Big thanks to all of you who took the time to review. Gives me the courage to continue!

I also want to apologize for the mix up in military ranks, Jack is of course a Brigadier General, not a Colonel. I have now done my homework and will hopefully not make the same mistake again!

If anyone wonders, this is set somewhere in the middle of season 8, around "Threads" , beware of spoilers. S/J of course eventually, but I thought I'd make them a bit miserable first..

And at last.. Minor character death will occur, so if you don't like that, my apologies!

Chapter 2

A few hours after Pete had left she tried to find something to eat. The last few hours had been exhausting and she had gotten her appetite back. Sam had had some serious thinking to do.. About her job; should she stay in the military with all the risks she put herself through every day, risks that would perhaps be diminished by being transferred to non-active duty but not cease all together. Or should she retire and get a "normal" job, perhaps teaching somewhere, and leave the protection of the earth to someone else? The thought of becoming a mother and being responsible for a child, she felt, had made her change her priorities. But how much? Then there was the question about her and Pete.. She knew she could not stay in a relationship with him. The last few weeks had been hard enough, with the bad conscience she had about having been with someone else, with her boss for crying out loud! In the same bed where she and Pete normally slept together. Not that there had been that much "sleeping together" in the last few weeks either, with Sam coming up with excuses to avoid getting in a situation where Pete would stay the night. She knew she should have broken up their relationship the day he arrived back from his Boston trip, but she just couldn't. Mostly out of selfish reasons, afraid that she would end up alone again seeing the whole lady-with-dozens-of-cats-picture in her mind's eye.. And she had no idea how to break the news to him, to call off the wedding, it all seemed so drastic and hasted, so she had waited. The third thing she had to carefully think through was her relationship to Jack. Brigadier General Jack O'Neill. Her commanding officer, but also best friend and now secret one-time lover. The climate between them had been frosty the last few weeks. They had tried to avoid one another as much as they could, only interact with one another when absolutely necessary. Even Daniel had picked up the frosty air and commented about it, making Jack make a harsh comment about Daniel minding his own business, and making Sam ask him to leave it. Daniel probably had made the assumption they had had an argument, or that Jack was all moody because of the recent distribution of invitations for the wedding ceremony of Pete & Sam. Sam had not wanted to invite Jack, but found it to be a bit suspicious not to invite her own boss and colleague of almost 8 years.. Thus, invitations were sent.. He had not answered it yet though.. But the question remained, should she tell him about the baby? Or just pretend it was Pete's? Considering that sexual interaction between commanding officer and a subordinate could send them to a court martial made her hesitate. But didn't he have the right to know? Her subconscious continued to pest her. Would he even want another child after Charlie? And with her of all people?

As she, cursing softly to herself, went through her cabinets for something to eat she made herself a promise to at least start taking better care of herself, food wise. She usually didn't have the time or the energy to start cooking homemade meals as she finished work, and had gotten so used to the food in the canteen that she just ate there before she went home. According to Samantha Carter logic, this was far more efficient than cooking yourself, and efficient was good.. But perhaps not that nutritious, and growing foetuses needed nutrition. So… hello healthy life!

"Hah!" she exclaimed to herself as she found a can of ravioli on the lowest shelf, and of course, all the way back in the pantry. Retrieving it had made her stand on all fours; she realized that she perhaps would have to enjoy her mobility as long as she could. The thought of a protruding belly made her stomach flutter with nervous excitement.

The extra energy the food brought her, made her rethink her options. Perhaps she should just call Jack.. or just take a ride over there. She put another one of those tasteless ravioli pieces in her mouth and nodded to herself. But she would have to do it now, before her new-found courage subsided. Not even bothering to put the food away, she quickly donned her coat and grabbed her purse.

The twenty minute car ride was over before she had any time to consider what to say, or how to say it. She parked her car outside his house, seeing smoke from the barbecue coming from the back yard. Feeling her courage failing her, she sat there just observing the home of the man she loved. It was a really nice house, reminding her of a cabin.. Perhaps that was why he had bought it in the first place? She wondered what would have happened if she only had accepted his invitations to come go with him.. Perhaps one day..

Without too much thinking she exited the car. She hastily walked around his house, just to see him standing there, pouring beer over the steaks. He didn't notice her at once, giving her the opportunity to study him. After a few moments though, he seemed to sense her eyes on him and he turned. Their eyes locked like they had that evening a few weeks ago, and she again felt she had some trouble taking deep breaths. Sensing she had to explain why she was here she hesitantly began talking.

"Ehm hi.. Sir.."

"Hi Carter.. what are you doing here? I mean.. Hi." He said, casting a nervous look behind him towards the kitchen.

"I.. I've been sitting in the car for the last ten minutes trying to work up the nerve to come over.. I.. The truth is that I've been having second thoughts about the whole wedding thing.. And, after what happened I.. If I don't say this now I'm not sure I ever will." She took a deep breath. " I'm p-" Sam started, but got distracted by someone moving by the kitchen door.

"Jack, I've looked everywhere but I can't find th-.. Colonel Carter!" Agent Kerry Johnson appeared next to Jack. Jack closed his eyes in an attempt to keep himself from letting out a frustrated scream.. And to avoid the utter look of hurt and embarrassment that washed over Sam's face when she saw Kerry, and connected the dots.

"Ehm.. Carter, this is agent Johnson. I don't know if the two of you have met" Jack tried awkwardly.

Sam could only stare at Kerry, slowly letting her gaze travel between her and Jack. So, that's that then.. He'd moved on to the next conquest.. The awful feeling in her chest just made her chest want to explode, and she remembered that she had to breath. She took a shaky breath and put on her "good soldier"-face.

"I'm sorry to just barge in on you.. The two of you like this. I just came by to talk to the General, but I'll just wait 'til we meet at work.." She tried to sound convincing, but she could see that she couldn't fool Jack, they had known each other too long for that. She tried to avoid looking at him as she backed out of his yard and hurriedly walked back to her car.

As she reached her car her cellphone started ringing, looking at the caller-id she didn't recognize the number. Taking a deep breath she answered, not realizing Jack had followed her back to her car.

"Miss Samantha Carter?" a calm, female voice inquired.

"Yes, this is Lieutenant-Colonel Samantha Carter speaking" she said, trying to hurry up the conversation, her thoughts a million miles away, imagining Jack and Kerry together..

"A mr Pete Shanahan have listed you as his emergency contact.. I am afraid I have to tell you that mr Shanahan has been in a car crash a few hour ago.." Sam had to brace herself against her car, her legs not really managing to carry the weight of her body anymore.

"Oh my God.. how is he? Is he ok?" she worriedly asked. Even though she didn't love him didn't mean she did not care for him.. Jack took a few steps closer, and laid a hand on her shoulder as he heard the concern of her voice and saw her stumble.

"I'm afraid not Colonel.. He.. He died of his injuries on the site. The paramedics did all they could, but he was in too bad shape after the crash..-" The female voice disappeared in the background, and Sam felt the world starting to spin. She leaned against her car and slid down to sit on the pavement.

Jack saw the pallor on Sam's face, surprised to see her react like this. He hurried to her side, just as she sat down.

"Lets go inside, ok?" Jack said, helping Sam to her feet again. The concerned look on Jack's face was more than she could take, shrugging off his hand as she leaned against her car to regain some equilibrium. Trying to absorb everything that had occurred in the last ten minutes, Jack and Kerry's relationship, Pete's sudden demise.. and how her own situation had evolved. And she didn't need Jacks pity.

"What happened?" he asked, keeping his hands to himself this time.

"I just got dizzy.. I.. Pete was in a car crash.. He.. He's dead.." she said silently, with more calm than she'd thought she would have. Jack stood there in silence, not knowing what to say. This was Daniel's department for crying out loud! Daniel was the one who was good with words.. Not Jack. He tried to take Sam's hand, but she withdrew, like she had burned herself.

"I'll leave you two.. I need to be alone" she said, not meeting his gaze. She made her way to her car and drove away, as he picked up the phone and called Daniel to explain to him what had happened to Pete.

"If she's just lost Pete, why on earth are you not with her?" Daniel asked him angrily. "You are her best friend Jack, why don't you just put aside whatever argument you two have had and go after her..?". He continued, and then ended the call.

Jack sat there with the phone still in his hand, not knowing what to do. Well, there was nothing he could do.. Just supporting her as a CO, telling her to take some time off from work. Supporting her as a friend was no longer a possibility, he had done his best to distance himself from her in the last few weeks, and so it had to stay. With a deep sigh he stood, and went outside to save whatever was left of the charred meat on the grill..

Sam just kept on driving, not really realizing where she drove. After an hour or so it turned dark outside, and she turned the car back home. Thoughts of Pete, Jack, Jack and Kerry, and Jack and herself kept entering her mind. Thoughts of the small life that was growing inside her also intruded, even though she felt she couldn't process that at the moment.. When she parked by her house, she saw someone sitting on the stairs. Her heart started beating faster as she realized it was a man, thinking that perhaps it was Jack, but as she came closer she recognized the man as Daniel.

"Oh.. Hi.. It's you" she said, trying not to sound too disappointed. She passed him and went to open the door. "I guess the General called you to make sure I didn't do anything stupid" she continued, a bitter tone seeping into her voice.

Daniel just looked at her, realizing Sam had changed. This was not the Sam he knew. And he also knew that even though she tried to convince everyone else that she had loved Pete, she actually didn't.. And he had always known.

"How are you Sam? I'm so sorry about Pete.." he started, talking to her back as she disappeared into the kitchen. He followed her, seeing that she had stopped by the sink, clutching a glass of water in her hand. Still not facing him.

"I'm fine.. I actually am.. you know.." she said, but then hesitated. She let out a small, sad laugh. "I was actually going to call off the engagement.. I decided this morning. How that for irony.." she continued, and Daniel made his way over to her, taking her in his arms. She let him, it was nice to be close to someone right now.

Daniel felt his nose started to itch.. damn allergies.. and let Sam go. He gestured he was going to use the bathroom and quickly found his way over there. After blowing his nose he opened the trash can to throw away the paper, when something caught his eye. A used pregnancy test. He bent down to look closer, and picked it up. He didn't know much about these tests, but even he could see that it showed "positive". What..? Was Sam pregnant? And now she'd just lost Pete? Oh no.. he thought. He took the test with him and went back to the kitchen, Sam was still standing by the kitchen sink, deep in thought.

"Sam.." he said. "What's this? Are you pregnant?" he asked, seeing the look of horror on her face turning into tears..