Drifting Chapter Part 1 (Chapter 10)

All around me was black, but even that felt distant. A pain so great that I didn't even want to feel it. Something skittered along the edges and brought me to see a faraway image. It was... a little girl, crying alone.

Wait... That's... me...

What was bringing up this memory? I just wanted to forget. I didn't want to remember what was coming up next. I should never have met Len that day. Then he wouldn't be dead.

Suddenly the memory filled my vision, but the image was distorting and I could feel something else.

The virus!

The smaller me was reaching for his hand; soon she would look at his face.

I can't... I don't want to see...

The virus wasn't stopping.

DON'T COME IN HERE!

Abruptly my eyes snapped open to the sun blazing down on me. I was lying sprawled on the hard gritty earth. I didn't get up or move. I didn't want to, I couldn't do it. It felt like the sky was collapsing around me, burying me alive. Maybe I was waiting. Waiting for...what? Nothing. Waiting for nothing. There was nothing left anymore.

I don't know how long I lay there, or how long it'd been since I powered down outside of Center City. The sun moved and I was left staring at an empty sky. I tried not to think, but it was useless. Len's death replayed in my mind, the look on his face... I could see it every time I closed my eyes. The pain was unbearable, which didn't make sense since I was a robot. Why should my chest hurt this much...? Did Len feel this way when I died? Except it wasn't the same. He had a possibility of bringing me back. Len was gone...forever.

What was I going to do now?

All of these questions swirled around in my disoriented mind. They were all so unanswerable.

My systems were running sluggishly, still trying to repair themselves. Though I wasn't sure if I wanted to be repaired. The virus was still in my body; my left hand was still twitching and jumping as if trying to follow an order that kept changing. I tried not to think about what was happening to my body. The virus felt like bugs skittering up and down my hardware, making me shudder, but I tried to ignore that as well.

It felt like a year had passed once the sun set. Maybe I had been lying here a century instead of a day. For some reason, I could feel energy flowing through my body. I tried looking through my destroyed systems and saw that I had charged with solar energy. Le-...He must have put that in. Did he really think of all these situations?

I sat up with some difficulty. I had almost forgotten about it: my missing arm. I looked around, trying to distract myself, and saw that my left hand was still clenched around Len's handgun. It triggered images of me running through the city until I ended up...here? I shook my head, but that time remained fuzzy. I had no idea how I ended up here. I must've run the whole way.

But where "here" was, I didn't know. I couldn't even see the city anymore, there was just hard dirt stretching out before me. A little distance away there seemed to be a highway. I could see a sign, broken and falling over. Behind me there was a line of trees or what was left of them. They looked like they had been burned. Only a few had green leaves left.

It all seemed so pointless.

[Well, at least you're thinking rationally now.]

I froze, my arm rigid and tense in front of me. Did someone sneak up on me?

[As if I could sneak up on you. I wish I was as far away from you as possible right now] the voice sighed, obviously exasperated with me.

"Where a-are you?" I asked, my voice unintentionally skipping over some of the words. One of the most damaged systems seemed to be my voice.

[I'm stuck in your head, idiot!]

The voice really was coming from my head. Was it the virus talking to me? Did viruses even talk? Suddenly the voice seemed very familiar...

"Piko...?" I asked cautiously.

[Of course it's me! I got trapped here when you freaked out and overloaded your systems! I couldn't get back to my body and now I'm trapped in yours!] Piko complained.

Now I was starting to panic. Piko was in my head! What if he could take over my body? Or force new commands on me or... He could do anything. I shivered, thinking of all the possibilities and trying not to linger on what had happened. But... if Piko could do what he wanted, why hadn't he forced me to go back already? Why did he have to wait to talk to me until I was "thinking rationally?"

"You can't control me or do anything anymore, can you?" I stated, already knowing it must be true.

[No, what would give you that impression?] Piko sneered.

"Pr-ove it then," I said, attempting to cross my arms before remembering I only had one.

[I-I don't need to prove anything to you! I'll do what I want to!] yelled Piko, fighting a losing battle.

I sighed with relief. At least he couldn't make me go back and... kill any of them. The others would be safe.

[All right, fine. I don't have control, at the moment. But I will take control again. Then I'll force you to go back there.] Suddenly Piko stopped being so agitated. [I wonder what will happen when I bring you back there...]

I wanted to plug my ears. I wanted to stop him from continuing, but it was useless. He went right on talking.

[They'll be furious after you killed Len. He was even trying to protect you when you did it. You also killed Gumi, didn't you? I wonder who else might've died...] Piko said gleefully. He could feel my pain. It felt like I could hear my heart throbbing. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my knees, but it just made it worse.

[Miku must hate you now. I wonder if she would kill you first or if you would kill her?] Piko laughed.

"I hate- I hate- I hate- I hate-" I stuttered out, but Piko kept going.

[I wonder if Iroha has nightmares about you? You must've looked like a horrible monster to her. They must all think you're a monster. I bet even your sister would turn on you and kill you now!]

"How do yo-u know all these p-people? How do you k-now Meiko's my si-ster!" I yelled over him, on the verge of panic.

[Just because I can't do anything to you doesn't mean I can't access your files. I've been going over your memories... quite interesting. I was looking at the day you met Len when you woke up...]

No...

[And this other one...]

No... no stop it...

[You were good friends with Miku, weren't you?]

No... I can't take this...

[...Gumi is dead, you'll never get to talk to her again...]

DON'T COME IN HERE!

I screamed as if that would push Piko away. The throbbing and pounding were too loud in my ears, mixing with Piko's voice. I couldn't drown it out. Quickly I opened my eyes, trying to find something to distract myself from this agony, and I got my wish almost immediately.

A group of Lacov soldiers were standing in front of me, their guns lowered directly at my chest. The noise in my ears hadn't been my heart, it had been the truck these soldiers had rode up in... to kill me. I could hear Piko laughing in the back of my head.