Thanks to all you Shenny fans out there for your favorties, follows, and reviews! We're getting into the mind of Sheldon now, a bit scary but we might learn something...

She was on top of him. His arm and side were still stinging from the catch-and-throw she had used to roll him on his back. His breath had been forcibly expired from his lungs, and now she was crushing his thorax by lying across his body, pinning his arms to the carpet with the vice-like grip of her man-hands. She was smiling and laughing with Amy, who was kneeling behind his head, with only the top of her brown hair visible from his supine position. With her considerable weight pressing down on his upper torso, and her wide hips neutralizing his legs, he was utterly defenseless, completely at her mercy, like a wounded fawn that has been pounced upon by a voracious jaguar.

What would be her next move? Already, his anxiety was escalating as he looked up into the wicked, hungry grin which peered down on him. He protested, begging her to release him. She had won the match, proved her point, and shown how much of a brute she really was. He was just about to cry out "Uncle!" when, to his horror, she licked her plump, moist, crimson-stained lips. Her eyes narrowed into blackened slits as her mouth puckered, and he closed his eyes in terror as her head snapped forward like a crocodile snatching its prey in its razor-lined jaws.

SMACK! Her lips pressed down on his nose, her breath billowing forth like a blast furnace, reeking of wine and potato chips. Her head bobbed upward with a lurid "MWAH" sound, leaving a trace of crimson on his face.

SMACK! He began to scream as her mouth collided with his right cheek, and then his left, each kiss smearing greasy lipstick on his pate. She looked up at Amy and laughed, and now he could see his girlfriend's eyes, burning with intention, staring down at him through her spectacles.

SMACK! Amy's wet lips assaulted his forehead. SMACK! Penny leaving her mark on his chin. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK SMACK SMACK…

Sheldon's traumatic flashback was shattered by the belch that erupted from his throat, bringing with it the bitter taste of bile and berry juice. He had taken a shower, irrigated his sinus, brushed his teeth twice, gargled, and flossed, and he still felt seeds in his teeth and spots of stickiness on his face, hands, and hair. And he'd taken antacid tablets, milk of magnesia, and bicarbonate soda to no avail; his stomach was still roiling like a cauldron of hydrochloric acid. Yes, the evening had been, as the young folk said, an epic fail. And he was tonight's winner of the grand booby prize.

"Remind me why we agreed to the pie-eating contest again," Leonard grumbled, his own face green with sickness. He walked into the main room, his face twisted in a dark frown. "I think my stomach just did the Harlem Shake."

"It was Penny's idea," Sheldon murmured, sitting and staring at his computer monitor blankly. "They were left over from yesterday's stock at the Cheesecake Factory." He was playing an advanced version of SimCity, building an empire of robots, spaceships, and dragons. He sipped a can of ginger ale slowly, not taking his eyes off of the screen. And he kept thinking about her. Her hands firmly gripping his arms. Her eyes looking down on him like he was a fresh kill. Her mouth smiling, laughing, shouting. Her lips. Oh God, those wet, fleshy lips. The weight of her body on his. The smell of the sweat trickling down her chest. The heat of her breath on his face.

And the look she gave him before she assaulted him. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it wasn't the look of a predator seizing its prey, but the look of a sumptuous housecat about to pounce on her favorite toy. She enjoyed tormenting him, violating his space, ruffling his feathers. It was just a game to her. But to him, it was disrespectful, unpleasant, and repulsive. It was almost as bad as the bullies who tortured him throughout his school years. And yet…

He would be lying if there wasn't a certain…reaction to having this girl have her way with him. For even though she had thoroughly disgusted him with her behavior tonight, he knew that she cared for him, and had proven her loyalty and fidelity to their friendship time and again. Even though he felt like she had violated him, he knew it came from a good heart, and she really meant no harm. The fact that he wasn't curled up on his Star Wars sheets whimpering showed that he had grown more comfortable with her proximity and touch.

But he'd never seen this kind of horseplay from her before. He'd been harassed by girls before, but they weren't his friends—not like Penny was. He never was given to such infantile games as wrestling, football, or any of the other mindless contests that boys engaged in. He didn't even like tickling or pillow fights. But something about the playfulness of her aggression gave him pause. Those kisses she planted on him—did they symbolize affection, or were they just to "gross him out," as the kids were so fond of today?

He thought how his brother and sister would playfully rough-house with him, with their nose tweaks and pinches and what-not. Was that what this was like? Perhaps. But then why, after she had gotten off of him and high-fived Amy, was it difficult for him to sit up from the floor? She hadn't really hurt him—she just surprised him. Had he been…aroused? Had she stimulated a chemical response simply by forcing her body onto his?

He would never have allowed Amy to do such a thing, strict as he was in maintaining the boundaries of the Relationship Agreement. She never would have kissed him once on the face, let alone repeatedly against his vehement protests, except that Penny had emboldened her. Penny had simply overpowered him, physically and psychologically. She just threw herself on him, like a big dog excitedly leaping on her master. And he had no choice but to yield to her warm, wet shower of affection.

Hmm, that was the second time I compared her to a quadruped in less than a minute, he smiled to himself. I should probably keep that to myself, seeing as she doesn't like my animal analogies.

"So, are you going to go over there and apologize?" Leonard asked, suddenly sounding like Sheldon's mother.

Sheldon's eyes remained fixed to the screen. "I wasn't planning on it. Why should I have to apologize for speaking the truth? Sometimes the truth hurts. Perhaps now she'll think twice before she physically molests her friends."

Leonard screwed his face into a look of perturbation. "So that's what this is about? Because she pinned you in wrestling? Good God, Sheldon! She wasn't molesting you, she was just playing around."

Sheldon turned to face him. "Then I guess when that Speckerman fellow from your high school who chased us down the stairs was just playing around. And I suppose when Kurt ripped our pants off all those years ago, he was just playing around. And all those bullies in school…"

"Okay, okay, I get your point. She violated your space. She touched you with her lips. She was out of line."

"Out of line? Leonard, I don't think you appreciate the gravity of her offense. She knows I don't like being touched. I've only allowed her to embrace me a few times, and she went from a friendly hug to jumping on top of me, holding me down, and slobbering all over my face. I've filed police charges over less."

"Yes, I remember the mime incident of 2007," Leonard said, looking up in resignation. "But Penny is not a mute stranger in face paint and tights. She's one of your best friends. And I know at least a couple hundred guys who would gladly let Penny pin them to the ground and slobber on them."

"Leonard, you know I am not like any of these knuckle-dragging hippies who copulate with anything resembling a female. I allow access to my body to only myself, and that only for the purposes of personal hygiene. The only other people who have had permission to touch me below my neck are my mother and Meemaw. And that was only because I was a helpless infant and unable to care for myself."

Leonard pursed his lips and pressed his eyes shut. "Oh God, Sheldon, I do not want to hear about your Meemaw changing your diapers again. I'm going to bed. Go apologize to Penny. Be the bigger man. Demonstrate magnanimous chivalry. Be a friend."

"I am a friend, I'm just not sure I like her very much right now." Sheldon returned to his game. "Besides, I don't think any of us could be a bigger man than Penny."

Leonard scoffed, then smiled mischievously. "Yeah, she can be kind of rough. She's pinned me down a few times…" Leonard turned towards his room, grinning.

"Leonard?" Sheldon interjected, not turning from his empire.

"Yes, Sheldon?" Leonard turned, still in his reverie.

"May I remind you of the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' amendment to the Roommate Agreement, which states that roommates shall not share intimate details of their sexual activity to one another? It's in the updated version of the revised edition I slid under your door three weeks ago."

Leonard's face melted into one of anger. "Yes, Sheldon. I guess I'll go to my room and think about it. Good night." He turned and stomped into his room and shut the door.

"I won't ask, and I won't tell," Sheldon muttered under his breath, reaching for his ginger ale.