Author's note: Part two! Huzzah! If you're expecting Phan to happen by the end of this chapter I have some bad news for you. I just usually make pairings happens really quickly in fics and I'm trying to get away from that. I'm writing about real people, after all. If the events aren't going to be real the build-up towards them can at least be. I'm focusing on trying to characterize Dan & Phil as accurately as possible. How did I do?

Phil shifted himself down to put his head on Dan's lap. He looked tired. It was quiet again for a few seconds before Dan asked, "You going to be alright?"

Phil's piercing blue eyes met Dan's brown ones. The only sound was their breathing almost synchronized in the silence, and Phil was suddenly a bit too aware of how hard it was to lie to him. "Yeah. Still a bit drained, though. Why does this always happen to me?"

"Ahh, the question that all bitter, recently single people ask that no one really has an answer to. The worst things happen to the best people?"

"That sounds rather silly, don't you think?"

"Ask a cliché question, get a cliche answer. Besides, it's either that or you just have terrible taste in women so-"

"Hey!" Phil used a slightly angry tone, but his tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth in a half-smile. "Thanks a lot, Dan, that really makes me feel better about-"

"Or maybe the universe has some sort of grudge against you and it has decided to punish you by condemning you to a life of loneliness and-"

"Dan!" This time Phil sat up to glare directly at him. The latter was suppressing giggles, with his signature smirk in place. "Just wanted to make sure we cover all your options."

Phil rolled his eyes noticeably. "Surely there's got to be more than two options!"

"Well yeah, I guess. Your point?" Dan crossed his arms involuntarily, eyes drifting casually around the room in thought.

"What are the other options, oh relationship wizard of destiny? Enlighten me." A couple of random hand gestures made their way into Phil's sentence before he dropped them at the end. Classic for Phil, of course. Dan stroked his imaginary beard and let his wandering eyes make their way to the ceiling before he spoke again.

"Let's see here. First path, as I said, universe hates you, and thus you are doomed to fail at all relationships until the end of time."

"Yeah. Next one, please."

"Umm. Second choice; you pick all the wrong people and you eventually get tired of it and settle down with someone rich or funny, or tolerable enough for you to bother faking an orgasm for. No kids or anything."

Phil shifted uncomfortably on the couch, leaning into a half-slouch. "And the next one...?"

"Well I'm kind of making these up as I go along but if you insist..."

"I definitely insist." He smirked, biting the outer edge of his lip.

" Right then. Third, and this is the most common prophecy of them all- you fall for someone in a radical way, the kind of love that keeps you up at night, but the supposed magic wears away and suddenly you're waiting for your second offspring to graduate high school so that you can divorce the hell out of each other."

"Ugh!" Dan looked over to see an exasperated Phil groaning. "Are any of these prophecy things any good?"

"Patience, Philip, I'm getting there. Now, that said, do you want to guess the final prophecy?" Dan looked far too cheerful about the conversation for Phil's taste.

"Not particularly, but I'll give it a go. Happily ever after?"

"Precisely! This one is basically the storyline of every fairytale known to mankind, but hear me out: you fall on love with the last person you would expect to, or even want to, and then you're dating and wow you're already up to the tenth cliche in the book and you tell them things about yourself that you wouldn't bother to with anyone else because you figured it didn't matter how many sugars you liked in your coffee before that date and BOOM! Throw in a slew of rom-com type moments and the occasional fight and there's your love story."

As if Phil wasn't already grasping for comprehension of this statement, Dan continued. Phil shifted himself to lean into Dan again, noting mentally that Dan was pleasantly warm. Good thing Dan was talking so quickly; otherwise his voice might have caught in his throat when Phil changed positions.

" Not actual fights, though. The ones that don't cause any damage because they always end in either teary, stumbling apologies and cuddling or an unusually aggressive make out session. Think, like, that montage at the beginning of 'Up'. Except without the despair and untimely death and such."

Dan exhaled. "And maybe a bit more pornographic. But I think that pretty much covers everything."

Again I ask you, if you enjoyed it or thought there was something I could have done better, please take a minute to let me know! (In particular I'm looking for opinions on my characterization of Dan & Phil. I think I'm doing alright so far, but what do YOU think? Etc etc.) Thanks for reading!
Expect another chapter sometime in the following week. :)
Have a nice day.
Til next time,
- Madi