Chapter 3

Kirk tried to walk calmly out of the briefing room, and as soon as he was sure he was safely out of sight, he leaned against a wall and closed his eyes. He willed his head to clear. He drew a couple of deep breaths and then moved toward his quarters.

'What's wrong with me today...? Why am I so angry?' he thought. He chastised himself for snapping at his friend. After all, he could have prevented the misunderstanding. He knew too well that the Doctor would never go by such orders. Even he himself wouldn't do that. So, why had he expected his best friend to accept them without questioning them?

No. It wasn't that. He was mad because his best friend should have known… 'My goddamn best friend!'' he forced himself to breathe slower. He was angry. No, he was furious. After all these years, McCoy should have known that he would never, could never, put innocent people in the same situation that…

He pushed the tension out of his shoulders, and forced the images to the back of his mind. His nightmares where annoyance enough. He didn't need those pictures to haunt him in daylight too.

Kirk turned to the other corridor, his crew saluting him respectfully as he passed them. He managed smiles and mumbled acknowledgments. But he couldn't get his mind to focus. He was too distracted and the headache that had been with him for the last few days was now burning fiercely behind his eyes.

The surface scans were almost complete and they were due to beam down in a little under an hour. He had to call the headquarters to inform them of his intentions. Kirk didn't particularly look forward to the communication, since he knew what would transpire the moment he told them that they were wrong, that Niurex was truly desperate for their help, that people would die ….

He didn't have time for anything else, and soon, when he stepped into his quarters, the thought of the Doctor and his own anger had deserted him completely.

The captain ended the transmission with such force that his finger hurt. He stood up and walked unsteadily to his bathroom. 'This is ridiculous… he didn't even listen to me!' He was screaming in his own head as he splashed water to his face.

He looked himself in the mirror. The rage was still burning in his slightly sunken eyes. 'These ignorant admirals are pushing too hard... The situation is explosive… why can't they see that…? Why don't they trust me? Their chosen observer...?'

They had to beam down as soon as possible, while he had time …and yet, he still didn't feel completely ready. He was so tired. The mere thought of the people… children… on that planet, being forced to live a rudimentary life so that their leaders could have all the pleasures, was suffocating him. Niurex used to be very rich. The dilithium crystals were one of many treasures the planet had. Now they couldn't even afford to buy- or build – a decent intra planetary shuttle, pleasure cruises for the leaders excluded.

He was still immersed in his dark reveries when the chime sounded. He was not in the mood for visitors. He had still many things to do… "Come." He heard himself say nonetheless.

The doors parted and a shy Leonard McCoy stood just behind the threshold. Kirk sighed and sat at his desk tiredly. "Hey Bones." There was none of that feverish anger left in him. All these pointless fights had left him drained. Exhausted.

McCoy stepped in gingerly and let the door close behind him. He might as well have felt a change in his captain, because his eyes narrowed as he stepped closer.

Kirk looked resigned. He was staring at an unknown spot again. He didn't offer the Doctor to sit nor did he protest when McCoy draw the chair closer and sat at the other side of the table.

The unnerving silence between them had gone on for a few minutes before McCoy could get himself to break it. "Jim, about back then… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to … you know…" he cut himself abruptly as Kirk's hazy eyes tried to focus on him. He didn't seem to have heard a single word. "Jim?" He was alarmed by the slow reaction of his friend.

"It's alright Bones, forget about it." McCoy sighed. He could see now that something much bigger than their little quarrel was weighing his captain down. He leaned on the table. "What's it Jim? What's going on? Why didn't you tell me …?" "Tell you what? What could you do? What could anyone on this ship do?" his voice was almost a whisper. "Why would you want to know, Bones? You can't prevent starva…" his voice caught at the word. He couldn't bring himself to say it. He knew his words were hurting the doctor. He could see the unspoken pain in those blue eyes. The doctor, and every single crew member on the ship, deserved to know the captain's final decision. His actions would be perceived as betrayal by the crew, and outright mutiny by the Starfleet.

But he was trying to do the right thing. He wanted to protect the people on the planet blew, and his crew. His decision was an act of desperation. He couldn't see any other option.

They were both silent again for a while. The Doctor was speechless. Indeed, what could he do? What could anyone do? No one could do anything, not when this government was dragging the whole planet into ruin. Not until its own people were truly convinced that they should come together and fight back for themselves.

Surprisingly, it was the captain who broke the silence. "They're sending in the Statder."

"A transporter? What for?"

"To bring in the new commander of the Enterprise… the Statder has the official orders to revoke my authority as the captain." Kirk's eyes were haunted. He refused to meet the doctor's eyes. "They grounded me, Bones. In six hours, I won't be the captain…"

McCoy just stared at him. He couldn't believe his ears. But the woeful look on his friend's tired face left no spot for doubts. He was speechless, again. But the captain just needed a listener.

"I'm supposed to lead a diplomatic party to the planet down there, and Starfleet has grounded me…! They are sitting there reading my reports and asking for my observations, and yet these admirals think they fully understand the situation.… they don't believe me when I say these interdicts won't change anything…"

Kirk was agitated and speaking fast. McCoy remained silent and let his friend to steam some of his tension off. "This government won't budge with this kind of threats… Bones, these are just the helpless people getting punished because of their governors… why can't these admirals understand that they will stop at nothing to keep their positions… not even killing their own people… just to shut them down... " His voice was quivering with anger.

McCoy didn't know what to say. He tried nonetheless.

"Then we have to make them understand, Jim. We need evidence, hard evidence. We won't let them take you away from us. We will keep our brash charming captain, no matter what." Kirk smiled mirthlessly at that, but it was still a smile, just as was McCoy's intention.

"I've already done that Bones. I've sent all the information we could get, pictures, video scan results. I've written my report and explained the situation. Even the results from the previous observation parties correlates with ours; that this government needs to go if we are to save the people. But interdiction doesn't do that! This harsh punishment would only push them over the edge. But if my plans work, everything will be alright. But the stakes are too high." His last sentence was a mere gut wrenching whisper.

McCoy gently put his hand on the captain's. "It's not the first time we are in some tight spot and it won't be the last. But we can get through this, together. Now you'd better start trusting us as much as we trust you." Kirk blushed slightly. "I didn't want to put anybody else in this mess." "Don't Jim!" he warned, "We are in this together. Get it? Every single officer on this ship would bet his life on your discretion. They would fallow you into hell itself. Now get a grip on yourself, you've got a ship to run. We gotta show those stupid bastard who's right and who's not." "That's right."

The captain stood up with a vigor he did not possess just a minute ago. At the door, he turned to the CMO, "thanks Bones." McCoy smiled back and nodded. He knew thing weren't getting easier from this point on, but he knew he could face the hell itself if he had a determined James Kirk with him.

Kirk walked to the nearest turbo lift, while McCoy's words were playing over and over in his head. Despite his rather calmer mind, he still couldn't help fearing the outcome of this mission. He didn't want his crew to fallow him through hell. Because if things went south, it would be hell itself. He knew too well he was betting his whole career disobeying in such big magnitude.

He tried to compose himself a little more convincingly before stepping out of the lift and on to the bridge. However, the look his first officer gave him told him he had been read. His eyes were silently offering reassurance. Kirk shook his head in negation, answering the unspoken question. Although he knew Spock already had his answer just by looking at his Captain. Without further explanation, Kirk hit the comm button on his chair's arm rest. "Transporter room, alert the landing party. We'll beam down in ten minutes. Kirk out.

What do you think?