Rating: MA as the relationship deepens and the abusive nature of Dean's past is revealed throughout this chapter. If you don't like this kind of story please don't continue as it is for mature readers only.

As always I do not own Supernatural nor any of the rights, these all belong to Eric Kripke and the CW. Also any similarities to other stories or writers fanfic's is entirely coincidental and not a form of plagiarism.

If you like the story please review as this will help me stay motivated to finish the end of the story. Thank you for reading.

Chapter 3

Dealing with the Aftermath

Sam finally managed to pull himself to his feet, with Anna's help, and started stumbling toward his dorm.

Once they had reached Sam's room, he noticed that he had left his door wide open in his attempt to get to Dean.

Fricken fat lot of good that had done him, when he needed to move, he had been frozen in place!

He thought bitterly as he pushed the door open and stepped into the room.

Anna followed him and gently pushed the door closed behind her.

"Sam, I think we need to talk." She smiled slightly and blew out a breath as Sam moved a fraction of an inch away from her, "About Dean." She finished softly.

"Oh…okay." Sam stated as he relaxed again and sat down on his bed, staring at the empty bed across the room.

"What has my brother told you about our past…about his past?" She asked as she sat on the edge of the bed opposite Sam, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them.

Sam shook his head minutely and rubbed his eyes, "Not much actually, a little about raising you, and some about his time in the Army…that's about it."

Anna shook her head and a small smile played across her lips, "That's my brother, an emotional retard."

Sam thought of something else that Dean had told him that was definitely important, "He…uh…also told me that he was…gay, but…but that just happened today."

Her head snapped up at that, "He actually told you…about that?"

Anna's brown eyes bored into his looking for confirmation at his statement. She must have found what she sought because she smiled and laughed softly.

"Wow, he must really trust you. That isn't generally something that he tells people."

Sam's eyes met hers at that statement, "Really?" He questioned as he snorted at the trust part of her statement.

"Really." She stated flatly in return.

Sam just nodded at that and then lowered his eyes back to the floor again. He heard the other bed squeak and then saw Anna kneel in front of his knees.

"Sam, my brother was the one to raise me because my father was a drug addict and he was also incredibly abusive." Sam's eyes jerked up to meet hers, "He used to beat Dean when his supply of drugs ran out. Guess he was letting off steam…I don't know."

She hauled in an unsteady breath and continued, "When Dean turned 14, my father realized that he could use Dean to get what he wanted from the dealers, and he didn't hesitate to do so."

Sam felt the implication of her words settle into his bones as he wondered if he had misinterpreted her meaning.

Her eyes took on a wet sheen as she shook her head when she saw the question forming in his soft eyes, "No, you didn't misunderstand what I just said." She whispered the heart breaking confirmation.

Sam's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to wrap his mind around the prospect of a parent using their own child that way. "Oh my god." He mumbled.

"I never knew about any of it until my father died of an overdose when I was 12. I accidentally ran into one of his dealers outside a school, of all places, and the guy spilled the whole fucking story. I think he was hoping to get me to follow in my brothers footsteps."

She sniffed as the immense pain of that particular revelation flashed through her mind. It had given her…clarity where Dean was concerned that had sunk into her child-like mind with a vengeance.

"Sam, I love my brother, he has given up everything for me and I want him…no I need him to be happy."

Sam nodded at the revelation and all he managed was a weak half smile.

"Didn't he ever have any real relationships?" He knew he shouldn't ask, but he needed to know.

She nodded, "Yeah, as a matter of fact he did. A guy named Michael when he was about 17, I think or maybe he'd just turned 18. Michael was new to the area where I was going to school, and he seemed to take an instant liking to Dean. They hung out all the time, and even shared the responsibility of watching me. But then one day out of the blue Michael just tells Dean that their done. No explanation just broke it off." She sighed and leaned her head against Sam's knee; he placed his hand in her soft hair.

"Anyways, Dean went to Michael's house to try and find out what had happened….and Michaels older brother, Jeff, answered the door. He screamed and yelled at Dean, called him every filthy name in the book all the while making wild accusations about how Dean's unnatural preferences had rubbed off on his little brother." She paused and her breath caught as she struggled to maintain control of her emotions.

"Seriously?" Sam asked quietly as he began unconsciously carding his long fingers through her mahogany locks.

"Sam…he beat my brother…within an inch of his life. That is not an exaggeration."

Sam sucked the air through suddenly clenched teeth as his fingers stilled in Anna's hair and he closed his eyes in silent denial.

"No." he whispered.

Anna laughed softly, but there was no humor in the sound, "I spent weeks with Dean in ICU, his cheek bones had been broken along with his jaw, they had to wire it shut, his left arm was broken in two places, along with his right ankle and there was extensive damage to his kidneys. But you know the worst of the damage…it was to his throat where Jeff had tried to strangle him to death…he almost got it done too." The last sentence was said in a low whisper.

"When he had finally healed up enough to be released he immediately joined the military and was gone for the next six years while I finished high school." She finished. "Sam…Jeff stole something from my brother that night…he made him angry, bitter, and ashamed of who and what he was. So many people reinforced that reaction for Dean that he just assumes that's the response he will get from everyone."

"Oh god….Anna, I didn't know any of this." Sam stammered.

"Yeah…well my older brother isn't exactly forth coming with emotional information. Honestly, he's a bit of an emotional eunuch." She stated simply.

Sam forced a small smile at that, "No…no he definitely is not an open book."

Anna sat back and looked Sam in the eyes trying to decipher what she saw smoldering just beneath the surface.

"You love him, don't you?"

It wasn't an accusation or even a question, it was a statement.

Sam closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his wall, his hand stilled its repetitive movements through her hair and he felt a lump form in his throat.

"Yeah…I think so. No…no…I know so."

She nodded, satisfied and pulled back slowly climbing to her feet; she then settled down on the bed next to him resting her head on his shoulder. The gesture held no hidden meaning, just two people suffering through something, with neither of them sure how to get through it.

"Yeah…yeah me too." She said quietly.

"But I don't think that he believes me. I don't think he thinks I actually want him that way."

She snorted at that, "Uh…based on his past experience, I'm not surprised that he ran from you Sam."

Sam turned to look at her now, "What do you mean?"

She lifted her head and stared straight into his questioning eyes, "You would seem…a bit…too good to be true. Dean would never accept that you wanted to be with him for no other reason than because you…wanted him. Honestly, he barely accepts that from me."

Sam nodded his understanding. "Anna, how do I prove it to him? I'm not exactly good at the whole emotional thing myself and I have no experience with this sort of thing. So how do two emotionally stunted people get their proverbial shit together?" he asked simply.

She shook her head from side to side and blew a breath out, "I have no idea Sam. Dean's got a lot of baggage; he may not let you carry any of it."

Sam groaned and dropped his head against the wall a little harder this time and proceeded to bang it a couple of times for effect.

"Sam. Stop. The only suggestion I have where my brother is concerned is that you need to let him come to you. Don't go after him. He won't believe you anyways, and you'll just wind up getting hurt."

Sam nodded at her simple solution although it went against everything that he currently wanted to do.

"I can try and do that." He stated as he felt her head drop back onto his shoulder.

"Sam?" Anna paused before she continued. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

Sam knitted his eyebrows together, but he heard the fragile quality in her voice and that melted his heart and he nodded as he leaned his own head on hers.

"Yeah, Anna…I don't want to be alone either."

She smiled and maneuvered into a more comfortable position with her head resting in his lap her arms curling around his hips and lower back. Sam returned to carding his fingers through her long hair and leaned back against the wall to process the information that she had revealed to him tonight.

Sam had known that Dean was private, and that he only let people see the sarcastic, funny, macho side of himself.

In fact Sam couldn't count the times that they had sat on their respective beds watching some cheesy horror flick on their small TV, while drinking a beer and making fun of the terrible acting and special effects, like some lame imitation of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

He felt a tear slip between his eyelids and roll down his cheek and plop onto his chest. Oh god Dean, if I had known then what I know now, I wouldn't have pushed you tonight. I wish you would have told me.

He felt Anna's breathing even out as she dropped into sleep and he brushed his knuckles along the soft skin of her cheek and forehead.

He allowed a small smile to play at the corners of his mouth as he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her temple.

"Thanks for telling me the truth."

He whispered before his own head leaned against wall, falling victim to his own exhaustion.

XXXX

Dean had driven for about four hours straight before it occurred to him, like typhoon that he may have royally fucked up.

Sam had never done anything to lead him to believe that he would intentionally hurt him, nor had he ever denied being gay or even straight for that matter. On the contrary he had trusted Dean with his own miserable life's story about he wound up at Stanford, he had talked about a mother that he clearly missed and he had embraced Dean as his friend, no questions asked. He had never pushed Dean to talk about his father or his time in the military, and top it all off, Sam had embraced his little sister as his own.

"Damn it!"

Dean shouted at the empty road as guilt poured through him and he pulled the car to curb immediately jumping out and leaning against the hood. He scrubbed his hand across his face and tried to quell the rising panic in his gut that he had screwed up something that was important and potentially life altering…in a good way.

He shook his head from side to side as the realization slammed into his unprepared heart and crippled him with its intensity.

"Oh god, what have I done?" he said to inky blackness of the night.

Dean pulled the cell phone from his pocket and turned it on waiting impatiently for it to locate a satellite and down load his messages.

He had one missed call from Anna, he listened to the message and smiled sadly as he listened to her tell him that everything was fine and that she would be waiting when he got back.

He also had one missed text message…his heart skidded to a halt as he saw that it was from Sam.

Dean, I'm sorry.

That was it, nothing else. Just 'I'm sorry', no tag line, no anything else. Dean glared at his phone like it was lying to him.

He thought about texting Sam back, but then he decided that maybe this was a conversation that they should have in person.

He climbed back behind the wheel of the Impala and flipped a 'bitch' and headed back the direction he had come.

The drive back to Stanford seemed to take for freakin ever, he was sure that he hadn't driven that far away.

Dean released a breath he hadn't realized that he had been holding as he finally saw the lights of the campus in the distance. The sun was just starting to rise and he knew that Sam wouldn't be far behind the first rays of light.

A smile played at the corners of his mouth at the thought of his lanky shaggy roommate. He is the best person that I have ever met. He sees the good in people, even if they don't deserve it. Especially me…I just can't imagine that he's gonna want me if he ever finds out…

His own face popped into his head at that last thought, he quickly pushed the thought aside as he pulled into the parking lot.

He was unprepared for the intense guilt that erupted in his heart when the image of Sam sinking to his knees in defeat flashed before his eyes.

I'm so sorry Sam.

He placed the car in park and looked toward the building only to see Sam coming down the steps for his run. His face looked tired and he wasn't moving with his usual grace or light step.

Dean felt his heart constrict, he knew that he was the reason for Sam's current state of mind and it was killing him that he had caused this.

He watched until Sam disappeared around the bend and only then did he head for the doors. He figured that he had about 45 minutes until Sam would return. With his bag slung over his shoulder he used the key card to open their room. He was not however prepared to see his little sister sleeping in Sam's bed.

He scrunched his eyes closed as he thought of all the inappropriate reason's that Anna could be here, the most glaring of which was that Sam had moved on from Dean immediately to his baby sister….

Dean discarded that thought almost as soon as it formed in his head, there was no way either of them would betray him like that. He was pretty sure of that. Dean quietly sat on Sam's bed and rubbed Anna's arm to wake her up, she opened bleary eyes and then immediately threw herself into his arms when she finally recognized him.

"Dean." She sobbed as tears started to stream down her face, "I thought that you wouldn't come back for a long time."

"Shh…it's okay…I'm sorry kiddo…I'm not going anywhere." He said into her hair as he hugged her and placed a kiss on top of her head, great now I feel guilty about Anna too.

"Sam doesn't know your back yet does he?" she asked as she got control of her emotions and sat up to look him in the eyes.

Dean smiled sadly, "No he doesn't…not yet. But he will." She looked in his intense green eyes for truth and found it surprisingly unhidden.

"Are you in love with him?" She asked quietly.

His smile and the truth slipped from his lips as he nodded slowly, "Yes."

Anna smiled and placed her small hand on his chin pulling his gaze to meet hers, "He loves you too ya know." She said as a smile began to pull at the corners of her eyes.

"I know."

She hugged him again and untangled herself from Sam's sheets and blankets; it was at this point that Dean noticed that she was fully dressed all the way down to her shoes. He smirked as she got her left foot stuck in the corner of the sheet and helped untangle it, she stood up and grabbed her purse.

"Sam went running, and he'll be back soon, so I'm gonna go…so you two can talk."

Dean nodded and stood pulling her into a tight hug, "Thanks Anna."

She smiled again returning the embrace with just as much enthusiasm, "What are little sisters for?"

He laughed as she pulled away from him and bounded out the door and down the corridor to the stairs; he stepped back into their room and decided that a shower was definitely in order after spending the night in his car.

Dean grabbed his shower stuff and headed for the showers, before all the hot water was gone.

Sam finished his run feeling no better than he had when he started. His heart was still heavy and now his ass hurt from the brutal pace that he had kept during the run this morning. He guessed that subconsciously he had thought that he could outrun his thoughts…he'd been wrong.

He pushed open the door to his room and grabbed his shower gear and immediately headed down the hall. As he entered the communal shower room, he pulled up short as he heard a voice belting out Highway to Hell by AC/DC; it was coming from the showers.

Sam felt a lump form in his throat as recent memories of Dean flooded his already fragile calm, tears formed in his eyes, which he quickly brushed away.

He placed his stuff next to an empty shower stall and started to strip down when the curtain across the room was pushed roughly aside and Dean stepped out…a completely naked Dean, as he reached for the towel that was hanging on the hook next to his shower stall.

Dean brought his green eyes up in surprised and caught Sam's startled ones and then…he smiled gently at the other man, "Hey ya Sammy."

Sam just continued to stare at the older man, confusion pouring off him as he silently watched Dean slowly grab the towel and wrap it around his hips and immediately started walking toward him.

Dean knew that he needed to handle this gingerly, but Sam looked like a deer caught in the headlights as soon as he recognized him.

So he grabbed his towel and slung it low on his hips, tucking the edge into the make shift waste band, as he walked slowly over to where Sam was currently having a hard time breathing. Dean pressed Sam up against the divider wall looked purposefully into his eyes for permission, once he saw the silent 'yes' he pressed his lips fervently to Sam's. Sam knew Dean was seeking forgiveness for his own stupidity, which he more than willing to give if it meant he got to have Dean this way.

Dean pulled back from the almost chaste kiss, "I'm so sorry Sammy." He whispered against Sam's throat, threading his fingers into Sam's sweat soaked hair. Dean leaned his head against the larger man's chest hearing the rapid trip hammer that was his heart and dropped his hands slowly wrapping his arms around Sam's lean hips effectively pulling him closer.

Sam's own breathing hitched as he felt the frantic pace of Dean's own heart, knowing instantly that he was scared senseless of the rejection that Sam could still though his way.

Sam's arms instantly pulled Dean closer and he let his hands rest at the base of Dean's spine, just above the towel on his lower back moving his fingers gently on the smooth skin.

"No…Dean, I'm the one that should be sorry. I shouldn't have pushed." Sam debated for a moment on telling Dean what Anna had disclosed the previous night, but almost instantly decided against it. That was a conversation that they could have a later date.

Dean pulled away from Sam's neck and looked into his eyes, his own barriers currently down, and Sam saw uncertainty, guilt and an unnerving amount of vulnerability floating in those liquid green pools.

"Are you sure Sammy? Are you absolutely sure this is what you want…that I'm what you want?" He asked it so quietly that Sam had lean in to hear him all the while trying not to get lost in the beauty of those eyes.

"Yes. Dean. I. Am. Sure." He punctuated each word with kiss to Dean's face and neck.

Dean groaned and tilted his head back to give Sam better access.

Sam dropped his lips to the hollow between Dean's shoulder and his collarbone, thoughts of what Dean's father had done to him flashing through his mind, he kissed that particular spot tenderly and was rewarded with contented sigh that tumbled up from somewhere deep within Dean's chest.

"Sam, we should probably go somewhere more private. The bathroom is about to get pretty busy."

Now it was Sam's turn to groan as he pulled back from Dean and nodded, placing his head against Dean's, "Yeah…yeah okay."

Sam didn't miss the unmistakable protrusion that was hidden, although not too well, beneath Dean's towel as he took a step back.

Dean looked down and chuckled; when he saw Sam's eyes latch onto his pretty obvious arousal.

"Yeah, so a towel's not really gonna do too much to hide that from the other guys." He said with a grin as he watched Sam blush all the way to his roots.

"Nope…nope it's really, really not."

Dean reluctantly pulled out of Sam's arms and walked to his things, rummaging through them until he found the clean pair of boxer-briefs.

He turned wriggling his eyebrows and then smiled wickedly at Sam as he simply dropped the towel to the floor and stepped slowly into the underwear.

Sam couldn't help but stare at the engorged member, he was surprised by how big Dean was; since he had never really paid attention to that before. He found a nervous chuckle escaping his chest before he could stop it.

Dean glanced back at Sam and smiled again, "Don't worry Sammy, I won't hurt you."

The smug smile was still there but the words were spoken with soft concern.

"I know." Sam said simply. "Look, Dean I really, really want to talk to you about all of this..." He gulped and blushed again. "And continue this…but I need to take a shower first."

Dean wrinkled his nose, "Yeah, you do." Then he fricken winked, he winked, at Sam, "How far did you run dude, you smell terrible." Dean crossed the room in two long strides and pulled Sam's mouth down to his again, and it was Oh god… so hot! Sam almost forgot that he needed to get in the shower before there was a run on them from the other residents in the dorm.

Dean moaned deep in his throat and pulled away from Sam again, patting Sam on the ass, "Nice." he said, an appreciative smirk on his face as he went back to grab his stuff.

"Don't be too long Sammy, I'm starving." The double meaning was not lost on Sam as Dean winked again and started humming as he moved off down the hallway.
Sam stripped his soiled clothing off, careful of his own erection as he stepped gingerly into the shower. He wondered briefly if he should take care of that before he went back to the room or what?

Ultimately he opted for comfort and proceeded to do more than just clean the dust and sweat from his run during his shower.

When Sam got back to their room, Dean was almost fully dressed and humming to the music that was now blaring out of his iPod through a small set of speakers on the desk.

The smile that he shot Sam when he walked in was amazingly innocent and sweet, to say the least. Sam was surprised to see that there was nothing hidden in Dean's eyes as he stared openly at Sam.

"Hey." Dean said as he moved to the closet grabbing his normal black t-shirt, he had already pulled on the pair of dark jeans that he taken to showers with him.

Dean crossed the room in one stride and pulled Sam into an embrace against his chest. He needed to feel Sam's skin against his hands, the toned and chiseled muscles twitched as his ran his hands up Sam's sides and over his chest to rest in his soft damp hair.

"Dean." Sam groaned, "If we are gonna make breakfast, we gotta stop…"

"Mmmm" was the only answer that Dean could muster as his lips sought Sam's.

Sam kissed him back just as enthusiastically, opening his mouth to allow Dean's tongue to slip inside and tangle with his own for dominance.

"Dean…" he moaned again, "Breakfast."
Dean smiled against Sam's mouth as he thought of the fact that neither of them had classes this afternoon, so they could…what…stay in bed once they got back from the diner?!

He pulled away from Sam, but not before he ran his hands just below Sam's waist line to the firmly rounded top of his ass and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Been wantin to do that since I met you in the library that day." He breathed against Sam's lips, smiling the whole time.

Sam leaned his head against Dean's and shook it back and forth, "Jerk." He said affectionately.

"Bitch." Came Dean's immediate reply along with a brilliant smile that included those amazing green eyes.

Sam grinned back and Dean was promptly reminded why he loved to see Sam smile, those fricken dimples were insane!

Dean took a step back and allowed Sam to throw a t-shirt over his shoulders, effectively covering up Dean's current "distraction" also known as his lower abs. Dean just smirked and went to grab his wallet and his keys from the tray on the dresser.

Sam grabbed his hand as he moved to open the door, "Dean…I don't know why you changed your mind and came back…but I'm glad you did." The last part was almost a whisper.

Dean felt his heart constrict at the thought of what he had almost thrown away last night. He reached down and entangled his fingers with Sam's, "It was you." He said quietly. "I just couldn't walk away from you."

Sam squeezed his hand back and released it to grab his own wallet. "Diner?" he asked.

"Diner." Dean repeated.

"Ya know, since you didn't run today, you're going to have to eat the healthy version of breakfast." Sam couldn't resist the jibe and he was rewarded with a death scene in front of their room that Oscar worthy.

Sam tried to scowl, but only succeeded in breaking into a fit of laughter as Dean stayed motionless on the floor in front of the door.

He grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him to his feet, "Come on you idiot. Let's go."

Sam was rewarded with another amazing smile and after a glance around to make sure they were alone, a quick but passionate kiss.

Dean's lips were still tingling when they reached the Impala, and he opened the door, sliding across to unlock Sam's side. Interesting, I've never really assigned that seat to anyone, not even Anna.

The thought sent a warm shiver down his back and then rested in his stomach as he reflected on how much this geeky kid from no-where USA had wormed his way into Dean's life and heart.

Sam slid in and looked at him with his big puppy dog eyes, and smiled so sweetly that Dean questioned what he had done to deserve it.

"What was that for?" he asked.

Sam's dimples grew deeper and he blushed again, looking at his hands momentarily and the bringing his eyes back to Dean.

Dean didn't think that he would ever get tired of that, "Nothing, just glad you're you."

Dean's eyes furrowed at that comment.

"Dude, chick-flick much?" he asked with a laugh.

Sam's face instantly changed to the classic 'bitch' face and he flipped Dean off as they rolled out onto the street.

Dean burst out laughing as he looked affectionately in Sam's direction again.

TBC...

Huh, well they are definitely together now, I guess we'll see where this goes. Since I have most of this already written I was thinking that I would just post it.