Rachel bounded with excitement as the family headed for the corral. She was going to see a real horse for the first time and Ruby was fairly certain the entire camp had heard about it.
"Hurry, Daddy! I don't want anyone to put them to bed before we get there!" Rachel grabbed Julie's hand and tugged her along. "Julie, maybe we can pick out the ones we want to ride."
Daniel trailed behind the girls, holding onto Ruby's arm. He wrinkled his nose at the tangy smell as they approached the corral where the riding horses were kept. He heard their hooves shuffling in the dirt and the swish of their tails as they batted at flies. Ruby halted and placed Daniel's hands on the wooden fence.
"Daniel, climb up on the first rail and we'll try to get one of the horses to come over so you can meet it." Ruby turned to Rachel, "Child, if you don't settle down none of the horses will come anywhere near us."
Rachel immediately stopped bouncing about and climbed up on the rail next to Daniel. George whistled and several of the horses looked in their direction. He whistled once again and two of the animals separated themselves from the herd and ambled over, heads tossing.
Julie clung to Ruby, not certain that she wanted anything that huge near enough to take a chunk out of her. Rachel, wide-eyed with wonder, stood as still as she could when a chestnut horse with a white blaze on its face stopped in front of her. She looked up at her father for reassurance and when he nodded, she tentatively stuck out one finger to stroke its nose.
A huge grin broke out on her face. "Daddy! Its nose is so soft!" The horse nickered softly and stepped a little closer to nuzzle Rachel, almost knocking her off the fence. George stepped behind Rachel to keep her from being pushed off the fence and he placed a hand on Daniel's back to steady him.
Daniel listened to the sound of the gentle beast next to him. With Rachel stroking it, it seemed to Daniel that he could almost hear it purr with pleasure. It smelled of sweat and leather, not an unpleasant odor, but strong and wild. George shifted just enough behind Rachel to be able to take one of Daniel's hands and place it on the horse's neck.
Daniel cocked his head as he concentrated on the feel of the horse under his hand. He could feel the brute force of the neck muscles as the horse turned its massive head toward Daniel. When the animal's attention left Rachel and focused on Daniel, he began sneezing repeatedly, startling the horse. The horse backed up several steps and swung its head from side to side as if trying to watch Daniel with both eyes at the same time.
"I think I'd better take Daniel back to the cabin and give him a dose of his allergy medicine." Ruby tried to set Julie down, but she clung to her mother and pushed her face into Ruby's side. Ruby grinned up at George. "Looks like I'm taking Julie with us. We'll meet you at the dinning hall for dinner."
George leaned down and gave his wife a quick kiss while Daniel started another round of sneezing. "Better hurry," he ruffled Daniel's hair, "before this guy stops breathing entirely."
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That night, after the kids were finally settled in bed, George grabbed Ruby's hand and led her out into the starry night. They walked a few yards from the cabin and George pulled her into his arms as he leaned against a tree. She leaned against him, grateful for his warmth in the cool evening air. The couple just stood, content to just be together. Ruby recalled what her husband did for a living and she wrapped her arms around him, grateful that he was here, safe, with her.
"Honey," George cradled her head against his chest with his hand, "remember what the counselors told us about children and grief? About how it takes longer for a child to go through the levels of grief than it does for an adult. Well, I was watching Daniel today and I think he's finally leaving the denial stage and entering the anger stage."
Ruby sighed, the romance of the moment gone as worry replaced it. "I've seen him in the back yard pounding on a basketball a few times. As least he hasn't turned his anger toward any people yet."
"We need to watch him and find a good way for him to physically get that anger out. God knows the child has good reason to be angry with life." He looked down at the woman he loved more than he even loved his children. He turned her chin up and leaned in for a kiss. Grinning, he said, "Now, how about we find a nice private hiding place?"
Ruby grabbed his hand and dragged him off deeper into the woods near the cabin.
XXXXXXXXXX
With breakfast eaten and the cabin straightened up, the family changed into their bathing suits and strolled down to the swimming pool. There were two pools open for the campers. One was a regulation Olympic pool with high diving boards. This was for those campers who had no disabilities. Next to that one was an Olympic-sized pool, but it was only four feet deep and had a long, sloping ramp at one end for people in wheelchairs to enter the pool. It also had several rows of rope strung from one side of the pool to the other for vision impaired swimmers to hang onto.
Ruby went off to the regular pool with the girls and George headed to the shallower pool with Daniel.
"Okay, son, I know you've never been swimming before, but everywhere in this pool you'll be able to stand up and keep your nose above the water. I'll be right next to you the entire time, so you can't get lost." George took Daniel's towel and set it on a bench with his own. "Any questions?"
Daniel shook his head. George took Daniel's hand and led him over to the steps. "There are six steps to the bottom."
Holding George's hand, Daniel dipped his toe into the heated water. The water lapped over his foot in greeting. Daniel smiled and adjusted the dark goggles strapped around his head, grateful for the blocking out of the glare of the sunlight reflecting off the water. He walked down the steps, but stopped when the water reached his waist and clung tighter to George's hand. The water was sloshing gently at his bare stomach and he could feel the loose material of his bathing suit swishing around his hips. The lower part of his body felt almost weightless and he could feel the water trying to lift him off his feet.
George waited patiently, wondering what was going through Daniel's mind. Even though he had been speaking for over six months, he rarely shared anything about himself. Most of what he had to say to the family had to do with what he was learning and his excitement at being able to suck in knowledge as fast as it could be fed to him.
Daniel went down the final two steps and stiffened when the water slapped him on his face. He rose on his toes as high as he could without losing contact with the bottom. Gripping George's hand, he let himself be led to a rope. George guided one hand to the lifeline and allowed Daniel to hold him with the other.
"Daniel, would you feel comfortable if I teach you to float?"
Comfortable? In a totally alien environment that threatens to pull me under and suck the life out of my lungs? NO!
Daniel shrugged, "Sure. I guess so."
"Good. I'm going to let go of your hand and support your back. I will not move away from you unless you tell me to. Ready?"
Daniel nodded and chewed on his lip.
George did exactly what he said he would. Daniel lay back, eyes closed, sound blocked by the water sloshing against his ears; weightless. He fixed his attention on his body without any senses except touch to connect him to the world. The warm water enveloped him like a cocoon and he felt protected, isolated. The gentle rocking motion of the pool water relaxed him and he felt free. Free from fear, free from responsibility, free from guilt.
Daniel stiffened and began to sink. He flung his arms and legs around, fighting the water until George hauled him up into a reassuring hug. Guilt. It was his fault his parents were dead and he had allowed himself to begin to forget that. To begin enjoying something when he had no right to enjoy anything, ever.
"Get me out! I want to go back to the cabin!" Daniel snarled in George's ear.
"It's all right, son. I've got you." George, thinking Daniel was afraid of the water, debated with himself about taking him out or making him stay and conquer his fear.
"I don't feel good. My stomach hurts. I think I'm going to be sick!"
That ended the mental debate and George hurried them out of the pool. He grabbed their towels and wrapped the shivering child in the dry terry cloth, rubbing his arms vigorously to warm him up.
Ruby had been watching them from the corner of her eye and looked across the pool in question at George. George nodded and called to her. "I'm taking Daniel back to the cabin. He says he's not feeling well and he looks pale."
Ruby nodded and turned her attention back to the girls who were racing each other in the shallow end of the pool.