Lost Before The Dawn
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Warnings: None.
Chapter Playlist: The main theme from 'Brave' which I think we'd all agree applies to Jane in this story, and 'Walter's Burial' from 'Robin Hood'.
'Curiosity is one of the forms of feminine bravery.'
-Victor Hugo
Jane groaned as she slowly managed to come back to the land of the living. Her head ached, again, as she levered herself up on her elbows.
She was back in her prison again, stretched out on that length of green silk. The familiar sounds of footsteps and people talking filled her ears again, and she glanced around.
And was shocked to see her guard was gone.
Warily, she pulled herself upright and then moved into the doorway, glancing outside. Still, no guard.
Frowning, she pondered what that could mean, as she forced her aching head to remember everything that had happened.
They'd been up on the roof. Loki had fed her, accidentally revealed a little more than he'd wanted to, then physically threatened her with slavery and being his Queen, before dragging her back down here to look into the Tesseract.
The man was practically a walking case study in passive-aggressive psychosis. Although…Jane wasn't sure anymore if he was truly mad, not the way she'd thought he was.
Memories of those visions the Tesseract had shown her filtered into her head, as she slowly walked down the damp hallway.
Was that what had led him to become a power-hungry madman? That pain, that anguish, that…desolation?
Jane shuddered again, just thinking about the way he had looked, the agony in his eyes after the Giant had touched his skin.
His entire life had been a lie. Raised a Prince, promised a throne, and he'd been nothing more than a diplomatic pawn. Ouch.
And now here he was, trying to take the Earth for his own. Why?
Jane had a niggling feeling that was one part of the key to solving this puzzle. Like an equation, if she just figured this out, she could….what? Save him? Save everyone?
That was what the voice had said before she blacked out.
She shivered, as she remembered the burning glow of the Tesseract as it took her mind into its depths, and how much it reminded her of Loki's eyes.
Loki's eyes had been green in those visions she'd seen. A deep, gleaming emerald green. Now they swung between, from green to eerie blue.
What did that signify? Was he like the others, possessed somehow by the Tesseract? Or by someone else using the Tesseract remotely? If so, what had they done to him?
He didn't remind her of the others she'd seen him enslave using the Sceptre. He was too much in full possession of himself, too mercurial. No, she sensed it was something subtler than the control he exerted over James, Agent Barton and the rest.
Understand, Jane Foster, and you might just save us all…
Remembering that voice, made of starlight and burning power, Jane shivered.
What was she meant to do? Understand what?
The dim shadows of the hallway held no answers.
Loki sat, cross-legged, in a hallway just off the main chamber where Stanley and his scientists worked on the Tesseract.
He had left Jane, comatose and limp, in her room, pausing only to once again stroke her hair back from her face before leaving her.
He had lost his control, up on the roof. She had elicited a forgotten memory with her appreciation of the stars' beauty, and he had lashed out, like a wounded animal.
Pathetic. Weak. He was above that now. Above such childish sentiment.
He did not want to think about the warmth the memory had evoked, nor the confusion the mortal woman's pity had brought out within him.
There should be no confusion. He was a monster, the son of a monster. Thanos had made him see that, and in truth, he had accepted it. He was a monster, but one destined for so much more than either of his narrow-minded sires had ever dreamed.
One was beyond his reach, now, by his own hand, but the other would soon see his folly in dismissing him.
No. There was no confusion.
"Mother, I'm confused. I don't understand-" his child-self muttered sullenly, glaring down at his books.
"And what do we do when we are confused, my son?" Frigg smiled down at him, stroking his hair, smoothing it back into place. "We find the answer to our question, Loki. Don't give up, Loki."
No, no, no!
That was lies, all lies. Untrue, wrong, deceptive. He would not think of them, of her.
Damn that mortal. He had felt no confusion before he took her.
He conjured the Sceptre into his hand, feeling its heavy, cold weight in his palm with something akin to relief.
He was Loki, son of no one, and he would rule this world. Soon.
Summoning his power, he closed his eyes as the jewel nestled in-between the blades of the Sceptre glowed a bright, burning blue, and his perception of the world shifted.
The walls of the underground tunnels melted away, and he was stood, in his full battle regalia, the Sceptre fully extended in one hand, as the Other prowled from the shadows.
The stars shone but dimly here, in the shadow and haze that surrounded Titan and the asteroid belt that ringed the planet. Everything seemed dimmed, cold, and he suppressed a shiver as he faced the repulsive emissary of Thanos.
"The Chitauri grow restless."
"Let them gird themselves," he murmured, idly pacing from one spot to another. Let his warriors work themselves into a frenzy. It would be all to the good; the humans would not know what hit them. "I will lead them in the glorious battle."
"Battle?" the Other scoffed. "Against the meagre might of Earth?"
"Glorious, not lengthy," Loki replied, contemptuously. He thought of Jane but brushed it aside. "If your force is as formidable as you claim."
"You question us? You question him?" the Other snarled, placing one six-fingered hand against the glittering rock. Loki eyed him, then the iridescent stairway leading up into oblivion, one he had climbed many times before, when he first landed on Titan, when he first was dragged into Thanos' presence.
Where he first learned the truth about his life, his purpose.
"He who put the Sceptre in your hand? Who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose when you were cast out? Defeated?"
"I was a King!" Loki snarled, his temper already thin from his temporary loss of control with Jane. "The rightful king of Asgard. Betrayed."
"Your ambition is little, and born of childish need," the Other sneered, as Loki turned away. "We look beyond the Earth to the greater worlds the Tesseract will unveil."
He faced the cloaked and shrouded Other with a sardonically quirked brow. "You don't have the Tesseract yet." The Other turned on him with a snarl, bloody teeth gleaming sickeningly, but Loki merely raised the Sceptre warningly. Even at the risk of Thanos' displeasure, he would kill this stunted worm gladly. "I don't threaten, but until you open the doors; until your force is mine to command, you are but words," he hissed softly. The Other's reptilian face did not change, but he lowered his hand as he stepped away, stalking around Loki, making his skin crawl beneath his armour.
"You will have your war, Asgardian," the Other growled menacingly. "If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no Realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he cannot find you."
Loki fought not to recoil as the Other's stinking breath washed against his neck, as he leaned in, his words dripping like poison into his ear.
"You think you know pain?" the creature continued. "He will make you long for something sweet as pain!"
He felt the slightest pressure against his temple, as a memory rose up, bitter and painful.
The pull of the wormhole beneath him was almost too strong to resist, as he clung onto the shaft of Gungnir. His cloak flapped around him, trapping his legs, and he could not move.
"Thor! Thor!" he called out to his brother, who held the other end, watching him with scornful, contemptuous eyes. "Help me, brother!"
"Nay, Loki," he growled. "You were never worthy to be King. You are not worthy to walk away with your life now."
"Father, please!" he cried out, looking to the All-Father, crouched beside Loki.
The All-Father's eyes were merciless, pitiless as they glared down at him, the cuckoo, the unwanted son, the trophy, the relic. "No, Loki."
Thor let go of Gungnir, and the smile on his golden face was all but demonic.
He was thrown from the memory, as the pressure turned to a blow, and his head was driven sideways by the force of it. His head ached, with pain and rage, bile rising in his throat as he grit his teeth and forced it away.
The pain, the anger…the cloying newness of the fear. He would not fail, he could not.
When he opened his eyes, it was to see Jane stood, watching him calmly, without pity or fear in those dark eyes.
He would not lose. He could not.
"You are awake," he murmured, rising from his place on the floor, the Sceptre fading from sight in a flare of gold from his palm. She didn't say anything, just watched him.
Feeling oddly uncomfortable, which did not soothe his temper, he turned to leave when her voice, soft, musical, made him pause.
"Why are you doing this?"
He turned, and faced her, where she stood, brave and fearless and defiant, watching him closely.
"I am doing this because you need me, Jane Foster," he replied, stepping towards her, but she did not move back. "Your entire race needs me, needs a ruler who will cut through the morass of identity and freedom you so desperately reach for, when it is so much simpler to attain neither."
"I will give you guidance, and protection. I will allow none to harm what is mine, and in return, you will bow to me," he continued, stopping before her, looking into her eyes intently. "I will build a new world for us all, a paradise. Do you not see, Jane? Do you not understand, now? You have looked into the heart of the Tesseract. Why not help me?"
Jane just shook her head, a slight smile on her delicate lips. "You're kidding yourself. You're not doing this for us, for some big altruistic reason," she retorted coolly. "You're doing this because of Thor, because of the jealousy you feel towards him. And it won't work anyway. The human race, despite what you think, will not just bow down to you, not anymore. The time where you could have come here and done that is long passed, so stop this now, before more people are hurt."
Loki just chuckled, shaking his head. "My stubborn, little mortal. What am I to do with you?" he asked, ignoring her jab about Thor. She was far off the mark.
"I know what happened to you," she replied, her voice and eyes saddening slightly. "The Tesseract showed me everything."
He straightened at that, and eyed her coolly. "Then you will know that I was betrayed. How does it feel, to know your beloved Thor betrayed his own family?"
"Tell me what happened," she replied. He frowned down at her. "I want to hear it in your own words."
He capitulated. "He threw me from the Bifrost, and my…father," he spat the word. "Stood by and watched. I was nothing to them, a pawn, a trophy. They all betrayed me."
Jane inwardly frowned at that, but looking into Loki's eyes, she could see he was telling the truth. Or believed he was telling the truth.
Because Loki hadn't been thrown into that abyss. He let go.
"Come, enough dwelling on such maudlin thoughts," Loki suddenly proclaimed, holding out his arm. Jane took it warily, and he walked from the chamber, with her at his side.
She winced as pain shot through her healing ribs, but hid it well enough that Loki didn't notice. He escorted her into the wide, spacious chamber from before, bustling with activity, as guards and white-coated scientists went back and forth. Jane watched with interest, recognising much of the equipment as similar to SHIELD's, before they reached the tent with the Tesseract.
Reluctant, Jane hesitated but Loki smiled almost tenderly, and inexorably drew her on, just in time to hear James' excited "HEY!"
"This is amazing," the British scientist gabbled enthusiastically, as they stopped on the other side of the observation curtain, Agent Barton stood to the side, glaring down at something on a touchpad. "The Tesseract has shown me so much, it's incredible! More than just knowledge, it's more…truth."
"What have you done to him?" Jane breathed, thoroughly disturbed by the cheery smile on James' face, and the way he almost bounced around.
"An improvement, would you not say?" Loki murmured quietly.
"No way. I think I preferred him grumpy and sarcastic," she whispered in retort, surprised when he chuckled ruefully.
"It's wonderful," James repeated, that large, goofy smile on his lips as Jane almost recoiled. Major creepy, as Darcy would say. All of a sudden, she felt a wave of affection as she recalled the fiery brunette student, and wondered if she was alright, and if Erik was well.
"I know," Loki turned back to the scientist, with a knowing smile. "It…touches everyone differently."
He glanced at Jane, who just eyed him narrowly, pointedly removing her hand from his arm and folding her own together tightly. Whatever the Tesseract had shown her, it hadn't done anything to sway her, unfortunately.
A pity, but Loki had other tricks up his sleeve. Jane Foster would be his Queen, and she would belong to him. In that, as in all things, he was determined.
Why, he was not sure anymore, and that he refused to contemplate.
Pulling himself from his preoccupation, he turned to Barton, the mortal's eyes tired and bloodshot despite the gleaming blue of his irises.
"What did it show you, Agent Barton?" he asked coolly.
"My next target," the mortal replied brusquely. James sniggered.
"Listen to him. Philistine," he snorted, as Jane watched the two, askance. This was too weird. "No wonder we ended up in a dump like this."
"Well, the Radisson doesn't have three levels of lead-lined flooring between SHIELD and that Cube," Barton replied dryly, as Jane moved closer, eyes intent on the Tesseract.
She was barely aware of Loki moving away, as she stared at the Tesseract, and the cradle it was in, trying to work out what was different. Something was, she could feel it, but what? Surely they couldn't be creating another portal? It would just collapse like it did at SHIELD, unless they could address the problem with the quantum tunnelling effect. The possible solution Jane had thought of before it all went to hell floated back to the surface of her mind, but she decided it was probably wiser not to tell Loki about it. She wasn't about to help him, after all.
But why did he want another portal? She mused on the question, achingly aware of when Loki left her side entirely, but she refused to acknowledge it.
"I see why Fury chose you to guard it," Loki smiled, letting Jane go as she curiously watched the scientists working on the Tesseract. All to the good.
He needed to speak privately with Barton, and it would be best if Jane did not hear this.
"You're going to have to contend with him, Sir," Barton replied, falling in beside Loki as they walked a short distance away from the scientists and Jane. "As long as he's in the air, I can't pin him down. He'll be putting together a team."
Loki felt something like amusement rise, but he pushed it aside in favour of caution. Clearly Jane was not the only defiant specimen among her species. "Are they a threat?" he asked shortly.
"To each other, more than likely," the agent continued. "But if Fury can get them on track, and he might, they could throw some noise our way."
Midgardians and their quaint little sayings. Loki almost wanted to roll his eyes, but did not, as something Barton's tone rankled. "You admire Fury."
It was a statement, not a question.
"He's got a clear line of sight," Barton admitted, pausing as Loki walked on.
"Is that why you failed to kill him?" he asked caustically, recalling the one-eyed commander of SHIELD.
"It might be," the agent admitted again. "I was disorientated. And I'm not at my best with a gun."
Loki stopped and faced the enslaved agent, eying him coldly, as he paused before the entrance to the tunnels. "I want to know everything you can tell me about this team of his. I would test their mettle," he hissed, glancing up at the layers of stone and concrete between him and the world he would rule. "I weary of scuttling in shadow. I mean to rule this world, not burrow in it!"
"It's a risk," Barton replied coolly.
"Oh yes," Loki smirked, fully aware it was a vicious one, letting savage anticipation take hold of him for a moment. It cleared away the fog of confusion in his mind at any rate, even if only for a moment.
"If you're set on making yourself known," Barton mused. "Could be useful."
"Tell me what you need," Loki stepped towards the mortal with an eager grin. Barton turned towards a protective case containing his precious bow. With a metallic flick, it extended in his hand, and Loki's grin was matched by his own, slight smirk.
"I need a distraction, and an eyeball."
Loki's gaze went to Jane, petite and slender against the backdrop of bustling scientists, and he smiled as Barton told him where and when their target would be. A plan took shape, and he mused on every possible permutation, every outcome, before deciding on it.
"I won't be going alone," he told the agent, who accepted it with barely a flicker of surprise. "Miss Foster will accompanying me."
There, he could keep an eye on her, and she might come in useful, despite the danger of his plans. And he had a point to prove to her, his stubborn, wilful Jane.
A/N:I put the deleted scene back in, because I felt it was useful in this story. I get why they deleted it before, because it revealed Loki's plans a bit too precipitiously in the film's storyline, but since you've all seen the film and know what happens, that excuse is rather redundant now. And plus, he looked so darn sexy in that scene, it was just another excuse to re-watch it.