I didn't see Malik for three days after that, although I returned to my normal room the day after the incident. Some doctors questioned me about what had happened and what I thought should be done about it, but I was able to brush them off. I told them that yes, I would be alright with seeing him again, or even going back to sharing a room with him. I wasn't sure why I felt that way, so even when they asked, I couldn't answer that question. But I really did want to see him again. I wanted to know more about him, to talk with him, And considering how much I hated talking to anyone the rest of the time, that felt like it could be important.

But for the three days that Malik was gone, I was silent for most of the time. The only people I had gotten to know so far had been Malik and Bakura, who I had nothing to say to anyways. So I was completely alone until Malik came back, if he was even willing to see me again. I was still partially to blame for what happened, after all- I had been the one to upset him enough that his other personality came out. If he still hated me, I wouldn't be able to blame him in the least.

After all, he wouldn't be the only one.

Xxx

When I first saw Malik after he returned, he was sitting at his normal table. Upon closer inspection, I quickly noticed just how exhausted he looked. There were bags under his eyes, and his hair was still tangled from sleep. He wasn't even close to giving off the cheerful, vibrant aura he had on my first day. It was the opposite, actually- he looked absolutely terrible.

He glanced up just as I was about to look away, and as our eyes met, I paused. His lips parted slightly, and his eyes widened in surprise. He quickly moved his gaze to the table, his expression unreadable.

I sighed. Did he want to avoid me? Was he still angry with me?

There was really only one way to find out. I took a deep breath, and began walking toward where Malik was sitting. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him as I approached. Pointing to a chair, I asked, "Is it alright if I sit here?" Malik glanced up at me in surprise for a moment, before lowering his head and nodding. He didn't even look at me as I sat down.

"Why are you here?" he asked, his head still down. "I thought that you would hate me, after what happened the other day." He laughed bitterly. "You wouldn't have been the first."

I shrugged. "You said yourself that we needed to stick together in this place. Besides, I felt like I needed to apologize." Malik looked up at me for the first time since my arrival. His eyes held surprise, but he laughed.

"I tried to kill you, and you want to apologize? You need to get your priorities straight."

"Well, I just…" I closed my eyes and sighed. "I made assumptions that I shouldn't have, and ended up upsetting you. None of this would have happened if I hadn't left you like that."

Malik stared at me with wide eyes. He started to speak a few times, but he always cut himself off. "Don't be ridiculous," he finally said, looking away again. "All of this can only be traced back to me being an ass. You only ran away because I was-"

"Malik." I couldn't stand to let him keep going like this- it hurt me almost as much as I was sure it hurt him. "Don't keep doing this to yourself. I'll take some of the blame, and so can you. It's not going to change anything if you keep feeling like this, so you can go ahead and move on."

"Ryou…" Malik closed his eyes and took a deep breath, which was exhaled in a heavy sigh. "You don't know me. In my world, moving on isn't an option. It never has been. No matter what, something will always remind you of whatever it is you try to forget. Not a day has gone by that I haven't had to remember that." He paused. "I showed you my wrists. You saw how messed up they looked. Well, I see it too. And when I look at those scars, or any of the others, for that matter, I can't just 'move on.' Forgetting is Impossible."

I stared down at the table, unsure of what to say next. Everything he had just said, as much as I hated to admit it, was completely true. I couldn't say anything to make him feel better, because I couldn't say anything in return and call it truth. I had no idea what Malik had been through, but the general idea was the same as both of us. The past could never be forgotten. And for some people, that truth was harder to accept than it was for others.

"Then we don't have to forget," I finally said. "We don't have to move on. But at the very least, can we still try and get along?"

"I… you…" Malik wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, and looked up at me with a shaky smile. "You're way too forgiving. You're like my complete opposite." He paused. "But I guess that's a good thing."

"You're not…" I shook my head and smiled. "You're a good person, Malik. I don't know you very well, but… I want to. I can't talk to people without panicking most of the time, but I feel like you're different." My face was burning with embarrassment, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to talk with him, to have someone I could call a friend.

"How about this, then." Malik's eyes held a faraway look, as though he had gone to another place entirely. "If you want to know me, I'll tell you everything about myself- my past, my present, and whatever the future will probably hold for me. I'll share all of it with you, and then I'll ask you if you still think I'm such a great person.

I probably should have hesitated more than I did. But curiosity got the best of me, and before I knew it, I was nodding my head. "I said I wanted to know, after all." Malik stared downwards, not looking at me once as he began to speak.

Xxx

"I came from a small family. When I was born, I had a brother, a sister, a mother, and a father. Although I never did get to meet my mother- she ended up dying right after giving birth to me. Sometimes I wonder if that was some sort of sick foreshadowing of the rest of my life.

My brother, Rishid, was always nice to me. We weren't related my blood, and my father never let us forget that. Still, we were always close growing up. I didn't have very many friends, because I was rarely allowed out of the house. But I never really minded that, and the people who picked on me when I did go out rarely bothered me. Somehow, whenever the kids in my neighborhood were beating the shit out of me, Rishid would show up and step in. I idolized him, just like any normal kid looks up to their older sibling.

I also had my sister, Ishizu. We really never had the same connection as I had with Rishid, but she was still a good older sister. She still is, actually- every once in a while, she'll come back here and visit with me, even though she's usually busy with work.

Then there was my father. There are a lot of words that could describe him, the first ones coming to mind being "A complete monster." My mother's death had completely devastated him, and he decided early on in my life that I was the only one who could be blamed. As far back as I can remember, he's told me how much he hates me, how much he wished that I had died in her place. Rishid was often bullied by him too, for not being his real son, but at the end of the day, I was his favorite toy, one he enjoyed breaking repeatedly.

Still, from what I remember, he didn't start to actually leave lasting marks on my body until I was around eight years old. Although by the time he started that, he had me convinced that I was a terrible child, and that I deserved everything I got. What else was I supposed to believe?

I still have scars from the years that this was happening, although he was smart enough to put them where they wouldn't be seen. Sure, he may have been an asshole, but he knew how to manipulate others into believing his innocence. Even if I had had the courage to tell anyone back then, nothing would have been done, I can guarantee it.

Despite the torment he suffered on his own, sometimes Rishid would stand in for me and take some of the damage. He was always much stronger than I was, and he never complained about the times he helped me. But in the end, he and Rishid were in the same situation as I was- we were only children, and no matter how many scars appeared on my body, or how thin I was forced to become, we weren't powerful enough to overthrow him.

At ten years old, things only got worse. There were two or three times where I ended up in the hospital because of my father, forced to tell some lie about falling down the stairs. He still hated me after all those years, so much that he had no problems showing and telling me how much he wanted me to die. "Revenge for my wife," is what he called it. If Rishid and Ishizu hadn't been there, I would have been dead a long time ago.

Although, by the time I had turned eleven years old, death didn't seem very scary anymore. I had started to hurt myself when I was about nine, but the cuts had always been shallow, small marks to prove that I could still control something. I started doing it more and more, convinced that it was what kept me sane and alive. But not even that could help me for long, and I ended up trying to kill myself on my eleventh birthday. I don't remember what made that day so terrible, but at that point, I didn't need a specific reason. I only wanted everything to stop.

According to my sister and the doctors, it was Rishid who saved my life that day. He found me and somehow brought me to the hospital, all without running into my father, who undoubtedly punished him severely for it when he did find out.

I'll never forget the faces my family had when I next saw them. Ishizu was crying, and Rishid was faking a smile as he told me that things would be alright.

I didn't see my father until I returned home, after explaining away all the scars on my far-too-thin body. He looked so disappointed, and told me, "Try harder next time."

So I did.

Between then and the day I turned twelve, I think I attempted suicide three more times. Every single time, Rishid found me and helped me. And every single time, my father berated me for being so useless. I couldn't even die properly, after all. That was one of the worst years of my life, both physically and mentally.

The last day of my father's life was the day before the New Year. And if what happened hadn't ended up happening, it would have finally been mine.

I remember that my father had been drinking that day. Surprisingly, it was a rare occasion for him to do that, but with how destructive he acted while drunk, that might have been a good thing.

I remember that everything started as I walked into the kitchen, only to find Rishid lying unconscious on the floor, my father standing over him. He was spattered in blood, as was the knife in his hand. And for the first time, I understood what Rishid went through whenever I tried to kill myself. Everything up to that point had been terrible, sure, but seeing the one person I could rely on in my personal hell collapsed and barely breathing was, I think, what finally sent me over the edge. I remember I only stood and stared for a minute, but the last thing I saw was my father noticing me, grinning, and walking towards me with the knife in his hand.

The next thing I knew, I was sitting next to my father's mutilated body, soaked in blood. Rishid was on my other side, just as still as my father. I couldn't say anything; all I could do was scream. Ishizu ran in and stared on in shock, and after that, everything was a blur.

I found out later that that was the day my other personality came out for the first time. You met him the other day, from what I heard. So when it came time for the police to decide what to do with me, they decided that I was insane, and threw me in here.

Xxx

"And now, here I am," Malik said. He sighed, indicating that he had finished his story. For the first time since he had started talking, he looked up at me and smiled sadly. "So, do you think I'm a good, strong person? After I killed both my parents, let my brother die, and tried to kill myself? I'm weak, Ryou. I can't do anything. I never could." Malik sniffed, and I could see the tears in his eyes. "So, go ahead and hate me. I hate myself, too."

Seeing the broken look in Malik's eyes, there was only one thing I could think of doing. I stood up, walked around the table, and put my hand on his shoulder. It was a small gesture, but it was something that always made me feel better. It meant that someone cared enough to worry about you, which could sometimes make all the difference in the world.

"I still don't think that way," I said softly. "I think… that you were caught up in something that no one should have to deal with. So, I still want to stay with you, to get to know you even more. Who knows? If you want to, we could even end up being friends."

Malik's eyes were wide as he stared up at me, tears still falling down his cheeks. "Ryou…" he whispered, almost unbelievingly. "Ryou, I…"

All of a sudden, I felt Malik's arms wrap tightly around my waist, and his head was buried into my chest. He sobbed and said my name over and over as he broke down in front of me, exactly as I had only a few short days ago. I decided to stay quiet, mostly because there was simply nothing to say.

"It's been a long time since anyone has said that to me," Malik said, quietly looking up at me as he calmed down. "Bakura and I get along, sure, but I don't know how he feels about me." Malik glanced around the room. "Come to think of it, where is Bakura? He hasn't shown up, and lunch is almost over." I shrugged. Come to think of it, I hadn't seen him much the past few days, either. I wished that I knew how to feel about that- while Malik seemed to miss him, I was glad to not be berated by him, or be thrown into another panic attack. But Malik seemed to move on in the blink of an eye, as he started to talk about unimportant things. So I decided to let it go as well, although a few questions about Bakura were still bothering me.

I still wondered what had drawn me to these people, why I was so interested in them. But for that moment, I didn't care. Because in only three days, I had finally found someone I could call a friend.

Xxx

It's finally done! I had to start this chapter maybe three times before I was satisfied. And even now, I wish that it had been better. Still, I've been waiting to write Malik's past in this. I know it's pretty different from his canon childhood, but this IS an AU, so you'll have to come to expect that sort of thing. Oh, well. Reviews would absolutely make my day, if you have time to leave one.