There was one positive that came out of the baby Isabelle tragedy, the two lieutenants had never been closer. The blame game emanating from each man's guilt over Andy Darden's death was gone. The awkward moments and arguing following the Heather Darden "incident" seemed like they had never occurred. Casey was looking after Severide like an overprotective brother and Shay couldn't have been happier. She always worried about Kelly on the job. But since they became more than roommates, more than best friends, Shay's level of worry reached new heights. Kelly's descent into the darker corners of his mind also added to Shay's concern. Now that Kelly was "back" she didn't want anything to harm this man she loved. So, yes, she was happy that Casey had an extra set of eyes on Kelly.
"Damn, you are beautiful," Kelly said quietly as Shay met him in the firehouse kitchen. He made sure no one could hear, but the light in his eyes told a story to everyone.
"Sshhh," whispered Shay. "You're so bad. Mmmm, but so good," she said in his ear attempting a sexy voice but failing miserably.
Kelly laughed so loudly that Shay turned a bright shade of red. So much for clandestine meetings in the kitchen.
They decided to stay home that night, no joining friends at the bar. No, this would be another night in. The passion had only increased in the past few weeks. Kelly was a giving man, but his recovery had led him to pursue a fierce drive to make Shay happy, in every way. Almost every way. There still had been no mention of a baby, of them making a baby together.
"How do you do that?" Shay asked out of breath as Kelly ran his tongue slowly back up her stomach, lingering on her breasts, and finally full on her lips. His eyes were half closed as he innocently shrugged one shoulder and gave her that devilish grin. Shay had never felt this intensity before with any man or woman. She wrapped her arms and legs around this man vowing to never let go. He used more than his mouth the next time and Shay felt shudders of pleasure echo from deep within her. She breathed in Kelly's smell and exhaled slowly, eyes closed, a huge smile on her face.
Kelly rolled off of her propping his head up on one arm. He still had that grin on his face obviously satisfied with his results.
Shay opened one eye and laughed out loud, "So you're feeling pretty good about yourself right now, are you?"
"Yes, I am. More than satisfied," said Kelly old cockiness intact, the grin seemingly a permanent fixture on his face.
Shay rolled over quickly on top of her fireman and began round two, this time she was in charge. Her hands started on his face, moving down his chest. She leaned in pressing her mouth against his, opening her eyes to see the look of pleasure on his face. She rolled him on top of her and Kelly moaned as Shay's hands moved down his back like velvet stopping and teasing before they started their journey again. They slowly moved to the front and Kelly was completely in her control. How could such a small woman have such power thought Kelly as Shay went deeper and deeper. Kelly couldn't think, he was laying completely still, and completely at peace.
Kelly had been with many women, too many, but not like this. He could truly say that he had a happiness within him that he hadn't experienced before. Hell, he'd been in love, but there was always a desire for more, something in him that was never satisfied. Right now he lay flat on his back completely satisfied and it was Shay's turn to have a cocky grin on her face.
That night Shay went downstairs for a glass of water, so thirsty for some reason she thought laughing to herself. A quick glance at her phone, three texts? At this time of night? Clarice.
Shay read the messages quickly, all of them asking to see her, knowing she didn't deserve it, but asking nonetheless. Typical Clarice thought Shay. You have got to be kidding me. Shay deleted the messages, headed back up to Kelly, and tossed and turned all night long.
The next morning, Kelly was heading to the firehouse leaving Shay behind. She was off and he was on shift. It seemed strange to be going in without her.
"Be careful and don't do anything stupid," said Shay as Kelly kissed her on the forehead.
"Never," he said innocently. "Hey, I'll miss you. Be good," Kelly continued with a smile. He gave her another kiss then moaned, "Ahhh, I don't want to go! It's such bullshit that Boden gave us separate shifts." He gave her one more look and forced himself out the door.
Shay's phone was littered with five more texts from Clarice. Each text was a little more desperate, a little more sad, and each one mentioned Wesley more and more. The last text was about needing to apologize, needing closure, and letting Wesley see Shay one more time. Jesus, Shay thought. I am going to have to actually text her so that she will stop with this. Damn, I should have told Kelly about the texts last night. Shay contemplated whether to text him now and let him know what was going on. No, she would basically tell Clarice to go to hell and that would be the last of it.
"I'm sorry things are not going well, but you made your decision. We are done. Please don't text me anymore."
As Shay hit send, she felt like she was ridding her life of Clarice once and for all. She had loved this woman more than anyone else before, she would always have love for this woman. But now she knew her future was without this woman. She could hit send and know that it was over. Nothing Clarice could say or do would draw her back in, not even Wesley. Kelly was the man in her life and she was so thankful to have him. She knew others thought she was crazy to trust this womanizer, but she knew Kelly like none of them. She knew every part of him and trusted him with every part do herself.
The knock at the door startled Shay back to reality. Her mouth dropped as she opened the door and found herself looking into Clarice's face. Her eyes lowered and she saw Wesley in her arms.
"I am so sorry to just drop by," started Clarice, "but you wouldn't respond and I didn't feel good about the way I left it. No, that was wrong. I treated you like shit and I am so sorry." Clarice was crying now and passed Wesley to Shay in one quick movement before making her way to a box of Kleenex.
Shay had no words as she looked into Wesley's eyes. The baby had grown so much and was aware of his surroundings now. He was just a newborn when Clarice walked away for the 2nd? 3rd? time. Wesley was looking at Shay and it hurt. Shay knew this had almost been her family, her son, the ache was still there.
Clarice came around the back of Shay with a big wad of tissue in her hand looking over Shay's shoulder down at Wesley.
Kelly walked into the unlocked apartment with a huge bouquet of yellow tulips and a silly smile on his face. "Shay! Guess who couldn't stay..." Kelly's hand dropped the flowers as his brain would not accept what he was seeing. Shay was holding Wesley, Clarice was right by her side and Kelly on the outside looking in.
"You have got to be shitting me!" Kelly yelled wanting to hit something, really wanting to smash someone's face in. He turned, walked out the door, and found himself running to his car. He revved the engine and tore down the street driving so fast, trying to drive far away from what he just saw.
Shay dumped Wesley back in Clarice's arm and ran after Kelly screaming, "Kelly! Kelly! Dammit, stop! It's not what you think." Shay was shouting at the back of Kelly's car, so far way now. Shay stormed back in her apartment and told Clarice to please leave. "Don't ever contact me again," she said, some of the hardest words she would ever speak. She shut the door on that part of her life and knew she had to find Kelly. She had to find him, NOW. Shay's heart was breaking thinking about the look on Kelly's face when he walked into their apartment. She had never seen that level of hurt on his face before, through injuries, a broken neck, depression...that look was different. It was the look of something hitting you out of the blue, sucker punching you with such force you're left without breath. He had the look of utter betrayal.
They had come so far, but it felt like their journey was just beginning. It couldn't end here, like this. Shay hadn't done anything wrong. Had she? The guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach answered. She had to find Kelly now. Shay picked up her phone and dialed Casey.
Kelly wiped at his face as he sped through the city looking for something, anything, nothing. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, Kelly kept thinking. I am the stupidest son of a bitch in the world! How can a lesbian suddenly not be a lesbian? I am so stupid. He saw a flashing neon sign "The Drunk Monkey." Perfect thought Kelly as he squealed into the parking lot. He zipped up his jacket getting out of his car and headed into the dive. One mission right now, one thought, get so drunk I forget what I just saw, I forget the pain in my chest, I forget Leslie Shay.
Casey and Shay investigated every possible place they could think where Kelly might head. "Where the hell is he?" asked Shay for the hundredth time. The guilt was growing and Shay didn't want one more minute to pass without telling Kelly, reminding Kelly how much she loves him. Shay pushed the thought of how Kelly must be feeling out of her brain. It was too much.
Casey didn't let Shay off the hook like she thought he would. He didn't say it was okay. He didn't say Kelly was overreacting. He didn't say she had done nothing wrong. When she told him what happened, he was silent for a minute then said, "We gotta find him."
Benny finally called Shay back, no word from Kelly. A trip to the boat he was fixing up shed equal results - nothing.
"Where the hell is he?" Shay's mantra was wearing thin.
Kelly made his way to the bar not seeing any of the other patrons, focused on one thing...getting drunk enough to bury his pain. If it were only that easy. Slamming tequila shots, one after another, he was a man not looking for any company. The women in the bar saw Kelly the moment he entered. He was not someone who could blend in with the furniture. The pissed off look on his face made him that much more irresistible.
"The next one is on me," said a beautiful young thing with the self confidence of someone who didn't get turned down for anything. Kelly didn't know it was a blonde beautiful young thing buying him a drink. It could have been his 75 year-old grandmother for all he knew. He was too far gone and too far drunk to notice who or what was buying him drinks.
"What's your name gorgeous and what's the mission to drink all the tequila on the planet in one night?" The blonde was shifting forward in her stool trying to get Kelly to notice her ample breasts. Kelly didn't even know there were breasts involved. He just drank and drank. And then he decided he had to pee.
He stumbled off his stool and walked to where he thought the bathroom might be. He made his way in and found his drink buyer following him. She came up behind him and unbuttoned his pants quickly. When Kelly felt a hand lingering too long he gained a little clarity.
"Whoa! What the hell! I just need to take a piss." Kelly had the thick tongued slur of someone trying to appear sober. The blonde laughed and tried to help Kelly zip his pants but his hands pushed hers away. He made it back to a stool close to where he was sitting and the blonde was again by his side. This time she didn't sit down but moved behind him draping her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek and blew hot breath lightly in his ear. Kelly pulled away almost falling off the stool. Can't I catch one break tonight?
Neither Kelly nor his overeager temptress saw her boyfriend enter the bar. Boyfriend may be overstating it. He was at least 15 years older than her and had the look on his face of someone who had seen this whole situation before, many times. He made his way to Kelly and looked at his girl's eyes seeing the expectant look of what are you going to do about this? More out of obligation than any outrage, the man hit Kelly square in the face. The jolt hurt but also felt good in a strange way. Kelly awoke from his stupor and began pummeling the unfortunate boyfriend. That felt good too. Kelly took more blows to the face and ribs then delivered more of his own. This back and forth went on and on. Finally, the boyfriend delivered a blow that let Kelly slip into unconsciousness, the first time that night that Kelly would be able to forget the name Leslie Shay.
Kelly felt the pounding in his head before he could even open his eyes. "Shit!" he moaned trying to open just one. He was rubbing his eyes vigorously trying to see something. Everything was a blur. Kelly blinked several times and then heard a deep male voice say, "Good morning sleeping beauty!" His eyes finally focused and Kelly could see the bars in front of him clearly now and just beyond the bars a police officer with a key heading in his direction.