Lost Before The Dawn

Warnings: Some violence.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter Playlist: 'Performance Issues' and 'Seeing, Not Believing' from 'Avengers Assemble'

"Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person."

- Tennessee Williams

As soon as Stark, Rogers and Jane had left the detention level, the two scientists had gone to start working on Stark's suit while Rogers went to handle Barton and Romanoff.

As Jane perched herself on the workbench in one of the storage bays, the components of the Iron Man spread across the surface, she idly wondered what she was even doing there.

"I don't know anything about this-I mean, I'm not a mechanic," she began, spreading her hands. "Why did you want me?"

"I wanted to talk to you, away from the others," Stark replied, searching through a box of tools. "You're smart, Doctor Foster, smarter than most of the other idiots out there, so I want to know why are you doing this? Why are you trying to save him?"

Jane's eyes widened and she folded her arms. "I-"

"Because that's what you're doing here. This is more than just moral indignation at Fury's lies," Stark continued, straightening up and eying her piercingly. "You worked for him, you must have had some idea of how things roll with SHIELD, even if you didn't know the full story. If you just wanted Loki gone, you could have just let us take him out, based on lies. So why are you doing this?"

Jane inhaled deeply, closing her eyes for a second. "When Loki first came through, he could have killed me or enslaved me, but he didn't. He told me it was because of Thor, because he wanted to torment him, but the way he…looked after me, protected, healed me time and again…and then we had an argument. We fought and he forced me to look into the heart of the Tesseract…" she glanced sideways at Stark as she spoke, but his face was impassively, his eyes intent on her every word. "I think he thought it would make me see things his way but it…she showed me something else. She showed me everything that's happened to him, the truth of it, and I've realised that someone's got to him. Between falling from Asgard and coming here, someone's hurt him, they've manipulated him-"

"So he's enslaved too? Like Barton was?" Stark frowned, as she shook her head.

"Not like that," she breathed. "No, all of this was his choice but it's a choice he made based on a lie. He has different recollections to what I was shown by the Tesseract, and to what Thor remembered. I think whoever's behind all this, I mean really behind all this, not Loki, is just using him and when he's done, that'll be it. They'll cast him away, and then God knows what'll happen."

"Thor mentioned something about some guys called the Chitauri. Apparently they're his backup," the inventor nodded to himself. "So…what happened to him, then? To turn him into Severus Snape meets Comic Con?"

"He lost everything," she shrugged, looking away uncomfortably. "His identity, his perception of who he was. Everything he thought he was and could be torn away in a split second."

"Yeah, Thor mentioned something about adoption," Stark nodded. "So Mom and Dad tell him he's adopted and he goes whacko?"

Jane shook her head. "They didn't tell him, he found out by accident. I guess a thousand years is a long time to believe a lie."

"That still doesn't justify what he's done and what he's planning to do, Jane," he replied gently, compassion in his eyes. Jane shrugged.

"I never said it did," she stated softly. "He's a seriously screwed up mess, but if someone doesn't help him now, when will it be too late? And what will we be left with?"

Stark nodded. "I only hope you know what you're getting yourself into, kiddo. I'm pretty sure this is a lifetime commitment you're about to make," he finished, before they slipped back into silence, apart from the occasional request from Stark to Jane for a particular tool.

A few hours later, the Iron Man was back up and running, and Rogers entered the storage bay accompanied by Barton and Romanoff.

Romanoff just inclined her head to Jane, and she did the same, a newborn respect shining in the assassin's eyes which made her feel a little uncomfortable. She was no hero.

Barton was a little more verbose. "You ok there, Foster?" he asked quietly, while Rogers, Stark and Romanoff conversed quickly, in hushed, hurried tones.

Jane nodded. "What about you? You…ok?" she murmured haltingly, wondering if she was asking a really dumb question. His eyes, freed of the eerie blue shade she had seen in them for weeks, crinkled slightly at the corners as he smiled, a little self-deprecatingly.

"I will be," he shrugged. "So I hear I'm not allowed to shoot Loki in the eyeball anymore?"

"Oh, you can shoot him just not anywhere vital, or fatal," she quipped, and he chuckled.

"How about the balls then?" he muttered, surprising a laugh out of Jane, prompting the others to glance at them. After a second, Barton looked down before meeting her eyes, as if gathering his thoughts. "I remember bits of what happened when I was under. I remembered the way he treated you, and the way he always thought about you. I understand a little why you're doing this."

"Thank you," Jane breathed, absurdly grateful for the archer's gentle, gruff support. "I thought you'd think I was nuts."

"Oh, I already thought that, Doctor," he smirked, before moving away.

Rogers glanced over at her then, and she got the distinct impression she was being argued over. Clearly Stark had told them of her intention to go with them.

Jane folded her arms, knowing very well that she looked defiant. It had become her default stance during those weeks of captivity with Loki. Rogers sighed, while the other three smirked behind his back.

"I don't like this," he said quietly. "Loki is insane and enough people have died because of him. How do you know he won't do the same to you if you push too hard?"

"I don't," she replied, just as quietly. "But this is our best chance and with all due respect, Captain, it's not your decision to make. It's mine, so please just accept that."

Rogers' jaw tensed, and his eyes flashed with indecision, before he nodded just once, and Jane breathed a secret sigh of relief. For all her bravado, if Captain America had tried to stop her going, she wasn't sure how she'd have got around him.

After that, they quickly set out their strategy. Stark would fly ahead and confront Loki, try to stall him as along as possible, while the others followed behind in the Quinjet. Barton would drop Jane as close to Stark Tower as he could manage, so she could handle Loki while the others held off any possible enemy that came through if Stark was unsuccessful.

As Jane walked beside Barton, Romanoff and Rogers, through the bustling hangar bay towards an empty, operational Quinjet, she felt the first stirrings of fear and uncertainty begin to pool in her stomach. Just like before, when she was about to confront Loki in his cell on the helicarrier, she pushed the fear aside. She wouldn't let it rule her.

As they walked up the ramp of the Quinjet, a lone technical engineer inside, Jane felt a cold shudder of fear down her spine, regardless.

"Hey, you guys aren't authorised to be in here," the techie objected, as the four paused.

"Son, just don't," Rogers said firmly, gesturing for the techie to leave. Romanoff pointed Jane over to a seat, while the others strapped themselves in.

"Buckle up ladies and gentlemen. This is going to be a bumpy ride," she overhead Barton mutter from the cockpit. She couldn't agree more.

Iron Man surged ahead, and she struggled to restrain the dread pooling inside of her. She felt physically sick, and then wondered if there was even anything in her stomach to bring up. She doubted it, somehow.

And yet, she had never felt more alive, more aware of her own skin and the exhilaration accompanying the dread, and she momentarily questioned her own sanity. But heck, after everything she'd been through in the last year, she felt she was allowed to be a little insane.

They'd agreed on radio silence until they reached New York, but now Jane was wishing she'd asked Stark to keep them posted. She wanted to know what was going on, and she wanted to hear what Loki said, to gauge his mood and try how she might, she couldn't deny that a little part of her had missed the sound of his cocky, seductive voice in the hours they'd been separated.

Damn. Yep. Definitely turning into a romcom heroine now. Or an Austen heroine, which would make Loki her Mr Darcy…she almost laughed out loud at that one, and the thought of Loki in Regency getup. She was definitely going mad, or just turning into Darcy. Probably both. Either that, or this was the weirdest re-write of Pride and Prejudice ever.

They heard and saw the explosions as the skyline of New York grew ever closer, and Jane gasped as she saw the portal, the ragged hole in the sky and the glimpse of alien stars beyond. He'd done it, Loki had actually done it…

An intellectual part of Jane felt smugly satisfied that she'd been right, the rest just felt guilty that her research and ideas were now being used to invade her planet. Stop that right there, Jane. Not helpful…

Pushing her thoughts aside, she held on grimly, as they flew ever closer to the fight.

Loki heard the screams of the humans below, the triumphant, bloodthirsty screeches of his Chitauri warriors, and felt relieved. After that…nightmare, he had felt unsettled and weak, but now, reminded of his purpose, he could push all of that aside and focus on his goal.

He could not afford weakness now.

Stark's baiting had not swayed him. He idly wondered why that pitiful band of misfits had thought that Stark's inflammatory remarks would have even slowed him down really, and while Stark's repulsors were certainly a nuisance, he was unharmed.

Stark's comments about Jane, however, played on his mind.

"And you, big fella, have managed to piss off every single one of them. Not to mention a severely irritated, fiery brunette scientist who wouldn't mind wringing your neck right now, so be careful big guy. She's scary when she's pissed…"

Why was he not surprised she had involved herself? So determined to save her planet, as she saw it. A memory of brown eyes transmuted to blank, shining blue washed over him and he shuddered. He could not afford to think of her now, not now when he was so close.

The fact that the dream was all too accurate refused to leave him however, as he walked out onto the landing platform extending from Stark's living quarters, feeling the thrill of magic sweeping over his body as his armour was summoned from the pocket of space-time he kept it in, fitting him like a second skin, the sceptre extending to it's fullest length in his hand. Feeling the wind on his forehead, he raised his arms, revelling in the power he felt.

But something was missing, and beneath the power he felt, there was just…nothing. The moment of his triumph was not supposed to feel like this.

The jewel in his sceptre glowed a bright blue, as he felt the familiar, tugging call of the Other. Closing his eyes, he let the channel of communication between them open, opening his eyes to see both the skyline of New York and the cold space of Titan.

"My time has come…" he breathed, pushing aside all hesitancy and uncertainty behind his usual façade of arrogance.

"Resistance?" the Other growled.

"From a few," Loki replied. "We'll pick them apart."

"And the rest as they come and throng?" the Other asked. "I sense something has changed, Asgardian. For all your cold words, you have not the heart to succeed in this task. You have lost your way."

"You are mistaken," Loki snapped. "Nothing has changed."

"Then prove it, Asgardian," the Other growled with a hiss of anticipation.

Loki was released from the communication, unease and self-disgust washing over him as the sickening presence of the Other faded in his mind. He opened his eyes, gritting his teeth as the Other's words rushed through his head, again and again. He was not weak!

He would prove it all to them now, to the Other, to Thanos, to his false brother, father and mother, the realm that rejected him and the other that denied him, to the pitiful peoples of Earth and their defenders, and to…Jane.

A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts, accompanied by a crash as alien feet landed heavily on the stone balcony below. "Loki!"

He turned to face Thor, unharmed, hale and whole, exactly as he'd known he would be. See, Jane? No harm done. Yet.

"Turn off the Tesseract or I'll destroy it," Thor continued, gesturing upwards with Mjolnir. Loki laughed to himself, at that stupid fool. Everything was always so simple with Thor.

"You can't," he replied triumphantly. "There is no stopping it. There's only the war!"

Not entirely true, but he wasn't about to tell Thor that. The simpleton would never figure it out for himself.

"So be it," his erstwhile sibling snarled, and Loki raised the sceptre with a battle cry, all thought wiped away by the rush of battle, as Mjolnir clashed with Titan blade.

New York looked more and more like something out of a war movie as they flew straight into the heart of the city. Jane's heart rose as they flew closer to Stark Tower, and she saw a flash of light she knew came from the sceptre, as the 'R' of the Stark Tower crashed to the street below.

"Stark, on your three, headed north-east," Romanoff barked into the PA.

"What? Did you stop for drive-through?" came the sarcastic reply. "Swing up Park. I'm going to lay them out for you."

Barton banked sharply, manoeuvring around the buildings with ease as Jane held on, her knuckles white. Rogers nodded at her reassuringly, but Jane still couldn't help wincing as they came an inch too close for comfort to an office block.

Sure enough, at the apex of Park, in front of Grand Central Station, Jane glimpsed a speck of red and gold fly past, followed by a squad of seven Chitauri warriors on what looked like flying Harley Davidsons.

The Quinjet vibrated with the force of the guns as they fired, taking out all of Stark's pursuers, taking out chunks of the edifice of Grand Central with it. Barton banked again and climbed, taking out a few more as they headed for Stark Tower.

Jane's heart leapt into her throat as she glimpsed Loki and Thor, fighting tooth and nail, as she tore her restraints undone and started forward.

"Get me down there, now!" she barked.

"You want to jump off the landing ramp, be my guest!" Barton snapped back, as Jane eyed the parachutes.

"Don't even think about it, Foster," Rogers snarled, as they were forced to cling to some storage webbing, as the Quinjet was rocked by a hit by one of the Chitauri fighters.

"Nat?" Barton barked questioningly, as the guns roared to life again.

"I see him!" Romanoff muttered, as Jane watched, eyes wide. "Let's see if we can distract him."

Jane saw Loki throw Thor to the ground with the shaft of the sceptre, before raising it and taking careful aim at them. Romanoff fired off a barrage, but Loki remained unruffled, as the sceptre fired a shot, hitting them directly in the wing.

The Quinjet listed sharply, beginning to spin out of control as Barton tried desperately to compensate long enough to safely land. Jane and Rogers were taken off their feet several times as Barton crash-landed on a plaza, five blocks away from Stark Tower, and every bone in Jane's body felt like it vibrated with the force of the crash.

"You ok?" Rogers asked gruffly, and she nodded. Barton and Romanoff were out of their seats in seconds, grabbing their kit and rushing off the Quinjet, Rogers at their head and Jane behind. Romanoff caught her elbow for a second, and stuffed a loaded gun into her hand.

"Just in case," she breathed. Jane nodded understandingly.

They sprinted the five blocks to Grand Central, and Jane panted, her ribs aching as Loki's magic wore off. She looked up at the ravaged building and the gaping portal above it, and felt determination take hold, the dread and the exhilaration merging into one, driving instinct.

Get to Loki.

The Avengers and Jane paused, staring in awe at the scene before them, until the instinct got too much and Jane rushed forward, ignoring the Avengers' shouts. She didn't see the Avengers stop again, stunned by the giant Leviathan emerging from the portal like some nightmare version of a worm, and she didn't stop to look up. She was single-mindedly focussed on reaching Stark Tower and getting to Thor and Loki before the worst happened.

Heaven help any Chitauri that got in her way.

She got her first glimpse of one as it landed in front of her, growling and screeching in its unintelligible language at her, tall, menacing and almost a mix of reptilian and insect, as it brandished its pikestaff at her. Jane ducked behind a totalled car, gritting her teeth as it took hit after hit.

She really didn't have time for this. She cocked the gun, waited a second for the hits to stop before lunging out from behind the car and taking swift aim.

Her aim was dead-centre and the Chitauri collapsed with a smoking hole in its brain. Lowering her gun, panting with adrenaline, pain and fatigue, Jane lowered the gun and ran on, skirting around civilians and police, ducking shots as more Chitauri landed on the street, and the ones in the air took potshots at the humans below.

To be continued...