Breaking the Fourth Wall Chapter 3, an once upon a time fanfic

You have asked for more ridiculous nonsense, so I say bring it! Here is the next chapter of this, uh, compilation of words. And by the way, I went ahead and created a beta test kind of Twitter account for anyone who wants to follow me (the writer). My user name thing is MasterMind16X. This is NOT my personal account, I used a pseudonym from my Charmed FanFic, Jerome Matthews. If anyone wants to try the beta, I might post stuff about my stories (including this random word compilation FanFiction has so graciously labeled as a story).

Compilation of nonsense part 3:

It was the dead of night. Emma and Snow were sound asleep. Aurora wasn't. She was on "guard duty," which really consisted little more of huddling in the dark and whimpering quietly to herself, hoping nothing comes. "Excuse me? I was NOT whimpering until you made me!" Aurora shouted. Oh, hush girl. You're going to wake Snow and Emma.

"Not if you don't want them awake," Aurora snapped. Oh, you catch on quickly. Good job, here's a cookie. A cookie randomly fell from the sky into Aurora's lap. She picked up the cookie and, after tentatively sniffing the cookie, ate it. It was delicious, unlike anything she had ever tasted before. Granted, the last thing she had eaten was a can of old sardines, so compared to that an oatmeal cookie probably tasted like ambrosia.

"Those sardines were horrible," Aurora said. Yep. And there are plenty more of those if you don't behave yourself. Aurora shuddered from fear. And the cold. She wasn't exactly dressed for, well, anything even remotely outside. Other than posing. Her outfit was a great posing outfit.

"Are you done yet?" Aurora asked, somewhat embarrassed.

"I was going for more of an annoyed tone, Mr. Narrator," Aurora said. Bummer. You got embarrassed. Be glad something worse didn't happen. I could have made it worse, you know.

"Yeah, I know," Aurora said. Now, go to sleep. I'm going on a lunch break and won't be able to make anything happen, so you'll be safe. Until I get back.

"I don't want to go to sleep," Aurora said. Well, you're going to. Get over it. Aurora yawned and quickly fell asleep, leaving the narrator free to go and eat his lunch. It was a sandwich. Be jealous.

Time passes...

The narrator had returned from his lunch break. Aurora was still asleep, since the narrator had been preoccupied. Aurora felt the narrator's presence and jolted awake. "Hey!" she shouted. Hello. How did you sleep?

"You made me sleep!" Aurora shouted angrily. "Something could have happened!" Technically, no, nothing could have happened because I was eating a sandwich. It was delicious, by the way. Melted cheese with nice, flavorful lunch meats.

Aurora's stomach growled. "Stop that! You're making me hungry!" Aurora said. That was the point. Now, you want to eat. And the only thing to eat around here is that old shoe. Want it?

Aurora's face adopted a look of horror. "No, no, that's perfectly okay!" she said hastily. You sure? Aurora nodded her head. Very well, suit yourself. I'll be right back. There's leftover cake.

Initiating auto narrator. Auto narrator allows for continuation of story without need for narrator's presence. Auto narrator is possible because of Princess Aurora. She has the power to see past the fourth wall, and as a result is not bound by the normal laws of narration. Princess Aurora has not yet developed the power to hear the auto narrator, or to completely resist the narrator's influence, but she can carry the story without him. Auto narrator is here only so audience readers are not completely confused. At least, not beyond the normal levels of confusion to be expected from this.

Now continuing story telling: Aurora had heard the narrator's last comment, and was desperately foraging for food before he came back and made her eat that shoe. She successfully found a pear tree. She grabbed all the pears she could and quickly began eating them. She wanted to get as much actual food in her before the narrator came back and ruined it all. Aurora paused and thought for a moment. The last few things the narrator had made her do seemed almost, weak. She felt like she could have resisted if she had fought a little harder. Was his power weakening? Or was her power growing? And why did she have this power? Aurora sensed the narrator was about to return. She quickly hid the pears and returned to where she was before, pretending to be asleep.

Auto narrator disengaged.

Hey, Aurora! Wake up! Aurora jolted awake, again, before groaning loudly. "Why do you feel the need to do that?" she asked. Why? Because it is hilarious. And a ton of fun. Believe me when I say that torturing you is literally the highlight of my day.

"Oh, great," Aurora groaned. Now, I'm going to stop all of this nice stuff because I'm worried the audience will try and ship us together.

"They'll try to do what?" Aurora asked. Ship us together. Make us fall in love. The very thought of it makes me sick to my stomach, personally, but for you I imagine that it'd be a wonderful experience. Getting to love someone with power, rather than than sissy Phillip.

"Excuse me? Phillip was definitely NOT a sissy! You made him like that!" Aurora shouted. "And I'd rather die than fall for you!" The feeling is mutual, my dear. The feeling is mutual. And Phillip was whatever I made him to be. Since I made him to be a sissy, he became a sissy. And he was a sissy. Who didn't like germs. Even from his true love. Which, when you think about it, is kind of weird. He didn't think twice when it came to kissing you, but he recoils in disgust when you sneezed on him. He must have been a complicated man. Or you're a messy sneezer. Or maybe both.

"Please just stop now," Aurora asked, turning red in embarrassment. Or maybe it was shame. Wait, are those synonyms? They might be. So, she was turning red in both embarrassment AND shame. There we go, now it doesn't matter if they're synonyms.

"You're crazy," Aurora said. Yes, my dear, yes I am.

"Why are you rambling so much?" Aurora asked. Because I am employing a tactic of filling. That's when writers add a bunch of either fluffy details or some random, irrelevant thing to their stories. I chose to ramble in the form of fillage. Which I now declare to be a word. Fillage is our newest word, and our newest word it shall be!

"So, while you make a filler," Aurora said. Fillage.

"Okay, fine, fillage, what do I do?" Aurora asked. Well, you could eat that shoe. I'm done writing, so nothing's going to happen now. Goodbye for now! And beg the reviewers to ask for more, otherwise you'll be stuck here, forever!

"I am not begging!" Aurora said, adamantly. Okay, suit yourself. Bye!

Author's Note:

Yeah, this nonsense needs some vague semblance of a plot. Otherwise, I don't really have anything to write. Anyone want to supply plots? I'll use them. Imagine me with a big "Will write for plots" sign. On the side of the road. Preferably talking to Sarah Bolger. Or Morgan Freeman. He's cool, too.