope you know what I mean already though...

NEXT CHAPTER:

I will confirm (god I'm making it sound like it's a bloody celebrity! I wish)... No I can confirm the next chapter will be about her starting school... can you guess what'll occur there?! To me I can't wait to share! All I'll say is, KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR THE END SCENE!

Love

Miss C Louise. xx

Chapter Two: Amendments & Alterations

The next couple of days for both mum and I was hectic; having to organise a move is stressful, but having to organise a move to another country took stressful to a whole new level! And although I really didn't want to leave behind the special place full of my family's memories, I knew that moving on and moving away was the right thing to do.

Not that I had anything to hide, I insisted on packing all of my own belongings, sorting out what I wanted to take with me, and what I felt was right to leave behind. Too bad for mum there wasn't a big pile of things I was willing to 'leave behind'. Along sorting out everything, I came across numerous stashes of booze of which mother had hidden previous to the accident. To say I was surprised would be a lie, I wasn't. But I never expected the amount of bottles.

Without saying a word to mother, I passed her the stacks of bottles.

"I'll pour them down the sink." She murmured, but in such a way it was loud enough for me to hear.

I nodded, trying hard not to praise her; she's come a long way within the past six months. I continued shifting boxes around as I heard the gulp of the plug swallowing the alcohol, "you don't need it mum, honestly." I encouraged.

"I know, I've learned it only makes you wee more." She couldn't help but hide the humour in her voice.

"If it helps, soon as we're in America I won't touch a single dessert."

"Ya' what?" She stopped what she was doing; to come into the room where I was.

"Well, if it means that it'll help because we both are giving up an addiction, I'll do it." I wiped the sweat from my forehead as she leaned against the door frame.

Next to me stood a beautiful picture of Liss, dad and mum. In her arms was a very small and delicate baby; me. It had been only an hour since I'd been born and although mum looked pale and tired, the look on her face was a perfect, it was full of: love, care, happiness, contentment, joy, panic, worry, anxieties, and bewilderment. Mother looked at me in the same precise way, something I couldn't help but smile at, "Oh Miss Ellie, desserts aren't an addiction." She giggled; it was as if I was an innocent immature child again.

"Well to me they are!" I giggled shoving a pillow, which was nearby, up my top and jabbing at it with my finger.

"Oh Miss Ellie!" She smiled, "I'm not going to encourage you to do anything like that, you've been put through a lot—"

"But mum I'd like to." I interrupted. And although it sounded rather silly out loud, if it meant that it would encourage mum to continue with her on-going success, then I'd do it within a heartbeat.

"OK then Eleana, Ok."

"I've been thinking," I muttered to mother whilst taping the filled boxes which she was placing in front of me.

"Oh yeah?"

"Well, when I go to boarding school, I won't be able to do a lot of cooking."

"Yes?"

"So how about tonight I make it my last attempt to cook something half decent for the both of us?"

"If you want to Miss Ellie." She smiled.

"I mean, once we'll be in America," I decided to put on an American Accent, "we'll be eating hot dogs, double-Derek buuuugggggers—"

She interrupted, "Double what?"

"Burgers mum."

She started to laugh.

"What?"

She leaned against the door giggling, "I thought you said buggers!"

"Well them too." I winked. And in that moment I realised that this woman was no longer the same person who fell in love with alcohol, or said those mean things at the funeral, she was someone I used to know: my mummy.

Mother sat at the table trying to be as enthusiastic as she possibly could. She tried her hardest at making the right sounds, or smelling in that god-forsaken way we all do when we smell something good…

When Liss was alive, she used to be the chef of the household, not messing up one meal! Although she was just a bit older than me, and we didn't have much money to splash out with, she would still be able to cook brilliant meals which left everybody full with pleasure… I had a lot to live up to.

I poured both of us some of this non-alcoholic cocktail which I'd whizzed together, knowing that it would taste good because I'd done it previously in catering-class. Trying to make it all fancy, I coated the top ring of the glass in sugar, adding a wedge of orange on the side. The cocktail was a purpley-fuschia colour which fizzed at the slightest movement. Ever since I had the class which informed me on this delightful drink, it had become my party trick.

She took a sip, "this is good!" She sounded shocked, which made me wonder whether it was a compliment or just a relieved statement.

I smiled lifting the big pot full of Italian stew, inside was a mixture of vegetables with big chunks of beef marinated and cooked slowly in a hearty sauce. Taking the big pot over to the table I said, "Help yourself, I'll just get the potatoes."

"OK."

Allowing the inner-chef in me to unleash I'd decided to do, both roast potatoes and mash. I carried the both smaller dishes to the table and sat down. "Please do help yourself."

She took a hesitant mouthful, chewed a couple of times and made a tasteful noise, "gosh Eleana, this is divine!"

I smiled, "Is it?" I shoved several big spoonful's of the stew and mash onto my plate and took a bite, "god it is!" I was surprised myself.

"Liss would be proud!" Mother exclaimed, which meant more to me than she'll ever know; I'd done something up to the standards of her other children.

After a few more mouthfuls mother took a couple sips of her drink and smiled, "please may I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure." I said swallowing my mouthful.

"Are you angry at me for the decision I've made, for us?" Her face seemed to be full of nerves as I took another mouthful.

"Of course not. I'm not going to resent you for being my mother and making a decision for me; I'm sad we're going, but it results in a better life for you, and for me."

"For us." she smiled with relief, "are you nervous?"

"I'm not really sure." I replied.

"It's Ok to be worried by it, it's a big thing." Her pep-talk was cute, almost perfect; it was what a mother would do, "it's a lot for a teenager to take in."

I nodded, "I'm just glad you're going to get help." And that was the truth; her going to get help, gave us the opportunity of becoming a family. "Can I ask you a question?"

She gave me the same nervous face like before, "go on?"

"Are you worried?"

"Yes," she took a big breath, "but more so of what I could do, if I don't get help."

I swallowed, "can I ask you another question?"

"Yes."

"Do you ever still get the crave for alcohol?"

"Yes," She spoke louder as if she was trying to interrupt herself, "but since the funeral I haven't had one drop."

I smiled trying to reassure her, "I know that mum… I know."

"I want to go the clinic in America to stop this crave from occurring, not to stop me from drinking the stuff; I've already stopped."

"I know mum, I know." After that, we didn't speak any more of the subject; instead we continued to discuss the success of the meal I'd prepared.

That night he got into bed the same way he did every night; loudly and disruptively.

"Thank god it's all in my head; if you were this loud in real life my mother would have a fit!" I was joking of course.

He grinned his devilish divine grin which sent butterflies circulating in my tummy; they got even worse as he gave my forehead a powerful kiss. Moments turned into hours, which we spent talking, laughing and staring into one another's eyes; god I wish he was real! It's just the way he makes my stomach flip with this fuddy-duddy feeling that sends me into my own little content world. One touch, one smile, one wink was all it took!

"Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Yes Eleana, anything." He whispered into my ear, leaving small sweet kisses down my neck.

"You'll still be with me, ya' know, once we've moved won't you?"

He laughed, "Well duh'!"

"Good. I couldn't imagine a dream without you."

Instead of replying, he kissed me. It was a deep, meaningful kiss, which left me weak and uneasy… oh god it was guuuurrrrrddd! After the heavenly kiss he edged away saying, "get some sleep: big move, new school, trust me you'll need it."

I did as I was told, never one to disobey…

Black. All I could see was this familiar daring of darkness which made my stomach flip. It was oh too familiar, and oh so scary. I screamed, trying to blink as deeply and as heavily as I could in hope the darkness would disappear. The blinking was like a ridiculous reflex, something I was unfortunately too familiar with…

I screamed again.

Blinking to see the horrific memory re-played out: I was in the car with Rae and Liss, Rae was covered in blood, her clothes stained with it. Liss's head was still in that same position like before; leaning against the steering wheel.

I screamed again, only stopping because I had a thought—Maybe you can save them Eleana?

Instantly I started to unstrap Rae's seatbelt, but it was jammed. "Rae! Rae! Rae, wake up so you can help me with your seatbelt." She was just slumped there like a lifeless doll, "no, no, no, no c'mon! Rae! Rae!" Tears slid down my face as my breathing became heavy and uncontrollable; time was ticking,"Fuck. Fuck." What shall I do? Think Eleana. Think. Liss! Try Liss! I leaned forward but the familiar feeling of oozing agony forced me to cripple over and cry out loud; the seat belt was digging abusively into my tummy. My head started to bang which made my thoughts clouded, "C'mon Liss! Liss! Liss you can't leave me again! Not again!—"

"Eleana. It's OK, come here." He murmured holding onto me tightly, "It was one of those awful memories re-playing in your dreams."

I couldn't speak, I couldn't even think, all I could do was cry out the tears that were hoarding. Moments ago I was in the same context I'd face several months back, within the split of a second and opening my eyes, I had no possibility of saving them, none; they were already gone.

"I know baby. I know." He rubbed my bare back as tears wavered down forming a small waterfall.

It felt like I'd spent almost all night crying out tears which were caused by the awful recollection I just re-lived.

As I sobbed I said, "I nee-ee-d to as-ss-k you some-th-th-ing."

"What baby, ask me anything."

"You're only in my dreams; I can only see you when I dream, but you were there at the accident weren't you? You saved me. You know you did, you said you did… except I need to hear it again, I need you to tell me."

Instead of answering with a yes or no, he tugged onto me tighter, holding me close to him. He soothed me by rubbing my back and leaving the odd trail of kisses on my forehead; he wiped the endless stroll of tears and encouraged me to breathe. "Shhh, baby, shhh." But he didn't answer.

He saved me, I swear… He was there to look after me and I know it. Even though he can only exist in my dreams now, it doesn't mean he wasn't there to protect me when I was in that car accident. I'm sure of it…

"I heard you crying last night." Mother told me as I sipped my orange juice, "you were saying their names."

I didn't say anything.

"Are you Ok?" She leaned against the island which I was sat at.

"Just one of those nightmares, ya' know how they are." I tried to dismiss it, I didn't want to worry her; I'd be leaving her to go to boarding school within the next couple of weeks.

"I have some of them—"

"Oh yeah?"

"Mainly of what happened at the funeral."

Oh yeah.

She looked down ashamed.

"It's Ok mum, it was a bad day, we both know it. All that pressure, all those people."

"Not an excuse." She said shaking her head.

"Shh, you." I tried to discharge the worry from her mind; I really didn't want her feeling guilty, not with her going to rehab, "now do you want bacon or eggs? I'm thinking my new found talent should be used to our advantage!"

She didn't discuss the matter again.

The next several days were hectic, to say the least. I think I could run a business on informing others on how to move to other countries. If I see another box which needs to be filled, or taped, or moved, I think I'll go crazy. I've boxed and helped with everything except Rae's and Liss's belongings; I decided to convince myself that mum was planning to keep them in a very safe place; I didn't want to discover the truth.

I stared out of my bedroom window, amazed at how big mine and Liss's room was without furniture in it. There was a slow knock at my door.

I turned to see mother leaning in, onto the door frame, "it's crazy to think that tomorrow evening we'll be getting on that plane and jetting off to luxurious, sunny, all-you-can-eat America, isn't it?"

I smiled as she came closer, "You've no idea."

We hugged. "Hey, hey, hey, it'll be OK, I promise." She pulled away from me, sliding her hand through my hair.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"For what?"

"For being my mum."

I was at the top of the stairs; nearly about to board the plane when something pulled me to a halt.

"Eleana..." I heard the wind whisper, "Eleana…"

I didn't absorb my surroundings when turning but saw a distant flicker of his face, wait... was that? Was that really him? I jolted back to where I thought he was, but there was nothing… I must've imagined it.

"Eleana…" I didn't turn back round that time; I just stopped "they're proud of you for doing this Eleana, I'm proud of you too." That time I knew I was going crazy; to me, it sounded like his voice, it sounded like he was talking to me about Rae and Liss.

"Eleana… Eleana," His soft, seductive whisper panicked me, I jolted upwards aggressively.

"You're on the plane?" I was surprised to see him opposite me, smiling his young, boyish grin… ooft forget snakes on a plane, how about sex on a plane?!

"Yes Eleana. Share how about you share your thoughts." He winked.

Oh god, he knows! My mouth made a shape of an O.

He winked again.

"I get to see you twice in one day?" I giggled, sitting myself up and taking a sip of my sugary, lemonade.

He nodded.

"I get to see you on a plane?"

"Soon as you fall asleep I'll be there to keep you from dreaming."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Oh I'm dreaming alright!"

He didn't reply, instead he extended his legs so that one was touching me, stroking me.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to make this dream sweet."

I jumped up and throttled onto him like an excited child at Christmas, "It's like a candy-cane store, it's so sweet."

We both giggled.

"Come and make my life sweet… please?"

He didn't say anything, he just held onto me tightly.

"Ladies and gentlemen please fasten your seats, ready for landing." The pilot announced through the speaker. The unexpected announcement had woken me; I'd been sleeping for six hours! It's amazing how long you can sleep when your dreams are better than reality!

"You alright love?" Mother asked considerately, not looking up from her magazine.

I fastened my seatbelt, "Yes."

"You've slept through everything!"

"Like what?"

"Well it's been a bumpy ride that's all, been told to fasten our seatbelts most of the way, didn't want to disturb you though."

I couldn't help but giggle, "Happiness before safety."

She slapped my arm, "you know what I mean!"

"Are you Ok?"

"It's…" She was thinking, "hard."

I swallowed, "I know mum, I know."

She took my hand.

"But, ya' know what, it's exciting too."

She swallowed a sob and smiled, "that too Miss Ellie, that too."

The flight started to grow more intense as you could feel the speed increasing.

Mum reached down into her bag and pulled out two packets of hard American wine gums, "Chew, it helps your ears."

"American wine gums eh?" I joked. "Thank you, might as well make the most of it seeing as, as soon as this plane hits the ground no more puddings, sweet, chocolates for me!"

"Shh, you. When you and Liss were small I used to give you them to you both when you'd have a cold, worked a treat!"

I smiled. See Liss, we'll never forget you.

"Please may I come in Eleana?" Mother asked.

"Of course you can mum, you don't need to ask!" I exclaimed opening the door for her to enter.

Covering the floor of the room we'd rented were unpacked boxes, numerous amounts of suitcases and a lot of mess. It was tomorrow that I'd be moving all my belongings, plus myself into the boarding school, Me&You, to say I was panicking was an understatement, I was crapping myself.

"I was just wondering whether I was able to have a quick word with you?" She perched on the edge of the bed I'd already sat on.

"Yes?"

"I know you're probably busy planning everything, but I just wanted to give you this." Beneath her hands was a small box, she slowly lifted the lid for me to see the most beautiful bracelet I'd ever seen; it used to be Liss's.

"Whow mum." I sat up, gently taking it from her, "are you sure you'd like me to have this?"

"Of course. I want you to have it, its something that Liss loved; and I'd like you to have it because she really loved you."

I smiled, "I'll never take it off!"

"She never took it off!"

It was a Pandora's bracelet; I'd saved up real hard for her birthday. She loved it, it was the only piece of jewellery she'd ever owned which had value to it. Rae picked a charm, and so did I. Rae's was a small snake; when Rae started to talk she'd pronounced Liss like a snake with their S's, it was as if she'd be saying "Lisssssssssss". The charm I'd chosen was a little box which had a small gold heart, I'd picked it because she was always so strong and always kept her heart away in a box so she could think about things without allowing her emotions to get involved, I'd liked the fact that the heart was gold because she was made of pure gold; she was perfect! She'd gained a couple more charms from other people: a previous boyfriend got her a heart shaped one with the word 'love' in other languages, not that he meant anything… he was a right tosser. Mum also got her several charms, each one apologising for something. Nether the less, each charm had a story and she cherished every single part of it.

"Oh mum It's beautiful. Thank you." I clutched onto it, throwing my hands up into the air and grasping onto her tightly.

"It's OK. It's something I know Liss would have wanted you to have; it's something to remind you of your strength, success, perfection and purity; I really do not deserve such an angel like you."

No longer was I afraid of being living in another country, or have to start a new school which I was going to be living in, or being separate from the only family member I have left. I felt OK because I'd finally gained something I'd missed in a long time; self-worth, self-acceptance and the gift of being able to go back and be the young, free teenager I never could be…