Yeah. This is more of the desired ridiculous nonsense. If anyone is at all interested in reading a humor story about Aurora that is considerable less ridiculous and has a fourth wall, check out Welcome to Storybrooke. It's considerably less ridiculous.
Section of chaotic nonsense number 4:
Hello, princess. "Oh, no. Why are you back?" Aurora asked.
Because I love you so much. Not really. The readers have requested more, therefore I shall give them more.
On another note, have you ever dated a pirate? "Um, no. I'm engaged to Phillip, remember?" Aurora replied.
Wait, you've only ever dated Phillip? "Yeah," Aurora said. That's pathetic.
"Excuse me? I love him!" Aurora snapped. But still, you haven't at least dated other people? I repeat; that's pathetic.
"And how many people have you dated?" Aurora asked. Princess, I am a FanFiction narrator and writer. What makes you think I could get a girl to date me?
"Make her. You said you control everything," Aurora said. I do. In this story. However, I exist outside of the story. I exist in a place known as the real world, and in the real world I don't have absolute power.
"So, you've never dated anyone? At least I've dated someone," Aurora said. Shut up. I can drop random objects on your head if I so desire.
Aurora stopped talking. Good, you've learned your place. Now, you are going to date a pirate. "Excuse me?" Aurora asked. You heard me. You're going to date a pirate. Fans have requested that I ship you with Captain Hook. Why, I have no idea. But I respect my fans, and I shall write them the shipping they desire.
"Uh, shipping?" Aurora asked. I seem to remember explaining this concept to you before.
"That doesn't mean I remember it," Aurora said. Fine. Be that way. A shipping is a pairing, like you and Phillip. Until Phillip died a horrible, sissy death.
"He was not a sissy!" Aurora said. Yes he was. I wrote him that way.
Aurora sighed. "What other weird words are you going to use?" she asked. Probably a ton. Here's one: genuphobia. It means the irrational fear of knees. As far as terms like shipping, none. I don't even know what most of those other terms mean. I barely know what a shipping is, and I don't know what most of the shippings are called.
"What do you mean by 'called?'" Aurora asked. Well, here's an example: you and Mulan are known as Sleeping Warrior, disturbing as I find that pairing, that's the only one I know of, other than Swan Thief and Rumbelle. The rest confuse me. Like Red Beauty. I honestly thought that was you and Red Riding Hood for a very long time.
"Wait, me and who now?" Aurora asked. Exactly. You two have never met, so why anyone would want to ship you two together was way beyond my level of understanding. Anyway, you and Captain Hook are a rather large shipping, though I don't know what the name of it is. Probably something like Sleeping Hook or Sleeping Pirate.
Anyway, you've led me off topic. I would like to request that you keep quiet for a while. I'm going to attempt to make things progress. Which is ridiculously difficult when you interrupt me.
"Fine, just please don't make me suffer too much," Aurora said. Scout's Honor. At least, not for a little while.
"What's a Scout?" Aurora asked. Seriously? You've never heard of the Boy Scouts of America? I guess not. There probably aren't any BSA Scout Troops in the Enchanted Forest. Well, think of them as noble, chivalrous knights. Like the ones that Snow White would hire, not like the ones Regina hired. Those guys were kind of evil. Look, I'll leave you in peace as long as you let me progress. When I'm done progressing, my promise is kept and the deal is fulfilled. Got it?
"Fine, fine, I'll keep quiet until you tell me you're done. Or until you make me miserable again," Aurora said. Agreed.
Snow and Emma knew that they needed to find a way back to Storybrooke. They decided to go to the castle where Snow and Charming had lived before. The magic cabinet that Emma was sent through might still have some magic left in it, and if Emma and Snow could somehow tap into that magic, they could find a way back home.
"Aurora, what will you do?" Snow asked. Aurora said nothing. Aurora, you can answer questions from Snow and Emma. You can talk to them all you want. You just need to leave me alone and not talk about me.
"I have no one," Aurora said. "Would you let me go with you?"
"Of course you can come," Snow replied.
"Um, Mary Margaret, can I talk to you for a second?" Emma asked. Mary Margaret agreed and the two walked a good distance away from Aurora, but close enough that they could still see her.
"Are you sure that's a good idea? Can we really afford to bring her along, too?" Emma asked.
"We can't just leave her, Emma. Look at her. She's all alone, and she's so young. We can't just leave her out here, alone, to die," Snow said.
Emma paused for a second. "You know, I hate it when you're right," she said.
Snow and Emma walked back over to Aurora. "Alright, you can come," Emma said.
Aurora sighed in relief. "Thank you," she said.
"Well, come one, let's go," Emma said.
"But, it's almost dark," Aurora said. "Shouldn't we make camp and wait until morning?"
"We've still got a couple hours of sunlight left," Emma said. "Let's not waste them."
Emma, Snow, and Aurora all hiked through the forest for a few hours. When the sun was almost down, Snow heard a the sound of a fight. She ran off in the direction of the sound. Emma and Aurora followed. Snow entered a clearing and saw a man, a pirate, fighting off an ogre. A huge, ugly, ogre. The man himself had short dark hair and a mustache. Snow watched him fight off the ogre. The only weapon he had was a hook in place of one of his hands.
Snow whistled to get the ogres attention. The ogre turned towards her and grunted. It began walking clumsily towards Snow. Snow knocked an arrow in her bow and shot the ogre in the eye. The ogre fell over, dead. "What was that?" Emma asked.
"An ogre. You have to shoot them in the eye to kill them," Snow said.
"How long has it been since you shot a bow?" Emma asked.
"28 years," Snow said. Emma was shocked into silence. The man walked to the small group and introduced himself.
"Hello, my name is Killian Jones, but most people call me Hook," the man, Hook, said.
"You're a pirate?" Aurora asked.
"What gave it away?" Hook asked with a grin.
"Yeah, we saved you. Now, if you don't mind, we have somewhere we need to be," Emma said.
"Really? Mind if I tag along? I have nowhere to go," Hook said.
Emma turned to Snow. "Can we afford to take any more stragglers?" she asked.
"We can't very well turn him away," Snow said.
"Why not?" Emma asked. "He, unlike Aurora, isn't a helpless girl. He's a pirate; he can more than take care of himself."
"We can't leave someone in these woods, alone, to be killed by ogres. We can't just abandon him, Emma," Snow said.
"Fine, we'll let him tag along," Emma said. "Hey, Hook!" Emma called. "You can tag along. Just try not to slow us down."
"Well, as a newcomer to this lovely party, might I suggest we make camp here? Your young companion looks about ready to drop dead on her feet," Hook said.
"Yeah, we'll make camp," Snow said.
The group made camp and prepared to sleep. Hey, Aurora.
Aurora groaned. "What?" she asked. I'm done progressing for now. You're free to talk to me all you want, because now I'm going to make you miserable.
Aurora groaned again. "What are you going to do to me?" she asked. You'll have to wait and see. I'm done with this section for now.
Author's Note:
You asked for ridiculous nonsense, I gave you ridiculous nonsense. If any of you want to read my other Once Upon A Time FanFiction, it's called Welcome to Storybrooke. Considerably less ridiculous nonsense, and the first chapter isn't very exciting yet, but I have plans for the story.