Lost Before The Dawn
Warnings: Some suggestive themes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Chapter Playlist: 'Briseis and Achilles' from 'Troy'.
'Absence from those we love is self from self - a deadly banishment.'
- William Shakespeare
Jane awoke slowly, stretching pleasantly sore muscles, relishing the feel of soft linen against her skin. A delicious kind of warmth permeated every single inch of her limbs, and as she stretched, her hand gently came into contact with the source of that warmth, stretched out beside her, his arm heavy on her waist.
Jane smiled, opening her eyes and willingly leaving her warm, dark haven to see another one, much closer to her, all dark hair, harsh angles and scarred, muscled pale skin. A jagged line crisscrossed his shoulder blade and ribcage, and she lightly traced them with her fingertips. He stirred slightly beneath her touch, moaning softly in his sleep, and she paused, unwilling to wake him.
She had lost count of the hours they'd been together before they had collapsed, exhausted and drained, physically and emotionally. Her mind, usually cluttered with mathematical equations and an endless checklist of things to do the next day, had been empty since that day at Stark Tower, but now rather than the cold, echoing emptiness of grief, her mind was blissfully unable to think of anything, empty and at peace with itself, with Loki's arms around her as she slept.
But now she was awake and she felt full of energy again, as she hadn't felt for days. She needed to move, to walk around, to do something. She'd never been the lazy sort of person, the type to lounge around in bed all day.
Outside it was still dark, but for a lightening of the horizon. It would be sunrise soon. A new day, a new start.
Carefully, she slid out from beneath Loki's arm, careful not to wake him, and slipped from the warmth of the bed. She reached for the soft, worn old sweater she'd been wearing last night, before Loki had removed it scornfully, as if its very existence offended him, and slipped it back on, pulling her ruffled hair free. The garment only stretched to about mid-thigh, but it would do. Skirting around the floorboards she knew had a tendency to squeak, she tiptoed to the open balcony door, and leant on the doorframe, watching the gradually lightening sky and the waves gently coming in to shore meditatively.
She wasn't sure what was going to happen now. Last night, she had been so caught up in the sheer joy of Loki being alive and there in her arms, that she didn't have the room in her mind and heart for anything else. She had been full to bursting, emotionally, but now cold rationale was starting to creep back in.
They needed to talk about what was going to happen now.
He couldn't stay on Earth, that much she did know. SHIELD, despite his selflessness in destroying the portal, would still want to put him on trial for the agents he'd killed while working against them. Selflessness did not wipe all those crimes away, did not bring people back from the dead.
But neither did revenge. Although, a part of Jane snorted at the thought of Loki being entirely selfless. A little bit selfless, sure, but she suspected Loki used that explosion not just to destroy the portal but to throw SHIELD off his scent in the process. He had no intention of allowing SHIELD to take him into custody.
She could understand that, scarily enough. But the question was what would they do now?
She jolted slightly as those words rang in her head. We, she'd thought, not he. Well, of course, Jane. You knew going into this that this was a lifetime thing. So suck it up and face facts, because he needs you. It's either that or a return to Mr Psycho…
Jane was fairly certain her inner mental voice was not supposed to sound like Tony Stark, as she sighed. She knew when she stepped into Loki's arms atop Stark Tower, and kissed him, that this was not something she could just back out of again. She was in this for the long haul, whatever this was. And that was her problem.
What exactly was this?
She didn't know, and that scared her more than anything. The uncertainty and the fear of things going wrong, and boy if they went wrong, she really was in Troublesville. She closed her eyes, gently thumping her head against the doorframe. She really hated her own head sometimes.
"Jane?" his soft voice breathed in her ear, slightly husky and amused. Oh yeah, definitely amused. "Why, pray tell, are you banging your head against that doorframe?"
"Because I hate my own head sometimes," she muttered, stopping what she was doing but not opening her eyes or turning to face him. "It's annoying me."
"Well, we cannot have that," he chuckled, and she heard the slight creak of the mattress and the rustle of sheets as he left her bed, and padded barefoot across the room to her. Hands gently cradled her head, shielding it from the hard wood, as she was turned and backed against the doorframe, his hands dropping to her waist and holding her tightly. He was still naked, and it was entirely distracting. "I quite like this head as it is, my Jane."
Ok, that blatantly possessive statement did not just make her go all warm and fuzzy inside. She sighed, and opened her eyes to meet his, warm and yet sharp, watching her intently. "What is it that troubles you, Jane?" he asked with a sigh, holding her tighter to him.
"What's going to happen now? I mean, with us?" she asked, as his lips quirked into a wicked smirk, and she rolled her eyes, already instinctively knowing what was coming next.
"Well, after I've taken you back to bed and driven you into realms of pleasure the likes of which you've never known-" he began silkily, as she rolled her eyes and hit his shoulder pointedly.
"One track mind much?" she asked sarcastically, as he pulled her tighter to him and she gasped as their lower bodies pressed together tightly. "You're incorrigible."
He bent his head and kissed the words from her lips, as her arms tightened around his neck and she moaned, the fire under her skin reigniting. Both were panting when he drew back, smiling teasingly, his hands roaming her body freely.
"We cannot stay here," he stated firmly, as she nodded to herself. He looked unsure for a moment, his smile fading entirely, as she watched him cautiously. "I was not certain if you wished…if you-"
Jane took a deep breath, looking away for a moment to the sunrise, just setting the sky ablaze with pink and fiery orange hues, before meeting his eyes again, fiercely. "Where you go, I go," she told him quietly, her words echoing between them like the vow it was. "There's nothing left here for me, not really. I will always be an oddity, something untrustworthy and curious to those like SHIELD, and to everyone else I'll always be the crackpot scientist with mad theories. SHIELD won't let my research become common knowledge until it suits them, and I don't feel like waiting around for them."
"There are wonders beyond count, beyond this world, just waiting for you Jane," he replied softly. "I will show them all to you."
"Glad to hear it," she quipped. "Wouldn't want to get bored. But what first?"
His lips quirked again, almost bitterly self-deprecating. "My magic is depleted and my strength is still returning. I cannot travel between Realms as I once did, much less with a passenger. And there are my deeds to consider. It is time to take responsibility for them."
"I'm glad to hear it," she repeated, albeit more seriously this time, as she stroked his hair back from his face, before running her hand down his neck to his chest. "It takes a lot of guts owning up to the fact you did wrong, Loki. You're a better man than anyone admits, except maybe me. And Thor."
"Ahh yes, my ever-hopeful, naïve would-be brother. He always was excessively dim," he replied dryly, prompting another smack from Jane. "You are getting far too abusive with your hands, my lady. They have far more pleasurable uses, I can assure you."
"I bet you can," Jane rolled her eyes before laughing, a free, unrestrained laugh that had her arching her head back and grinning like the mad person she was fairly certain she was. "God, this is crazy. I'm crazy."
"Not crazy, merely extraordinary," Loki retorted intently, as she gently brushed his lips with hers. "I must return to Asgard. They must be warned of the threat Thanos poses to the Universe, and I have no doubt I will be punished for my crimes against the Realm and against Midgard."
"Then I'm coming with you," Jane said determinedly. "There's no way you're doing this alone, and I have one or two things to say to Odin myself."
Loki stared at her, then laughed. "I am certain he will be quaking in fear of our arrival, dearest Jane."
They sobered after a moment, as Jane glanced out at the sunrise once more. "When do we leave?" she asked quietly.
"Today. SHIELD will soon be on our trail. If, as I suspect, the Tesseract has been used to repair the Bifrost, we will have to return to the closest imprint from its last use here," he explained, as she nodded.
"Puente Antiguo," she breathed. "Should take us about a day or two. I want to go to Colorado first, there's someone I need to say goodbye to."
"It will be dangerous to delay, Jane," Loki retorted, his voice low and warning. "We cannot afford distractions-"
"This is non-negotiable, Loki. Erik is like a father to me, I owe him this much," she cut him off forcefully, as he eyed her narrowly. When she showed no signs of weakening, he capitulated with a sigh.
"Very well, we shall visit this Erik first. But we must leave soon," he sighed, before hauling her closer to him, with an ever-growing wicked smirk. "But first things first, my indomitable lady…"
Jane smiled teasingly, reaching up to kiss him heatedly. In this at least, there was no uncertainty. She clung to its newness, its exotic thrill, as he dragged her sweater up and over her head, before placing his hands back on her skin. "We should probably move away from the balcony," she pointed out breathlessly, as his lips marked her neck possessively. She knew she'd have a mark later.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed him away. His face darkened, but she just shook her head at him, took his hand and led him towards her bathroom. If she was going to be driving across three States, she wanted a good shower.
And if she knew Loki, it'd probably be a very long shower too…
True to Jane's prediction, she didn't get out of the shower before a good hour had passed. Leaving him to finish up, she dressed quickly in jeans, her most comfortable sneakers, a t-shirt and a plaid shirt over the top, coiling her damp hair into a bun at the base of her neck.
She went downstairs to start the coffee, snooping through the refrigerator before grabbing some stuff randomly and finding a bag to stow it in. She didn't want to have to stop unless absolutely necessary for gas. She had a small car Stark had loaned her, since she turned down the flashy convertible, the name of which she didn't even know, much to Stark's utter exasperation and horror.
After the coffee had brewed, she poured some of it into a thermos she'd found, tucked away in a cupboard, before pouring two cups. She hesitated over his, not sure if he liked it the same as hers, then shrugged. Let him decide.
He still wasn't out of the shower. Frowning, slightly worried, she went back upstairs to find the small bag she'd brought with her to the cottage, but found herself once more hesitating as she looked down at her clothing. How much should she take?
Forcing away her uncertainty, Jane shoved as much as in as she could, taking a few changes of clothes and underwear, determined not to let herself think about anything. She was so engrossed, she didn't notice the shower shutting off, or the door opening a few moments later.
"You need not worry about clothing," his voice carried to her across the bedroom, as she jumped and spun to face him. And her jaw dropped open slightly.
He was dressed as casually as she, in jeans and a plaid shirt, but what surprised her most of all was the change to his hair. Freed of whatever he'd used to keep it slicked back, it was soft and wavy against his face, making her fingers itch to bury themselves in it.
"I don't want to be entirely dependent on you," she replied softly, as he walked across the room to her side, taking the bag from her and dropping it to the floor, before pulling her into his arms. So possessive, so claiming, and it only made her heart soften to him even more. Damn it, Jane.
"You won't be. You will be an honoured guest, Thor and the Queen will, no doubt, make certain of that," he told her firmly. "No one will dare offer you insult."
"Because you'll turn them into a toad if they do?" she asked, teasingly, touched by what he'd said. He smiled gently, before leaning in and kissing her heatedly.
"Perhaps," he murmured. Jane shuddered and leaned up to kiss him again. This was getting to be addictive.
"You are a bad influence," she told him decisively, as she pushed away from his arms and picked up her bag, despite the rolling of his eyes. "Come on, we need to get going."
Loki enjoyed the coffee as much as she did, although thankfully he didn't smash the mug on the kitchen floor and demand another, but she noticed he didn't eat as she wolfed down a banana and some toast.
He noticed her scrutiny, and smiled. "I need not eat often, if necessary, Jane. It doesn't affect me in the same way it would a human," he explained, and she nodded.
"Just curious," she muttered, placing her plate in the sink, and reaching for the mugs. "Although they always say curiosity killed the cat."
"Not this cat," he whispered in her ear, trapping her against the sink, her back to his chest. "She is mine and I will never allow any harm to come to her."
His declaration both thrilled and frightened her, as she shuddered against him. She closed her eyes, summoning her strength as she unclenched her fists from the cold metal of the sink. "You do that on purpose, don't you?" she asked, as he chuckled and encircled her waist with his arms once more.
"Whatever do you mean, dearest Jane?" he asked, clearly distracted from his possessive words.
"The whole dark-brooding-and-sexy act, and you know it, which makes it ten times worse," she replied archly, turning around in his hold. He smirked and raised his eyebrows haughtily, as Jane just laughed. "So not scary, Loki."
"Odd though it may seem, I have no desire to frighten you ever again, Jane. Others, however…" he trailed off, as she rolled her eyes.
"Incorrigible," she muttered, reaching up for another kiss, as he willingly obliged.
"Stubborn," he countered lightly, straightening once more although his hold on her waist didn't ease. His face sobered, and he looked to her seriously. "I know that this…new facet of our relationship is disquieting, Jane. But we will…figure it out, as you mortals say, together."
Jane was speechless for a moment, before she smiled and stroked his cheek tenderly. "Together," she promised, before he released her, and she led the way out to the car, locking the door behind them and hiding the key under the mat. She'd considered leaving a note, but she didn't want to inadvertently give SHIELD anything to track them with. Stark would know how grateful she was, for everything, just as certainly he'd know where she'd gone and who with.
It was time to go.
To be continued...