About 2 months until the Choosing Ceremony I was walking around by the chasm when a boy I knew as Freddy came up to me.
"Hello Toni how are you?" he asked.
"Well fine and dandy thanks for asking," I snapped wanting the 15 year old to leave me alone.
"Well someone rolled out of bed on the wrong side," Freddy said sarcastically, "Maybe it's the family problems."
I felt anger boil up inside of me and turned to the kid, "Someone's got guts."
"Geez man maybe you could give them a second chance?" Freddy suggested.
"A second chance? Do you know where my mother is because no one else in the 5 factions seem to know." I sneered at the kid.
"Well your brother?" he asked.
That's when I lost control and punched the kid. He punched back but I dodged it, and I punched him again in the face pulling him into a headlock and repeatedly hitting him.
Freddy elbowed me and kicked me even clawed my arm leaving scratch marks. Slowly I lost my grip and he punched me in eye.
Ignoring the pain I kicked him to the ground and continued to kick him even when he lost consciousness, his body mangled and bloody laying on the ground. I had finally cracked someone pulled me away, Rachel, I growled at her breaking away from her grip and stalked off.
Later that day I heard whispers as I walked past with my black eye and scratches that I had almost killed Freddy. I had almost killed someone; I thought I was above this it's something Victor would do. Which also I had heard he had slept with a girl Rebecca and she may be kicked out of Candor for lying about it. Now I had joined the family business of ruining people's lives as well, I was no different from Victor.
I ran my way up to the train station and sat on the roof of the building where the Dauntless entrance was. Sitting on the edge of the building my legs dangled over the edge.
How easily it would be to just fall over the edge of the building and tumble to the concrete below, how easy it would be to end the mess called Antoine Daniel Anderling.
I was dead already, no one depended on me, not Victor, I was a burden to Shaun's family, and the rest of my family gone. I would be doing the world a favor, I was dead already.
I slowly stood and took a shaky breath gazing at the ground below me hoping it would be quick. I held out my arms like a bird and jumped.
An arm grabbed my wrist as my feet left the ground and pulled me back to the solid ground.
"You really didn't need to take your own life man," Shaun said.
"Leave me alone, I deserved it." I glared at the floor.
"No you didn't," Shaun said and walked back to his house as I reluctantly followed.
The next morning I skipped school and went to the tattoo parlor and had a simple word inked in between my shoulder blades, hope.