Merlin

The aftermath of the 'what-the-hell-was-I-thinking' incident, as Merlin had named it, proved to be horribly awkward. Elena began glancing at him suspiciously at school, as if she knew something was up. Arthur avoided him completely and would not even look at him in class. And every single time Merlin looked at Gwen, he felt a stab of guilt pierce through his stomach.

How could he have done that? Betray her like that? After she had shown such kindness when he had just arrived. He honestly contemplated telling her everything about Arthur, but there was a high chance that she simply would not believe because her love for Arthur would blind her from seeing the obvious.

Two months flew past like they were nothing, Merlin fit comfortably into his new life. He called Hunith whenever he could, he texted Will and occasionally went out for a coffee with Gwaine or a movie/dinner with the others. He also studied like crazy for all his tests, in order to maintain his score average, which was very high.

Half-term was fast approaching, and all he had planned to do was to relax at home, have a huge telly marathon and read, and visit Ealdor, of course. He missed his Mum terribly.

It was finally the last day before break. He was pulling out his English books when Gwen bounced cheerfully towards him, her loose curls flying behind her.

"Merlin, come to London with me tomorrow!" Gwen exclaimed. "And then we'll have a sleep over afterwards?"

"Erm," Merlin started. "I'm not sure; I'll try to ask Gaius."

The truth was that he could most likely go but he wanted to avoid Gwen.

"Oh," Gwen replied, crestfallen. "Is it me? Have I done something wrong- you've seemed distant over the past couple of weeks?"

"Oh no, not at all, it's just I've had a lot of homework." Merlin said lamely. "But I really hope I can come!"

"So do I," Gwen said excitedly. "I've been saving up for ages, and I so badly want to go shopping."

Merlin smiled at her sincerely as she pulled him into a hug.

Arthur

Morgana was still pissed at him. It had been past a month and she didn't even told him why, it was as if she was expecting him to come up to her and explain something.

He rolled his eyes at his sister's retreating figure after the row that they just had and tossed his school bag on the couch. School was over for a week but the funny thing was he felt no form of excitement whatsoever about that fact.

It was strange. He just felt, bored, and empty and all his thoughts were clouded with Merlin.

He decided to go for a jog to clear his head.

After Arthur had dressed in shorts and a comfy grey sweatshirt, he left the house and began running at a slow pace, a bottle of water in his right hand and his iPod jiggling around in his pocket. He shoved the headphones in his ear and started moving faster.

He jogged past the park near his house, down the esplanade and down the main road. It was calming, peaceful and the sudden rush of endorphins felt good.

He tried to push Merlin out of his head. But he just couldn't. Not after what had happened at the party. He had convinced himself that it was a mistake, and that he had kicked him out of that bathroom that night because Elena would get suspicious and Gwen could find out. Certainly not because he actually had feelings for Merlin that he had never felt for anyone else, and he was scared of letting himself express them. No, certainly not.

He began making his way up near the shopping centre and paused to take a breath, just when a person collided into his back painfully, in the flash of the moment Arthur spun around and grabbed them, before they could fall down. Papers fluttered down on the pavement and several books fell onto his feet.

His grip slackened on the figure once he realized who it was. Of course it was Merlin. Of course he'd be clumsy enough to do something like this. He let go of the other boy and glared at him. And proceeded to pick up the heavy books lying on the ground.

He dumped them in Merlin's hands and started walking the other direction.

"Well," Merlin called out. "Aren't you going to talk to me?"

"About what?" Arthur fumed, still not turning around.

"About what happened?" Merlin asked.

"I don't particularly want to. Now, I'm going off jogging now, like I was before you interrupted me." Arthur expressed angrily.

Merlin jogged up to him, carrying the massive pile of books and staring at him with those bright blue eyes.

"Oi, listen to me, you overgrown childish PRAT," Merlin barked. "Don't you think you at least owe me an explanation?"

"I have to go." Arthur replied.

Merlin touched his shoulder.

"Arthur," Merlin said quietly.

"Fine!" Arthur exploded. "Fine! We'll talk!"

Merlin

Merlin settled down on the park bench near Arthur, resting his library books next to him. They were silent for a few moments, glancing at the children playing football, parents alongside them. He turned to look at Arthur's face, which had fallen, as if a wave of nostalgia had suddenly hit him. He knew Arthur was attempting a poker face, but he could see an immense amount of sadness in his eyes.

"We drank. We hooked up. I stopped it before it could go any further, Merlin," Arthur said.

"Good." Merlin replied. "I'm glad it stopped."

"So what's more to say?" Arthur asked.

"Nothing, I just, you confuse me." Merlin began. "Why do you cheat on Gwen?"

"Now, that is none of your concern." Arthur said.

"I know. I just, you confuse me, and I've never met someone like you." Merlin confessed.

Arthur laughed bitterly.

"Trust me, Merlin," Arthur said. "You don't want to know someone like me."

"Do you regret it?" Merlin questioned.

"What we did?" Arthur responded. "I don't know."

"Neither do I." Merlin said honestly.

There was another silence.

"My Mother died two years ago." Arthur suddenly admitted, pausing. "I had just turned fourteen. I was reckless, I was stupid. I had been invited to this party. With older kids, I desperately wanted to go. So, knowing full when that my parents wouldn't let me, I snuck out. My mum came into my room later that night, I don't what for, but she saw that I was missing and she didn't know where I was. She tried ringing me, but I had left my phone at home. Um, Morgana told her where I had gone, so she decided to drive out to the house. She found me. She dragged me out of there. I was angry, she had spoilt my night. We were fighting in the car. That was it. A car hit us."

"Anyway," Arthur continued. "I can distinctly remember her throwing herself at me. Shielding me. That was it. I woke up at the hospital with my father and Morgana towering over me. Every inch of my body hurt. I had wondered where Mum was. And when I saw their facial expressions, I knew."

Merlin placed a hand gently on his arm. He couldn't imagine something like this happening to his mother, it would be awful. He couldn't even bear to think about it.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Merlin asked gently.

"I don't know. Because I feel like it." Arthur said quietly.

"I'm sor-" Merlin began.

"Don't say that." Arthur said. "Let me finish, by saying that I can still see disappointment in my father's eyes. I know he wishes that I had died instead. He'd never admit it, but I know he blames me."

Merlin didn't know what to say to that. He stared into Arthur's watery blue eyes; he shot a small sad smile at the other boy.

"I like being with Gwen. I know I'm using her and I hate myself for it. I like shagging other people, I like doing a line, I like drinking. Because just for a moment, I can forget about what happened. It haunts me. I don't think I've hated anyone more than I've hated myself." Arthur said softly.

"That doesn't excuse you from what you're doing," Merlin said.

"I know." Arthur replied. "But I won't stop."

"You're a wreck." Merlin said silently.

"I know." Arthur agreed.

"Look at yourself." Merlin said. "Do you think your Mum would want you to be like this?"

"No," Arthur sighed. "But it helps me forget that it's my all my fault."

Merlin grabbed Arthur's shoulder and spun the around boy around to face him.

"Hey, hey, it's not your fault." Merlin exclaimed. "It's not anyone's fault."

"How do you know?" Arthur yelled. "When I was the one who snuck out, she would have never come after me, if I hadn't been so damn selfish."

"A lot of choices were made that night, Arthur, yours, Morgana's decision to tell your Mum, and then her decision to drive out." Merlin stated.

"But the worst one was mine." Arthur said.

Merlin took a few books of the pile of his and pushed them at Arthur's chest.

"You're going to help me return these." Merlin signalled at the books. "And then we're going to get an ice-cream."

"But it's cold." Arthur protested.

"It'll be warm inside." Merlin rolled his eyes.

"I didn't bring any money." Arthur muttered.

"I'll pay." Merlin grinned.

Arthur

He wasn't exactly sure why he had confessed all of this to Merlin. He didn't tell anyone any of this. It was private. And now the impossible idiot was dragging him along to get ice cream.

The shop was nearly empty when they walked in. And Merlin simply flashed a warm smile to the red-haired lady behind the counter.

He stared at all the flavours before making his choice.

'I'll have vanilla, please," Arthur asked politely.

"Oh of course it's exactly like you to choose vanilla." Merlin commented, seemingly forgetting the intense conversation they'd had earlier.

"Why, what's wrong with vanilla?" Arthur defended.

"Nothing, it's just so plain." Merlin expressed.

"Oh really? What are you choosing then?" Arthur argued.

"Cookies and cream." Merlin said smugly.

"And that's not-" Arthur was cut off by the lady's sharp voice.

"Is he your boyfriend, Merlin?"

"Oh, no, no." Merlin laughed awkwardly.

"The way you lads seem to be arguing, it's like an old married couple," She declared happily.

"Nothing like that." Arthur assured.

"What a shame though, aye, you would make a good pair." She insisted.

"Eva," Merlin said amusedly. "Thank you, but we're just friends."

So they were now friends were they? Arthur could live with that.

Once Eva had handed them the ice cream cones and Merlin had paid, they proceeded to go sit on one of the little red tables at the end. Arthur placed his water bottle down and began eating his ice cream.

"Hand me your phone." Arthur demanded.

"Why?" Merlin asked suspiciously.

"So I can give you my number?" Arthur rolled his eyes.

Merlin dug through the pocket of his khaki trousers and tossed his phone over to Arthur.

"Why do you bite your ice cream?" Merlin questioned, irritated.

"Why do you ask annoying questions?" Arthur answered. "How are you supposed to eat an ice cream anyway?"

Merlin blinked at him, shaking his head and raised his ice cream towards his lips.

Arthur watched him, electricity coiling in his stomach as Merlin he poked out his pink tongue and ran it slowly across the cold surface; he licked the melted ice cream running down the side, and when he raised a cocky eyebrow at Arthur, he had a smear of it, just above his upper lip.

He was so entranced at the 'ice-cream-was-never-so-arousing' display by Merlin, he forgot about his own one, which was running down his hand.

Merlin snorted and chucked him a tissue from the metal box at the end of the table.

"You alright there?" Merlin smirked.

"Yeah." Arthur grunted. "Perfectly fine."

Merlin smiled at him mischievously with those twinkling eyes and pouty lips and Arthur had to resist the urge to lean right over and kiss them senseless.

It made him wonder, for the thousandth time, what the hell was wrong with him?

They're newfound friendship is developing, argh. Alright, so chapter 5, there you go! Thank you so much, fabulous readers, for the feedback.

And as you can probably tell, I've changed my penname to 'StateOfLoki' because I was kind of getting sick of my previous one, ANYWAY, I hope you're all having a wonderful day or night depending on where you are, and that you've enjoyed reading this chapter.

Reviews are love. xx