I'm in Montreal on a vacation with my husband (and without kids). If you've never been here, this is an amazing city to visit! Great food, people and wonderful history and things to do. Sigh - I'm loving it! This started as a single chapter but grew long so this is part one - part two to be posted shortly. Thanks for all the lovely reviews. I'm glad people are enjoying this silly little piece of fluff.
"I was thinking." He was lying on the bed beside her, although he had moved down the mattress so that his head was parallel with her naked stomach, where his hand was drawing faint circles.
"Mmm", she answered, her body and mind totally relaxed and happy – and not paying much attention to anything other than the feeling of him touching her skin with his hands, his rough but oh so gentle hands.
"About you being at the SGC", he continued.
"Mmm hmm", this time she gave half an ear to what he was saying although as his fingers moved lower she quickly lost the thread.
"Are you listening to me?" he asked, a touch of humor in his voice.
"Mmm hmm."
"You are not!" His hands stopped their exploration and he lifted his head. "Are you sleeping?" he asked suspiciously, her body looking too relaxed for consciousness.
"No", she murmured.
"Okay then – I was thinking." He paused and watched her until finally her eyes opened. Well, to be exact it was just one eye, but it was enough to allow him to continue.
"Remember you said you felt uncomfortable about – you know – being pregnant and everything? Because then everyone would know about us."
"About us sleeping together", she said drowsily.
"Yeah – okay – although why you imagine they wouldn't think we were sleeping together is beyond me", he said with unassailable logic.
"But they wouldn't know."
"Okay fine – so they'll know we were – are – sleeping together. And they're going to know sooner rather than later when the word gets out that you're no longer on active duty. That'll really start the rumors!"
"I know", she answered sadly. "But I don't see that there's anything I can do. They won't let me go through the gate. I wish I didn't have to say anything now – at least not until I'm farther along, but if I don't the rumors will be even worse."
"Exactly. So – I've been thinking."
"You said that", she said, looking down at him affectionately.
"Yeah – well – you know I've been getting constant memos from Torrance."
"Uh – no I didn't."
"I must have told you? He's been bugging me for months." He lifted his head off the mattress and peered at her out of narrowed eyes.
"No, you didn't say anything to me about it."
"Oh – must have been my other girlfriend – ouch!"
"Serves you right! I'm your only girlfriend – and I better stay that way."
Jack sighed deeply. "Fine – if that's the way you want it! Geesh – sleep with them and get them pregnant and they think you're theirs!"
"Damn right you're mine – and don't you forget it!"
He grinned and laid his head back down and returned to drawing on her stomach. "Well, as I'm sure I told someone – General Torrance at Area 51 has been sending me memos for the last few months complaining about the incompetent people he has working for him. According to him, they've got a six month backlog, plus, they've managed to destroy, or at least mutilate, a number of priceless alien objects."
"He's right about that!"
"Uh – what part?"
"All of it. It drives me crazy. We go out there, risking our lives, in order to find something that will help us defend ourselves and the idiots at Area 51 destroy whatever we bring back."
"How would you like to change that?" Jack asked, his hands stopping their incessant 'writing'.
"Change – what are you talking about Jack?"
"Well, I was thinking -"
"Aaaargh!" she laughed. "I know you were thinking – what were you thinking."
"That you could take a transfer to Area 51 until the baby comes. That way you would be away from the SGC – so no nosy questions or speculative looks. We could announce that you were requested specifically by Torrance because of your expertise with alien - stuff. And, since things are quiet right now in the galaxy, it's a good time for you to move over into another area. No one will think it's strange, especially if it's only a temporary assignment."
The only way she knew that Jack was nervous was by the fact that his hand had stopped moving over her abdomen – and instead was tightly clenched. She put her hand down and laid it gently on his soft hair, giving him assurance that she wasn't offended by his suggestion, although she wasn't ready to comment on it.
He lifted his head slightly and twisted it so that he was looking at her. "I'm not telling you what you should do", he explained carefully. He put his head back down. "I was just thinkin'."
"I know", she smiled, thinking what a dear, sweet, crazy man he was. "And I appreciate it. I'm not quite sure -" her voice faded out and she leaned back on the pillow, her eyes closed. What did she think about the idea? She hadn't ever considered leaving the SGC, even for a short time. But it did sound attractive right now – not just because it would take her away from the prying eyes and comments, but it would allow her to work on some of the things Sg-1 and other teams had brought back, items which it had killed her to let go of so that they could be shipped off to people who didn't have a clue. "Would I be in charge? Of the alien artifacts and devices I mean?"
"I'm sure Torrance would agree to that. He's not a scientist."
"What's he like?"
"Um – a pretty good guy. He can be a bit stuffy, but he's fair and treats his people well. They seem to like and respect him."
She nodded, knowing that was the most important thing. An officer like Torrance could make his superior like him, but if the men and women under him didn't, then she wouldn't want to work for him – although in the Air Force that wasn't always an option. For her, however, it was.
"Okay", she said suddenly, "I'll do it."
He lifted his head again and looked at her, this time with surprise. "You will? Just like that?"
"Yes. Didn't you want me to?"
"No, yes – I mean – I just thought you'd take longer to think about it. I'm glad though – I think you'll like it." He suddenly grinned. "Although now that I think about it I don't know if it is such a good idea."
She looked at him suspiciously. "Why not?"
"Samantha Carter, exceptional geek, surrounded by intriguing doohickeys! I'll never get you to leave them and come up for air!"
"Hmm – all those 'doohickeys'. I don't know General – it sounds like heaven to me."
"That's what I'm afraid of. I bet you won't even have time for your boyfriend."
"Oh, I don't know – if he keeps doing that", she squeaked as his hand suddenly dipped lower. "I'll definitely have time for him."
There was some consternation at the SGC when it was announced that Lieutenant Colonel Carter had been seconded to Area 51 for the next few months. Daniel wasn't particularly happy, but he understood. Teal'c nodded gravelly. "It is a good solution", he intoned, understanding instantly the reason behind it.
The other men and women on the base were also not happy to lose one of their own, but not suspicious either. Many of them, especially the science staff, thought it was a smart move on the part of the brass. She was congratulated, told she would be missed, and given a going-away party. If Walter looked at her with a sympathetic eye – which also contained a distinctive twinkle – she didn't acknowledge it.
She'd been in Nevada for three weeks and she hadn't seen Jack in that time. Even though they'd spoken every night – and she'd finally convinced him to set up Skype on his computer – she missed his actual presence. She was also feeling more emotional than usual partly due to the pregnancy and partly due to all the changes in her life. She'd actually burst into tears with him last night and, although she'd assured him it was really nothing, he'd looked all worried and upset. She'd hated doing that to him and it hadn't been intentional – she just really missed him.
She'd found a good OB in Las Vegas and had been that morning. Fortunately, everything was looking fine, although it was still too early to really know anything anyway. She'd figured out her due date on her own and the doctor had confirmed it. She had started taking extra folic acid as soon as she knew she was pregnant and the doctor had recommended a good pre-natal vitamin. She was scheduled for an 18 week ultrasound but until then there was really nothing to do – other than feel sorry for herself about being in a brand new place, with people she didn't know and Jack thousands of miles away. She sniffed and went to find the ice cream.
The next day she got back from work, tired and crabby. General Torrance had been totally right – the people there were Morons! She'd already written up about ten pages of notes on changes that needed to be made and knew it wasn't going to go down well with the science and engineering staff. She realized, for the first time, what being in charge of a department really meant. There wasn't the team camaraderie that existed on the Sg teams – this was about management, about making tough, unpopular decisions and about looking at outcomes, efficiency and effectiveness. Sadly, she was even going to recommend getting rid of a couple of people who were clearly in the wrong department. They'd been enjoying an easy sinecure without producing anything. That was going to change.
Sam hated it – and yet a small part of her also relished it. That, of course, made her feel guilty. It's not that she wanted to cause pain to anyone – but she loved the idea of increasing efficiency, whether it was with a spaceship, a naquada generator or within a department. She was now on a mission and she was going to do the best damn job she could.
She stopped suddenly and wondered about Jack – General O'Neill. She'd always thought he was an amazing leader – but of field teams and in combat situations. Suddenly being in a management position herself, she wondered how he did it in his new job at the Pentagon – and during his time as CO of the SGC. Since leaving Sg-1 he'd been in essentially the same position she was in now – on a much grander scale. Did he worry about staffing and budgets and outcomes? God – she supposed so. It was a new insight into the man she loved and it surprised her, but also impressed her tremendously. How in hell did he do it while pretending to be so clueless and to hate paperwork? She'd have to ask him.
She sat on her couch, exhausted, stressed and feeling depressed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. If she was back at the SGC she'd at least have Daniel to talk to, or Teal'c. Hell, she could probably even talk to Walter! But no, she was all alone here with no one and Jack was only on the end of the phone, not in her arms where he belonged.
When the doorbell rang she frowned, wondering who could be at her door. Maybe it was one of her neighbors? She'd met one or two of them but the ones on her left had been away when she'd moved in. She pulled herself to her feet, wishing that whoever it was would go away. She didn't feel up to socializing.
When she opened her front door all she saw was a huge bouquet of flowers, held up in front of the person delivering them.
"Flowers for Samantha Carter", a foreign sounding voice said.
"Oh" Jack must have sent them – the sweet man! "Thank you – just give me a minute." She turned to find her purse to give the delivery man a tip. It was as she turned that she looked down and noticed – wait – those looked just like Jack's shoes. She drew her hand to her mouth and then grinned.
"Uh – I'm sorry, I don't have any cash for a tip. How would you like to come in and I could give you sex instead?"
The flowers shook slightly and then a voice she recognized spoke to her from behind the flowers. "It's a big bouquet – it'll require a big tip."
She laughed and reached over and pulled his hand down – to see the grinning face of General O'Neill, flower delivery boy extraordinaire. "Oh, that could be arranged." She took the flowers and set them on her hall table and then wrapped her arms around him. "I don't know what the hell you're doing here, but I'm so glad you are!"
He held her close, understanding that she needed him, that things had been hard for her. He could feel that she was again on the verge of tears – both happy and sad. He hated the fact that he was so far away from her, especially now when she really needed them to be together.
After a few moments he could tell that she had calmed down – her heart had slowed and she rested more peacefully against him. He breathed a silent sigh of relief – he'd been worried. "So", he said, clearing his throat, "about my tip?"
She laughed and pulled back. "Oh, you'll get your tip. For those flowers – you'll get a really big one!"
"Excellent!" He gently pulled her forward until she was again resting against him. He kissed the top of her head and relished the feel, and smell and sight of Samantha Carter. God he missed her.
"Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"As much as it's wonderful to see you – what are you doing here? I thought you had a busy week?"
He didn't answer for a few heartbeats but then she could feel him breathe deeply. Finally letting her go he stepped back slightly and looked at her. "I missed you", was all he said.
Of course that got the tears started again, although she blinked them back furiously. She was not going to cry again. "I missed you too", she sniffed. "So much."
"Well, I'm here now so why don't we put those outrageously expensive flowers in a vase and sit down. I'm tired you know – I'm too old to be jaunting around the country like this."
"You are not", she answered indignantly. "I know darned well you can outrun, outlast and outperform men way younger than you!"
He looked ridiculously pleased at that – but his impish grin caused her to rethink what she'd just said – and then she laughed. It was true – she didn't have any complaints in the performance department. She gathered the flowers and told him to go sit down. After she'd found something to put them in – she had no idea where any vases were since she hadn't unpacked all her boxes yet – she went and curled up beside him on the couch.
"This is so nice", she said as she cuddled up to him.
"It is, isn't it?"
"So – how did you get away? I thought you had a bunch of meetings with the IOA."
"I did. Unfortunately there was a serious situation at Area 51 so I postponed them."
"Really?" She sat up and looked at him. "What's wrong? I haven't heard anything."
"Oh, there was a desperate need for me to hug the head of the science and research department."
"Jack! You didn't?"
"Didn't what?"
"Didn't cancel important meetings because of me."
"No. I cancelled them because of me."
"Because of you?" she sounded skeptical.
"Mmm hmm. I was way too emotional on my own in DC. I almost burst into tears at a meeting with the Joint Chiefs. I figured I'd better come get that hug before I endangered the entire planet."
"Jack O'Neill! You are such a – a"
"A what?" He looked at her with interest.
"A – sweet man – and a terrible liar. You came because of me – and don't deny it."
"I'll deny it was all because of you." He stopped and then grew serious. "I meant it you know – I missed you. I don't like not seeing you and – holding – you. And don't worry about the meetings. It was actually the President who wanted them postponed. My team is gathering some more research to present and the President wants it to be complete. He's worried the IOA are going to try and pull a fast one and he wants all our ducks in a row first."
"Oh – okay", she said, sounding both pleased and relieved. As much as she was thrilled to have him here, she didn't want to be responsible for him not doing his duty. She snorted – as if ever Jack O'Neill would not do his duty. She shouldn't have worried.
"Now, what was that for?" he asked, hearing her snort.
"Nothing – just glad you're here."
They sat together for a long time, sometimes quiet, other times speaking softly – usually about nothing much. She told him about her doctor's appointment – at which time he leaned down and kissed her belly.
"You just be good in there, little bean", he murmured.
"Jack?" she asked after a few more minutes. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure?" he looked at her in inquiry. "Unless it's about my secret to winning in poker, or my secret pancake recipe."
"You cheat and beer", she answered.
"Damn – all my secrets uncovered! So really – what do you want to ask?"
She sighed. "General Torrance was right. The science and engineering departments are a mess – they're disorganized, they spend way too much time on things that aren't important, there's fighting between the chemists and the biologists and the physicists – and don't even ask me how they all get along with the engineers! I've written up a report to the General, but it's going to sound terribly harsh and I know no one's going to like it. I'm just not sure what I should do."
Jack sat silently, thinking about what she'd said. He grimaced slightly, although Sam had her back pressed against him and didn't see. "I don't know quite what to say Carter", he told her. "It's your command and you know the people and the situation better than me."
"I know." She pushed herself up and turned around so that she was facing him. "And I appreciate that you don't want to interfere, but I could really use your advice or insight. You moved from a field position to an office – sorry", she said when she noticed his pained expression. "But you've done a fantastic job. I just – I'm not sure what to do. This is completely different than working with my team."
"Is it?" he asked gently.
"What do you mean? Of course it is. Working with Daniel and Teal'c – and you – I mean, we worked together, we supported each other. We each had our strengths and relied on what the other was good at, but always trusted that the others would protect us."
"Were we always like that?" he asked carefully.
"What do you mean?"
"Is that how we operated right at the beginning, when we first came together?"
She was going to answer, but then stopped herself and tried to think back to those early days. She remembered the first time she met the then Colonel O'Neill. She'd had a strong case of hero worship before she'd walked into that briefing room. After a few minutes she'd wanted to kill him – thinking him nothing but a macho, chauvinist pig – and the rest of the team – especially Kowalski – had been worse. Daniel – well, she'd admired his brilliance, his mind, but she'd quickly gotten frustrated at his incompetence as a soldier. She'd remembered thinking at the time that O'Neill was way too easy on him. If it had been her, she'd told herself, she would have kicked him off the team right away.
Her eyes slid to Jack's at that thought. They hadn't been much of a team, not to start with. Then Teal'c had joined them and that had brought challenges of their own. She'd been glad that he'd accepted freedom and she admired his strength and courage, but she'd also wondered at his ability to really fit in with a group of humans.
It had been Jack – with some help from Daniel – who had brought them together. She couldn't even say when exactly that had begun to happen but after a while – even with there still being frustrations – they had coalesced into something greater than the parts. They had become a team.
"So – you're saying that I should give it some time?" she said.
"Well – I'm not suggesting that you do nothing. Obviously there are problems that need to be addressed, and pretty quickly. My hunch is that most of the people there would be happy to see things operate more smoothly. Most people don't like to work in a situation where everything is chaos, where nothing is being accomplished. I'm sure some of them would love to make some changes, but haven't had the ability – or the understanding of what to do."
"So – what would you do?" she asked bluntly. He was very obviously speaking from experience and again she wondered what things were like in DC. She suspected that the SGC had been easier in some ways – Hammond had run a tight ship and Jack had inherited a well-run base. Hammond had done well in DC, but she suspected that he knew he was on his way to retirement so hadn't dealt with everything.
"What would I do? Well – it's not necessarily what you should do Carter, so remember that. Well, I'd lock everyone in a room –"
"And give them a fruit bowl?" she giggled, remembering the incident from when he'd first taken over command of the SGC.
"There ya go!" he grinned. "Problem solved." He leaned down and kissed her and again grew serious. "No, I think what I'd do is find out what all the issues are, including personnel issue. I don't just mean who is good and who is weak – or incompetent – but find out what people are like. Sometimes you'll find hidden strengths in people that'll surprise you. I've seen it happen a number of times – someone you thought was useless turns out to be great once given the right motivation – or the freedom to do things a bit differently."
She nodded, thinking of a few people she had known like that. "And then?"
"Well, you said you've done a report on the problems? Did you get that by talking with people or by observing what was going on?"
"Mostly by analyzing results", she admitted.
"Okay, that's important. But I think what I'd do is start to get to know people and talk to them. Ask them what they would like to see done differently – or what they'd like to see stay the same. Listen to them and find out where everyone is. Once you've done that, rewrite that report based on everything you've seen and heard. You have to get to know your people – and remember they are your people – and trust that they'll help you in making everything run better. But there will continue to be – morons – and you may have to get rid of them, but I wouldn't do that day one. First I'd see if you can get them on side and working more efficiently. If not then –" he made a cutting motion with his hand.
She thought about what he'd said and nodded. "You're smart you know", she informed him gently. "Even though you try to tell everyone you're not."
"Take em by surprise that way", he nodded, for once not denying it. "You'll be great Carter", he told her. "You're a natural leader. You just have to remember that dealing with office politics and results is really no different than when working in the field. The only real difference is that people don't usually get killed if you screw up in an office!"
She smiled slightly, although she thought of the fact that in their cases, even screwing up in the office could have dire consequences.
"Thank you", she murmured. "That is helpful. I was afraid I was really out of my element here and that I was going to fail spectacularly."
"You? Carter you never fail spectacularly. It's just not in you!"
"Really? You should have tasted my cheese soufflé!"
They went to bed early that evening – both tired with work and with the emotions of being separated and expecting a child. Still, Sam was smiling when she finally fell asleep. That was the first tip she'd ever given where she got more in return!