Alternate Title: Where I torture Dick some more
Wally put the dirty dishes into the sink and started filling the sink. He smiled as Bruce's large arms encircled him pulling him close.
"Thanks for dinner." Bruce rumbled in his ear as Bruce's hands started stroking down his stomach.
"You say that, yet you stop me cleaning up." Wally joked as he turned his head for a kiss.
Bruce complied, making it as deep as he could at their angle. "Leave it. I'll finish up after." He told his lover when they broke the kiss to get some air.
"I don't know. Alfred warned me never to let you near the kitchen." Wally grinned back.
"Alfred also wouldn't approve of what you seem to think are appropriate kitchen activities."
"Well I suppose I did have to let you into the kitchen then." Wally turned around and cupped Bruce's firm ass.
"If we repeat it do you think the kitchen will remain still standing?" Bruce said with an amused glint in his eyes.
"I wouldn't call it cleaning up but I'm willing to see what could happen." Wally leaned up and captured Bruce's mouth again, groaning as they got the proper angle this time and their tongues brushed against each other.
"Hey Walls, guess who managed to find an all night babysitter?" Dick's voice called out from the doorway, it started out cheerful but went up in pitch at babysitter.
Wally broke the and rested his head on Bruce's shoulder. "Seriously Dick, you have the worst timing ever. Worse than uncle Barry, and that's saying something." He uttered around the shoulder under him.
Roy's chuckle froze both men in the kitchen. "Yeah he always was a bit of a dick blocker."
Wally looked up to confirm that, yes, that was his other oldest friend standing beside a red faced Dick in his sitting room and, no, he didn't recognise Bruce. Sighing Wally gave a weak smile. "Heya Roy, long time no see."
"Well I been busy. So have you it seems. Not going to -" Roy stopped in shock as Bruce turned around to face him and Dick. "Batman?!"
"Hello Roy." Bruce's voice was as calm as ever as he took in the two gym bags and groceries. "I better go and let you three talk."
"Bruce," Wally started but was cut off.
"It's probably for the best." Bruce have him a quick kiss before leaving in to whisper in his ear. "Try to get Dick to call before coming over in future. Stop this before it becomes a regular thing." Then he gathered up his coat and walked out part Roy, who seemed rooted to the spot.
When the door was closed Roy woke up from his shock and looked at Wally. "What the fuck? Please tell me you are not fucking the Bat?"
Wally looked at Dick. "Tell me you brought beer."
Dick put down his bag and took out a case of Sol. "I have beer."
"Great, because I am not having this conversation without it." Wally said. He took out a bottle opener before walking over to sit on his couch, grabbing a bottle on his way. He looked over at Roy. "Yes I am fucking Bruce."
Dick choked and got his own bottle. "Dude, I need at least three shots before I can hear that."
"Wally, he's twice your age." Roy said, still standing near the door, but put down his own bag.
Wally gestured towards the chair beside him. Roy sat down in it after taking a big gulp of one of the bottles. "Roy, it's only twelve years. It's not that bad, honest."
"No it is that bad. We've known him since we were kids. Damn, when I heard on the crook grapevine about it, I thought no, Wally's not that dumb. Guess I was wrong."
"I seriously need to go talk to Cold, this is getting out of hand." Wally pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"No what's out of hand is you dating fucking Batman." Roy spit back immediately, before taking another long pull on his beer.
"Roy, I care for him, he cares for me. Does it really matter about anything else?" Wally asked.
"Bruce has seemed happier the last month or so." Dick injected for the first time, already on his second drink.
"Yeah and this is Bruce, Dick. How long before goes and screws this up? He hasn't exactly got the best track record on personal relationships." Roy said finishing off his bottle and taking another.
"I know that, Roy. Believe me, out of all of us, I know. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but they deserve a chance."
Wally beamed over at Dick. "Thanks man, that means a lot coming from you."
"Yeah well, I meant it when I said you two might, might, do each other some good." Dick smiled ruefully back.
"Yeah and it could do Wally a lot of harm in the end too." Roy said, but he sounded resigned.
"Does that mean you're going to stop bitching and just be there for me?" Wally asked, tone switching to amused.
"Who else is going to say I told you so when it crashes and burns? I'll even make the promise to beat him up if you promise not to collect on it." Roy shrugged at him.
"I think I can do that." Wally held out his bottle for them to bump.
Dick sighed in relief when the two clinked bottles and finished their drinks off. He chucked two more at them taking out his third
Roy quirked an eyebrow at him. "Going a little hard there aren't you, Dickie bird?"
"Only because I don't think we're finished discussing my Dad's romantic life." He said back taking a pointedly big gulp.
"I'm not happy about it, but we've worked it out. Right Wally?" Roy looked over at the redhead who bobbed his head.
"Yeah we've worked it out, but I really want to know what Cold has been saying. You're the second person who heard from him first."
Roy started to say something, before he looked thoughtful and pierced Wally with his gaze. "Yeah actually, how does he know if I didn't first?"
Wally blushed and looked away. "He found out at Flash Appreciation Day last month. I chased him into a back room where some fans were dressed up as Flash and Batman were. For some reason fan Flash was busy plowing into fan Batman. Cold was -"
"Wally! I am not drunk enough to hear the words plowed and Batman in the same sentence." Dick covered his red cheeks and groaned as Roy started a wild laugh at his horrified friend. "I think I need something stronger than beer. Tell me you have spirits."
"I do but Bart gave it to me, so its speedster only. Just chug that beer and start another. Really it doesn't get any worse than that. Honestly Cold was as traumatised as you were. So I did my usual banter about how it was the other way around. It shocked him enough for me to knock him out. I actually didn't think he'd believe me at all, but Bats himself showed up. Next thing he was tied up watch as we made out."
"Wally, I can't believe Bruce let you get away with that. You're lucky he didn't break up there and then." Dick rolled his eyes at his friends presumed idiocy.
"Actually Dick, he started it. I think once you knew he didn't seem to mind who found out."
A low deep laugh had all three men on their feet to face the bedroom door. A tall, wide figure emerged, showing himself to be none other than Jason Todd.
"Jay, what are you doing here?" Dick asked cautiously, batarang firmly in hand raised defensively.
"Confirming a rumour." Jason smirked evilly coming closer to the men. "You know I like finding all of Bruce's weaknesses. Can't help it if I find it hilarious he's being so open with this one."
"Jason, you are to stay away from Wally." Dick glared at his younger brother.
"Piss off, Golden Boy, I'll do what I want." Jason shot back hand starting to reach for one of his knives.
"Come on, Jaybird, leave Wally out of your feud." Roy put his gun away and touched Jason's arm lightly.
"Guys, I can actually take care of myself. Hard and all that is to believe." Wally said exasperated.
"Think you can take me on, fly boy?" Jason smirked over at him.
"God no, but I can run away really really fast." Wally smiled gently over at him. "But right now, I think possibly a bribe and a truce might be better. Join us."
Wally picked up a bottle and threw it over to Jason who caught it automatically while looking somewhere between amused and confused. Wally picked his bottle back up and sat down in the middle of the couch. "Maybe you can come up with some good ideas for getting back at Cold for running his mouth everywhere."
Roy sat back down immediately, happy that the threat had been avoided, but Dick stood for another couple of minutes glaring down Jason seemingly having a silent conversation with him. Sighing himself he sat down beside Wally and picked up his bottle setting his batarang quite obviously on the table. Jason smirked and took a swig of his drink. Instead of taking the last remaining seat he sat firmly in Roy's lap.
"So do I get something if I do leave your buddy alone?" He said facing Roy, so the other two couldn't see his teasing smile.
"Something could be arranged." Roy smirked back before taking Jason's mouth in a rough kiss.
Wally flinched as the spray from Dick spitting out his drink hit his cheek. "Jason! Roy! Oh god, I don't know who to start on first."
Wally shook his head and looked at Roy smirking over at them. "And you gave out about Bats and I? No leg to stand on anymore."
"This is different." Roy said defensively.
"Yeah, no it's not. So you don't comment on Bats, I don't comment on this. Though I think the I'll make the same promise you did."
"Agreed." Roy laughed. He looked over at Dick, who remained sputtering. "I think we broke Dickie bird though."
They all turned to face Dick, how had wiped his mouth and hid behind his hands. "Oh god, am I the only straight one in this family?"
Jason snorted. "Only cause you were blind to everybody's interest, Dickiebird. Coulda been you and Walls right now if you paid any attention."
Wally went bright red as Dick gaped like a fish. "Walls?"
"Two words, green hotpants. Besides I got over that crush pretty quickly when Bats had to rescue us from Riddler that time." Wally muttered into his beer.
"Oh come on, there was months of you blushing cutely when we dropped Goldie over there off at the Tower, so it can't have been that short. And really, Dickie bird, I saw it when I was twelve, how did you miss it." Jason snorted at both of them, still happily draped in Roy's lap.
Wally leaned back to look at the ceiling, steadily avoiding the gaze of his friends and looking at the bugs he knew Bruce had planted. "It wasn't Dick the blush was for guys. It was for the big old Bat himself."
"WHAT?" All three other men shouted simultaneously.