Four Weeks Later . . .

Mike Danko opened the front door to his sister-in-law Amanda. She smiled seeing him, and immediately enveloped him in a hug.

"Morning." She said, as he kissed her cheek. "Where's that bratty, little sister of mine?"

"Out back. I was just bringing her a hat." He said indicating the knit cap in his hand. It was a light, pink wool knit with a crocheted flower on the side. He led her around back to the patio where Jill sat in a chaise lounge, a blanket tucked around her thin frame.

"Hey, Baby. Look who followed me inside." He said indicating Amanda.

"My babysitter." Jill said wryly.

"Well, you get into trouble when left alone." He said kissing her on her smooth, bald head. He gently put the hat on her head. "There. That'll keep you warm."

"I look like an idiot." She said grumpily.

"You look beautiful." He said, hoarsely. "Come on, Baby. Don't fuss."

"Oh, she's always grumpy when she doesn't feel good." Amanda said knowingly. "When she was two she had the chicken pox, and threw a book at Dad when he asked how she was feeling. She gets away with murder because she's so damn pretty, but don't kid yourself, that girl's got a temper."

Amanda sat down on a chair beside Jill and gave her arm a gentle nudge. "You remember that?"

"No. I threw a book at Dad? I bet. I get mad enough these days to . . ." She glanced at Mike. "I'm sorry honey. You have a good day. We'll sit and gossip in between throwing up."

"Maybe I should stay home." He hesitated. He dreaded leaving her, but look forward to it too; the release from the constant worry and struggle. A wave of guilt swept over him. "They would understand."

"No. Amanda is here. I'm covered. Go on. Cancer or not, this family still has to eat." She said. "And one of us had better go to work to pay for it."

"Okay." He sat beside her, and ran a gentle hand across her forehead, as though pushing the hair she no longer had away from her face. Even bald and frail, she was still pretty. Her eyes seemed to have grown bigger as her face had become thinner. She mourned the loss of her hair deeply, but tried to keep a good attitude about it. He had shaved his head too - in an act of solidarity. She ran her hand over his head.

"We better get you a stocking cap, too. You're gonna freeze come winter." She said. "Go on, Mike. I'll be okay. It will be good for you to get away. You need something else to think about."

He nodded his head at her, and holding her hand in his, kissed her fingers. "You girls call if you need anything." He rose slowly with a backward glance at Jill. "I love you, Babe."

"I love you, too. Now, go away. We only got these few hours before the kids get home. We want to talk about you behind your back." She winked at him.

"Don't worry, Mike." Amanda said cheerfully. "We'll be fine."

He lifted a hand in a wave and disappeared inside the house. They heard the door close a few minutes later.

"Is he doing okay?" Amanda asked.

"I don't know. He's doing the best he can. We both are." Jill said with a shrug. "He can't tell me everything. He talks to Terry, and to Eddie."

"He's a good man. You did so much better than me." Amanda said with a sigh.

"I got lucky." Jill said with a grin.

"You need anything?" Amanda asked, settling back in the chair.

"No. I'll probably throw up again in about fifteen minutes, but right now I'm alright. It's so nice outside. I'm sick of laying in that bed. I wanted to get outside."

"Why don't I go get a bowl for you, just in case?" Amanda asked. "Then you won't have to walk all the way to the bathroom."

"Walking to the bathroom is the only outing I get." Jill said sadly. "And to think just four weeks ago, I used to go running twice a week. God, this medicine is awful! You know Dr. Peterson said some folks don't lose their hair until the second round - lucky me! Two weeks in and it all falls out."

"It means the medicine is working." Amanda said.

"I know what it means. It just is a pretty crappy deal."

"Well, I was always jealous of your hair." Amanda admitted. "You were always so damn thin and beautiful. It never seemed fair."

"Things have evened out then." Jill said with a smile.

"Jill!" Amanda said shocked.

"Oh, come on. What's the good of having cancer if you can't joke about it. Don't look like that!"

"You've been trouble since the day you were born." Amanda said shaking her head.

"I can imagine." Jill sighed. "'Manda?"

"Yes?"

"Maybe you should go ahead and get that bowl; just in case." Jill said softly.

"Okay." Amanda said reaching out and squeezing Jill's arm. "Okay."

***R***

Mike Danko stepped into the familiar station house. It seemed that it had been ages since he'd last been there. In truth, it had only been six days. He had worked off and on since Jill had begun treatment. He was trying to conserve his sick days for her upcoming surgery. He avoided talking to anyone at work. They were quick to ask about Jill and he had no answers; it was too soon to tell. He changed quickly and headed out to roll call.

He walked toward the familiar, musky room. As he pushed open the door, he was stunned as every man in the room stood suddenly to attention. He glanced behind him, expecting to see the police chief, but was surprised to find himself alone.

"It's for you, dummy." The watch commander said.

Mike looked from face to face at each man that he had served with - some since their days at the academy, others for just a few years. He was shocked to discover that nearly every man had shaved their head. His eyes filled with tears and he ducked his head, embarrassed.

Chris stepped forward then, "We just wanted you to know that we stand behind you, is all. Hell, half of us were nearly bald to begin with so there's no need to get all blubbery about it. You don't got to worry about your sick days either. A bunch of us donated some of ours. You've got plenty banked. You take care of Jill. She's done a good job of taking care of most of us here, and now it's her turn."

Speechless, Mike could only nod. He turned to the men closest to him, and shook their hands. He worked his way around the room, shaking the hand of every man there. It was only as he had worked his way around the room that he was finally able to speak again.

"Thank you." Was all he could manage. "Thank you."

"Well, if you are all finished with your Hallmark moment," The watch commander said. "We've got a city to police, if that's alright with you Danko?"

"That'd be fine, sir." He said sheepishly and sliding into a nearby seat.

He cornered Chris as soon as they'd all been dismissed.

"Thanks man." He said to him.

"For what? You think I shaved their heads?" He shook his head. "Nah, man that wasn't me. But don't get conceited, it wasn't you either."

Mike wrinkled his brow, "What do you mean?"

"Look around you, man. Name one man in this building whose wife hasn't received a phone call from Jill Danko to encourage them. Name me one person who hasn't eaten something she's cooked for us, or hasn't had their children play in your backyard. Not to mention all the fellas, she's patched up at the hospital or in your living room. Your wife is legendary, pal. We did it for her."

Chris cleared his throat, looking away embarrassed by his emotions. Mike swallowed twice remembering why he found talking to people at work so difficult. They said things like this and he felt himself awash in a sea of emotions. He struggled to find his way out of what was turning into an intense morning. Smiling he nodded his head, and patted Chris on the shoulder.

"She's also an incredible kisser, but only I know that." He grinned.

"You are such a jerk, Danko." Chris said laughing and giving him a shove.

"I really am." He agreed.

"She could do ten billion times better than you." Chris said with a shake of his head.

"One hundred billion." He sighed grateful that Chris had understood; grateful to have something beside Jill's life hanging in the balance to think about.

"I guess it's time to hit those mean streets. I wonder what everyone will think."

"What do you mean?" Chris asked.

"A third of the force is suddenly bald! Someone might notice."

"Hopefully, the right ones will find it intimidating." Chris remarked.

***R***

"Well, our biggest concern is that you were underweight to begin with." Dr. Peterson said. "And now . . ."

"Listen, those charts are just estimates. You know that! Every person is different. I've always been underweight - my whole life, but I've always been healthy. Until chemo, I ate all the time. Ask Mike." Jill turned to him.

"Well, yeah. We've been married sixteen years and I've seen her eat like, let me see," He rubbed his chin dramatically. "I don't know, maybe four times."

"Mike!" She slapped his arm irritated.

"Well, it's good to see your spirits are up." The doctor said. "I think we should wait another week. Schedule the surgery for the 17th instead. It will give you a chance to get a little bit stronger."

Jill sighed, frustrated. "I want this to be over."

"It will be." Dr. Peterson said patiently.

"Babe, he's just looking out for you." Mike told her.

"I know that. I was just hoping . . . this sets everything back a week!"

"But better that than your white cell count gets so low that we have to suspend everything and hospitalize you." Dr. Peterson said gently.

"I'm sorry." Jill said quietly. "I should know better. If I were the nurse and not the patient, I would say the same thing." She looked down, embarrassed by her show of temper.

"You've got nothing to apologize for." Dr. Peterson said. "This isn't easy. I know it's disappointing."

"The 17th will be fine." Jill said with a sigh. "Thank you, John. I know you've pushed your whole schedule around for this. I really do appreciate it."

"Don't apologize. It's the least I could do." He said with a smile. "You have any last minute questions. Did you get a chance to look at those photos I gave you?"

"Yeah, we did." Mike said quietly.

"I know it's shocking, but it helps to know what to expect. You can think about reconstruction later. There's a lot that can be done."

"Once I recover from the surgery, that's when they'll start the last round of chemo?" Jill asked.

"That's right, and then radiation. But we'll run tests first, to see what is the most appropriate course of action. They'll take samples from your lymph nodes too, during surgery so that they can run more specific tests." Dr. Peterson said. "Your treatment will be based on those results. We might recommend several more rounds of chemo, or just radiation. It depends on what we find."

"Okay." She said. "Thanks for everything." She rose slowly from the examining table where she had sat with her long legs dangling. Mike rose from his chair in the corner, handing her a sweater.

"Thanks, Dr. Peterson." Mike said with hand outstretched. He gripped the doctor's hand firmly.

"You're welcome. Your wife is our best nurse. Everyone loves her." He nodded at Jill.

They rode home in silence, Jill starring out the passenger window. He watched her out of the corner of his eye.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked her.

"That little restaurant we used to go to - the place with those fish tacos you loved, remember?""

"Iggy's!" He said laughing. "I think the health department shut that place down."

"I hope so." She said with a smile. "I went there once without you."

"You did?"

"You were in some stupid stand-off. That guy who took his kids hostage?"

"Robert Beardly."

"Yeah, and I was home waiting, so worried and watching the news. I couldn't take it anymore and had to get out. So I went down to Iggy's. I don't know if he'd seen the news or what, but he fixed me a grilled cheese sandwich. It wasn't on the menu, but it's what I'd asked for and he sat with me while I ate it. He didn't charge me anything at all, either. I was sort of out of it, I guess. I don't think I even had my purse. As I left, he handed me a bag with fish tacos for you and told me to come back if I got too lonesome."

"Wait, Iggy said that? Or the kid that used to work there?" Mike asked with eyebrow raised.

"Iggy." She turned and looked at him laughing. "You are jealous? He wasn't hitting on me! I was twenty-five years old and he must have been fifty-six!"

"It just sounds suspicious," Mike said grumpily. "What made you think of that anyway?"

"I don't know. I was thinking of how many nice people there are. And I was thinking about how nice it was - back when we used to go there. You'd pick me up from work and we'd sit and talk for hours. There wasn't anything to worry about." She turned to him with a smile.

"It will be that way again." He said reaching for her hand.

"I sure hope so." She said turning to look back out the window.

He drove silently, but didn't turn toward their house, instead he headed out to the beach. He pulled the car to a stop.

"Come on, Babe." He said opening her door.

"The girls . . ."

"Eddie's there. They have probably convinced him to feed them a gallon of ice cream each. They are happy as can be. Come on."

He held his hand out to her, and she took it. It was an overcast afternoon, and so the beach was relatively empty. He glanced at Jill's thin sweater, and dug around in the back of the station wagon, finding his old pea coat. He wrapped her in it, pulling the collar up protectively.

"Warm?" He asked his hands resting on her shoulders. She nodded her head and looped her arm through his. They walked along the shore, where the waves couldn't reach them. If she'd been feeling better, she would've taken her shoes off, and walked at the water's edge, but now she got cold too quickly. He walked slowly, and just a short ways down the beach, not wanting to tire her out. They stopped at a log that had washed up on shore, and sat together on it, side-by-side.

"This is nice." She said leaning her head on his shoulder.

"You aren't too cold?'

"Not just now." She turned to look at him. His warm, blue eyes rested on her. She loved the small wrinkles, and lines that radiated out from his eyes; the result of a lifetime of smiling. Women were always drawn to his eyes. They were so bright and such a beautiful shade of blue, but she knew it was the loving kindness they held, that drew people to him.

"You're staring at me." He said embarrassed.

"You're eyes are so beautiful." She said for the thousandth time and he blushed. He shook his head at her with a shy grin.

"You're crazy." He said embarrassed.

She laughed amazed that he could still feel embarrassed by her compliments.

"You are so cute, sometimes."

"You better knock it off or I'll pick you up and toss you in those waves, Danko."

"Oh, I'd like to see you try! Listen, Mister, I might be little, but I can take you out any day of the week." She said.

"You're lucky, I'm feeling sorry for you just now, or I'd prove you wrong."

"Oh, hiding behind pity for the poor, sick, cancer girl." She said surprising herself.

"You are nothing but trouble." He said wrapping both his arms around her, and resting his chin on top of her head. "It's gonna take me at least another twenty years to get you in line."

"'Get me in line?' Forty years couldn't do it. It might take me that long to get you thinking like a modern man."

"Alright, we can settle on another eighty, just to be safe." He said as she leaned back against his chest. "But we might need to stretch it out to a hundred - you strike me as being pretty stubborn."

"One hundred sounds good." She agreed.

"I'll stick around, if you will."

"Oh, I'm in it for the long haul." She said fighting down sudden tears.

They sat in a comfortable silence then, watching the waves. She found she was happier than she'd been in weeks. She might have a mastectomy looming, but at least for the next two weeks, she had no more chemotherapy. She knew from experience that in a few days she would be feeling better again - she would be able to play with her daughters and cook for her family. And no matter what, no matter what she was feeling, Mike would be there; always. The sky began to grow dark with a threatening storm.

"Come on, Baby. It's getting cold." He said at last. "You must be freezing."

She rose slowly, but turned to face him. "Michael Danko, I love you." She wrapped her arms around him, and standing on tiptoe she kissed him.

"Oh, Jill," He said as she rested her head against his shoulder. "Sometimes love seems like too small a word."