Rated: MA for future chapters

See first Chapter for all legalities concerning the ownership and creation of Supernatural and all characters and stories.

Chapter 2

(Where did all this come from)

The early morning runs became a habitual thing, along with the occasional visit to the gym…and the wrestling mats there. Sam soon learned that Dean had served in the military, and that he had learned his own set of 'sparring' moves. Which he actually appreciated, it gave him a chance to use his more advanced techniques.

Sam also got to know Anna pretty well too. She would show up at off times and hang out with them on Saturdays when Dean insisted that they hit a local diner for 'it's awesome breakfast' as he put it.

Luckily, as it turned out, Dean owned a car, a classic black 1967 Chevy Impala, that he loved almost to the point that Sam thought it was unnatural.

The car was a good thing too, since Sam sure as hell couldn't afford one of his own, It also made hitting the cheaper organic grocery stores off campus a lot easier.

While Sam seemed to be constantly worried about money, Dean never was, he paid for Sam's breakfast most of the time, he wouldn't hear otherwise. Sam had tried to argue with him the first time, but he has lost that argument…and the next three, so now he just didn't even question it.

Sam had also been a little taken back when he saw how Dean ate; the guy ate like fricken horse! Dean, it seemed, was a breakfast guru, the greasier the better, or so it appeared to Sam. He also loved coffee, bacon, greasy eggs, and of course the large stack of syrup and butter soaked pancakes, anytime he could get them.

Sam began to wonder how Dean kept his obviously sculpted physique when he ate like a damn trucker…and I should know how they eat.

Dean was constantly giving him a hard time about his choice of egg whites and oatmeal, with coffee and non-fat creamer with some sweat and low to boot. Sam tried no to rise to the bait, but every now and then he would wrinkle his nose and explain the finer points of a healthy breakfast to his friend.

While Dean seemed confident in eating all things greasy and gross, his little sister Anna stuck to the same types of foods as Sam.

He would catch her staring at him through down turned eyes and throwing quick glances his way that she thought Sam wasn't catching.

Odd, a month ago she would have totally been my type…but now…I'm not so sure what my type actually is.

Sam found his eyes being drawn back to Dean more and more often as he over the last month. They spent almost all their free time in one another's company, and Sam had found that he really liked Dean…in fact he would say that Dean was probably his best friend at this point.

Oh god, that sounded totally chick flick.

Even inside his own mind, and he knew that Dean had a very strict no 'chick flick moments' rule.

Sam had learned that fun fact the first week when he had mistakenly asked about Dean's past…a forbidden subject, as it turned out.

The only thing that the older man would tell him was that he had served six years in the military and that their father had died when he was 18 so he had raised his little sister from that point on, the Army had been a way to do that and ensure that they would both get an education later.

That had been the only conversation that Dean would have about what his past entailed. Eventually Sam didn't ask, since Dean's green eyes would intensify and harden with mile high walls slamming into place and then he would just coolly change the subject.

Sam had told Dean all about Mr. Sok and the training that he had gotten over the years; he talked about his mother and their transient lifestyle when he had been younger.

Dean had listened with intense interest and had commented on the Kenpo training that Sam had learned over the years. He had even suggested that they go to the gym sometime and spar. That was how Sam learned about Dean's own level of training; he was more than a match for Sam.

Sam had initially been worried that he might hurt Dean, although Dean seemed able to fend for himself, but still he had worried, for no reason.

Dean was talking with the older woman that generally waited on them each and every Saturday morning; he had learned her name the first day and flirted his way into the elderly woman's heart.

Dean tipped well and Maggie, she in turn took excellent care of them each and every weekend; the one exception was last weekend when she had been off due to her youngest son's wedding.

Dean had sent flowers to her and a congratulations card to her son. Sam had found that odd, since Dean didn't seem to have a problem being 'chick flick' with the older woman. But the evidence that Dean had such a soft side had made his insides warm and his heart swell slightly. Sam was slowly accepting the odd connection he seemed have with Dean and how he seemed to be aware of the other man's where abouts all the time, particularly whenever they were in the same room.

Sam had even asked Anna about the flowers when Dean had gone to 'hit the head' after his third cup of coffee.

I think his heart might explode one of these days. He thought with amusement.

Anna had just smiled and then slid in next to Sam placing her hand too high on his thigh, which caused Sam to jump slightly and bangs his knee into the underside of their table.

"Well…our mother was a waitress, she died when Dean was 6, so he sees a little of her in all waitresses." Anna smiled and slid her hand a little further up Sam's leg till it was resting near his hip in the crease of his jeans next to his groin.

Sam tensed…more if it was possible and tried to move away from Anna's touch, but he was up against a wall on the inside of the booth.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Please don't move that hand any higher.

He thought as he looked frantically for Dean's return and hopefully the prompt removal of Anna's hand from his leg. He was however a little surprised that he didn't even feel a twinge from his nether regions at her close proximity.

It wasn't that he didn't like her, he did. Just not like that. Anna was Dean's little sister and that was all, but how did you tell someone that you were interested in their brother…not them. Sam had accepted the growing attraction that he had for Dean over the past several weeks, he still wasn't sure what it meant but he knew there was a connection between them, and he wanted to know what that connection was…and what it meant.

Sam felt a small quiver in his stomach as he saw Dean returning from the bathroom, he also caught flash of concern that formed between Dean's eyebrows as he noticed that Anna had switched sides while he was gone and that only one of her hands was on the table.

Dean's eyes caught Sam's as he returned from the bathroom and he immediately noticed the confusion and discomfort in Sam's blue-green orbs.

Sam, it seemed, was a bit of an open book where Dean was concerned.

"Hey Sammy…Anna, you guys ready to hit the road?" Dean tried to keep his voice even as he felt his heart stutter a little at the thought of Sam with Anna. It had never occurred to him that both he and his sister could ever be interested in the same person before. As far as he knew he was the only gay one at this table.

Dean knew he was gay, had been for years…but he was pretty sure that Sam wasn't. First off he had several pictures of himself with some very cute college co-eds from previous relationships…none of which were male.

But the thought of Sam being with Anna, although he knew that Anna wouldn't find someone better, hit him more deeply…and more profoundly than it should considering he had only known Sam for like 5 weeks. Although to be fair, it seemed like so much longer, there was just something in Sam's eyes. However, trust was something that Dean just couldn't do, he couldn't let Sam inside the walls, it would hurt too much when he eventually left…they always left him in the end.

But damn-it, he was completely interested in everything about the guy and it was starting to keep him awake at night.

Dean had even started taking cold showers after their morning runs about two weeks after they had started. He knew then that he was in deep trouble where Sam was concerned and the more he learned about the guy the more he liked him.

Sam was smart…like really fricken smart, and compassionate along with funny as hell when he got going…and with couple of beers in him.

Dean tried to quiet the inner voice that was reviewing all of Sam's good points as he unlocked the doors for Sam and Anna.

He slid into the driver's seat and started the car, as soon as they had put on their seatbelts, after all Dean was nothing if protective when it came to the things he loved…just Anna? His mind shot back not so helpfully.

Obviously he loved Anna, but he knew that there was something about Sam that could be his undoing if he wasn't very, very careful. Anna was the only one that he had let close in years, ever since Matt…Dean immediately swerved away from that line of thought...too painful. So he instead reached down and cranked up the volume on the radio, pleased to hear Metallica rolling through the Impala as he swung out onto the two-lane road.

He dropped Anna off at her dorm and chanced a look in Sam's direction…Sam it seemed was doing his best impression of a statue. He was staring out the window caught up in his own thoughts, his face reflecting a look that hinted at disgust and maybe even that he was a little bit uncomfortable.

Dean groaned inwardly, he was starting to wonder if Sam had figured out his little secret? His sexual orientation was not something that they had talked about to date. It was something that Dean worked to protect those around him from. He wasn't embarrassed or anything, he just knew that it seemed to make people incredibly uncomfortable around him…and he couldn't stand the idea of seeing the disgust and rejection on Sam's face if he found out. Anna knew of course, but she couldn't have cared less, and had in fact told him so on several occasions, she said that 'he could want to be with an orangutan and she would love him anyways'.

Dean smiled at the memory, he had immediately started making monkey noises at her and she had squealed with childish delight when he started tickling her…showing her no mercy.

Dean was so intent on driving and being lost in his own memories while tapping the steering wheel in time to…what was it…oh…Black Sabbath that he missed the fact that Sam was now staring at him…openly and with intense interest.

Sam felt a shiver run through his body as he thought of Anna's hand running up his leg toward his groin. Normally he would have jumped at the chance to ask someone like her out, she was cute and smart and the sister of the guy he was currently falling for.

Sam shook his head and a small frown formed on his face as that particular thought planted itself firmly in his brain, his hands were twitching where they were currently resting in his lap.

I am falling for a man…my roommate for crying out loud! Sam had just turned his eyes from Dean's incredible body and gone back to staring at the passing buildings of the old campus...when a thought occurred to him. I don't even think that the guy is gay?!

He thought incredulously closing his eyes and leaning his head against the window with a pained expression on his face. With his eyes closed he felt himself relaxing to the smooth rumble of the Impala's engine and the steady rhythm of the music.

Dean glanced over just then and the sight nearly stole his breath away, Sam was leaning against the window of his beloved car, totally and completely relaxed and obviously asleep. His breathing was even and his head lolled back exposing his incredibly long neck.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut and pulled them from his roommate's exposed throat, and the thoughts of the many, many things he wanted to do to said throat.

Shit, Shit, Shit…SHIT!

He thought as he pulled into the parking lot of the dormitory.

I think I'm gonna have to leave.

That thought sent ice spilling through his veins, down his spine, and caused his stomach to contract painfully.

I have to protect the ones I love, including it seems…Sammy, god…particularly from myself.

The nickname was one that Dean occasionally used, mostly because it seemed to irritate Sam, but deep inside his own mind it was a term of endearment, the only one he allowed himself where Sam was concerned.

After all, I am not a girl…and thankfully neither is he.

He reached over and gently patted Sam on the shoulder, "Hey dude…we're here." His voice was gentle since he really didn't want to startle Sam and see first-hand what sparring with a surprised Sam would be like.

"Mmmm…" Was the only answer that came from the other man.

Dean tapped him a little harder this time and got a reaction that was at least appropriate to their situation, Sam sat up and placed the heels of his hands in his eyes and rubbed the sleep from them.

"Yeah, man sorry didn't realize that I was that tired, stayed up studying too late last night." He opened the door and slid out of the Impala, stretching his arms high above his head and closing his eyes as the sun bathed his face in warmth.

Dean's breath caught in his throat at the sight of Sam basking in warm yellow light and his tanned and toned abs peeking out from beneath the plaid shirt and jacket, just above the waist band of his jeans.

Dean felt the stirring of something that he knew he could not afford to acknowledge, not if he did he would lose Sam forever…and that thought was just too painful to contemplate.

It would be better to just leave, before I have to see that look on Sam's face.

Dean closed his eyes and reluctantly pulled them from the sight of his roommates perfectly toned abdomen and lean hips.

He turned and bumped the driver's door with his hip to push it shut as he started walking toward the dorm, careful to keep his eyes straight ahead as Sam jogged to catch up with him.

"Hey, wanna hit the gym this afternoon?" Dean turned to gape at Sam. "Dude, you were just fricken passed out in my car not 35 seconds ago…and now you want to hit the gym?"

Sam scrunched his face up into what Dean affectionately called his 'bitch face' and stared at him.

"Thought you might wanna spar?" Sam asked with a hint of a smile, wriggling eyebrows at the same time, obviously issuing a challenge. Sam didn't really want to go to their room, since there was a good chance that Anna might show up and he just wasn't ready to deal with that yet.

"Okay…yeah…sure." Dean muttered softly as he walked to their room and pulled his key out.

Sam paused as he heard the hesitance in Dean's voice.

"Shit…man…don't get all excited or anything." He stated as he brushed past Dean and went to his closet to remove his sparring gear and some wind pants.

Sam felt a slight hesitation as he dropped his jeans revealing his boxers and stepped out of them and immediately into the loose athletic pants. He noticed that Dean had quickly turned away from the sight of him changing to focus on his own need to change clothes.

Sam shut his eyes and pushed a hand through his still too long brown hair as he tried to ignore the fact that Dean had dropped his own jeans and was standing there rummaging through his own drawers for his jogging pants, in just his navy blue boxer-briefs and white socks; having already pulled his shirt from his tanned and well-toned chest.

Sam spun away from the sight and focused intently on checking his own gear.

Dean didn't notice Sam turning away from the sight of him without his clothes on as he rummaged around pulling out the loose pants and stepping into them one leg at a time. He closed the drawer and went to the closet, brushing past Sam in the process.

He felt an almost electrical spark as his shoulder brushed against Sam's still bare chest, he sucked in a breath of air, since there now seemed to be too little of the substance in the room.

"Dean?" Sam said quietly.

Dean knew that tone of voice, this was it…this was the discussion that he had avoided for the past 5 weeks. He had thought that he would be ready when it came around, or if he was lucky he would be able to avoid it indefinitely.

Dean grabbed a grey cotton t-shirt and dropped his head onto his chest as he spun around expecting to see disgust, rejection, or worse outright hatred reflected in the eyes of this man that had grown to mean too much to him.

Sam had wormed his way past all of Dean's defenses and into that small hallow spot that only Anna and Matt had ever occupied previously. Although one of them had torn and clawed at the small spot in his heart and proceeded to have a torture session with it, and it hadn't been Anna…

"What is it Sam…" Dean asked in an emotionless voice letting the words hang in the air as he continued to stare at something incredibly interesting on the floor.

He was surprised when Sam stepped closer to him and placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder. The skin to skin contact caused Dean to jump away as though Sam had burned him.

"Dude…What the hell? You okay?" Sam asked as he pulled his hand back again dropping it back to his side.

Dean finally glanced up and his eyes were a brilliant shiny emerald green, full of all the emotions that he was trying desperately to hide from Sam.

So this is Dean without the walls…the thought occurred to Sam as he was caught in those glassy orbs.

Sam's own eyes took on the look of a wounded puppy and he stepped slowly toward Dean, careful not to touch the other man when he saw Dean's body language reflecting that he was on verge of bolting from the room.

"Dean, what's going on with you lately? You've been acting weird all day…"

Dean groaned and scrubbed a hand across his face, he so did not want to talk about this.

He squared his shoulders, consciously slamming his protective wall back into place, his t-shirt instantly forgotten as he decided to come clean with Sam.

"Sam…did I ever tell you that I…I am gay?" Dean knew that he hadn't, but he wondered if his oh so smart roommate had figured it out on his own.

Sam caught his breath as his suspicions were finally confirmed, "Uh…no actually you didn't."

Dean heard the slight pause in his speech and he just knew that he had signed a one way ticket out of this room and ultimately out of Sam Wesson's life.

"Yeah…I didn't think I had." He almost whispered. Dean turned toward his bed, remembering his t-shirt and thrusting it on the bed and then moving to the dresser removing his green duffle bag, throwing articles of clothing into it.

Sam's heart stuttered, What the hell is he doing?

Then it hit him, like a freight train…Oh god, he's leaving!

"Dean…what the hell man!" Sam stepped over to Dean's side of the room in two long steps and yanked the half full bag out of Dean's hands and threw it to the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked again as his voice was becoming more erratic as the ramifications of Dean's current actions resonated through their small room and halls of own his heart.

"What does it look like Sammy…I'm leaving." He stated it so matter of factly that Sam felt his heart constrict painfully, it was obvious that this was a pattern with Dean.

Apparently the people in Dean's life had either thrown him out or simply given up on him causing him to leave on his own.

Except for Anna of course…But sisters don't count!

Sam heard the undercurrent of emotion that Dean attached to the nickname and his heart fell through his stomach to somewhere in the vicinity of his rather large feet.

Dean had squeezed his eyes shut and turned away from Sam rubbing his fingers over the bridge of his nose; the hated emotions playing across his face were no longer guarded.

He pushed his hand through his short spikey blond hair and leaned against the window frame in defeat.

Sam stepped up behind the older man and gently placed his fingers at the base of Dean's neck. He didn't miss the soft sigh that escaped Dean's lips and the subtle amount of pressure that he leaned back into that simple touch with, before pulling violently away and spinning around to face Sam.

Dean's green eyes were unfocused and reflecting so much distress that Sam wondered how he could handle it. His own heart was already breaking at the thought of what this man had gone through in his rather short life to make him so sure that all people would hurt him…if he let them get close enough to.

"Dean…please…stop." Sam whispered as he brought his hand up to rest against the stubble on Dean's unshaven face. Dean's green eyes slid shut and he brought his fingers up to gently pull Sam's large hand away from his cheek.

"Sam." Dean said quietly. "No….I can't…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" The last part was spoken with a noticeable hitch in his voice.

Sam did not release Dean's fingers as their entwined hands fell from his face. He pulled Dean toward him and pressed his free hand behind Dean's neck effectively tilting his head up as Sam brought his mouth to rest against the full pouty lips of the older man.

Dean tasted of coffee and the wintergreen gum that he always chewed after they left the diner…and something that was distinctly all Dean.

Sam moved his lips against Dean's and heard a soft moan come from the base of Dean's throat as he gave in and kissed Sam back, gently at first and then with increasing insistently.

Suddenly Dean jerked himself frantically away from Sam's luscious mouth and opened his now panicked eyes with a thundering realization at what he had just done.

He scrambled back from Sam, nearly tripping over his forgotten bag in his haste to put some much needed distance between them.

"Sam…I said no." his eyes flickered between Sam and the door. "You…you don't want this, you don't want…" he let the 'me' hang in the air between them.

Sam closed his eyes and dropped his head to his chest; his face took on the hated wounded puppy look again.

"Dean…I…I know what…I…I want." Sam tried to sound sure of himself, but this whole thing was still pretty new to him.

Unfortunately for Sam, Dean heard the slight hesitation in Sam's confession and he inhaled sharply nodding slightly as he made a grab for his long since forgotten t-shirt and frantically pulled the soft grey cotton over his head and then grabbing his duffle and moving past Sam towards the door.

Dean turned and fixed Sam with a stare that reflected all the pain and sorrow that was now located in the general vicinity of his heart.

"Goodbye Sam." He stated simply and gently pulled the door open; looking at Sam one last time as he took in the visage of the man that he had unknowingly given his heart to.

He nodded again…to no one imparticular and quietly closed the door behind himself as his heart shattered into a million shards of glass.

Dean blinked several times to clear the emotion from his eyes as he walked quickly across the parking lot toward the Impala.

"DEAN!" he heard Sam yell his name as he slid behind the wheel and cranked the engine. The Impala roared to life and Dean glanced up just long enough to see Sam running toward where he was parked.

Dean moved the gear shift lever into drive and pulled out of the lot. He did however make the one mistake of glancing in the rear view mirror and what he saw broke what was left of his heart and left it with the kneeing man that now wept brokenly in that parking lot.

Sam had been running after him as he pulled onto the street, and then suddenly Sam slowed and dropped to his knees in the very spot where the Impala had previously been parked; his shoulders slumping forward with defeat and emotional exhaustion.

"I'm so sorry Sam…" Dean whispered softly and swiped angrily at the tears that had started to roll down his cheeks.

Dean pulled out his phone and quickly dialed Anna's number; it went straight to her voice mail after 1 ring. "Uh…Hey Anna, I have to go take care of some stuff; I might not be at school for a while. Don't worry it's nothing serious, just some Army stuff. I'll call you and let you know where I'll be okay? Take care of yourself, and if it's not too much to ask, please take care of Sam…he's gonna need you."

He clicked his phone shut and turned it off, in case Sam tried to call, he knew that if he heard Sam's voice that he would cave in and head back, and if he saw Sam's number on his caller id, there was a damn good chance that he would answer it.

Dean had no idea where he was going he just knew that he had to get away from here.

If he stayed…he would ruin Sam's life and that was just not an option. He's better off without me…

XXXX

Sam ran after the Impala and watched in horror as Dean threw it into gear and simply drove away, from his sister, from college, and finally from Sam. Sam felt his heart rip open as he fell to his knees where the classic black car had been parked, tears now streaming unhindered down his face.

How could he do it? How could Dean just run away from him? Sam had been too stunned by Dean's reaction to the kiss in their room to stop him as he'd pushed past Sam with his bag swung over his shoulder.

That paralysis had only lasted a few moments, but as it turned out, they had been critical moments and Sam had lost his chance to catch Dean before he made it to the car.

Oh god…I've lost him?!

The thought pounded around in his brain as he struggled to get his emotions under control once more. How could I have not noticed how much he meant to me…oh god…why did I have to stutter?

Sam had no idea how long he knelt in that space, but when he felt a hesitant hand touch his shoulder he suddenly realized that his legs were numb and his knees were obviously bruised from landing on them earlier, a rock was grinding into his left shin uncomfortably.

He looked over his left shoulder to see who exactly had touched him, his tear filled eyes landed on Anna and she took a small step back from the emotional onslaught that seemed to be pouring from Sam's soul.

"Sam, what happened?" she asked quietly as she tried to help him to his feet.

Sam just shook his head and tried to get the feeling back in his legs.

Anna watched him carefully for a reaction as she stated the next sentence.

"I know Dean left…he called me."

She sighed; everything had been fine this morning, what the hell had happened to cause this violent reaction from her usually stoic brother?

"I…I…we…we…" he stammered, but the words wouldn't come out properly. Some sick part of his brain latched onto the irony that his intelligent speech had been reduced to one word syllables.

Anna seemed to put two and two together, "Sam did something happen with my brother?"

Sam's face must have given her all the answer she needed because she sighed loudly and placed a comforting hand on his arm. "I'm sorry Sam…I didn't know….I didn't know you felt that way for him…"

He turned wet intensely bue-green eyes towards her and whispered brokenly, "Neither did I."

TBC...

This is my first posted fan fiction, please review and be kind but constructive with the criticism.