Insanewelshangel: ………..♥

Over 50 reviews…I love you. You're all nuts 8D And you're all so nice. No one hit me across the head with a stick or anything.

Disclaimer: I took some references from different fairytales, they're recognisable and don't belong to me. If they did then I'd be rich enough to wear socks. My feet are bloody cold.

When he was younger, and heard the old tales of Happily Ever After and Once Upon A Time, Rei would fall asleep and dream of such fairytales happening to him. He would be the knight in shining armour and would climb strands of gold to rescue the princess from the dragon. He would be the poor orphan boy to pull the sword from the stone. He would be the hero. Unfortunately, as children grow older, they forget how great it was to simply imagine a different world, where you could fly and never worry about falling. They no longer lie flat on their back on the overgrown grass, barefoot and staring up at the sky and laughing with their friend about the shapes of the clouds.

Look, there's a rabbit—Oh, and a train!

Where? I just see Neverland.

Why was it so hard to find Neverland and tigers in the sky now? When did he stop believing that Peter Pan would appear at his window one night and ask him to become a lost boy? When did he stop staring vainly at the sea, hoping to see a mermaid? It is a time adults want to go back to –their childhood—just so they can believe in such silly things again. Now, if someone said 'I just saw a fairy!' Rei wouldn't believe them, and would reply with 'Fairies don't exist, they're not real'

Then…why do some adults believe in angels? If it's so easy to tell a child that Fairies and Peter Pan isn't real, why do they say they have a guardian angel, when they are just as make believe as Neverland? Adults didn't seem to understand that it is real, because Neverland is the place where children dream and believe before their innocence gets snatched away by the world. Rei often caught himself daydreaming about his childhood. When he hadn't heard of drugs or murder or terrorists or been afraid of people a certain religion because the newspapers told him to. Back when his day just revolved around catching a new insect and maybe playing a trick or two with his friends.

Vampires, werewolves, ghouls and things that go bump in the night- they were all in the past. Now it was about bills to pay, taxes, finding a decent job where you don't feel like wishing you weren't alive. Rei was lucky and unlucky in that his age was where he could still hold on just the slightest to Neverland but knew his grip was slipping everyday. Instead of being awed by tales of deities and miracles (which he only thought about as a child for about seven minutes because there were places to be explored and girls to scare) he now thought them over and concluded it was just another story—a fairytale.

But, when he found Kai, it was like finding a piece of Neverland. Kai was a fairytale personified. But, he wasn't the sweet, heroic tales that mothers and fathers told their precious babies before tucking them in. He was the fairytales that were never read. The dark, shadowed stories about a lifetime of looking through a window in a tower and wishing for a knight to come save you. The fairytales people didn't want to hear.

Rei never asked Kai what he believed in. Kai didn't seem the sort to make believe or dream. Rei frowned at that, it most be horrible to never dream. To never escape. The ebony haired boy wondered if he was selfish, he wanted to keep hold of Kai forever because Kai allowed him to believe in fairytales again, he made Rei think about Happily Ever After and True Love--even though Kai didn't believe in it. Rei could still dream though, right?

The neko-jin tucked the runaway strands of ebony behind his ear and gazed critically at the floor length mirror currently showing his reflection. Kai was seated on the bed behind him, reading a book. He was only there because Rei needed help in choosing an outfit and wouldn't leave Kai alone until he got the bluenette's approval. Upon seeing Kai still interested in his book, Rei glowered and stomped back to the bathroom to try something else on. The elder boy sighed, rather patiently, and shut the book with a sharp snap.

"Why does it matter how you look?"

"Because, today is a day I…nargh stupid trousers…have to go somewhere important and ….ugh…I want to look presenta-oh bugger! I need to lose weight! That's it!" Kai merely raised an eyebrow as Rei trudged back into the room, tugging at the zip of his trousers hastily, making no progress through his harsh actions "No more chocolate for me, its just salad from now on, and I have to go to the gym and exercise! How could I let myself go? Ugh! Stupid things! Fit!"

Kai watched the boy steadily lose his patience until he flung himself onto the bed in anger, ranting about having a big butt and that he 'shouldn't have had that extra biscuit' while still tugging at the zip pathetically. Kai, looking bored, bent over Rei and shook his head.

The younger pouted "What?"

"You are stupid"

"What?" Rei repeated, only this time he sounded offended instead of immature.

Kai smirked slightly "You are not 'fat' at all, except for your head, but that has nothing to do with weight."

Rei nudged Kai's side with his elbow and sat up. He tugged at the zip again, with calm movements this time, and sprung up to gaze at himself once more "Ah, perfect!" Kai went back to reading, rubbing his forehead in exasperation. A while later, Rei finally declared he was done and spread his arms out and turned slowly. "How do I look?"

Wondering why he was even wasting his time, Kai flicked his red eyes up and grunted in some sort of approval. Rei smiled, nervously smoothing his black long-sleeved jacket down and fingering the buttons that blended in with the material. In all honesty, he did look fine. Black trousers, black jacket, white shirt –though that was hardly visible- and one silver dangly earring with a cross on the end.

"Black?" It was a rare colour to see on the boy.

"Hmm" Rei sat down once more on the crispy bed sheets and anxiously bit the edge of his sleeve "I'm going to the cemetery…and…I…well I hate going on my own, it makes me feel so lonely and so, um-"

Kai cocked an eyebrow and Rei released what could only be described as an uneasy giggle "You want me to join you" It wasn't a question but Rei nodded meekly, ducking his head as though he had done something wrong.

"You don't have to if you don't want to! I'm not forcing you or anything, you can do whatever you want and-"

"Whatever," Kai interrupted, standing and opening the door "All you have to do is ask. I'm not a charity case. I want to pay you back somehow, even if it's just by walking somewhere"

"Ok so," Rei swung his arms to and fro before clapping them together once and letting them drop to his sides "Let's go!" Pausing only to grab an umbrella, the prepared flowers and his house keys, Rei quickly marched out of the room with Kai following not too far behind.

The walk was silent as per usual. Nothing new and exciting. Rei was alright with that because anything new from Kai followed with Rei trying to figure things out and then get a headache. The sunny eyed male gripped the umbrella tightly as though it was a life line, all the lovely weather was now disappearing into rain and wind and cold hands. Speaking of cold hands, Rei had a sneaky suspicion his would be blue by the time they returned home. Either Kai was a mind reader or Rei showed his discomfort more than he first thought as the bluenette took the bundle of flowers and white umbrella off Rei soundlessly, and then smirked as an explanation when Rei shot him a surprised look. Rei smiled brightly and immediately rubbed his hands together in a vain attempt to warm them up.

"It's not too far, just pass the school and up the hill" Rei broke the silence and cupped his hands over his mouth to blow warm, moist air onto them. If Kai had found just one thing out about Rei, it was that he was terribly sensitive to the weather.

Kai mildly wondered why Rei just didn't drive, that is until they had to cross the street and he caught Rei glaring after the vehicle that had just sped past. Rei automatically reached out and tugged on Kai's sleeve as they crossed the road. He supposed it wasn't a good thing that Kai didn't shrug him off, because even though Kai didn't say 'don't touch me' he didn't respond any other way either. Why would he? It wasn't as though they were madly in love. Still when the ebony haired male realised his hand was still gripping Kai's sleeve, he couldn't help but smile and think of how he'd get a glare if Kai saw him smiling. The glares and scowls amused the neko-jin for the most part now, because they were part of Kai's normal expressions and didn't come across as negatively as the words led to believe.

"I'm so bloody cold!" Rei muttered bitterly, shooting a furtive glance at Kai who, as ever, looked indifferent. The bluenette glanced at Rei and looked back ahead with a twinkle in his eye. The action made the tanned youth's insides feel warm but it didn't do anything for his outside "I miss the sun" He said grumpily, eyeing up Kai's nearest arm like it was a special delicacy.

"Complaining doesn't help"

"Oh! I know that," Rei beamed, then swooped in and locked his arm around Kai's, relishing in the body heat emitting from the elder "But it makes me feel better"

If Kai had any objections to Rei being clingy he didn't voice them. If it would actually shut the boy up then Kai would willingly sacrifice the feeling in his arm. Narrowing his rouge eyes, he could make out the beginnings of a large black set of gates. In truth, cemeteries aren't always depressing or scary, like people think. They are actually calm, serene places and are more often then not very scenic. Rei considered Kai was like a cemetery. There was a gate--to stop people knowing him, there was death but also life, they were haunting but had a sense of safety--like there was someone looking over you, and it was where heaven touched earth. All in all: Misunderstood.

The large gates were padlocked and for a moment Kai thought they would have to head back until Rei steered off to the side of the foreboding gates to where a smaller gate was swung open. "That one is only used for cars. Stops people coming here and doing stupid things" Rei explained, nodding at the padlock and walking down the main pathway.

About thirty feet away was a war memorial and a grand large statue of an angel. The angel's face was lying upon a stone block and its arms strung around it protectively, the names of fallen men carved upon the stone the angel graced, its form of one greatly sorrowed. Its face was slightly worn but still full of raw beauty of delicacy that angels are known for. The robes carved so it appeared as though the wind was dancing by, the curls upon the angel's head rippled elegantly. It was clearly a female, which was oddly laughable. Weren't women always seen as evil in most religions? And now, here was a replica, acting like a saviour of the souls roaming the cemetery. How ironic.

Kai slowed his footsteps as though reluctant to move further and a deep scowl etched itself onto his lips.

Rei looked back and forth Kai and the angel, from a cynical glare to stone still eyes. He frowned curiously "Something wrong? Is the angel bothering you?" He joked, it was a weak joke and he knew it.

Kai made a 'feh' noise and gestured for Rei to continue, holding up the umbrella like he'd use it if Rei didn't do what he said. Mockingly raising his hands in defence, Rei teetered off the path and walked upon the soft, squishy grass between various graves until meeting his destination. Rei crouched down, picked up the small pot that would hold the flowers and disappeared to refill it with non-muddy water. Kai idly twisted the umbrella in one hand as he waited for his companion's return. He glanced at the headstone and read 'Ami Satchou 1941-2006' was she his grandmother? The name wasn't Chinese but he never knew Rei's family background after all.

"She was my neighbour" Rei explained on his return.

The bluenette didn't react in any other way but holding out the flowers. The other nimbly placed the pot down and crouched again at the foot of the grave. Kai's eyes kept drifting back to the angel, her eyes turned towards where they were. He had to congratulate whoever modelled her. She really did look as though she was watching their every move, protecting the fallen ones that lay sleeping in their permanent beds of wood and dirt. She looked like a distraught mother, and all of these graves contained just another of her still born. He ducked his head and avoided the statue's gaze. Rei was too busy sorting out the flowers.

Clearing his throat, Kai spoke quietly "I'm just going for a walk"

Rei looked up with a smile "Ok, I'll be right here" Watching Kai walk away, Rei turned to the statue and cocked his head to the side. With a slight pout, he shrugged and returned to his work. Rei felt safe here. The statue made him feel safe and shielded from harm. Pushing it out of his mind, he pulled a clean tissue from his pocket and wiped the dust from the plain headstone, working hard to remove parts of dead grass from the foot of it. He did all of this with a sad smile. He came every month to bring new flowers and clean the headstone of his old neighbour. She was the sweet sort, and helped him when he first arrived in the street, making him feel at home. Her grandson had died a couple of months before he moved there—he was her only family. It was a truly sad thought that she had left with no one to visit her; Rei took it upon himself to look after this lone, barren grave.

After completing the job, he settled back onto his heels to admire the pretty flowers that consisted of bright yellows, warm oranges and delicate snowdrops. He sighed and let the calm atmosphere wash over him. Yes, he hated coming to places like this on his own, but secure with the knowledge that Kai wasn't far away he could relax and enjoy the serenity. This was one of the only places he knew where everything was so quiet. Most say the silence of cemeteries is linked to death but he thinks it's more out of respect, that this is the final resting place so it should be soundless.

The falling of quiet footsteps brought Rei's attention back; he stood up wiping his hands on his trousers as he did and turned around. "Ready? Let's g-" Rei blinked down at a little girl. She stared up at him, clutching tightly to her black haired doll in a long white dress, similar to the black one she was wearing. "Are you lost? Where's your mother?" He asked gently, looking around and kneeling down so he was almost the same height as the child. Her eyes flashed when he moved but settled into their placid pools of oblivion when she saw he meant no harm. She didn't speak but kept staring at him. Rei scratched the back of his neck, feeling awkward. "What's your name? I'm R-"

She made a noise in the back of her throat, stopping him from speaking. She had pure white-gold hair in one straight sheet down her back and her eyes were of the lightest blue. With a smile, she raised her pale right hand and pointed it in a southerly direction. Rei turned his head, eyes regarding her with puzzlement before turning to where she had pointed. Maybe her family was there? He frowned seeing no one, just the stone angel, but she remained pointing at it.

"Over there?" He questioned and she nodded eagerly. Standing up slowly, he held his hand out "It's ok" He told her, taking the tiny hand in his. Smiling friendly down at her, he walked over to the war memorial, hoping to find her mother soon. She tugged his hand to make him bend down and looked at her. "The angel?" She smiled, and left his side to duck underneath the barriers of the memorial and tip toe her way till she was right up against the stone on which the angel laid. She looked over her shoulder as a signal for Rei to follow. Uncertainty built up in his chest but he did what she silently asked and was soon enough by her side.

She blinked once and reached up, Rei thought she was going to touch his face but her hand went past him to hardly reach the memorial. She pointed to the tarnished golden plates bearing the soldiers names, widening her light orbs at him. The boy's face scrunched up in bewilderment. She tapped harder. Rei inspected where she tapped but found nothing out of the ordinary there. Guessing he still didn't know, she let out a frustrated sigh—if it could be called that, Rei was sure it was just the wind. Finally moving her stare away, she looked over the names of the dead soldiers, her forehead crinkling in concentration. She wound her way around the block, found what she was looking for and tapped one name, cuddling the doll to her chest. Rei tilted his head to the side and read.

Tsubasa

"Do I have to find someone by that name?" He questioned, "I don't understand" Rei groaned, placing his hand to his forehead, as he grew tired.

"Don't understand what?"

Rei jumped upon hearing the deep husky voice "Kai! There you are. I was talking to this girl," He gestured to beside him. Kai gave him a 'what are you on about?' look. Rei looked down.

The girl wasn't there.

XPXPXP

"Why don't you believe in love?" The boy frowned, staring up to the night sky.

"I've given up on it. I don't want it" The other replied. The younger boy scrunched up his nose, as though he had expected that answer and was disappointed at the predictability of the elder.

"But…don't you believe in true love?" He tried casually, nudging the brooding man with his elbow.

"…who said true love can't be wrong?"

"Who said it can't be right?" The boy countered, staring into the eyes he had looked into everyday for three years, with steely determination. The man did something that was between a smile and a smirk and ruffled the boy's hair "I believe in it!" He tried, widening his eyes but he got no response. The young one sighed sadly and returned to staring at the stars silently with his companion.

XPXPXP

It was raining.

The world outside was nothing but a desolate dream smothered by tears. Not one person could be seen outside. It was like they were the only two people left, standing on the edge of the world with only ravens flying ahead, singing along to the misery the rain brought one of them. But for once the rain was slightly welcomed; it matched his equally cloudy mind.

What had happened to that little girl?

Was she in the rain now?

Why did she disappear when Kai came back?

The bluenette didn't say anything about the Little Lost Girl incident. Indeed he had kept his lips tightly shut all the way back and promptly locked himself within his room and hadn't come out since. Rei closed the curtains in the living room, blocking out a world he didn't want to see right now, and settled back onto the comfy sofa to watch anything on television that would rid his mind of the unwanted questions flying around inside of it. He flicked through the channels in a daze, stopping randomly to watch the latest music video of some famous person he didn't care to name. He changed the channel as the singer sang the same lyric for the twenty sixth time to end up watching a small talk filler the channel put between shows- lasting approximately five minutes. Two musicians stood side by side laughing and smiling. Rei manage a small smile at the friendship, part of their conversation drifted into his tired brain.

"-Getting tattoos just to appear more-"

Rei flinched. Tattoos. He found his eyes roaming around to look at the stairs, leading up to where Kai was. His chest had healed remarkably well, Rei was surprised at how clean and fast the recovery was. He shrugged, his fingers twitching momentarily. Rei told himself that he wasn't missing Kai. Only he was. A lot.

"Ngargh" He whimpered, slumping further into the sofa and kicking his shoes off to curl his legs underneath his body. A pout steadily made its way onto his full lips after his rather large yawn. Was it so bad that he just wanted someone to love? Was there something wrong with him? Why didn't people like him that way? He was sick of always being the friend. That was one of the reasons his relationship --or lack of-- with Kai made him smile. They couldn't be called friends, or lovers, or even companions. After all they were still mostly strangers, but even strangers had bonds with each other. If curiosity died Kai would have left Rei heartbroken a long time ago. But because of the questions and new wonders, everyday was different from the last. It wasn't always a good thing but it kept life fresh.

Rei's mind slipped into twilight--that place between being awake and asleep--becoming full of white, harmless clouds and sand crystals that looked like stars that had fallen from the sky. A small, short sigh left his reddish-rosy lips as his head rolled onto the arm of the settee, his body slipped further down across the width of the sofa. Finally giving into emotional exhaustion, Rei fell further into unconsciousness. A dream easily filled up his mind.

In his dream he could hear someone singing. No lyrics or words just 'La' over and over again to a tune to break hearts. Whoever the singer was, they accompanied a beautifully clear piano; the melody was almost 'Green sleeves' but not quite. It was a simple and sorrowful song; each note from the singer was individual, with a subtle pause afterward. It wasn't peculiar; the time between didn't require to be filled. The dream itself was black and white with shades of grey; now and then there would be a rare splash of intense misplaced colour. The dream took place in what appeared to be a garden, the type you'd find in old castle grounds. With hedges taller than his house and neat bundles of flowers scattered around. The singer suddenly stopped, as though realising someone else was present, but the pianist carried on. Cool and clear and still painfully breathtaking. Whoever was playing was a master. Laughter was heard behind the hedge where the music was coming from. Just a little more and he would be able to see--

Rei's eyes fluttered open.

He closed his eyes again straight afterwards, raising a hand to lazily run through his hair. His eyes rapidly sprung open again as he sat up and looked towards the door, feeling that someone else was there. Kai stood at the door, having just come down the stairs. Rei let out a relieved tuneless laugh and flopped back onto the settee.

"Ah, you scared me" He grinned, patting the remaining space on the settee for Kai to sit.

"Here" Kai said quietly once he had sat down. He nudged Rei's leg with the familiar battered book the Chinese boy had lent him. Rei flipped the book open and traced a slender finger down the first page, before smiling and placing it on the coffee table before them.

Kai looked at Rei's face, his smile, the hair falling into his eyes and wondered just what the boy was smiling about. Nothing funny or particularly happy had happened and yet he still smiled. He was probably as much as a mystery to Kai as Kai was to him. That smile was an odd thing, it made the bluenette confused. It left him wondering.

"What makes you happy?"

Kai turned his orbs from Rei at the softly spoken question. Rei turned a little in his seat to face the elder better, tilting his head to the side slightly to rest it on the back of the sofa. He felt a strange sadness swell up in his chest as he noticed Kai's pondering expression.

It wasn't a hard question.

Why did he have to think about it?

Why did he look so lost? Rei thought that it was one of the easiest questions in the world to answer-- Being with family, eating ice cream in front of the TV, white clouds in the sky, someone laughing, feeling alive. It was terrible, who had to struggle to think of an answer to that? It was…

What did make him happy?

Oh, don't be foolish.

Happiness is something humans feel. It is a feeling for people who are decent. Who are alive. He doesn't deserve happiness. Disgusting. Pathetic.

He's nothing. Do you really think he's capable of anything human? He can't feel. He can't cry, he can't laugh, and he can't scream or shout, he can't dance in the rain or act silly.

He can't love.

Really, what has he got to be happy about?

"Kai?" The bluenette ran a hand through his hair, it was weird, he couldn't think of anything! Rei bit his bottom lip, feeling rather scared for the man. "Well, I'll tell you what makes me happy. Cooking. Because I'm creating something, something that wouldn't exist if it wasn't for me. Haven't you ever created something you're proud of?"

Kai rapidly searched his mind. There had to be something. Something. Once upon a time. When he used to sing, when he used to lie on the grass and turn his face up to the sun. He had to have had that at least. "I-" He was …?

"Yeah?"

"I…" Nothing. He couldn't even come up with something good he had done. Something he had given to the world without expecting anything back.

Now, statistically that'd make him a bad person. Is he a bad person? Well? Think about it. All his life (that has been shared in this twisted tale so far) he has done nothing to show he is a hero. The moral and upright guy that he should be. The world loves heroes. Who cares about the people who can't build up courage, who are afraid of the dark, who don't want to be amazing? As long as we have our hero, then the world has something to hope for. Someone to point at and go 'Our Saviour'.

Kai is not a hero. He is not a saviour. Basically, he's worthless. No one needs him. How horrible that must be.

And you still don't understand, do you?

"Kai?" Rei really did feel scared now. Not for himself but for Kai. Rei isn't a hero either, but at least he's wanted.

"I…I haven't done anything worth remarking."

"Well…that's not true!" The neko-jin stated softly, as though the silence was a thread holding their lives together, and anything harsh would break it. "You've created tons of ideas, questions and thoughts for me! You've given me company, you've been kind-" Kai made a noise of sarcastic disbelief here "And, you are interesting"

Interesting.

Kai looked at Rei. Rei looked back.

And for the first time, Rei knew he had just said something Kai wanted to believe.

XPXPXP

The gentle sea-spray hitting his face was what heaven could never compare to.

Heaven did not include choices, and sunsets, and freshly-cut grass, you could not fall in love in heaven. The boy smiled to himself as the waves melted around his legs, beckoning him closer. Coaxing him to step-more-yes-like-that and drown oh so sweetly so his charming innocent smile could be lost to the sea.

"What-" A familiar voice behind him called leisurely "Are you doing?"

The young boy twirled around with twinkling eyes "Why? Are you going to save me?"

The older man snorted and walked away, shaking his head. "I'm not a hero"

The boy waded out of the cold water and sank slightly into the sand, making it awfully hard to catch up to the elder "I was just thinking. When angels fall from heaven, do they land in the sea?"

The sea? No, that'd be merciful.

Insanewelshangel: Ah, I'm getting more attached to this story. Sorry about the late update yet again. I honestly haven't been on fanfic for ages. So I've missed stories and stuff. I've also had a new computer; it was a nightmare transferring all my files from one computer to another. And I've started Sixth Form at school, and bloody hell I didn't know how much homework I'd get.

I had a dumb moment earlier on; I misread what was on my brother's pot of hair wax. I thought it said Fibre Puberty instead of Fibre Putty. My first thought after reading was: Wow, they can bottle anything these days.

D: I am le smart.

By the way please don't think that this is going to be cliché because of that little blond girl. Can't explain more because I'd give things away. But it's not your typical 'smart random wise child' sort of thing. Promise.

Typos are evil. Ignore them, and I mean ignore them. Please. Reviews are, as always, loved muchly.