So. 22 reviews. I didn't scream like I did at 19, because no one was around to hear. Except the dog and the dog would have started barking. I think I'm most proud of this reaction: "'Agent Coulson is not a robot. Do not throw magnets at him to see if they stick' I just spit my Earl Grey tea on my monitor. Feh. " I love you chatnoir1. Kinda reminds me of when I was doing a 'Canada's hinterland' thing my now-boyfriend's dad, and left this little gem while the BF was off brushing his teeth: "While sleeping, the Bruce-us Dearest-us makes a noise not unlike that of a motorcycle backfiring." Matt came wandering in from the bathroom and spat tooth paste all over his laptop. I was, and am, unreasonably proud of myself.

Just because I got a whole lotta different theories on the subject, decided to write a follow up piece! And without further ado, please enjoy Gladys' debrief meeting with everyone's favorite Agent!

"Good morning Agent Scott," said Agent Coulson.

"Good morning Agent Coulson," I replied, "Cookie? it's chocolate chip."

"Thank you." He took the cookie and gestured at the chair. "Have a seat."

So I did, and nibbled on my own treat. White chocolate macadamia. Yum. I used to get them after I'd talked to a professor at school. I went from being terrified at the prospect of discussing my academic career to actually being excited. It had yet to work for being called into the office of ninjas though.

"I'd like to hear your report on yesterday's events."

Yesterday? What on earth happened yesterday?

"The magnets," added Agent Coulson.

"Oooo, that event. Well, I was walking, and then I tripped, some magnets stuck to you and I got burned."

"Do you know why you tripped?"

"Noo? I guess I just randomly fell over. Happens to everyone, right?"

Agent Coulson made a note. I took a tiny bite of cookie and tried to calm down.

"Why do you think they stuck? I didn't think second graders used rare earth magnets."

"Maybe the clay melted to your coat? But the only thing that would melt that fast are polyesters, and you wear stuff that's too high quality for that."

"Any other theories?"

"The nurses who treated me said you were a Terminator- do you need their names?"

"Yes please."

I listed them. "Gonna check where they are in the grand scheme of the rumour mill?" Cept that metaphor didn't quite work due to the lack of measurables. "Er, grapevine?"

Agent Coulson smiled slightly. "You don't have the clearance to know that information."

"Right. Sorry. Didn't mean to insinuate anything I'm so sorry-,"

"Agent Scott, I know you were asking to avoid making it out to seem like you were tattling."

I felt a little better.

"Any other theories?"

"You have metal thread in your clothes- I thought silver but it's not nearly magnetic enough." I shuttered to a stop. "I thought- well, not me, it was- the nurses suggested it- Because you may be a vampire hunter and you could just pull out a thread like that-." I vaguely mimed wielding a string. "But it can't be silver so you're probably not a vampire hunter or handler or whatever unless the whole 'weak to silver' thing is a myth and it's actually steel but then the Dark Ages would've stayed dark- Because the vampires would take over," I added hastily.

"Iron would work," Agent Coulson suggested, "You aren't in the labs often enough to have it cued."

Oh thank the heavens above that I didn't have to butcher a "please don't think I'm stupid".

"You're in to Cognitive Science?" I asked.

"Only when it's useful."

"So, basically all of it? Cogsci's always useful."

"Anything else?"

"Thor made you a suit of armour- like a really thin, really light chain mail shirt." I let my eyes light up to emphasize the next part: "the very best Asgard has to offer." Next part wasn't so fascinating: "either for the funeral or as a thank you gift... From Thor or the All Father or from the... All Mother, or even from all of Asgard." (1) I took a deep breath. "Is this how this works?"

"If this is your perspective, then yes, 'this' is how 'this' works." He finished writing. "Is that all?"

My pulse ramped up.

"So, I know- I mean- it's obvious you always try to do a good- you're always on top of your game. After the, um,"

"Tesseract incident?"

"Uh, well, more specific than that-,"

"After Director Fury faked my death?"

The steel bars around my chest loosened considerably and I felt a lot less like I was about to keel over, die, or be killed.

"Yea, after that, you may have come back to active duty for a couple weeks or a couple days or /something/ and found you were lacking- but only from our perspective of course or the doctors recommended you sit out a little longer because the stress was messing with your injury- injuries? Not that stress is a problem for you- because you handle it so well, I'm not saying this isn't a stressful job unless it is stressful-,"

"Agent Scott, would you like an ice pack?"

I nodded.

Agent Coulson pressed a button on his phone and connected with his assistant. A few moments later she came in with a tightly wrapped towel and, when Agent Coulson nodded, handed it to me.

"Thank you very much," I said.

"Thank you Agent Chani," said Agent Coulson.

I unzipped my jacket and fitted the ice pack between the small of my back and the chair.

"How do magnets and a leave of absence relate?"

"There's a life model decoy of you running around while you recuperate a bit more?" (2)

Agent Coulson made a note of this too. "Thank you very much Agent Scott, that will be all."

I shot to my feet. "You're very welcome sir, uh, what would you have me do with the ice pack?"

Agent Coulson said 'not "Return it to Agent Chani when you're done with it."

"When would that be?"

He looked up. "Are you feeling any less stressed about the heat?"

Not really, no.

"I'll take your silent to mean 'no' or 'not really'. Keep it close until you cool down, and then bring it by tomorrow."

I bowed jerkily. "Thank you very much sir. Uh, have a nice lunch."

"You're welcome Agent Scott, and likewise."

"Thank you sir, I'll do my best." And that sounded like I nice finale, so I slipped out the door, smiled at Agent Chani, and scurried away.

I don't think this chapter was very good for my health. I got so flustered, and then my boyfriend's mom came over with all these presents for me from him and they kept asking me to call/Skype him but he was in the shower so I couldn't really do that and I was on edge because Mom was stressed and AUG! It was kinda hard. But now it's done, and I feel better. Phew.

(1): courtesy of azebra117

(2): Myth Queen so graciously gave me this idea.