A/N: Re-reading your own stuff can be so annoying because you'll catch all the little errors. Like "grandiose speeches", or "I do despise", which was originally "I don't care for" but turned into "I don't despise". I've fixed those errors.

I know this has been a long time coming, but the ending got really off-track so I had to rewrite pretty much the whole chapter and then I hit a major work deadline and… yeah. Anyways, the rewrite turned into 15 pages and that takes forever to proof. I broke up what was supposed to be 1 chapter into 3 chapters, possibly 4 while I'm proof reading the 3rd chapter and find it way too long (and I probably will because these two chapters only make up half of the original one). Hopefully chapters 6 or 6 & 7 will be finished soon, but at least here are two chapters.

As I laid there I continued to muse about the similarities between my broken trine and the turbulent Seeker trine. I thought about our earlier skirmish with them. In particular, I thought about my fight with the loud-mouth solider, Skywarp, a Decepticon who's way too enthusiastic to kill and be part of energon-shed battles.

My brother, too, enjoys an all out battle with the shredded remains of his enemies surrounding him and in his wake. I enjoy the feeling of my enemy being defeated, but I rarely basked in their actual torment. Sure, I would be lying if I said I felt no joy in knowing that my enemy was suffering for their last few clicks, but unlike Skywarp I would never prolong killing my target for pleasure. Granted, Skywarp doesn't have much patience but on Cybertron I've seen him intentionally deliver unclean killing blows time after time again. Likewise, many Decepticons claim the same about my brother and they aren't wrong. Ever since the loss of our home in Kaon, I think my brother's merciless kills is his way of getting back at the Decepticons for ruining our lives. When Kaon first fell, my brother's anger at the Decepticons brewed beneath the surface for some time until it erupted into a borderline psychotic rage. He calmed down somewhat when the Autobots saved us, but after we had our first battle he began to slip back, and when the Decepticons started deliberately destroying cities like they did to Kaon, he slipped even further and a lot faster.

I wonder if the same could be said of Skywarp, that perhaps his rage towards us is because he blames us for destroying something he cared about? I doubt it, given that his opponents are the peace-loving Autobots, but it isn't impossible. After the Decepticons took Kaon, there were unauthorized revenge strikes against predominantly Decepticon areas even though the areas weren't entirely loyal or sympathetic to the Decepticons. Perhaps Skywarp had been one of those citizens who hadn't yet casted in his lot with the Decepticons until a group of near-sighted Autobots attacked his home?

Anyone who loses everything like that would be angry for a long time, if they ever get past it. I know I didn't recover from losing our home and I don't know if I ever will. Back then, before the war, I was pretty easy going. When the Autobots rescued what few captured habitants of Kaon were left, I was determined to not let the Decepticons to destroy what I had left – me. I had my brother of course, but I was trying to rescue him from himself because he was doing exactly the opposite of what I was doing. Unfortunately, even after the battles faded and we mourned the lost, war still continued to chip away pieces of us. My friends and I were always on the go in our pre-war life, playing whatever sports, games, bets, dumb ideas, etc we could. We even occasionally pranked one another. Most of my friends died by the time I joined the Autobots, so when I promised myself to not lose myself in the war, I meant in spirit of them too.

Soon after Streaker and I were done with training, we joined a platoon, where I discovered that there were very few approved activities for unwinding. I don't remember how long I'd been a part of the Autobot army, but I remember one orn an officer banned my favorite sport. I was already wound tight from a grueling training exercise – which included being next to Sunstreaker and his ruined paint job for joors – so I decided to pass on my frustration. I modified an old prank I did with my friends and set a trap in his quarters to drop the sports equipment on him when he reached his berth. The aftermath gave me the first feeling of satisfaction I had in a long time. Since then I prank those who frustrate me with tactics I learned from my friends. It might not be quite in the spirit of them, another proverbial chip I lost, but I damn well won't let the war take the block away.

Generally my pranks don't have much cruelty to them, but the same can't be said about Skywarp. I don't know much of the details, but in some of my encounters with Skywarp while he's boasting about his warrior ferocity, he'll mention how even off the battle field he's to be feared because of his "pranks."

I say "pranks" because they don't sound like pranks but more like simple-yet-nasty surprises. It doesn't faze me one bit to hear a Decepticon who enjoys mayhem boasting about his cruel sense of humor; neither am I taken back to learn that the impatient mech's so-called pranks had little creativity to them. Besides being impatient, Skywarp has the intelligence of a turbo-rat. If someone points him towards a direction and says "kill", he'll do exactly that and make them proud, but he can't figure out the best place of attack on his own. And yet, just like comparing Skywarp's attitude on battle to Sunstreaker's, my brother hardly fairs any better when it comes to using actual intelligence. It's something that I've always been disappointed in him. I know he's smarter than half of the warriors here but he doesn't show it in favor of keeping his reputation as the fiercest warrior. He wants the officers planning attacks to keep him where the slaughter is and not redirect him to a place that requires a somewhat-keen intellect. I swear he's used his cranial unit as a weapon so many times that he can't process the idea that it's not going to negatively impact his reputation if he uses what's inside his cranial unit.

My brother prides his reputation so much that he keeps it up off the battlefield, having lost any charm or social cares he had before the war. He's typically standoffish with the others and now few of them want anything to do with him. Apparently Sunstreaker is the exact opposite of Skywarp socially. Once Swindle spoke about Skywarp's cruel pranks but I was stunned about how Swindle said it. He spoke about the Seeker's pranks with admiration. It seems that Skywarp's pranks actually impress the other Decepticons. Well, not his victim, but the other Decepticons. Unlike the gruff Sunstreaker who couldn't charm a human teenage girl prone to worship if he wanted, Skywarp can charm almost any Decepticon into letting him break the rules. I can charm my comrades somewhat but Skywarp is much better at it than me. Skywarp's disruptions actually work for him while mine usually end up with me in trouble.

It doesn't matter to me anyways, given that any Autobot's charming nature is always compared to Bumblebee or Jazz's friendly attitudes. We all know that half of the Autobots here don't see a fellow Autobot when they look at Sunstreaker or me, but an Autobot capable of Decepticon-worthy violence and that scares them. To most of the remaining other half of the Autobots we're too unusual for them to understand because we aren't like them. We used to be, but most of the Autobots can still switch off their 'soldier mode' and suddenly act like their old light-hearted self from before the war, happily playing with dirt or catching up with the local entertainment or whatever. Sometimes in the Rec Room I feel like I'm looking through thick glass and trying to understand a foreign species on display that's not burden with the damages of war.

I don't think there's very many mechs I know who would understand what it means to be so different from your team. Well, there's one mech I've never considered before, given that he's my enemy. There have been times when we're moving quietly into attack position and the officers send me to the Seekers' known location. When that happens and it takes forever for the signal, I'll hear whole conversations between the Seekers, which usually is just Skywarp and Thundercracker. The purple jet says things I'd expect from him, but Thundercracker is a different matter. Sometimes he says things that are very unusual for a Decepticon. Things that make him sound very unusual for a Decepticon.

Suddenly my concentration was broken as I heard several light noises. Clicks later Ratchet announced, "Sideswipe, I've fixed a servo for your hip." Ratchet approached my berth. "Your receptors located in that region are still off so you should feel little, if anything."

"Cool. Can I leave then when you're done?"

"No."

"I'll be a pain. I'll complain as much as I can, and as loud as I can. Maybe even as high-pitched and whinny as I can," I warned playfully, forcefully willing myself to be my usual self when I'm around Ratchet.

"Okay, you want to play this game?" Ratchet snapped back hotly. "How about this: youcan do that until you drive me crazy and I gag and strap you down, OR I'll let you go back to your quarters – "

"Yay!"

" – and I'll send an officer to your quarters to baby-sit you so I don't get chewed for violating regulations."

"Frag you," I muttered back at Ratchet's completely humorless comeback. Usually he tells me to shut up with some sort of threat, but normally with a barely-detectable humorous undertone in his voice. I guess maybe my earlier jolly attitude got to him. Or maybe repairing that servo was more irritating than I realized. Either way, maybe I should take it back a notch and I might fly under his radar until I'm cleared for duty. There's a time to mess with Ratchet and there's a time to play nice; right now it's time for the later. "Okay, Ratchet, since I'm sure you want a break from the Medbay and you can't leave while I'm here since there's no one else available to officially be in charge of me while I'm technically hospitalized, I'll go to my quarters and wait for whatever officer you send."

A pinching sensation cut across my upper hip strut and I realized the servo had been dropped. It had landed on top of some cables. "I'm sorry, what?" Ratchet gaped.

"I said I'll get out of your way so you can take some time to unwind before fixing my optics."

"Primus, the damage to your cranial unit is worse than I thought – it's managed to damage your personality enough that it created a nice streak. Normally cranial damage that results in reduces mental capacity makes a mech dumb, but you are nicer. You must have a few crossed wires. Or you were already dumb enough."

"Haha. I'll leave as soon as you get that servo you dropped in my hip – ow, by the way – and get the leg working."

I guess Ratchet hadn't notice the dropped servo because not a click more passed before the pinching sensation disappeared. "Well then I guess I better get going. It will only take a few breems."

Amazingly, for something so complicated that even Wheeljack couldn't do it, it really did only take a few breems. Ratchet helped me up when he was done and practically shoved me out the door after he checked his other patient, the stable and offline First Aid. Knowing Ratchet he wouldn't be gone for long anyways, even if he leaves Wheeljack to watch over First Aid, but even a CMO has to take a break.

Ratchet practically rushed me back to my quarters before disappearing as he tossed out a quick "stay put, that's an order!" bark. Maybe he wants to get his drink on, I dunno, but I was left in my silent quarters. Now what to do?

Play video games or watch TV? Slag, I can't do either one. That also rules out my secret chess board I practice on so one orn I can shock Prowl into glitching when I beat him.

At best I could listen to music but I wouldn't be able to select anything specific. I could scroll through Streaker's and my playlists one by one until I find something I'm in the mood for, but Sunny has way more play lists than anyone could possibly guess and I don't care for at least half of them.

I sat down on my berth and idly scrolled through the playlists trying to find one of mine. This was hardly any better. Instead of laying on a berth waiting for repairs, I'm sitting here and wait for some officer to show while I fumble with the playlists.

Dully I thought about the different officers' schedules and tried guessing whichever one would show up, but eventually my thoughts ended up right back where they left off in Medbay, on Thundercracker.