Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
An: Another update! This chapter just kind of poured out of me. It's a lot of Edward, a lot of cutesy, teenage fluff, and hopefully it makes up for the gloominess that was last chapter. I love you guys for all the story and author alerts, seriously, thank you!
Can't Help Myself: Chapter 8
Back in the past …
Halfway through our walk Edward's fingers brush against mine.
It's casual in the sort of way one might think it was an accident. But when it happens a second time … and then a third, I'm more than a little sure he's doing it on purpose.
Alice has long since released my other hand, so until this point I've left my arms hanging freely by my sides. I won't deny that I've allowed my right arm to extend out a little further than necessary, seeking out the electrifyingly confusing touch that Edward's skin causes when it touches mine.
I wonder if Alice has noticed how close Edward and I are as we walk. It's not too close, so if a stranger were to see us it wouldn't seem that we're together. However, we're much closer than two people who just met a short time before would typically walk.
With each step we take Edward tells me about the town of Forks. He starts with the houses on my Father's street, telling me silly stories about the people who live inside them. Sometimes you can tell he's made something up completely, just to entertain Alice and I, but other times he's serious in his explanations.
Occasionally Alice will chime in with some of her knowledge from the times she's visited, and I nod along in feigned interest. It's not that I'm not interested in listening to Edward talk, but I'm still not all that interested in knowing more about Forks than is absolutely necessary.
The further into town we get the more animated he becomes. I can tell he takes pride in his town, as he should, even if to me it looks like nothing more than a run-down, middle-of-no-where place to live. In fact, the more I listen to him speak so fervently, the guiltier I feel about how much I've judged the place.
When we come up to the main four-way stop in town we stop to wait for the light to change, and I can't help but interrupt. "How long have you lived here?"
I'm rewarded with one his adorable crooked grins. "All my life," he tells me without a single hint of bitterness. He doesn't seem to mind that he's lived in one place since the day he was born.
I, on the other hand, could count five different states I'd lived in before I was six. Phoenix is the longest I've ever lived anywhere. I wonder what it's like to know the same people from the time you start kindergarten until you're in High School.
"You go to Forks High, don't you?" Alice questions beside me.
"Yep," he pops the 'p' but offering no further information. I really want to ask what grade he's in, or better yet, how old he is. I know if he's too much older than me then my crush will be for nothing because there is no way I'll be allowed to spend time with a much older boy, even with Alice around to chaperone.
My cousin and I must be thinking along the same lines because her next question is the one I've just been thinking.
"And you'll be what? A freshman?"
Her tone is casual, but I know she's asking this for me, and I kind of want to hug her right now.
The light turns red, and the crosswalk sign lights up, so we step off the sidewalk and begin to cross what Edward calls "the highway." In reality it's a two lane road that leads in and out of town and therefore has the most amount of traffic.
Which when compared to the streets in Phoenix, is very little.
"Sophomore actually."
Two years older, that's not too bad. Right?
Alice continues her inquiry.
"So you're fifteen, just like Jasper?"
"Yeah. I mean, being in the same grade and classes is how he and I became best friends."
Edward gives her the side-eye, like she should already know this information. Which she probably does, but she's risking looking like an idiot anyway just to help me out.
"That's right, I remember now," she says with a smile.
I turn to mouth "thank you," no longer looking where I'm walking. My feet connect with the curb of the sidewalk, and I feel myself tipping forward.
No, please, don't let me fall on my face.
I'm bracing myself for impact, but it never comes. It appears Edward's reflexes are much quicker than mine because his hand shoots out and grabs me by the elbow, steadying me before I fall.
"Whoa, careful there."
While I'm thankful he has saved me from the humiliation of kissing the pavement, I'm utterly embarrassed to have tripped. I should have been paying more attention to my feet and less attention to him.
As if that'll happen.
I manage enough courage to look him in the eye, trying not to let the butterflies in my stomach get the better of me. Up close like this Edward's eyes are clearer: the color of forest green with just a hint of blue around the edges. It's quite fitting for him. And I decide that his eyes are now my favorite part of him.
"Thank you."
He smiles warmly at my words, and it is then I realize his hand hasn't left my arm. I'm entirely aware of the heat of him soaking through my thin shirt. I'm cursing myself for not wearing shorter sleeves.
"Walk much Bella?" Alice's teasing jibe causes me to blush and look away from Edward.
I choose not to respond, though I do shoot her a dirty glare and stick my tongue out, just as she did earlier at Edward. What can I say? Maturity runs in the family.
Alice's teases are forgotten, however, when Edward's hand slips from my elbow and down my arm. His hands slides against mine until our fingers are interwoven.
I'm equal parts shocked and equal parts giddy that he's holding my hand.
He gives my hand a gentle squeeze and leans over to whisper in my ear as we start walking again. "Is this okay?"
I don't have any words so I simply grip his hand a little harder to show I don't want him to let me go.
We continue the rest of our "Tour of Forks" like this: hands held tightly between us, Alice to our side. I know she notices but thankfully, for once, she doesn't comment. I know I won't be as lucky later on when Edward is back in his own home, and Alice and I are once again alone.
When the sun begins to set we head back, and I try to invite Edward over for dinner, but declines, stating that he should spend some time with his parents. Apparently his Dad is leaving for a business trip tomorrow, and so he is needed home.
I try not to show my disappointment, but the pout on my lips makes it utterly obvious.
He releases my hand and back away. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
I'm already nodding, but Alice responds, "Absolutely! Come knock on the door whenever Jasper shows up."
"It was nice to meet you Bella."
His face is trained on mine, smiling. Tomorrow is too far away to see him again.
"It was nice meeting you too."
Alice and I no sooner make it through the front door before she pounces. "I KNEW IT!"
She's jumping up and down, cheering loudly, and I'm overcome with worry that Edward may hear her next door. Or perhaps every neighbor on the street will hear her because she's yelling that loudly.
"Shh!" I hiss. "Knew what?"
She stops long enough to give me a triumphant grin. "I knew you'd be perfect for each other."
I roll my eyes because I'm not admitting anything, yet. I want to make her sweat a little.
"Whatever Alice."
When Charlie comes home that night he brings us pizza, and joins us for a movie downstairs. I still feel like I'm floating after my afternoon with Edward, and I can't help but forget all about my plans to give my Dad a hard time.
Instead I manage a conversation about what I learned about Forks. Alice and I tell him about our town tour, though we both leave out the part about Edward joining us. Charlie seems happy that I've taken the initiative to get to know the place, and for a moment I'm pleased that I've given him this small piece of encouragement.
When I fall asleep that night my thoughts are no longer about when counting down the days left until I return to Phoenix. Instead I'm dreaming about forest green eyes, crooked smiles, and the minutes until I can see Edward again.
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