I own nothing but the plot line. The Almighty Larson owns the rest.

After Collins and Mark finish up with the doctor, I follow them out of the hospital. They are walking in silence. Collins has the coat I bought him draped over his arms. I wish he would put it on; I know he must be freezing. Every so often, Mark glances over his shoulder. It sort of seems like he's looking back at me. Is it possible that he can see me? Or at least feel my presence? If I say his name, will he be able to hear me?

The wind blows and Collins shivers.

"Collins, honey, please put on your coat," I say. I know he can't see or hear me, but I'm used to telling him to do things like that. Mark glances at me again before looking to Collins.

"Collins, I think you should, uh, put your coat on," he says. Collins looks down at the coat and stops walking. I watch with widened eyes as he slowly pulls the coat on. Had Mark somehow heard what I said? I bring my attention to him. He's staring at me. I take a small step forward while he grasps at the air in front of me. I try to grab his hand, but my hand goes right through his. To my surprise, he quickly pulls his hand to his chest. Did he feel my hand and get scared? I watch him hold his hand out again, and then I let my hand hover over his.

"Mark?" Collins says. Mark and I both turn to him. Even though his eyes are filled with sadness, he has a small smirk on his face as if he's trying to hold in laughter. "The fuck are you doin'?"

"I . . . thought I saw something," Mark replies, putting his hand down to his side. The wind blows again. "Let's hurry back to the loft. It's cold out here."

"Well, it is the end of September."

Mark nods and they don't say much of anything else the rest of the way to the loft. They silently decide to walk rather than take the subway. I wonder where everyone else is. They should be with Collins right now, like Mark is. I can't believe how selfish they're being. I would go try to find them, but I feel I need to be as close to Collins as possible. I wish he could hear me. I need him to know how much I love him. I need him to know that I never wanted to leave him the way I did.

At the loft, Collins requests a beer. He and Mark then sit on the couch and drink in silence. I wish I could read Collins' mind. His expression is scaring me. It's a mix between sadness and anger. I wonder if he's angry at the others for leaving him. I know I am. I want to ask him about it, but I know I can't. Mark seems to have heard me before; maybe he'll hear me again. I walk behind the couch and stand there.

"Collins, are you okay?" I ask. Mark stiffens and looks to Collins. I think he heard me.

"Collins?" he says. Collins turns to him. "You okay?"

"My mind is still tryin' to . . . process everything," Collins replies. Mark nods and the two of them continue to drink. After a while, the loft door slides open and Roger comes in. No one says anything as he slides the door shut and takes off his jacket. He looks pissed.

"Where have you been?" Mark asks him.

"Out trying to clear my head," Roger answers. He tosses his jacket onto the armchair next to the couch and runs his hands over his face for a moment. "God, can you believe her? How can she go back to that asshole?"

"You did break up with her," Mark pointed out. "And you don't even have any proof she's dating Benny."

"Whatever, I'm going to bed."

Roger starts walking to his room as Mark puts his beer on the coffee table and stands up. Collins watches him in wonder. Roger is just about to open his door when Mark speaks.

"Or, as an alternate option, you could show some empathy and comfort your friend in his time of need," he says, gesturing to Collins. Roger stops walking and turns to face Mark.

"Mark, it's fine," Collins says somewhat quietly.

"No, it's not fine." Mark steps out into the open part of the loft. "Roger, you of all people should know what Collins is going through right now. He just lost the love of his life." Roger looks to Collins, whose eyes are on the beer in his hand. He seems to be trying to avoid making eye contact with both Mark and Roger.

"Collins . . . I'm really sorry about Angel," Roger says. Collins is still looking at his beer. I wait for Roger to say more, but he just turns to his bedroom door and grabs the knob.

"That's all?" Mark asks. "That's really all you have to say? Don't you remember how you felt after you lost April? It was Collins who helped you through it more than anyone. And he was still trying to help while he was away at MIT. You've got to have something more to say than you're sorry."

"What do you want me to say, Mark?!" Roger snaps. I take a step backward and Collins looks up, a worried expression on his face. Mark matches Roger's scowl perfectly.

"I want you to say something comforting," he replies. "Collins is feeling the same pain you felt the night you found April. He—"

"He is not!" Roger interrupts. He walks toward Mark, who doesn't back down. "Losing someone you love is hard and I get that he's hurting, but there's no fucking way he's feeling my pain! April committed suicide; Angel died because of health issues. April chose to die. She chose to leave me, Mark! She could have stayed, but she didn't! We would probably still be together, but she . . . just gave up without a fight. Trust me, Collins isn't feeling that pain. Angel didn't give up; he fought for his life because he wanted to stay with Collins. He just didn't win."

Everything becomes still and silent. Collins is looking to Mark for his reply, as is Roger. I replay Roger's words in my head. He's right; I did fight, but I lost the battle long ago. I don't know much about April or what happened with her to side with anyone. Collins once told me that she was a sensitive subject, so I steered clear of bringing her up.

"Maybe she'd still be here if you hadn't dragged her into your band's drug circle," Mark says. Collins' eyes widen and he puts his beer down as he looks to Roger. My love's hands are on the table and he looks like he's about to get up and pounce on something. I look at Roger. His face is slowly turning red. He makes a fist with his right hand.

"FUCK YOU!" he shouts, lunging at Mark and punching him square in the face. Collins gets up as Roger tackles Mark to the ground and wraps his hands around his neck.

"Roger, stop it!" Collins yells.

He tries to pull Roger off of Mark, but fails. He's still for a moment before he kneels down in front of Mark and Roger and throws a punch at Roger, causing him to let go of Mark. Collins pulls Mark to his feet and stands in front of him. Roger then lunges at Collins, who easily stops him from hitting him.

"Calm the fuck down!" Collins demands. Roger continues trying to hit Collins. I wish I could do something to stop this.

"Get off me, Collins!" Roger shouts. Realizing that Roger isn't going to calm himself down, Collins pushes him into a wall and holds him there. I notice Collins isn't using much force, meaning he's going to try something other than yelling to get Roger to calm down.

"Roger, please calm down," he says softly. "I don't want to lose anybody else today. Mark didn't mean what he said. Just please calm down."

Roger stops struggling against Collins and looks into his sad eyes. Collins slowly releases Roger, who glares at Mark. For a moment, I think he's about to attack Mark again, but he surprises me by going into to his bedroom and slamming the door.

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