Blasphemy
Disclaimer: Insert clever way of explaining that I do not own Twilight
Part II
Edward's POV
I felt so guilty for leaving Bella behind. Guilty and anxious. Who knew what kind of trouble she'd get into? But Alice checked through her visions each day, and nothing bad happened. Yet. She was moping around though, whenever Alice saw her. This made me feel terrible. I had promised to never leave her. But that's exactly what I have done, less than a month after our return from Volterra. But this was different than leaving her last time, I told myself firmly. This was real danger. Something I couldn't stop from hurting her. I had been naïve last time; there was no danger that time. And I wouldn't be gone forever. I swore to myself I would return soon. But my family was in great danger. I was not going to drag Bella into this. Whoever we were around would die until this was taken care of. And there was nothing we could do about it. Carlisle told me it was the right thing to do, for Bella's sake. "We will return to her soon, Edward," he assured me, gentle yet firm. "Don't lose hope." But how could I not? Three weeks it had been, and nothing had happened. I decided I would let another week go by until I asked Carlisle and Esme what was so wrong that this was taking so long. We were not in Denali like we had lied to Bella. We were in Brazil. I closed my eyes, and I knew if I were able to cry I would. Instead only muffled sobs escaped my lips as I leaned against my bedroom wall in our temporary home. It was a small abandoned house, with no furniture in it, just the separate rooms. This had worked out fine, allowing the kitchen and other non-essential rooms -- to vampires, that is -- to serve as rooms for our family. No one bothered to come in and comfort me when they heard me cry, quiet as it was. They knew their effort would be wasted; I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Instead I tried to think about all the happy memories I had made with Bella, but the last time I had seen her crept to the front of my mind, and I was unable to push it away. I sat back and let the memory play out, trying not to hurt myself at my horrid behavior.
"Bella, we are NOT having this conversation anymore," I said icily, feeling like I had said this before -- a lot.
"Why not?" she shrieked, stubborn as always.
"I don't care what Carlisle and the others say, I will not change you into one of us. I love you; you know that, this is not about not wanting you around. This is about not damning you to a terrible life. I do not want you to lose Charlie and Renée like that. If we were to make you a vampire, it would take years to get you under control. Years as in half a century maybe. You know they won't be around that long. They will also be repulsed by what you become. I know you do not want that." I spat at her. It pained me to argue with her. Couldn't she just be content with being human?
"That's not fair, Edward. It's my choice!" she wailed.
"Nothing will ever change my decision Bella; I am going to have a talk with Carlisle and the others. I will not let them change you either. Can't you respect my decision?"
"I'm capable of making my own decisions, Edward," she managed to choke out. Tears welled up in her eyes. I couldn't believe how much I had hurt her. She sank down into a ball against her bedroom wall and rested her head on her knees, letting the tears flow. I hesitated and moved to put my arms around her, to comfort her, to see her smile again. I sat down next to her, but she moved away. "Just go, Edward," she mumbled. I sat there, appalled at what I had done. I wanted to kick myself. Why couldn't I respect her wants? But I knew I never would. I got up regretfully and left, running home, trying to take my thoughts off her. I knew she wouldn't want to see me again, so I had Alice tell her tonight we would be leaving early next morning. Alice told me she cried harder at that, but she had assured her I promised to be back soon.
I sighed. I had made such a mess. And Carlisle wouldn't even let me call to explain where we really were and what we were doing. It was bad enough to be gone from her for so long; hadn't I already made the mistake of leaving her behind because of danger? I wanted so badly to hold her in my arms again. I wished I could promise myself that I would see her again. But I couldn't, not if they were still around. I shuddered and tried not to think about them. I will be back, Bella, I vowed silently. I promise to see your smile again.
Alice's POV
I stared up at the ceiling, cursing 'the others' under my breath. I didn't know any of their names, but would refuse to think them either way. They made my insides boil with rage. They were ruining what normal life we had left by making us leave Forks and, most importantly, Bella.
She was the closest thing to being human. She was like my sister in so many ways. I felt her pain each time I "saw" Edward and her fighting over her mortality, more than I felt his. How I wanted to intervene and give Bella what she wanted. What I wanted. It wasn't fair for Edward to do this to her. Hadn't he realized by now that he wanted her around forever, not for her to grow old and weak, die, and then kill himself? After all, he doesn't even believe we have an afterlife, so how can he expect to spend forever with her? But he's so stubborn, and he will never admit he was wrong or change his mind. At least that's what he says. I think he'd change her if she needed to be changed to be saved. But I couldn't be sure.
I sighed, wishing Jasper, Emmett, and even Rosalie would return from hunting. Not that it would be long. We kept them short recently. They would be much better company than Edward's continued sobs from the other room, and Carlisle and Esme trying to comfort him -- trying being the keyword. We haven't hunted alone here once, nor have we hunted as one group. We also eat more frequently. I wasn't sure why; Carlisle wouldn't tell us. I guess we were in more danger than we thought.
I sighed once again, yearning to call Bella and tell her the truth. Or even to go get her. I smiled grimly to myself. Bella would eventually find trouble in Forks. Did Carlisle really think that she was safer there? I frowned then, knowing he was right. They weren't even after Bella. Unless she was with us, she wouldn't be in any danger. If she was here, she would likely die, along with the rest of us. We'd be busy trying to protect her, with wasted efforts, giving them an advantage over us. But if we changed her…
Surely she would be able to help us. She would be a new vampire, but she would learn very quickly. She knew so much about it anyway, she was bound to be a natural. It's also what she wanted. Edward would be furious, of course, but that was his problem. Bella wouldn't be too happy if any of us got ourselves killed, least of all him. It was her life, dammit, and if she wanted to be a vampire, she would be. I pulled myself out of my reverie, and reached for my phone. I hesitated for a second, then closed my eyes and swayed. After a minute I opened my eyes, satisfied. Edward wouldn't overhear me; he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts. He wouldn't find out. Not until I brought her here, that is.