Well, now, Sheldon's got a problem, hasn't he? But he's not the only one with awkward feelings. Penny's just remembered she left something behind and needs to get it back. Quickly!
As always, the overwhelming support and interest in this fic inspires me to keep writing. Thanks for your kind words and dedication! I hope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I am! Oh, and today's fun fact is: In 1928, Russian engineer Leon Theremin invented the Etherphone, a primitive electronic instrument that is played without being touched, but by moving one's hands through the air surrounding it. Don't you feel more enriched already? But wait, there's more...

Penny pushed open her front door and looked warily across the hall, cursing herself for being careless enough to leave her purse in the boys' apartment. Sure, she had to make a grand exit, with her face plastered in purple goo, and stopping to pick it up would have taken what, two seconds? But now, she had to go back after last night's fiasco and try to retrieve it without too much awkwardness. Maybe everybody else got drunk and forgot? Maybe the boys went into a sugar coma and woke up thinking they'd dreamed the whole thing?

Oh God. Dreams. The last thing she wanted to think about. How could she face Leonard, whom she had just started dating again, knowing that she'd been telekinetically ravished by his roommate in an imaginary elevator? She looked at the yellow tape stretched across the long-disabled double doors and whispered a quick word of thanks. She had never been so happy to have to walk up and down the four flights of stairs.

And then there was him. God, please let him be in the shower, or in his room taking a nap, or taking a long bladder-voiding break. Anywhere but the Spot. She dreaded the thought of having to face him today. Maybe tomorrow. Or any day after that. But the images and feelings she had felt the night before were too fresh for her to have to try to deal with any of his crap. Just seeing him, his face, his hands, his eyes…Oh God, she thought again, rubbing her forehead.

As she came to the door of 4A, she drew in a breath, closed her eyes, exhaled, and knocked on the door. For the first time she had been neighbors and friends with the two scientists, she wished she could beam in and out of their room without having to actually talk to them, like they did on one of those space shows…

When Leonard had emerged from his room around 11 that morning, he had been surprised to not see Sheldon in his Spot watching his Doctor Who episodes as was his usual wont. He was even more surprised to see that he had left a wet washcloth on the floor of the shower, and that he had left cold wet footprints from the bath to his room. He also found two half-melted ice cubes on the floor in the kitchen, something that if Leonard had allowed to happen would have earned him a lecture on cleanliness and safety from the punctilious physicist. Apparently, Sheldon was not feeling well, because only sickness could explain his lapse in maintaining the high standards of domesticity outlined in the Roommate Agreement.

He considered knocking on Sheldon's door just to make sure he was alright, but then thought the better of it. Why look a gift Hothean tauntaun in the mouth, he reasoned. Following Han Solo's logic in The Empire Strikes Back, he took the change in routine as a lifesaving respite from the bone-chilling cold of Sheldon's frosty personality.

Leonard was in the midst of a documentary on the invention of the Theremin when he heard Sheldon's door finally open about one o'clock. Get the tea bags and the cough syrup ready, he thought to himself as he prepared for the usual sniffling and whining that accompanied Sheldon's various infirmities. He came out of his room, opened the freezer, and started rummaging through the ice tray in a strangely desperate fashion. Leonard turned to see what the commotion was about and nearly dropped his can of Coke.

There was Sheldon, standing pigeon-toed in front of the refrigerator in his pajamas, holding an ice bag on his genitals.

Leonard tried to process the sight as a thousand awkward questions with equally unpleasant answers floated through his inquisitive mind. Sheldon saved him the indignity by cutting off his line of inquiry before it began.

"Leonard, this isn't what it looks like," Sheldon rambled off in an agitated tone. "And I'm not just saying that like Penny did the morning she and Raj emerged from your room after an obvious night of wild coitus like two libidinous co-eds. There is a logical but very personal reason for this."

"Really?" Leonard asked with a skeptical look. "Because it looks to me like you're icing your balls. Not that I'm saying that's good or bad or anything. It's just…strange. Get a little wild practicing your light saber moves?"

"No, Leonard."

"Try to re-enact the Speeder Bike scenes from Return of the Jedi?"

"Of course not, Leonard."

"Hot cocoa spill?"

"Leonard, you know I never drink hot cocoa this early in the day."

"Hacky sack accident?"

"Don't be absurd, Leonard."

"Unfinished Wet d—"Leonard caught himself, the full weight of his words bearing down on him. His face screwed into a look of disgust. "Please, Sheldon, tell me you did not finally have a—"

"Leonard!" he interjected in a hoarse whisper. "While you may have no compunction about discussing your genitalia in open conversation, I prefer to keep my private areas private. Now please, resume your inane activities and leave me to my…self."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to get between you and your baby blues," looking down at his crotch, then immediately averting his eyes. "It's like a train wreck, I can't not look…"

"Oh, Leonard!" he groused, walking in pained, awkward steps to his room. "Ow. Ow. Ow…"

Leonard plopped back down on the sofa, but his mind was whirling with unpleasantness. How did this happen? Had Sheldon's testicles descended overnight? Did he have a dream about Madame Curie? He tried to concentrate on the swooping sounds of the bizarre instrument playing "Good Vibrations" on the TV, but he could only keep going back to Sheldon's crotch. Good God, I really need to get laid, he thought to himself.

The knock on the door brought him out of his ill-ease. He rose and answered it, pleasantly surprised that it was his girlfriend from across the hall, not only because she refrained from her usual quick entrance after a rapid knock, but also because of his sudden need for her beautiful distraction.

"Penny!" he said, with uncustomary enthusiasm. "Am I glad to see you!"

"Yeah, well, nice to see you, too," she said haltingly. "I just came by to get my purse."

"Oh. Well, come on in." He felt a strange level of formality in the room as she entered. "I was just going to get some Coke. Thirsty?"

"No, I need to get going. I'm working an early shift today. I'll just get it and go." She stood near the door, not wanting to turn it into a full visit.

"Okay, well, I think it's over here," Leonard headed over to the coffee table where the contest had transpired just a little over 12 hours before. "Uh, how's your stomach feeling?"

"Well, after a visit to the porcelain throne, everything came out all right," she said, immediately wincing when she heard herself. She wouldn't dare mention the drinking, the arguing, the bed-sharing, or the horrible night's sleep she had. Not that most of that would've been a surprise to Leonard, who was all too familiar with Penny's late night routine.

"Yeah, I was worried about you, I should've went over there and checked on you, but you seemed pretty upset, and I figured you needed some girl time."

"Well, yeah, I guess I needed some space," she answered, twisting her fingers. "You find it?"

"Yeah," Leonard pulled the purse from behind the table and walked over to her. "Did Sheldon ever…?"

"Apologize?" Penny answered, suddenly becoming irritated. "Of course not, the turd. But I should've known he was too good to lower himself to admitting he was a real flesh and blood human being."

"Oh, he's definitely flesh and blood," Leonard sneered, his face reading a mixture of bemusement and dread.

A question mark formed on Penny's face and she was just about to ask what he meant by the off-color remark when Sheldon burst out of his room in nothing but a T-shirt and Batman underwear.

"Leonard, do you have any water-soluble lubric—" He stopped as he saw Penny and stood like a wounded praying mantis in front of the hallway, his erection distorting the shape of his briefs.

"This isn't what it looks like," he stammered, as Penny turned to look at Leonard, her mouth and eyes opened wide in shock.

"Oh, blast you, you Klingon hussy!" Sheldon bellowed, hobbling back to his room. As his door slammed shut, Penny pointed towards the noise, her mouth still frozen in the shape of an "O."

"Yeah, definitely flesh and blood," Leonard sniffed, his face pinched in a look of discomfort.