"So, you're Ryou Bakura, yes?"

I stared down at my hands, folded in my lap. Here I was, being forced to speak with yet another stranger. And after the incident this morning, I wasn't exactly in the mood to talk, especially not to a doctor that probably already knew about it.

"Yes." For the first time since entering the office, I glanced up at the person in front of me. It was a woman who looked to be in her mid-twenties, maybe early thirties. "Um, it's nice to meet you."

She smiled. "Yes. And in case they didn't tell you, I'm Dr. Arisato. You can call me Mia, though, if you want." I shook my head to decline her offer almost straight away.

"That's alright. Dr. Arisato is fine." A mild look of displeasure crossed her face, but she said nothing, still smiling.

"Alright, so let's get started. Let's see…" she glanced down at her clipboard, up at me, and down again. "So, Ryou, it says you checked yourself in last night after a suicide attempt?" I clenched my fists so that my nails dug into my palms. Two minutes in, and she started with the difficult questions.

"That's right," I said, avoiding eye contact at all costs. "But something stopped me from jumping, and I don't know what."

"Mhm." Dr. Arisato scribbled something in her notes. "So, Ryou, what made you decide to try and commit suicide?" I swallowed. It was a strange feeling having someone I had only just met asking me such personal questions. I couldn't figure out how to respond right away. I shrugged.

"Nothing, really. I guess I just didn't want to live anymore. What's the point, when I'm so unhappy all the time?"

More scribbling. "So, there's absolutely nothing that you consider to be worth living for?" I hated this. There were too many questions that were too hard to answer. The room was almost suffocating, with no colors but whites, greys, and browns. It was so hot, too. If there had been any windows, I would have opened them myself.

"…I don't know," is what I finally decided to say. "I don't have anything or anyone that I'm particularly attached to."

The doctor nodded. "It also says here that you live alone. Do you mind telling me what happened to the rest of your family?" Oh, god. This was one of the only things I had hoped to avoid in this session. To this day, talking about my family was about as comfortable as sticking needles up my fingernails.

"My mother and sister… they…" I swallowed hard, trying not to let myself break down sobbing. "Um, they died when I was ten, in a car accident. And my father is always away on business, so…" I trailed off, unconsciously wiping at my eyes. It wasn't fair, how they asked me these questions on my first day here. I understood that Dr. Arisato meant well, but she was digging through my mind, picking out my weaknesses and phrasing them as questions. All I wanted was to get out of that stifling room, curl up in bed, and forget everything that had happened.

"Well, just so you know, we have contacted your father to tell him about this." All of a sudden, the hot room felt like a freezer. My throat felt dry, and my face paled.

It had been at least six months since I had received as much as a letter from my father, having ended our previous visit three days early after an argument. If he found out about this, about how weak I was, he would either grow angrier and more disappointed in me, or not care at all.

I assumed the latter, based on past experience.

"He's… well… did he say anything?" I'm sure my voice sounded almost pitiful, but I couldn't help it. This had the potential to be a bad experience, and the very idea of it terrified me. Dr. Arisato looked uncomfortable, only adding to my uneasiness.

"He said he would be coming as soon as his work would allow it, but it may take some time. For right now, he'll be sending the money required to keep you here."

"I see." I bit my lower lip. I had assumed that I wouldn't see him right away (if at all), so I wasn't surprised. I guess I had just hoped that he would prove me wrong, for once.

Too bad miracles never really happened in real life.

Dr. Arisato and I talked for a while longer, but nothing very significant came up. I did have to explain that morning's incident, but after all the digging that had already been done, as well as how numb I still felt from it, it practically seemed insignificant. Still, all I wanted was to leave that room. These places were supposed to help you, yet there I was, being interrogated about my personal life.

When I left the office, I looked down at my wrist and winced. The skin was pink and raw, speckled with bits of red. I didn't know how I hadn't noticed it before, because it stung, even if it hadn't bled all that much. I sighed to myself.

I did it again. Didn't I promise not to do this to myself anymore?

You tried to kill yourself. You already broke that promise last night.

I felt like I was going to start crying. God, how pathetic could I possibly get? It was only my first day in this place, and I had already been driven to self harm AND have an anxiety attack. There was one thing that I could tell for sure at that moment- this was NOT going to be easy.

Xxx

Well, here's some good news- I already have the next chapter of this written out! I was originally going to have a two-part, really long chapter, but in the end, I couldn't really feel the flow, which is why I separated them. So, expect that to be up here as soon as I get time to type it all!