Lost Before The Dawn
Warnings: Violence
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Chapter Playlist: 'Battlefield' from 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2', 'The Kiss' from 'Twilight Eclipse', 'Farewell to Gwen' from 'Merlin: Series 2' and 'Prepared To Do Anything' from 'Sherlock: Series 2'.
'Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known?
God give me courage to show you,
You are not alone.'
- Christine, Phantom of the Opera Act II
Dodging potshot after potshot from Chitauri fighters, Jane really wished her old track and field teacher could see this. She definitely wouldn't have failed her back in high school if she could see her now.
She was steadily making progress towards Stark Tower, and she almost didn't feel the pain in her ribs. She was running high on adrenaline and urgency, but she could feel herself tiring.
Once she made the plaza in front of Stark Tower, she crouched behind a burnt out truck and caught her breath, shoving her hair out of her face. What she wouldn't give for a hair band right now…
She looked down at the gun in her hand, the smooth black metal now marred by soot and blood, warm beneath her fingers. She had five rounds left in the magazine.
She doubted it would do much good against Loki, and she wasn't planning on using it. Flicking the safety catch on, she tucked it into the waistband of her combat trousers, paused, listening as the next squad of Chitauri fighters passed over her, and then bolted from her shelter, zigzagging to make it harder for them to target her. Energy blast after energy blast hit the ground near her feet, and she was forced to literally throw herself through the glass doors of Stark Tower, hoping they would be open; otherwise this would get really embarrassing.
Thankfully, they gave way before her, and she collapsed on the floor. Several Chitauri dropped from the sky after her, but the doors slammed shut and were those metal blast doors dropping down over the glass?
"Doctor Foster, please do not be alarmed. Mr Stark warned me you were coming."
Jane jumped out of her skin, before jumping to her feet before she remembered. Jarvis, the AI Stark created.
"Thanks," she muttered breathlessly. "Keep an eye on those guys. They're pretty nasty."
"Indeed, Doctor Foster. You are safe, for now, but might I suggest you get moving? Loki and Thor are currently locked in combat on the top floor of the building."
Jane scrambled over to the elevators, jamming the button but the doors remained closed. "Jarvis?" she asked, eying the elevators mutinously.
"Apologies, Doctor. I am currently in the process of restarting the arc reactor, but it may take some time. Might I suggest the stairs?"
"Ok, how many steps are there in Stark Tower?" Jane asked, with a faux tone of patience.
"Three thousand, five hundred and twenty six."
"Gee, great," Jane groaned, as her ribs twinged at the mere thought. "Ok," she breathed out. "I'll get climbing. ETA on the arc reactor?"
"Ten minutes, Doctor."
"Ok," Jane nodded, turning towards the fire door beside the elevators. "Tell me when they're online."
Meanwhile, I have a bloody marathon to do!
By the fifth staircase, Jane was ready to kill.
Her side burned with every breath, and her legs weren't much better. Sweat poured down her face and back, and her hair stuck irritatingly to the nape of her neck. She swiped it away from her face angrily, as she started up the sixth staircase.
An explosion rocked the building, and Jane gasped. She had a bad feeling she knew what, or rather who, had just caused that explosion. Finding a new store of strength, she pushed on, using her anger to keep going, to keep breathing and forcing oxygen around her body to her screaming muscles, as she mentally planned exactly what she was going to say to Loki, and the migraine she was going to give him when this was over.
And then a very long vacation.
Although something in the back of her head whispered it probably wouldn't be as simple as that. Even if she succeeded and managed to stop Loki without either of them dying, she doubted SHIELD or his father was going to just forgive and forget everything Loki had done, extenuating factors or not.
For a moment doubt assailed her, and she faltered on her way up the seventh staircase, before her jaw hardened and she angrily shook her head, as if swatting away an annoying fly.
By the eleventh staircase, she was muttering dire threats against AIs under her breath.
"Now, now Doctor Foster, no need for insults or threats of violence."
Jarvis's voice suddenly echoed in the stairwell, and she paused outside the door leading to the twelfth floor, hopefully. "I have restored minimal power to the building, however the arc reactor is somewhat damaged. You must hurry before it loses power."
"Great. Climb twelve floors and get stuck in an elevator," she muttered mutinously under her breath, before shouldering her way through the door and past empty offices and labs to the elevators.
As the elevator moved, Jane waited uneasily, half-expecting the lights to shudder and die, then the whole damn thing to get stuck. Thankfully, it did not and Jane almost forced the doors apart as she made it to the final floor. And stopped dead when she realised there were more stairs involved.
"Apologies, Doctor but Mr Stark has sealed off his private elevator to his living quarters. I have disabled the security on the fire escape."
"Ok, let's do this then," Jane groaned, tearing through the door. "If he doesn't listen to me after the hell I've just gone through, I'll throw away the keys myself."
She tore through the final door and into Stark's ruined apartment, glass covering the floor and the wind roaring through the gaps. Outside, she could hear grunts and cries as Loki and Thor fought, and as she ran forward, she could see them too.
Without anymore time or breath for thought, she rushed through the glass doors, shouting as loudly as she could, "STOP IT!"
Both men stopped and stared at her, disengaging from their wrestling enough for Jane to insert herself between them, hands up and held palm out to them, as if she could keep them from fighting with her body alone. She glanced at Thor, for a second, then directed all her attention to Loki, who was gazing at her with wide-eyed shock.
"Jane…" he breathed, and she stepped towards him.
"Loki," she replied softly, barely audible against the roar of the wind and the battle below them. "Please stop this now. You know this isn't right, that this isn't what you want."
Loki's eyes glowed blue and he smirked cruelly. "And you believe you know what I want, little mortal? You, who has lived a handful of insignificant years, delude yourself that you understand me, a God who has lived millennia and seen things which would destroy your tiny mind?"
"Yes," she replied, confidently and firmly. That made him draw up short, as he stared at her, and she saw a glimmer of green in his eyes. "Loki, much as you have been made to believe it, you are not a monster."
"You know nothing of what you speak," he snarled, raising his sceptre warningly. "Now stand aside. I have no wish to harm you."
"There, that's it, right there!" Jane replied fiercely. "I'm an insignificant mortal except you can't harm me, you can't hurt me. You don't want to."
"I am a Frost Giant, Jane. You know nothing of what I am capable," Loki retorted, bestially, but Jane was unafraid.
"And who told you Frost Giants are monsters? Your father? Your mother? Whoever gave you the Chitauri and manipulated you into coming here?" Jane asked pleadingly. "Who are they to decide who and what you are? Only you can decide that, and you don't have to be this, Loki. Stop now, and be free of all these lies and manipulation. Help us."
The green shone brighter in Loki's eyes, and she saw the jewel in the crown of his sceptre glowing brighter, as if in retaliation to her words. Loki's jaw tensed, and he seemed to be fighting within himself. "You speak of lies and manipulations," he asked, frowning. "What do you mean?"
"You told me Thor threw you off the Bifrost, remember, the night you made me look into the heart of the Tesseract. She showed me everything," Jane murmured. "Loki, Thor did not throw you off. You let go."
"No," he shook his head, stepping back from her and fear lanced through Jane's heart. "No, you lie. He threw me, I remember! I was unworthy, a stolen relic, nothing more!"
"No," Thor breathed but Jane motioned him to be quiet.
"I have never lied to you," Jane snapped back. "And I'm not lying now! I looked into the heart of the Tesseract and saw everything that happened to you before you fell, and I promise you, I am telling you the truth. Whoever's hurt you, whoever's lied to you, they've distorted your memories. Everything you've done has been based on a lie."
"And the rejection of my so-called father? Did I dream that too?" Loki demanded, but Jane was reluctantly hopeful when he didn't deny her claim any further.
"No, you didn't. He was wrong," she continued firmly, and he stilled, stunned anew. She reached out and placed a hand over his on the shaft of the sceptre. Gathering her courage, she looked up into his eyes, refusing to look away beneath the sheer intensity in his, the colour flashing between forest green and ice blue quicker than thought.
Thor was as silent as the grave behind her, and she momentarily wondered if he was alright, before all her attention was focussed on Loki again. He had to be her priority.
"All your life has been based on a lie, Loki," she murmured softly, compassionately as she gazed up at him, openly, without fear. "But you don't have to play to their tune, you don't have to be what they want you to be. You can choose to be more, and take what is freely given, instead of taking by force and fighting all your life to keep it. You can choose to have what you really want."
"And what is freely given? What is it that I want?" he asked, hoarsely, his voice rough, his eyes dark as they settled into a green-blue shade, the blue growing dimmer. Jane's heart stuttered, as she released his hand and cupped the side of his face with her hand, the cold of his cheek guard against her palm.
"To belong," she whispered. "To belong somewhere, to someone, without any deceptions or lies or glamours. You can have that, Loki."
"Jane, I belong nowhere. Jane…" he breathed, and her heart stopped as the words stilled at the tip of her tongue. All pain, fear and doubt were gone; here, now, in this moment, Jane knew with every fibre of her being that this was right.
"You can belong with me, to me," she breathed. "And I'll belong to you, with you, but only if you stop this now."
The blue in his eyes faded away entirely, and the jewel in the sceptre crackled, as if angry, but Jane and Loki ignored it, lost in each other's eyes. Without another thought, she reached up and kissed him.
She felt him tense up in surprise, but she kept kissing him, the coolness of his lips beneath her own, the hardness of them against her own, as she pressed herself, with utter trust, against him.
Slowly the ice beneath her lips thawed, and he moaned slightly, moving into her with a suddenness that took her breath away. The sceptre clattered to the floor beside them, as both arms came around Jane's waist, hauling her against him with an urgency that made her melt, as she looped her arms around his neck.
She longed to bury her hands in his hair, but the helmet prevented that, as one of his slid into her own hair. He tilted his head over hers, deepening the kiss until Jane could barely think, or breathe, or even remember her own name.
Everything fell away, sound, light, worry, fear, sorrow; everything until it narrowed down to Loki and Jane, their world comprised of only each other. She even forgot the pain of her cracked ribs as she pressed impossibly closer, Loki's strong arms holding her as if he longed for nothing more than to absorb her into his very soul.
Gradually the kiss came to an end, their lips lingering on each other's, reluctant to part. Their entire relationship, their weeks of captivity, of threats and insults, of sparring and defiance, of dancing around one another, denying the truth even as they confirmed it more with each passing second; all of it led to this moment, and Jane had never felt more alive, never more right. She was where she belonged. He was where he belonged.
His hands came up to mirror the one of hers pressed to his cheek, as he leant his forehead on hers, the cold crest of his helmet against her skin, before she was gathered and held to him, her head beneath his chin. She closed her eyes and simply held him tightly, feeling tears well up but she refused to let them free.
Finally his arms loosened enough for her to look back up at him, and her heart thrilled to see his eyes were a solid, beautiful green, untainted by the mad, icy blue she had seen for weeks.
"You strange, unearthly thing," he breathed. "What have you done to me?"
"Right back at you," she quipped quietly, and he chuckled. She sobered, as another explosion came and she glanced around, past Thor and to a group of Chitauri currently playing goose with Stark. "We have to stop this."
"I…know," Loki breathed, as if with difficulty, as Jane looked back to him worriedly. He closed his eyes and his grip tightened on her again, as she held him supportively. "Forgive me, the conditioning is trying to reassert itself again. Thanos is not easily denied."
"Fight it, please," Jane whispered. "You're so much more than anything anyone has ever said of you. You can do this."
He opened his eyes determinedly, and she was relieved to see they were still solidly green.
"Thanos?" Thor finally spoke up, and she was not surprised to hear horror in his voice. "That was who you have been with, Brother, all that time?"
Loki stiffened slightly at the word 'Brother' but Jane squeezed his arm, and he relaxed. "Yes. It may be too late to stop this. I do not know…"
"No, we can. Together," Thor murmured, as Loki looked down at Jane, trusting and warm in his arms. His jaw firmed and he nodded shortly to Thor, before swiftly bending his head to Jane's and kissing her again, forcefully, a kiss she met with passion that melted the ice in his veins.
"I must get to the Tesseract," he breathed in the instance their lips parted. "Stay safe."
Jane struggled to remember how to breathe as he summoned the sceptre to his hand, the jewel glowing only dully now, before he walked away without a glance, and she felt a hand on her shoulder.
She turned to meet Thor's sad, blue eyes and felt suddenly guilty. She had basically ended it with him only hours before and to be kissing his brother in front of him…
"Thor," she murmured uneasily, but he just shook his head. There was no accusation, no betrayal in his soft gaze, just acceptance and resignation.
"Get inside, Jane. Stay there, no matter what you may hear," he told her gently, and she nodded, before running back inside. Her heart pounded and as she sat down on a patch of sofa not covered in broken glass, she uneasily wondered how the two Aesir were going to stop this.
Loki could feel the confusion and the tearing, wrenching agony of Jane's brutal, unrelenting revelations warring in his mind, with every memory he possessed, every word Thanos had ever said to him, as he sprinted to the roof of Stark Tower, where the portal and the Tesseract stood.
Stanley was passed out on the ground, no doubt from the rebound when Stark tried to destroy the portal with his repulsors and hit the energy barrier. Loki paid him little mind as he rushed to the barrier, Thor at his side. A war raged inside his head.
You weak fool! Undone by the kiss of a mortal!
I am not weak! She was right, and I have played the fool all along…
Take what is rightfully yours! Take the earth and your little mortal! Prove yourself a king!
I will be no one's pawn any more! Not the All-Father's, and not Thanos's!
You are a monster, an aberration of nature, the son of a race of monsters. Why fight your destiny?
I am my own person and I decide who and what I shall be.
With that thought, his resolve firmed, and he stepped forward, glancing up at the torn sky, and then down at the portal.
"What are you going to do?" Thor asked, frowning. Loki ignored him, pacing around the portal while the city was torn apart around him.
"There is no other way," he breathed to himself. He raised the staff, and inserted it into the energy barrier, making it give way before him. Thor watched, silently, uneasy as his hand clenched around Mjolnir. Loki refused to look at him, until the blade of the sceptre touched the Tesseract, and he met his brother's blue, blue eyes and smiled.
It was a small thing, tiny and full of sadness, bitterness and the twisted love he still held for Thor, as he said, "Look after her. Protect her for me."
"Loki…" Thor began, just as Loki summoned a powerful burst of magic from the sceptre, channelling it into the cradle of the Tesseract. The energy barrier exploded, sending Thor flying backwards through the air, as it rose, higher and higher, obscuring Loki entirely, until it suddenly flung upwards, into the portal, with a great rush of wind and fire, and suddenly every single Chitauri and Leviathan all over the city collapsed, taking entire buildings with them in their ruin.
Silence fell, rent only by the sound of sirens and the screams of civilians in the streets. In the air, Thor had regained control of his flight and hovered above the destroyed roof of Stark Tower, horror and grief in his eyes as he searched the wreckage for any sign of Loki, before hopelessly meeting the eyes of the woman standing on the balcony below, horror and heartbreak in her tear-filled eyes.
A/N: Finally get to write the scene I've been itching to do since I started this thing. Jane and her superpower: the magic kiss, ;D. Anyway, this will be the last update until after the 10th May, since I have exams on the 8th and the 10th, and I really need to concentrate on revision now :).