A/N: (LOL I thought I posted this months ago. I even wrote the A/N and everything. Sorry. I've got most of the rest of the story finished too. I feel kind of bad because I'd really meant to post it all long ago!)

(Several months old A/N) So anyone else ready to pull their hair out from reading the ending of The Indigo Spell? I was like "yay they're finally together" then "Nooo Zoe? WTF?" but it's all good fun. Can't be happy until everything has gone to hell a few times, right?

The Fiery Heart will be out in November and from what I've heard it will be split between Sage and Adrian's POV. Very exciting stuff even if part of Adrian's allure (to me at least) is the fact that I have no clue what he's thinking. I'm also guessing Sydney will end up in Re-Education and Adrian will bust her out, hence the need for dual POV. Plus lots of other things to be sure! Right now I'm too excited about the next Mercy Thompson book coming out in a week to be depressed about how long it's until November.

On another note – just read Beautiful Creatures, the one they just made a movie from. It's kind of Twilight with witches told from a boy's POV. While I enjoyed it fine it wasn't anything new and I could probably have lived without it. Hoping the movie will be more of an experiences and I will be watching it once it get released on DVD.

-Three-

Please don't stand so close to me, I'm having trouble breathing

I'm afraid of what you'll see, right now

I'll give you everything I am

All my broken heartbeats until I know you'll understand

Sydney wasn't having a good day. Jill wasn't talking to her. Angelina had participated in a food fight at lunch and gotten a whole bunch of detentions. All this plus the fact that Sydney's coffee maker was on the fritz. And she needed her coffee since she had woken up three hours too early- courtesy of Adrian - and been afraid to go back to sleep.

Afraid she would be back in the spirit dream. The dream that was too cruel, too real and too impossible.

So to say she wasn't having a good day was an understatement. And she had had to deal with it all without coffee.

So by the time she knocked on Adrian's apartment door she was about ready to lose it. Not something that usually happened to Sydney Sage.

"Right on time," Adrian said dryly as he opened the door for her. For a moment she just stared at him, his green eyes, rumpled hair and unbelievably handsome face. "Waited for school to finish before coming to yell at me? How very predictable of you Sage."

He turned and walked into the living room.

"Adrian this thing between us, it can't, I mean," Sydney started as she walked into the living room after him, "it can't ever be. Can't ever work out. So you have to stop. Stay away."

"Ouch, getting right to it are we?" Adrian said, sounding a lot calmer than she had expected. She wasn't exactly sure what she had expected. For him to apologize to her? For him to yell?

"I told you-"

"Yeah you told me," he grumbled as he grabbed a paint brush. "I'm just not so sure this is the time to listen to that brain of yours; to your words." He said it in a lower voice, not as venomous as his earlier comments.

"Adrian, I, I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling more confused than ever. Being back in his apartment, seeing him, being so close to him yet so far away was making the fact that he was a vampire and she an alchemist and that just being here was really stupid - fly out the window.

She sat on the sofa as Adrian began to paint, his movements jerky. He was clearly agitated, she just couldn't understand what he had to be angry about. He wasn't the one whose mind had been violated. Whose whole world had been thrown around. Her face felt cold then hot as she remembered the dream.

She remembered how scared she'd been when her father had come for her, come for him. She hadn't been able to help either one of them. That impossible situation was where they were headed. So why would she let herself feel for him, why risk it?

It was doomed to fail.

Even if he wasn't a vampire and she not an alchemist it probably wouldn't have worked. She needed someone like Brayden, who was smart and liked to talk about things like renewable energy...only Brayden hadn't made her heart beat faster, hadn't made her body respond, his kisses had made her feel nothing. Unlike the kiss Adrian and she had shared, that kiss had been real.

"You want a soda?" Adrian said, snapping Sydney out of her musings. "I bought you some diet ones."

"Yeah," she said absentmindedly. Maybe some fake sugar would get her brain to start working again. Because she was actually thinking about the Kiss. Something she had promised herself not to.

The other day when she left after the kiss, she'd said to herself she wasn't going to think about even the possibility of a relationship with Adrian. Because frankly she was worried that if she began to the idea might over ride her logical thinking.

Adrian handed her a soda, then sat in the armchair across from her, studying her. It was a bit unnerving to be watched so closely and she squirmed as she opened her drink.

She imagined what it would be like if he sat next to her, if they were as close as they had been after the Halloween dance. Imagined him telling her she was the most beautiful creature in the world again. To kiss him again. Imagined what it would be like to have him, to be able to let go of the alchemist and vampire stuff and just give it a try. Just see if Adrian and she couldn't make each other…happy.

That horrible yet wonderful realization that if they had been just two ordinary people she'd have tried, made her realize she had been wrong to push him away. Even if they couldn't be together he deserved honesty.

"So I guess it was a lie," she said abruptly, feeling as if his stare was digging out all her deep dark secrets.

"Huh?" Adrian frowned, his green eyes becoming confused. "What was a lie?"

"I do want to try… this, us," she said quickly while looking at her soda can. "I mean, I want…well, you."

"I knew that already," he said, making her head snap up. He chuckled."I am very lovable. It would have been strange if you didn't fall for me."

She didn't find his attempt at lighting the mood at all amusing. "But don't you see Adrian?" She said. "It can't work!"

"We're back to that," he said, leaning back in the armchair.

"Don't you agree though? Don't you see? You wanting to be with me and me with you it goes against-"

"Everything. Yes." His eyes were grave. "But that isn't going to stop me."

She took a deep breath, not wanting to hear his words, not wanting to know how far he was willing to go. "But it won't lead to anything. If I was with you…and they found out. It wouldn't be good."

"True," he said slowly. "But I still want you."

She fiddled with her soda can, somehow sure she was blushing. She wanted to say something more to dissuade him but found she'd lost her voice. It was somehow strangely exciting to hear him say that. That he wanted her. That he wanted them, enough to break some very old vampire rules.

Only it wasn't right, because even if she wanted to be with him she couldn't. She should put a stop to it. But she couldn't make herself do it.

A few moments more passed before Adrian spoke again."So where does that leave us?"

Sydney had no idea.

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