Author's Note: Thank you to the few of you that reviewed, I'm glad you like it. This chapter picks up right after the last one. It's my longest so far, so I hope I don't bore you into a slumber.

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

Andy stripped off her clothes and stepped under the spray of warm water. She let it wash over her as she stood in thought. She and Sam were working it out, they were starting slow, starting back at the beginning, or at least as close to the beginning as their situation would allow. They had already been through so much together, as partners, as friends, as whatever their relationship had been classified as. They had been partners first. They made a great partnership, they worked well together. Then they made it to friends. She could still remember the day they had officially classified themselves as "friends". Getting out at Sudbury she remembered him saying he had never been friends with a woman before. Through all the experiences they shared, they have learned. You don't just forget about everything that has happened in the past, you use it in the present to make a better future. They couldn't start over completely, so they started as close as they could.

Their relationship now was different than before. Before, they had skipped everything, skipped the dates, the flirting, and all the things that couples usually start out with. She had chosen someone else over him. They wouldn't have been able to have a relationship at first, but then she had gotten involved with Luke and before she knew it, they were serious. She was with Luke, but there was still an undeniable attraction to Sam, she was physically attracted to him, but it was more than that as well. She was happy with Luke, but there were always doubts. She loved Luke, she still does. You don't just stop loving someone because of something they do. The love just changes, maybe some of it is lost, but there is always a part of you that still loves them, cares for them, but not in the same way as before.

Luke did a terrible thing to her. He betrayed her; but in some ways, she was relieved. She wasn't sure she was ready for marriage. She wasn't sure she wanted to be tied to someone for the rest of her life. Their whole relationship was unstable to begin with. They never completely trusted one another, she couldn't trust him to be there when she needed someone, and he could never trust her completely when it came to Sam. He should have been able to trust her, but she couldn't even trust herself when it came to Sam. There were feelings there that she couldn't push away, so when things with Luke went south, she was relieved. She didn't need to feel pressured when she was around Sam anymore, she was free to have those feelings for him without constantly worrying what others would think.

She finally had a chance to explore a relationship with Sam. She took her time to get over Luke, to get past the pain that he had put her through. He had cheated on her, and although she felt a little relieved, she was hurt. She was devastated. Once again, someone had chosen someone or something else over her. He had chosen Jo, her mother had left her to go off with some guy, and her father had chosen alcohol over her repeatedly. She had forgiven her father, he eventually chose her over the bottle when faced with an ultimatum. Her mother had found her way back into her life and she didn't want to waste any more time resenting her, she was her mother after all. Luke had tried to get her back, but she couldn't handle it. After finding out about Luke and Jo, it dawned on her that he probably hadn't planned to propose to her in the first place. She had found the ring though; he probably felt it was the best thing to do, so he did it. He proposed.

After getting past that aching, she felt free. She and Sam could possibly try something, but then he went undercover. He didn't even know that she felt something for him. When she saw him undercover, she couldn't stop herself from going back, and that night is when they jumped in. She never really liked time and space. When she saw him, she didn't want any more space between them, she wanted him, and she didn't want to wait any longer. They skipped over things that shouldn't have been passed up, but they couldn't help it. They had become friends first, but they had never expressed their feelings in words before jumping in to bed together. Then there was the suspension, three months of no contact, three very long months. The first day back, wasn't the warmest welcome, but at the end of the day, they jumped right back in where they had left off; never even trying to start from the beginning. Their relationship was good; it seemed great, until Jerry's death. Then the problems came; they didn't know how to communicate with each other, and he ended it. They were apart for two months, but now they were here, trying to work it out, starting over, and taking it slowly.

After standing there for longer than expected, she got to work. She cleaned herself off and lathered up her hair. She finished quickly, stepping out and heading for her dresser in search of comfortable clothes. She pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and headed back into the bathroom to deal with her hair. She dried it half-heartedly before throwing it into a messy bun at the back of her head. She lazily walked out to the kitchen, grabbing a paper and pen, and opening the fridge for inventory. She jotted down the items that she would need to pick up and walked out to the living room. Picking her phone up off the coffee table and sending a text to Sam, not knowing if he would be able to answer the phone at that moment.

I need to run to the store today, do you need anything?

His reply came quickly; he had probably already finished his shower. Yeah, I could use some things. I'll make a list and then we can go together.

She smiled to herself; the thought of Sam shopping for groceries was not a thought that had ever passed through her mind. Obviously he went to the store, he had food and stuff, but she never pictured Sam in a grocery store, pushing a cart down the aisle…maybe he didn't even use a cart, maybe he just used one of the baskets you carry around, either way, she was amused by the image. Fifteen minutes later, her phone started to ring, Sam's name taking over the screen. "Hello?"

"Hey, I'm outside in the truck if you're ready."

"Yeah, I'll be right down."

She changed into a pair of jeans, pulled on her shoes, and grabbed a jacket before closing the door behind her. She hopped into the truck and buckled herself in before looking over at Sam. His hair was still a little wet from his shower, he was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, his signature leather jacket hugging his build, and she could smell the freshly applied cologne. They headed off to the store, without speaking a word to each other. Pulling into a space they both hopped out, Sam pocketing the keys as Andy rounded the back of the truck. "Okay, you want the lists or the cart?" She looked at him with a smile on her face, "I'll take the lists." He pulled his list from his back pocket and handed it over before grabbing a cart and moving into the store.

They walked side by side down the aisles, plucking needed items off of their shelves and placing them into the cart. Andy couldn't tame the smile that had placed itself on her face when they had walked into the store. They finished quickly, making a very efficient team, and headed to pay for their items before leaving. Once everything was packed into the backseat, they headed to Sam's house to drop off his groceries.

Putting items into the pantry and cupboards at Sam's place was an interesting experience to say the least. Everything was organized meticulously depending upon the category that it was classified into. Cereal was at the top, soups near the bottom, pasta in the middle, purely because of the first letter of their specific category. Andy, not noticing this little detail, started placing items wherever there was space on a shelf. Sam walked over to examine the 'mess' that she made, and started removing the misplaced items. "I thought that stuff went in here." Andy watched from behind him, a confused expression on her face. "It does. You just put it in wrong." He didn't seem angry or annoyed, but Andy wasn't exactly sure what was going on. "How did I put it in wrong?" She was annoyed by the silliness of the situation. "Cereal goes up here because it starts with 'c', granola bars here because of the 'g', pasta 'p', soup 's',…" She cut him off; annoyed by the treatment he was giving her. "I know how to spell okay? I know the alphabet." She took a breath, ridding herself of the evident frustration in her voice. "Didn't know you were so organized." He finished alphabetizing his food and turned to her, "This is one of the few things I can control in life. This is the one thing that doesn't have to be complicated. I know how it works, I know where things are, it's something I don't need to worry about." She nodded, realizing that this was something that helped him cope. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so obsessed about something so stupid." She shook her head, "No, I get it. Life is messy. It's nice to have things that you know you can control, things that don't have to be messy." He nodded and smiled at her understanding, "You ready to go?" She nodded and headed for the door, taking the new information that had just revealed itself with her.

They unloaded her share of the groceries without any more dilemmas. "So what did you have planned for your day off?" Sam wondered what he had gotten himself into by agreeing to come back after showering. "Nothing really. I needed to go to the store, that's done now, but that was about all I needed to do today." He smiled, thankful that they didn't have to worry about anything else, and seated himself on a stool in the kitchen as she placed her elbows on the counter across from him. That sat their silently, just studying each other until Andy's stomach made its presence known. Sam chuckled at the interruption, "Hungry McNally." She smiled at his amusement before sarcastically asking, "How did you know?" He shrugged his shoulders, "I like to think I'm good at reading people." She smiled slyly before questioning, "Oh, well then, what am I craving for lunch?" He smiled wickedly back at her as he stood up and made his way to the fridge to see what he could put together. "Well besides the incredibly irresistible man standing in your kitchen, it looks like you are craving a turkey sandwich." She took his seat as he started placing food onto the counter, "Wow, you are good." He closed the fridge and turned to look at her, "Yeah well, how can you not crave an incredibly irresistible man?" She laughed at his cockiness, "I was talking about the turkey sandwich, but I am glad to know that your ego hasn't diminished in the slightest."

He quickly assembled two sandwiches and placed the items back in the fridge before taking a seat next to her. "So what do you want to do today?" She swallowed the bite that was in her mouth before turning to look at him. "I don't know." She hadn't really thought that far ahead when she asked if he wanted to come back over, she didn't care what they did; she just liked having him around. He bobbed his head while taking another bite out of his carefully constructed sandwich. Lunch finished and Andy placed their dishes into the sink before joining Sam in the living room. He had settled himself on the couch, his head resting against one arm of the couch as his body was spread across the rest. Andy looked at him, not wanting to intrude on his space but also not wanting to take the arm chair and leave the comfort of being close to him. "I wouldn't have made you for shy." The words ran through her head, flashing images of their first morning in bed together through her mind. She smiled and responded exactly how she did that morning, "I'm not being shy."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her down on top of him, sliding closer to the edge and positioning her between the back of the couch and his body. She was surprised at first, but quickly composed herself, shifting her body to get a little more comfortable. He looked down at her, an entertained smile on his face, "Happy?" She looked up at him with a huge smile on her face. As if that didn't give her away already, she replied, "Very." She rested her head on his shoulder as his left arm wrapped around her shoulders. She tugged on his hand, forcing his arm down farther. Laying in silence, she brought his arm closer to her face, examining it, letting her eyes take in every detail of his hand and wrist. "What are you doing?" His voice was soft and warm, but filled with intrigue. "You never really told me about that night…in that house with Brennan. I saw the aftermath, but I never knew how it happened." She tilted her head to look at his face, still holding onto his hand. "What did he do to you?"

He pulled his eyes away from hers and focused on the wall, exhaling, he began, "He came over, wanting to go somewhere, but as we were leaving he knocked me out…hit me in the head with something, not sure what it was. Next thing I know, I'm waking up with a bag over my head and cloth in my mouth tied at the back of my head. I was sitting on a wooden chair with my wrists and ankles tied to the legs and arms of the chair. He wanted answers to his wife and daughters death, he knew someone had covered it up and he thought I had answers because I was working him. He wasn't buying the fact that I didn't know anything about it, so he kicked the chair over and came back with a jar of water. He held my jaw and started pouring it into my mouth. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't swallow, I felt like I was drowning…repeatedly. He would come back wanting answers that I didn't have, when I would tell him I had no idea he just got more water. He started talking about his kid, her first words, how she couldn't pronounce things…he smashed my hand with a hammer." His hand clenched unconsciously before relaxing, as he continued to stare at the wall. "I told him he didn't deserve them which pissed him off so he punched me…the whole chair fell over. The chair broke from the force of my weight coming down on it and I untied myself. When he came back in with a gun I hit him with a shovel, kicked him a couple times…we fought, but he had me, I couldn't breathe with his arm around my neck, but then you guys showed up. A couple minutes later and I would have been dead."

Andy sucked in a breath, trying to keep the unshed tears from escaping. "I'm sorry Sam." He shook his head, peeling his eyes from the wall to look at her, "What happened to me then had nothing to do with you. He made me because of the crap Boyd gave me." She looked back down at his hand, fitting her fingers into the spaces between his. "I'm sorry I left you…after all that." He leaned his head onto hers, his cheek resting against her hair. She could feel him shaking his head, "It's fine. I wouldn't have been able to follow the rules of the suspension if you had stayed here. I was angry before, but if you hadn't left we might not have jobs anymore. I missed you though…that's what hurt the most. Not being able to see you every day was worse than the fact that you left because I knew you would be back." Her thumb brushed along the creases in his palm, "I missed you every day." She could feel him nodding, "I know."

The silence was nice, but it became overwhelming for Andy after a couple minutes. She liked being able to talk…she especially liked being able to get honest answers. "Can I ask you something?" His eyes bore into the wall again, "Shoot." She took a breath, not sure how to phrase it, not wanting to make him feel guilty or angry. "What was going through your brain the night we broke up?" She added the 'we' not wanting to put the blame all on him, although she had no say in the split. He let out a shaky breath as he composed himself. "I thought a lot about us, after Jerry's death. I couldn't imagine what Nash was going through, losing someone like that, someone she was going to marry, someone she was completely in love with. I couldn't help but picture myself in that same situation, losing you. Even you being in Nash's situation, me dying, I couldn't face the thought of putting you through that pain, letting myself be put through that pain because of our relationship and the riskiness of our job. I thought we were too involved, too invested in each other. Breaking up with you, making you hate me, ruining our relationship…I thought that if something horrible were to happen to one of us while we were in that situation, us no longer having a relationship…I thought it would lessen the pain if something did happened to me or you. I was wrong Andy, I was so wrong. I watched you, I would make sure to see you at work, just a glimpse of you…and every time I would tell myself, 'As long as she is alive, she's better without you. Nothing else matters'. Except other things did matter, I couldn't live like that. I was horrible to everyone. I was horrible to everything. I was horrible to myself. I treated everyone like dirt, I practically destroyed my house and truck, I didn't take out the trash or do the dishes or clean out my car those six weeks. I would come home every night and just drink until I passed out. Seeing you with that bomb, I realized that I would rather spend every day with you, every day with you knowing how I felt about you. I would rather die, knowing that the person I loved knew how much I loved them, than die knowing that they might be in less pain because I had ruined my relationship with them. I would rather die knowing that I spent everyday living life to the fullest. Life can only be lived through love, loving someone makes life worth living. I'm sorry for hurting you Andy, but I hurt myself too. I thought that I was doing something selfless, something wise, but I regret it all the time, knowing that I have caused you pain. I'm sorry…I'm sorry…Andy, I'm sorry."

She kept her gaze away from his, knowing that she would break if she looked at him. Her voice was shaky, but she started anyway. "I'm not saying this to hurt you. You told me the pain you went through, I need to tell you what I went through. Tell you how in love I was with you, how in love I am." She bit her lip, giving herself a second to think of how to begin. She felt a slight squeeze from his hand and smiled before her face hardened as she spoke again. "That night in the parking lot, I was so thankful for the rain. I walked home alone, crying. I didn't want people giving me pity looks. The rain and the tears mixed…you couldn't tell one from the other. Plus if it had been a nice night, I would have hated the world even more, mocking my relationship failures. I was so mad. I was furious at you and what you said. I wanted to slap you when you started saying you hoped we could still be friends. I can never just be friends with you. My feelings for you go beyond friendship. They went beyond friendship even when I was with Luke. We were never just friends. You want to know what I did that night? I was such a cliché, and I hate myself for it. I went home and drowned my tears in ice cream, lots of ice cream…delicious ice cream, but ice cream none the less. I ate a whole pint of ice cream, while silently crying over you. I cried for hours, I cried until there were no more tears, and then I lay on the floor, staring off at something, but seeing nothing. I stayed there the whole night, in that same position, staring at nothing, feeling nothing. I was numb, I couldn't do anything, I was useless. I felt so stupid for letting myself become so depressed over a relationship. Luckily I had the next day off, a whole day to pull myself together…but I couldn't. I stayed on the floor, staring, occasionally thinking of what I did wrong, but I couldn't come up with anything. I finally gave up, told myself that I didn't need you, I was independent, I didn't need anybody and I pulled myself off the floor and got on with my life. I took a shower, washing away the memories of the night before, ate some food, I even went for a run. I was determined to get over you, forget about us, and I was doing fine, great even…and then you asked for your keys back and I knew I wasn't past it, I hadn't forgotten about it, I had just been fooling myself." She stopped, shaking her head at the memory, crying in the squad car because he asked for his keys back weeks after he had already broken up with her. It shouldn't have hurt, but it did.

He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the large lump clogging it. "Andy, that morning, I wanted to ask for another chance…but I was stupid, arrogant, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I did the opposite of what I wanted. That key was one of the few things still linked us together. I didn't want it, I didn't need it, but for some reason I asked for it. When you chucked it at me that night, I felt like I had just been shot in the vest, it was painful." She chuckled, happy that it was as painful for him as it was for her, "You deserved it." She felt him nod, before continuing, "Sam, that time apart made me realize things. I realized that when I said I loved you in your truck that one day, I had no idea how much I really did. I realized that you have become part of my life, I need you in my life completely, I can't live with only catching glimpses. I can't live without you…which means you can't die. Ever. I know I sound stupid and like the biggest girl ever, but I am utterly and completely in love with you and nothing can change that. I'm serious when I say I'm gonna say it all the time. I love you. I do." She finished with a large sigh. A small nervous chuckle accompanying the escaping air. They were talking, a lot, about very intimate and personal things; this is what a relationship should be like, always sharing your experiences, thoughts, and opinions.

They stared at each other, unable to move their gaze from the others eyes. A couple minutes passed before Andy had the courage to speak again. Trying to lighten the mood, she tried to make a joke about something he had said earlier. "You know, I am having an incredibly hard time picturing your truck filled with crap. And your house, especially after seeing your organizing crisis earlier today…I really must have done a number on you." He smiled at her playful teasing before allowing his face to fall into the serious mask that was usually there. "Don't underestimate your abilities McNally, you ruined me. You want to know what I realized when I was being an idiot and keeping you out of my life? I realized I only want you. Nobody has ever made me feel the way that you do. Now it's my turn to sound like an infatuated teenage girl, but it's true. The moment you told me you loved me, I felt like…it was like…okay, you know when your foot hits a patch of ice and there is that moment when your heart skips a beat because of the fear of falling, but then you're so happy that you didn't fall? It's like that, every single time you say it. It scares me half to death, but I am also extremely happy because I don't land on my butt. I want to live my life to the fullest Andy. I want you to know how much I love you. I want to tell you every day, show you every day, how much I love you."

The staring contest continued for a couple more minutes, composing themselves, letting their words sink in. "Okay. Yes. Let's do it…I mean, we already agreed to do it, but let's do it!" Sam chuckled at her excitement and couldn't help, but tease her, "Should we shake on it too?" She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to hide her smile, but took his extended hand anyways, grasping it tightly and shaking it. "McNally…" his tone was the same warning tone he had used outside the penny after her second day on the job. The situation was similar to that night. She was smiling and closing in on him, he said her name, their mouths were inching closer, but this time she didn't have to worry about her job, getting in trouble, being caught with her training officer. She shifted her body so she was halfway on top of him and took his jaw in her hands and placed a kiss on his lips. She pulled away quickly, looking up to his eyes, "Thank you." She rolled over the top of him, getting her feet securely on the ground before pulling herself off completely. She turned to look at his surprised yet slightly angry expression, "Come on lover boy, I need food." She turned and sauntered into the kitchen leaving him to watch her walk away. As he was pulling himself up off the couch he announced to her in a slightly annoyed tone, "You should be fatter with how much you think about food. You're almost as bad as Oliver." She laughed, but fired back, "Would you still love me if I was fat?" He appeared in the kitchen and leaned against the counter; arms crossed on his chest, and shrugged, "Just more to love, right?" She smiled at his commitment to her, "I'm gonna remember that for when I do get fat."

Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Sorry for the length, but I didn't want to split it randomly in the middle or anything like that. Also sorry for how cheesy this is. It's even worse than the last chapter, but Sam could pretty much have me balling on the floor with only a couple sentences, so the idea of this happening would probably kill me, although I am pretty sure this wouldn't happen, which is why I write fanfiction. Also I am saying this kindly, to the guest reviewer who keeps saying Sam and Andy need a lot more romance; it would help me if you could specify what exactly that entails so I can make it happen. Otherwise, you just get whatever comes out of my head. Please review and tell me what you think. If you want to see anything specific let me know and we'll see if I can use it. Other than that, thank you for continuing to read this! Thanks!