A/N
Chapter 14 - Hold On
"Arghhhh," Lane groaned. Her first instinct was that this must be what it felt like to lose a fight with a train. Her head was pounding and there was a fiery pain that started at her back and radiated all the way through to her stomach.
"How ya feelin'?" Daryl eased up on the makeshift double bed. He'd slept fitfully, because he couldn't stop waking up every hour to make sure she was breathing ok.
"Feels a little like I got into a barfight ...and lost." Lane struggled to sit up and swing her legs around to dangle over the side, preparing to get out of bed.
"Are ya crazy? Whatya think yer doin'?" Daryl ran around, forcibly lifting her bare legs back up onto the bed.
"Um Daryl. I kind of need to get up. I think maybe you should go get Aunt Ethel or Aunt Miriam." Lane looked away in embarrassment and suddenly it dawned on him what she'd been trying to do. Without a word he bent over and gently slipped one arm under her knees and the other under her arms and picked her up. She never caught his eyeroll.
"I ain't hurtin' ya am I?" Daryl had tried to be gentle and not touch her injuries.
"No, I'm fine! But put me down. What are you doing?" Lane squealed in shock, not just because he picked her up but also because she was still stark naked.
"Ya gotta pee dontcha?" Daryl was so matter-of-fact about such bodily functions that it caught her off guard. He gently set her down on the toilet. It wasn't so bad since it was one of those big handicapped toilets with the high seat and support bars.
But Lane was still in some kind of shock as she sat there so totally exposed. 'I am sitting here buck naked trying to pee, in front of Daryl,' was all she could think about. 'This is SO Bad naked...and a million miles away from sexy naked,' she chided herself.
She looked up at him, eye brow raised, and waited for him to get a clue and leave her in privacy.
"What?" he finally asked when she still hadn't stopped staring at him.
"Go. I can't ...you know... 'tinkle' with you standing right there!" Lane accused, her voice sounding exasperated. She'd never had a real relationship before and her time with Daryl had been so short that intimate issues like this hadn't come up. They'd never even shared a toothbrush.
"Cain't. Ya ain't strong enough yet and ya might fall," he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.
"I swear to God Daryl! If you don't give me some privacy..." she didn't finish because she wasn't really sure what she would do. Or could do, for that matter.
"Please? Can you just try and find me a gown or something?" she pleaded with him, using her hands and arms to try and cover herself.
"If I do, ya better not try and get up!" he gave her the two fingered double point telling her he'd still be watching her.
She waited for him to leave and finally she was able to try and go. It didn't happen easily even though her bladder was painfully full. It was as if things 'down there' had gone numb. She vaguely recalled from her last hospital stay that some meds could do this. But eventually her body responded and she was able to empty her bladder.
She never knew that Daryl had stood just outside, waiting to make sure she was ok.
She swiftly finished her business and flushed which only served as a beacon for Daryl to return..
"You found one," she saw the pale green folded gown in his hands. They'd been piled up in a neat stack just outside the bathroom so he didn't have to look hard.
"Here, I'll help ya stand up," he gently lifted her up. She started to protest but her legs were shockingly weak and they betrayed her. She grabbed for the bar and steadied herself, but she couldn't look at him. This was not romantic at all. This was just horrible and embarrassing.
Daryl unfolded the gown and delicately slid it over her skin, slowly tying up the ties in the back. His fingers paused against her skin and he gingerly began to trace the two bruised welts adjacent to her gunshot wound. Once again, rage at the Governor threatened to overtake him and his fists clenched.
But he managed to maintain focus on her to keep himself grounded. He also noticed that she still kept her head downturned the entire time. It hadn't made sense to him at first but after her reaction over taking a piss it finally dawned on him that she was embarrassed. In front of him? It made sense?
"Hey?" he tilted her chin up so she couldn't look away from him. "It's just me," he wished he could come up with something more...something eloquent. But this was all that came out of his mouth.
"There's nothing ya can ever do that ya'd need to hide it from me," he told her, hoping he was making his point.
"But...," she cringed at what she knew she must look like. "I'm so gross. This isn't..." he didn't let her finish.
His mouth silenced hers as he softly slid his lips over hers. There was no demand or hunger now. It was simply gentleness and sweetness, at least that was the best way she could describe it. And before she knew how it happened he had once again carried her back to bed.
"Good Morning, you two," Ethel came bustling in with a tray that held enough for them both. "Sweetie, you look so much better! How are you feeling?"
Daryl knew he needed to check on the others so he took his breakfast with him and left Lane with her aunt. He also needed to gather his thoughts.
This morning, while technically not a big deal, had seemed to flip some sort of switch in his emotional circuits. Circuitry that had been turned off for decades.
"You seem better," Ethel settled next to her and actually tried to feed Lane.
"Aunt Ethel please?" she took the spoon from her aunt and slowly took a few bites of oatmeal.
"So are you and mister hunky blue eyes back together?" Ethel's eyes twinkled in anticipation at the prospect some juicy gossip.
"Oh, Auntie? I have no idea." Lane pushed the tray away and the tears flowed. "All I know is that I lost him and now he's back. Buy I was such a bitch to him! And I would do anything to take it back!"
"Sweetie if a man can't handle bitchy for at least a few days out of the month, then he should probably consider an alternative lifestyle like mine," Ethel giggled uncontrollably at her own joke.
Lane couldn't help but join in. It was one of the things she'd always loved about her aunt. Sometimes Ethel would start laughing so hard at her own joke she couldn't even finish and get to the punchline.
"Auntie! He carried me naked to the toilet. And just stood there. Like I could pee in front on HIM? Remember that Seinfeld episode about 'Bad Naked'? This was really bad naked!" Lane had the added benefit of bandaged gunshot wounds and welts.
"Sweetie? Now Daryl isn't one of them namby pamby boys. He probably had no idea why you were so freaked out. And just another tip. To a man, there is no such thing as Bad Naked," Ethel again got so tickled at her own joke.
"You know this how？" Lane taunted her aunt.
"You hush! Now you two have been robbed of all the time you were entitled to. You should have been allowed to date. Figure each other out. Your likes and dislikes. To fight and have a dozen or so stupid breakups followed by super hot makeup sex. He never got to hold your hair back after a night of drinking too much. And you never had the experience of caring for a grouchy man you love when he turns into a complete baby just because he has a cold. Everything is just so accelerated and heightened. Because everything is now life and death." Ethel lamented... She had her memories. But Lane would never have them.
"I really love you, you know?" Lane grabbed her oatmeal back and did her best to finish it. Her aunt had given her a lot to think about.
-/-/-/-
"Hey Bro! No wonder ya wanted to come back here. Those old lezzies sure can cook," Merle had already finished first's and was already helping himself to more of the crumble cake and coffee.
"The name's Miriam!" Miriam thumped Merle on the head and her glare told him she was this close to taking his crumble cake away.
"Miriam Hun? Ya sure I cain't get ya to switch teams?" Merle gave her his best leer, assuming he was being complimentary.
"Merle, I couldn't possibly deprive what's left of the female population of your charms," Miriam teased right back, which only earned a loud roar of laughter from the older Dixon. That was when Merle saw Daryl enter the common area.
"There's my Bro. How's yer woman?" Merle's words sounded crude but his voice was sincere.
"She's doin' pretty good," but Daryl really didn't want to deal with Merle with right now. He looked over but kept on walking, plopping down on the perch where he'd initially planned on sleeping before he become involved with Lane.
Now that the initial terror of watching Lane die had passed, Daryl was now left alone with deepest fears. Now that Merle was here, how long would she really want him. It was just a matter of time before Merle fucked everything up.
It was one thing to be forced to leave her. It was something else for her to kick him to the curb.
"So what's the plan?" Tyreese asked as he and Alan came out of their cells to sit with Merle and Daryl. In the past, the first words outta Merle's mouth would have been Nigger and Wet-Back. But Merle held his tongue. He didn't even need to see Daryl give him the warning glance.
Merle was one mistake from getting the boot, and Merle was under no illusions that Daryl would not be going with him. Not if he fucked up. So, in order to stay with his brother, he had to mind his tongue. He could never compete with Lane and all Daryl had built.
"Ain't no plan. I'ma head out and sneak in to Woodbury. Take out the Governor!" Merle spat in the corner. "Ya'll just gotta protect the prison."
"Now that the Governor made his first move he'd likely wait and watch while planning the next attack. He's pissed and won't stop 'til we're all dead. His little stunt with the van, that was just him ringing the doorbell. So we still need ta keep a person in every tower at all times." Merle told everyone between swallows of cake and coffee.
But then Glenn, Michonne and Maggie entered the common area, and the room went silent.
"So we're taking orders from Merle now?" Glenn's voice was dripping with such hatred and disgust, he could barely sound civil.
"Why ain't he in a cell?" Maggie had also suffered at Merle's hands, just not as directly.
Daryl set his bowl down and joined the fray, prepared to defend his brother.
"He's here to help us. He knows what the Governor is capable of and is our best chance of winning. We all gotta do what we gotta," Daryl stepped in to face Glenn and Maggie. But Tyreese and Alan were completely bewildered by all the undercurrents.
"Why don't ya'll go on and take yer spots," Daryl ordered, which was the precise moment Lane came hobbling in with the aid of Ethel.
Daryl felt the air whoosh out of his lungs as if he'd been sucker punched. He immediately ran over to pick her up and carry her and set her in a chair before she could even protest.
He expected her to yell at him, but instead she held on to his neck, kissing his cheek as he let her go.
"Everyone, please? Just stop. There's an awful lot of hurt, blame and pain to go around in just this small room," Lane began. Hershel, Carl, and Beth who carried Judith also joined the group pow wow.
"Merle! We have to be able to trust you not to harm our people? I know you harbor ill will at the loss of your hand," Lane's eyes bored into Merle's. She wasn't sure if it was all the attention or that she surprised him, but Merle had never been so vulnerable.
"I don't have a beef with any of ya'll. I just wanted to find Daryl and I had no idea what kind of folks ya'll were any more. In case y'aint noticed? This world changes folks. I didn't know of ya were holding him against his will? But once I brought ya back, the Governor took over. He was nuts about Andrea not finding ya'll. It's why he sent a team to kill you," Merle looked at Michonne.
"Hey, I know I ain't ever gonna be a good man. I never was. But Daryl is. And I ain't gonna screw this up fer him," Merle actually said something they could all believe. Or at least, want to believe.
"Thank you Merle. Now, unless you give us a reason to believe otherwise, I would like to ask that we all support each other. Merle? This is your redemption. Don't screw it up," Lane made sure to look, not only at Merle but Maggie and Glenn.
"You don't have to like each other. But if we want to do more than survive, and actually build something here we're gonna need more people. Which also means taking a leap of faith every so often. And we can't ignore that most people are basically good, and want what the same things we do," Lane finally finished, giving a glance of apology to Tyreese.
She looked back at Maggie and Glenn, praying they would both jump on board her crazy peace train. Glenn's eyes were still haunted by what Merle had done to him. But more so, what he'd allowed the Governor to do to Maggie. But as Daryl and Lane reminded him, if they hadn't left Merle on that rooftop...
What if, What if, What if? But they were here now and 'what if's' couldn't change a damn thing. In spite of all that, Glenn finally nodded to Lane that he would try.
"I thank you all for at least agreeing to try," Lane encouraged. The others went to their assignments ans so she spent the rest of the afternoon with Beth and caring for Judith.
-/-/-
Everyone took their positions, and they came up with a 24/7 rotation schedule. All hands were on deck including Ethel, Miriam, Beth and Carl. The only ones not participating were Lane, Rick, Hershel and of course, Judith. Lane bitched, knowing she was completely capable of sitting in a tower for a few hours but with Daryl in charge her complaints fell on deaf ears.
Merle finally relieved Daryl after his eight hour stint in the tower. Shifts were solitary and long, but it was the only way they could maintain full coverage from each tower. If just one tower were taken by the enemy it could be catastrophic.
He quietly opened the door to the infirmary, and stepped inside. He told himself he was just checking on Lane, but he could have just as easily asked Hershel or Ethel if that's all he really wanted.
"What in the hell are ya doin'!" Daryl felt a rush of emotion as he walked in and caught Lane once again trying to get out of bed.
"Oh Hi," she smiled at him, completely ignoring his angry tone.
"Don't 'Oh Hi' me!" he stormed forward and carried her.
"Where to? The john?" he asked her.
"No. I already went. I just needed a shower," she traced her finger along his neck. She was trying to implement some of Ethel's words of wisdom, hoping it panned out.
"No way! It's too soon," Daryl carried her and headed back to the bed.
"No, it's not. Hershel said so. In fact he said it'd actually be good for me to move around and to run warm water over the steristrips." Lane leaned up to whisper huskily in his ear.
"Ya ain't lyin'?" Daryl paused a moment. Her look of exasperation told him he should reconsider. She shook her head, which he took as affirmation.
Lane smiled into Daryl's neck as he carried her back into the bathroom.
Daryl reached over to turn on the water then started to leave.
"Um Daryl? Were you gonna leave me?" Lane called him back innocently. She turned around and lifted up her hair, silently asking for help in untying her gown. Rather than grab for the gown after he untied it, she just let it fall to the ground. The heavy bandages were removed yesterday and that only left a few stitches and the steristrips...and the purplish-green welts.
She stepped under the warm water Daryl had started and let the warm rivulets run over her aroused breasts and down her stomach. After talking with Ethel, she began thinking on the importance of fantasy and the tease.
"I'm not sure I have my sea legs. Can ya stand there while I finish?" she tilted her head back and let the water stream over her back, down her hair and over her face.
Daryl was finding it hard to swallow and Lane couldn't help but peak at him from the corner of her eye. Was this cockamamie plan working? She instinctively knew sex couldn't solve every problem, but it could perhaps soften some rough edges
Lane poured some shampoo into her hands then lathered up her hair. When she was sure he was looking she clinched in pain and fell forward. 'I am so going to hell for this,' she silently berated herself.
"Daryl? Could you help?" Lane grabbed his hands, transferring the suds.
Looking at Lane, completely naked and soapy was making it really hard to think straight. With a thick swallow, he agreed and grabbed the shampoo, reaching in to finish shampooing her hair.
Lane's legs were now legitimately becoming woozy and it had nothing to do with her gunshot wound. She couldn't help but lean back against him, but she lost her balance and grabbed for him, pulling him underneath and getting Daryl completely soaked.
"Oh dear," Lane's voice lacked an ounce of sincerity. Trying to channel Marilyn Monroe, she did her best by trailing her forefinger provocatively down his chest, flicking open any offending buttons.
"I think you should consider taking this off," Lane turned and slid his flannel shirt down over his shoulders.
"And these," her fingers deftly flicked his trousers open and she started sliding them down his hips. "Wouldn't want 'em to get soaked," her voice was throaty and sexy.
"Lane?" his voice was grumbly as he wondered what kind of game she was playing. There was no way they could do what he wanted?
"I just need a little help. And it's not like you haven't seen me naked before? And there's no reason for you to get your clothes all wet too," Lane purred into his ear, sounding completely reasonable.
He felt like he was under some sort of spell. He stood motionless while she slid he pants down his hips. He kicked off his boots and stepped into the shower with her, just in his boxers which were quickly soaked.
Lane spun around, her wet breasts sliding up against his chest. "Here," she grabbed his hands and squirted more shampoo into his hands.
Without waiting, she spun around and rested her back against his chest. He raised his hands and he started shampooing her hair, the smell of coconuts and awapahui immediately permeating the small bathroom.
As he lathered her hair she leaned her ass against his erection which was pressed hard against her ass. As he moved his hands, she began to mimic his motions by rubbing herself against him. As he moved faster, so did she.
"Lane..." his voice was a mumbled croak of warning in her ear.
"Daryl?" she responded innocently and just leaned her head further back, her soapy hair falling against his shoulder.
"What are ya doin'?" he needed to be shot to put him out of his misery.
"I'm just showering...figured I was better off asking you for help than say Merle or Tyreese," she answered saucily, turning her neck to peek at him. "Seeing how you've already seen me naked."
"Gerl...this ain't no game," his soapy hands gripped her hips then moved possessively to her waist. His face looked angry and tortured. He seemed to be tolerating her, not wanting her.
It wasn't working. Lane took a deep breath to gather her emotions and accept her colossal failure. He was still keeping a safe, watchful distance but likely only to make sure she didn't slip and fall. What had she been thinking? She was just embarrassing herself ...and probably Daryl.
She was not a seductress and never would be. She was just a pathetic geeky, chubby nerd prone to panic attacks. It was beyond foolish of her to have even tried. She pulled away to gather the strength for what she needed to do.
Daryl felt her shrink away in his arms and watch how she tried to cover herself and couldn't fathom what was wrong. But he'd obviously fucked up somehow.
"I'm sorry, yer right." Lane stepped away from him. "I'll be fine here on my own. I won't be a sec," Lane pulled away from him, stepping into the shower spray to rinse away her tears.
Daryl stood there, completely bewildered by what had just happened. She'd gone from teasing him up into a frenzy where he couldn't think straight ...then to completely withdrawing from him.
But she refused to look at him, to the point that she was actually starting to rinse her hair face first.
"Daryl! Go on, you don't have to wait for me," she muttered under the stream of water running down her face.
"Stop it. Whatever yer thinkin' or is goin' on in yer head? Just stop," Daryl tried to be gentle but he couldn't just walk away. He stepped forward in frustration and pulled her wet hair back. He spun her around and lifted her up, pinning her back up against the shower wall, remaining mindful of her injuries.
"Fine. I'm sorry. Please put me down and I'll go...leave you be," Lane felt utterly humiliated by her prior actions and was in no way prepared to talk about it. Least of all with him.
"And what makes you think I want you to go anywhere?" Daryl stroked her thighs, his erection pulsing against her.
"But?" Lane looked at him, her green eyes full of confusion. "Daryl I'm so confused. I thought...or I thought you didn't..." Lane babbled, completely sure she was making no sense.
Daryl's glacial blue eyes stared straight into her green ones, both of them looking for answers.
"I understand why you and Merle had to leave us," she collapsed into his neck. "And we all appreciate you coming back to help us deal with Woodbury, but you don't need to babysit me," Lane could only figure Daryl's reticence was because he was planning on leaving them again, once the immediate danger passed. He probably just didn't want her to get more attached than she already was.
"Shut up Lane," Daryl wrapped her up in a towel and scooped her up and carried her to the infirmary bed. Hershel had left her pain meds in a bottle on the counter and, without asking, he tapped two out and placed them in her mouth, handing her some water and waited for her wash them down. She dutifully swallowed, but immediately panicked at being so naked and vulnerable.
"Daryl! My clothes, Please!" she protested, completely naked on the bed with nothing but the small towel. She expected him to hand her the night clothes that were sitting right on the counter. Instead he pulled the towel away from her.
"Daryl!" her eyes widened. She was so exposed and so vulnerable.
"Beautiful!" he silently observed. He trailed his eyes and fingers over her body. She tried to prop herself up but Daryl gently laid her back down.
She was so perfect. The angry gunshot wound and bandages only reinforced his anger and commitment to making the Governor pay. And the way she shuddered at his every touch only excited him more. But that couldn't happen. Not yet. She still had to heal.
He knew he had to leave her soon, or he was afraid he wouldn't care and end up sleeping with her...and hurting her.
She felt the exact moment he pulled away, though. He seemed enchanted by her body for a while...until he came across the ugly wound that marred her stomach. She couldn't bear his rejection...or disgust. It would be even worse if he forced himself to stay. She had to give him a way out.
"Thanks for your help...Really! We all appreciate what you've done and everything." Lane complimented, asif she was somehow detached from everything.
"I'm really kind of tired so would you mind just turning off the lights on your way out," Lane grabbed back her bath towel back and held it to her a little tighter as if it were a source of strength.
Lane froze as still as a statue while she waited for Daryl to leave the infirmary. She also refused to look up so she couldn't really tell what he was doing. His footsteps rustled around the room, and she figured he was just looking for the rest of his damp clothing.
Daryl still couldn't figure out why she kept pulling away from him. Surely she must know that he'd never wanted to leave her. And after that shower, he was so horny he was barely able to put two coherent thoughts together. But maybe she thought he didn't want her. Shit! Try and do the nobel thing and this happens?
"Gerl...", he began. But Lane immediately started to protest and interrupt.
"Stop it!" Daryl snapped, his hands pinning her wrists over her head. "Its my turn ta talk, so listen up. I told ya I don't have fancy words er anythin'. So I figure I have to tell ya straight up, the only way I know," Daryl released her hands and held her face delicately in his hands.
"I ain't leavin' ya again! No matter what Merle does or doesn't do," Lane's heart suddenly began to pound out of her chest. "And y'ain't pushin' me away either. Yea, I care about the others, but I came back for ya" his blue eyes flashed. He stepped away from her but only to push the other bed flush with hers, just like the previous night.
"Daryl?" she still had no idea what was happening. Daryl decided to flick off the overhead lights, and used his Bic to light the emergency candles that were kept in each infirmary room.
"Yes Lane?" he replied with a mocking cockiness.
"But?" she started to try and make sense of things but Daryl captured her lips with his own. He settled above her as delicately as possible.
"Cause it ain't like yer sayin', I want ya so bad it's hard ta even think straight," Daryl grabbed her hand and placed it on his erection, so she could feel exactly how much. "It's just too soon and I ain't gonna hurt ya just cause I need ta be inside ya!"
"So...it wasn't because you and Merle are planning on leaving again?" Lane asked, feeling a glimmer of hope flare. Daryl just shook his head no.
"And this is just about you being worried about me being shot?" Lane was so tired of trying to read between the lines. She had to just ask him.
Daryl nodded yes.
"It doesn't hurt. And Hershel just said my only limitation was to not to lift anything more than 20-lbs. I don't know exactly what you had mind, but unless it's something crazy I'm hoping we can still work within Hershel's guidelines," Lane traced his stubbly jaw with her fingers...then with her lips.
"But..." Daryl started to protest but Lane softly kissed him over and over while she kept stroking his face, then his chest...then his stomach.
"But..?" Lane teased him, emboldened by the clearing of the air and his obvious reaction to her.
"Ya sure?" he felt himself beginning to cave, and started to find more and more validity with her explanations.
"Never more so," she pulled him on top of her, spreading her legs eagerly to accept him. And Daryl had never felt so loved...or intent on loving.
-/-/-
"Already?" Lane moaned when Daryl began to stir at the annoying beeping of the alarm. Daryl forced himself up and out of Lane's arms and snapped on his pants, only then sitting back down to put on his boots.
He stood up and grabbed her bottle of pain pills and tapped out two in his hand. He realized he like the routine of this...doing the small things to take care of her.
"No. I don't need them," she refused, preferring to pull him back to their makeshift bed.
"Ya do. It's barely been more'n a day," he persisted, but not immune to her eagerness. He still had to hold firm. He remembered just how badly his own arrow wound had hurt. A gunshot was worse. But the memories of last night made coherent thought disappear.
"Compromise?" she picked up one of the tablets from his hand and placed it dutifully in her mouth.
"Ok!" Daryl agreed, pleased to be actually working shit out rather than fighting or worse, struggling through misunderstanding.
"Do you think there'll ever be a time when we can just lollygag? Be semi-normal. I know things won't ever be like they were before, but maybe we can build something more?" Lane frowned as she spoke aloud, more a musing than a question.
"I dunno. Don't have time to really think about it, do we?" Daryl admitted, but the look on her face told him there was more to the question than this.
"Why ya askin'?" Daryl had never slept (sleep meaning actual sleep and not sex) the entire night with anyone. He still didn't know what he should do, but found he actually wanted to try and learn...with Lane.
"It's just that it seems we're figuring things out as we go along, but under life or death scenarios. Aunt Ethel says we were cheated. Cheated of our time to date, to fight, then make up," Lane relayed the rest of her conversation with her aunt.
"Cheated? I feel a lot a things right now. But right now, it ain't cheated," Daryl sat beside her and traced a wisp of hair behind her ear.
"I do like the part about you takin' care of me...and the makeup sex," Daryl was embarrassed but found the more he was with Lane the less self-conscious he felt. He'd never felt so comfortable with anyone else ...other than Merle before.
"'Cept you'da never dated me," Daryl didn't like to think about how different he and Lane really were.
"Yes I would. You'd have just never asked me! You'da made your assumptions about who I was! Who I needed or deserved, just like everyone else?" she shoved his shoulder, holding back how important his assumptions about her were.
"Yea Right," he snorted sarcastically. "Like I'd have ever taken ya to the Bucket"
"I think I'd have really liked the Bucket," her smile was genuine but he couldn't quite believe she was serious. "I'd walk in with you in my slinkiest outfit, kiss your neck while you ordered us drinks and make all the other girls insanely jealous," she described.
"S'ppose if that happened I'da driven ya home and held yer hair back while ya puked," Daryl confirmed Ethel's scenario.
"Maybe we can still make that happen someday," her eyes danced.
"I'm already starting to look forward to our next fight," Daryl teased.
"You are so bad," her eyes gleamed, though she tried to pretend to be angry.
"I am! Does that make you angry?" Daryl found he was starting to like this playful teasing. "Can we make up after my shift?"
"You're really gonna use Aunt Ethel's sage advice just to get laid?" Lane teased him.
"Ya even gotta ask?" Daryl eyed twinkled and he smiled then leaned down to kiss her goodbye.
"You know you never needed a reason, which is why your so cocky now," she returned his kiss. She loved the stance of his shoulders and the confident way he walked, even if it was to leave her.
"Ya better come back to me," she warned him, hoping he didn't notice she'd shoved the pill he'd given her under her tongue and never swallowed.
Daryl waved goodbye and also knew she'd tongued the pill, but it only made him love her more. He'd watched by helplessly as so many people he cared about came to love and depend on the escape that pills and alcohol provided.
-/-/-
Lane laid in her bed until she could stand it no longer. She knew Daryl was on watch and she couldn't visit him and her aunts were equally busy. But she'd finally had enough solitude. She hobbled out of bed and made her way down to the main cell block, more confident since she knew Daryl wouldn't be around to yell at her.
She had just made her way into the common room when the room exploded with activity, largely revolving around the arrival of the petite woman with wavy blonde hair.
"Why are you all acting like this?" The woman protested as she lurched to embrace Glenn. Lane watched as Glenn struggled to embrace her.
"In a word, I'd guess it was because of you're boyfriend," Lane spoke up from the top of the stairs as she stared at everyone below.
"You just sat by and watched as he pit brother against brother? Friend against friend? In your gut you know it was off, did'nt you?" Lane slowly descended the stairwell to face Andrea, whom she hadn't seen since Woodbury.
"Who the fuck are you? Passing judgment on me?" Andrea backed up and snarled.
"Yeah? This tells me different," Lane raised her shirt and turned around. Andrea couldn't ignore the ugly welts and angry gunshot hole.
"Your boyfriend delivered quite the 'welcome to the neighborhood gift'." Lane accused. "I'd have preferred the fruit basket."
"He also slaughtered the National Guardsmen, but Michonne told us he told the town they'd been slaughtered by walkers." Lane slowly descended the stairs and walked across the prison floor to face Andrea.
"So we all have to ask, what are you REALLY doing here?" Lane was now face to face with the woman that was sleeping with their enemy. Daryl frowned at Lane when he caught up with them, but kept his crossbow focused on Andrea. It didn't feel right, but his instincts kicked in.
Lane walked to him and pushed Daryl's crossbow down and motioned for the others to avert their weapons as well. But the look between Andrea and Michonne was the most disarming of all
"You're asking me? I have no idea who you are? I'm the one who stood by these people in Atlanta, saved Carol at the farm, ran for my life because my so-called 'family' left me," Andrea's voiced dripped with sarcasm as she exaggerated with air quotes.
"Yeah, well some people are content to sleep in the nearest comfy bed. These people, each and every one are now my family. Which means I'd die to protect them all! Do you feel the same?" Lane growled and to Daryl's surprise it was Merle that stepped up behind Lane, his imposing presence leaving no doubt whose side he was on.
"I didn't know. But you have to believe me. I'd have done something if I had the chance," Andrea pleaded. They all stood at impasse while Tyreese and his folks had no idea what was happening. But finally, Carol was the one to break the awkward tension. She walked in carrying Judith and showed her to Andrea.
"Meet Lil Ass Kicker," Carol passed the infant girl into Andrea's eager arms. They all watched Andrea coo and awhhh over the baby.
"Let me guess? Daryl's name for her?" Andrea smiled over at Daryl. Lane adjusted her stance, responding to both Daryl and Merle's reactions. Lane realized she had to accept that these people had a history with Andrea...and that she mattered to them. And how would she feel after being left behind?
"Her formal name is Judith," Carol corrected. Andrea couldn't help but go gaga over the baby even as she absorbed the loss of Lori, Shane and T-Dogg.
"And Rick?" Andrea asked, noticing his earlier absence.
"What about me?" Rick came walking out, Hershel, Ethel and Miriam following closely behind. Even Lane was shocked at Rick's timely presence.
"You're ok?" Andrea's eye's lit up, but soon became shrouded in worry. Gone was the kind, valiant man she'd come to depend on at the farm. Rick's eyes were cold and dark.
"I'm fine, no thanks to...yer boyfried. Phillip is it?" Rick's voice was sarcastic as he approached Andrea.
"I told you, I didn't know," Andrea pleaded with them all to understand.
"You didn't want to know," Michonne accused as she'd had enough of Andrea's protestations of innocence. Or rather selective ignorance. Michonne stepped forward, eyes ablaze with so many fiery emotions.
"It was right in front of you, but you didn't want to see how evil he is. All you had to do was believe me, or Merle, or anyone," Michonne's hurt at her friend's betrayal was palpable.
"I did ask Merle! Tell them," Andrea looked to Merle.
"I just told ya the truth Blondie. Ya chose ta hear what ya wanted to hear. But ask yerself. Why'dya even ask me in the first place? If ya didn't already suspect? Ya never had ta ask anyone about Rick did ya?" Merle was guessing, but the look in Andrea's eyes told him he was absolutely right. And Andrea felt the guilt cut like razor wire into her.
"Maybe you're right! I did want to believe! And I still do!" Andrea cried out. "Woodbury has some really good people! A school for the kids! A hospital! They just want what we all want. A life! Their only sin was that in exchange for security they turned a blind eye," Andrea conceded to the group.
"And I turned a blind eye," Andrea finally admitted and broke down, collapsing in a heap. Lane was moved by Andrea's admission and tearful acceptance. And Carol reached for Andrea, passing the baby to Michonne. Carol escorted Andrea off to compose herself while the others looked on in wonder. What would she do?
-:/-/-/
"What should we do?" Maggie slumped down on the nearest chair after Andrea left, Glenn massaging her tense shoulders.
"We send her back," Rick answered coldly."It's that simple."
"What? She said the town's people are gearing up for war. If we send her back without a plan, she could tell the Governor about our setup...and how many of us there are...or more importantly, aren't " Lane had no wish for a massacre, on either group.
"Look around you' If we have a war, best chance is half of us survive. Who are we willing to lose?" Lane asked. "Because I think any loss is unacceptable!"
"Is there any possibility for peace. Can we maybe get a message to the people of the town? Let them know we only want to live as peaceful neighbors," Lane suggested. "Grow food to trade with them?"
"Well it ain't like we can send out one of dem 'Tweets', Gerlie!" Merle snarled. But Lane thought a moment then spun around and hugged him, Merle being the one to cringe and pull away in shock.
"Hey Baby Girl, yer awful hot but yer my brother's," Merle tried to leer at her, but it was so pitiful nobody took it seriously. Merle set her in front of him as gallantly as possibly.
"Remember how during World War Two the allies dropped leaflets on towns before they were coming? We could maybe make some similar leaflets. Plaster them around town. Maybe even start broadcasting our message of peace, like Radio Free Europe," Lane's eyes danced with excitement.
"Radio Free Walker?" Rick's eyes seemed clear as he too joined in. Even Tyreese and the others laughed along.
"Do we even have the equipment?" Hershel didn't want to rain on the excitement but couldn't let them waste time either.
"I think we might. I was an electrician and there's a lot here!" Alan spoke up and joined in.
"And the leaflets?" Rick asked Lane.
"Saw a printer in one of the offices. We can plug it into the infirmary or the RV and I have my laptop," Lane was already planning the content.
"And how are we going to get the leaflets into Woodbury?" Maggie asked, tired of just standing by.
"S'ppose we got two options. We either sneak them in...or have Andrea do it?" Merle's implication was plain. He wanted to send Andrea back.
"I don't know. The Governor's not a dumb man. Can we really expect he'll just welcome Andrea back, knowing full well we'll tell her everything that he's done. I don't feel good about sending her back into a death trap," Lane admitted. She felt Daryl push Merle aside so he could stand behind her, placing his hands possessively on her waist.
"Lanie Gerl? Ya have no idea what pussy can do ta a man's brain. If anyone can turn the Guv's brain ta mush it's blondie," Merle tried to sound crude, but there was something more. Something Merle was holding back.
"It feels wrong. We won't be able to help her if things don't go right," Lane worried. She was conflicted about Andrea, but she obviously cared about these people and they cared about her.
"It's not your call. I'm going back," Andrea had heard the last of the conversation. She'd also had an earful of advice from Carol and Michonne. Andrea realized she had only two choices. Stay and fight or go back to Woodbury and try to prevent a war, where no matter who won, people she loved would die. So she had to stop it.
"Can ya get us in?" Rick asked, his face murderous. "Let us just take care of it!"
"No! There are innocent people there! Good people! Tell him Merle! " Andrea pleaded but Merle turned his back.
"Women! Children! Old people! What about Mariel, Merle? She's been asking about you and left alone defending you. What should I tell her when I get back?" Andrea's eyes bored into Merle's.
"She's better off without me," Merle muttered and stomped away.
"That's rich! She'll just love hearing that. But Steve will be thrilled you're out of the picture" Andrea huffed and stomped away.
Daryl stared at his brother and could tell he was not unaffected by Andrea's words...or this Mariel.
"Lane, how fast can you get something together?" Rick asked, suddenly anxious.
"Half hour, more if there are issues," Lane answered honestly.
"Ok. We'll get you a car Andrea, so you can get back. I'd also like to have a warning signal or a way to communicate with you...in case you need help," Rick's icy demeanor was beginning to melt and the old Rick was starting to emerge. He asked Alan to try and devise something before Andrea left.
-/-/-/-
"You think she can do it?" Lane leaned her back against Daryl's chest as they watched Andrea drive away.
"Dunno. She thinks she can, so I s'ppose we should give her a chance," Daryl muttered softly. They stood there in silence until Lane turned and looked into his eyes.
"I'm not even sure what we're asking of her? Michonne overheard Carol tell Andrea to sleep with the Governor. Basically rock his world, and when he's asleep end it," Lane finished, still shocked it was Carol's advice.
"Is Merle right? Could this work?" Lane tilted her neck. Lane never used her sexuality, always having to rely on her intelligence. But great men throughout history had fallen because of a woman.
"Ya really don't know do ya?" Daryl stared incredulously at Lane. "A guy will do anything if he's hooked."
"You don't like that do you? It scares you?" Lane realized this was a big fear of Daryl's.
"I s'ppose so?" Daryl mumbled. "Bein' whipped wasn't somethin' to be proud of. In my house it was the man that did the whippin',"
"How about this? No whippin'! On either side!" Lane stroked his strong forearms and kissed his neck.
"I think that'll work," Daryl admitted, but knowing he was already in too deep to protest very much.
"So? Did you ask Merle about this Mariel?" her eyes teased then she playfully hipchecked him.
"Naw," Daryl laughed, buoyed by their improving camaraderie.
"Are you going to?" Lane found it endearing how uncomfortable Daryl was about discussing his brother's love life.
"Nope," he pulled her a little tighter.
"You have to. What if she's his soul mate?" Lane reached her hands up to his chest.
"My brother's had thousands of soul mates. Cain't imagine this one's any different," Daryl explained.
"Come on. I was hoping we could find something better to do than discuss Merle's love life," Daryl pulled her back inside.
Neither of them were aware of Merle's presence around the corner. Nor had they caught the look in Merle's eyes at the mention of Mariel.
-:/-/-/-/
They all gathered in the darkness of the cell later that night. Four were on watch, but for the first time nobody was in the infirmary. Rick held Judith and walked over to join Hershel and Daryl.
Beth had convinced Lane to join in and play her guitar, under the promise that Beth would sing lead. But the lilting melody became too much, and Lane joined in as if on autopilot.
They hung a sign up in our town
"if you live it up, you won't
live it down"
So, she left Monte Rio, son
Just like a bullet leaves a gun
With charcoal eyes and Monroe hips
She went and took that California trip
Well, the moon was gold, her Hair like wind
She said don't look back now just
Come on Jim
Oh you got to
Hold on, Hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand,
I'm standing right here
You gotta hold on
Well, he gave her a dimestore watch
And a ring made from a spoon
Everyone is looking for someone to blame
But you share my bed, you share my name
Well, go ahead and call the cops
You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops
She said baby, I still love you
Sometimes there's nothin left to do
Oh you got to
Hold on, hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand, I'm standing right here, you got to
Just hold on.
Well, God bless your crooked little heart St. Louis got the best of me
I miss your broken-china voice
How I wish you were still here with me
Well, you build it up, you wreck it down
You burn your mansion to the ground
When there's nothing left to keep you here, when
You're falling behind in this
Big blue world
Oh you go to
Hold on, hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand, I'm standing right here
You got to hold on
Down by the Riverside motel,
It's 10 below and falling
By a 99 cent store she closed her eyes
And started swaying
But it's so hard to dance that way
When it's cold and there's no music
Well your old hometown is so far away
But, inside your head there's a record
That's playing, a song called
Hold on, hold on
You really got to hold on
Take my hand, I'm standing right here
And just hold on.
"Some reunion with Andrea huh?" Daryl snarked as Rick approached, carrying Judit while he enjoyed the way Lane relaxed and sang in the candlelight.
"She's in a jamb," Rick sounding surprisingly empathetic.
"We all are. But Andrea's persuasive," Hershel tried to sound optimistic. "But this fella is armed to the teeth and bent on destruction."
Daryl had cared about the group before, but now with Lane he really 'felt' what is was like to have no choice. He would do whatever it took. Whatever...
it took to keep her safe.
"So? Whatdya wanna do?" Daryl asked. His 'brother' Rick had been gone since Lori'd died, and he'd forgotten how good it felt to have him there.
"We match it! We already got weapons. But Merle's right. He can starve us out. We need the resources so that we deprive him of options," Rick sounded like himself again. "So we can take action!"
"I'm gonna go on a run," Rick told them as he continued to rock Judith.
"Ok, what time we leavin'!" Daryl just assumed he'd be going.
"No! I need you here. And to keep an eye on your brother. If he fucks up, its on you. " Rick warned.
"I got it," Daryl swore, and Rick believed him.
I'll take Michonne with me?" Rick hated the look of betrayal and disappointment on Daryl's face.
"Ya sure ya can trust her?" Daryl still didn't like this plan. He always felt better when he was covering Rick's back.
"I s'ppose I'll find out. I'll take Carl too. He's ready," Rick admitted, though it cut like a knife to do so. But it was the truth and he needed some time with his son. He'd lrt Carl down and needed to make it up to him.
"I'm glad your back Daryl," Rick's eyes told Daryl everything he'd never heard from Merle. Hershel walked away to join Beth and Lane so Rick and Daryl could finish their talk.
"Glad yer back too," Daryl muttered.
"I hate to do this, but there's nobody I trust more. If anything happens, I know this isn't fair, but would you take care of Judith?" Rick's voice quivered.
"Of course, brother," Daryl had never felt so honored...and so ill-equipped.
"I never had a brother like you did...but Daryl? If I had, I could only hope he'd be half the man you are," Rick slapped an arm around Daryl's shoulder.
"Will ya hold things down here?" Rick asked.
"Ya got it," Daryl promised. And they all lost themselves in the melody of the song.
Lane could tell something big was happening, but it was the way Daryl's eyes shone and sought hers while she played and sang. He was full of confidence and hunger...and more. But he'd tell her when he was ready.
With a nod, she kept up her guitar and continued singing with Beth.
And all any of them could think of was they all just had to hold on, just hold on. Just hold on.