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One day you'll wake up and see
The person you've turned out to be
And wonder what happened to
The sweet, innocent child in you
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Hourglass
Chapter 7: Oneiromancy
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It was a little after noon and the sun was shining high in the sky. He was on his forty-sixth lap around the village and even though his mind wasn't paying attention, his feet were automatically taking him around the well-traveled route.
Tenten had been gone for a week now. Everything was going smoothly— far too smoothly, in fact. He was torn between the feeling of relief and bitter resentment. On one hand, he was glad that all was going according to plan. He entertained thoughts of everything smoothly coming together, of Tenten being none the wiser, of her oblivious return to Konoha, of everything returning to normal three weeks from now…
But all the same, he couldn't help feeling outraged on her behalf. It inexplicably angered him whenever he saw their friends laughing and enjoying themselves on the streets, having time to be with one another and bearing no guilt while Tenten labored in Suna, wholly ignorant of the entire situation at hand… wholly ignorant of her problem.
"Lee! Why have you stopped?"
He snapped out of his musings and looked around. Gai-sensei, previously at his side, was now several paces ahead of him, jogging backwards. Lee realized that his speed had slowed immensely, though he was still moving at a considerably fast rate.
"I'm sorry, Gai-sensei!" he bellowed, speeding to catch up, "I will run an extra fifty laps as punishment!"
Gai frowned at him but said nothing as they resumed their warm-up. Lee could feel his sensei watching him closely and was pretty sure that his face was giving everything away. Gai-sensei knew him better than anyone, after all.
"It would be unwise, Lee," said Gai after a few moments.
Lee hung his head, knowing that his sensei was not referring to his extra fifty laps. Of course it was unwise. Deliberately going against the orders of the Godaime Hokage could very well be interpreted as treachery, good intentions aside.
"Yes, Gai-sensei," he said, forcing himself not to think on the subject any more.
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Embarrassing wasn't the word. Humiliating couldn't even begin to describe it. The fact that there was no word in existence to describe her pathetic struggle was descriptive enough.
Several feet away, Gaara watched her impassively. He'd been waiting for her to break free from his sand trap for a good twenty minutes now (Tenten had to commend him for his patience). He'd asked her a little while ago whether she was willing to admit defeat, but she'd adamantly refused.
Never! I'll never give up! Tenten thought determinedly. She glared daggers at her redheaded foe, noting bitterly that he stood amidst the entirety of her weapons supply.
"You are so dead when I get out of here!" Tenten fumed, red from both the humiliation and the scorching heat. The sand was hot and scratchy against her skin and a slow, uncomfortable trickle was making its way down the front of her blouse. She felt like she was being cooked alive.
Gaara merely raised an eyebrow at her and made to sit on the ground— presumably to see how much longer she could last.
The nonchalant gesture infuriated her even further. Though they had both been mindful of the inevitable outcome, neither of them could have predicted her stubborn fury. Sure, Tenten admitted to herself, she was no sore loser. But then, she'd never expected to be beaten so badly not even ten minutes in. In many ways, she'd done worse than Matsuri had with her during their first spar together.
At least now I know how she feels, Tenten thought sullenly. It was a life lesson, a sort of noble feat, perhaps, to be humbled in such a derogative way. She had never been one to set herself on a high pedestal, but she'd also never let an opportunity to milk her strength pass against a much weaker opponent. But then, I've never underestimated nor overestimated myself, Tenten reasoned, only vaguely aware of the amount of sand that was now pouring in inappropriate sections of her clothes. I'm just honest about my own strength!
A small voice in her head mocked her then. Honest? You? If you're so honest, then what the hell are you doing?
Persevering in an otherwise impossible situation. Gai-sensei would be so proud.
The voice snorted. Who do you think you are? Lee? Just hurry up and admit defeat, o honest one.
Never! Tenten shot back furiously. It occurred to her then that she was having a mental conversation with herself. It was the Suna heat; Tenten was convinced that the sun's relentless rays somehow affected her differently in Suna. It explained everything perfectly— her incapability of keeping her eyes open during guard duty, her crabbiness, her agreeing to go on a date with Yaoki, her one-sided conversations, her degrading combative skills, and why she felt the need to reason out her sanity…
"Alright! FINE! Get me out of here!" Tenten yelled. She had barely finished her declaration of defeat when she felt her body rise from the ground. The sand was loosening its binding hold on her and falling into an innocent looking heap at her feet. Tenten glared at it, giving a good kick and scattering sand in the air.
She couldn't look at Gaara in the eye as she sent out her chakra strings to start packing away her weapons. There was an uncomfortable silence as Tenten tried determinedly to ignore her stronger adversary and she flinched horribly when silent footsteps started towards her. She turned her back to him, scowling when she heard his low voice.
"You were clearly at a disadvantage."
"I don't need your pity!" she snapped passionately, but froze suddenly upon remembering just whom she was talking to and added a stiff, "Kazekage-sama."
She couldn't say for sure since she was forcing herself not to look, but Tenten swore she could feel him rolling his eyes.
"I suck, okay?" Tenten spat irritably, more annoyed with herself than Gaara. "Let's all just acknowledge the truth and not say anything about it anymore."
After all, she had been the one to accept the challenge in the first place, even while fully knowing that her chances of winning were zero to none from the start. Gaara had done nothing wrong at all; she was the one with the problem. Tenten knew this. Still, her competitive spirit was adamantly keeping her pissed off regardless of her conscious realization of the facts. Was she really so weak?
"I don't think you suck, Tenten-sensei."
She whirled around furiously. "I said I don't need your pi—!"
Tenten's eyes fell on a short, red-faced girl and she froze abruptly as panic bubbled in the pit of her stomach. "Matsuri? H-how long have you been here?"
"Um, a little while ago," the girl mumbled softly, keeping her eyes downcast. "I saw… that move that you did…"
As Matsuri shuffled her feet, Tenten chanced a nervous glance at the Kazekage and was shocked to see him looking so relaxed. Had he known that Matsuri was watching them spar? If so, why didn't he let her know? He had been the one to tell her to keep her fuinjutsu a secret from the girl. She distinctly remembered him telling her how Matsuri was frightened of weapons, and yet he'd let the girl watch her speed-summon her entire arsenal like silver rain on the battlegrounds…
And why was it that she failed to notice her own student's presence? Just how absorbed had she been to not notice Matsuri's arrival?
Tenten opened her mouth to reply, but Gaara shook his head to quiet her as Matsuri began to speak once more.
"I'm sorry, Tenten-sensei… I should have been honest with you from the start. But the truth is… I'm really afraid of weapons!"
Tenten regarded the bowing girl before her with surprise. She never imagined Matsuri would be brave enough to confess to her directly. Nor did she imagine how formal her confession would be. She floundered for something to say, trying desperately to fight down the blush rising in her cheeks while simultaneously trying to avoid the penetrating blue-green eyes watching her. She'd never been regarded so highly before in her life. Tenten couldn't recall ever having someone bow so low to her… Well, no, that wasn't exactly true. Lee always bowed low to her, but he hardly counted. He was always too formal and polite to everyone including her, even though he was her best friend, for crying out loud.
"Thank you for telling me." She paused and inclined her head slightly. "And also, I'm sorry for not showing up yesterday."
Matsuri straightened up slowly. "It's alright, Tenten-sensei," she said earnestly. "I figured you must've had something important to do."
Now she really couldn't look at Gaara. It was on the tip of her tongue to confess to Matsuri that no, actually, I only forgot, but decided against it. Instead, she guiltily resolved to never miss a training session ever again.
"Tenten."
The low voice almost made her jump. She looked up at Gaara guiltily, trying to ignore the foreign chills she was getting from hearing him say her name. Was he going to point out her mistake and force her to apologize to Matsuri? Somehow, she was reminded of her Academy days.
"I sent Yaoki out on a mission," he said stoically, not knowing how much of an idiot he was making her feel.
Again! Tenten thought, furious with herself. Why am I always acting like a child expecting a reprimand when I'm with Gaara?
Matsuri looked taken aback by the random statement and stared at her sensei curiously. It suddenly dawned upon Tenten how strange it seemed that he was telling her this.
"So… I'm assuming he told you…?" Her voice sounded strained, even to her ears.
"Yes."
"Ah. Yes, well," she coughed, trying to hide her embarrassment, "I met Korobi after my shift. He also let me know."
Gaara opened his mouth— though, to say what, they would never know. Heavy footsteps were fast approaching in their direction, audible from the other side of the walls of the Academy. They turned to look expectantly at the archway and soon enough, a familiar figure emerged and passed beneath it.
"Gaara!"
Kankuro was making his way towards them with a weary look on his face. He stopped a short distance away and shuffled his feet awkwardly.
"Kankuro?" said Tenten, placing her hands on her hips. "What's up?"
"Hey," he said, holding up a hand in a manner of greeting. He nodded to Matsuri and she hastened to bow. "Don't let me interrupt."
Tenten waved the comment aside. "Where's Temari?"
"She's at a meeting right now with some of the other jounin," Kankuro answered curtly. He turned to face Gaara, looking very uncomfortable.
"Um, Gaara, can I talk to you for a second?" he said, shooting wary glances at the girls and adding an emphasized, "Alone?"
Gaara merely raised an eyebrow at his brother's actions and moved to follow, giving a short nod of farewell to their curious audience. Tenten and Matsuri watched as they passed beneath the archway and disappeared beyond the walls of the Academy.
Tenten waited for a few more seconds to ensure that they were out of earshot before voicing her thoughts. "What the heck was that all about?"
Matsuri giggled, her cheeks coloring into a faint shade of pink. "I think I know," she said, her voice adopting a dreamlike quality that had Tenten cringing. There was something about the girl that suddenly reminded her of Ino and Sakura's Sasuke-crazy days.
"Tell me," said Tenten brusquely.
Matsuri giggled again and Tenten fought the urge to shake her violently. "Well… every year a formal meeting is held between the upper class in Suna. The only other guests invited are usually members of the village council, high ranking jounin, and of course, the Kazekage, Gaara-sensei."
There was something she was just not getting. Tenten crossed her arms, confused. The only thing floating in her mind was, so what?
Matsuri saw her confusion and hastened to elaborate. "They call it a meeting, but it's really just a fancy party. Those who are invited are allowed to bring a date," she explained, blushing harder.
Ah… I see… Tenten smirked inwardly as she stared at the girl before her. She rapidly put two and two together and concluded that Matsuri was hoping against hope that Gaara would ask her to go with him. But wait, she thought suddenly, if this is an event held every year, then surely he has already been to one?
"This thing sounds like a real chore," she said slowly, watching Matsuri from the corner of her eye, "Don't get me wrong, but I just can't imagine the Kazekage going to one of these things…"
Matsuri fidgeted with a strand of her hair, suddenly frowning. "Well… he hasn't gone to one yet. This is the first time he'll go, I think, since he was away on a mission the last time and before that, too…"
Yeah, I bet, thought Tenten, biting her tongue to keep quiet. A mission to run away and hide…
"…And, well, I heard that the meeting is supposed to happen the day after tomorrow," Matsuri continued uncertainly, "So I'm pretty sure Gaara-sensei will still be in the village by then…"
They stood in silence for a short moment as the younger girl stared sullenly at the ground, looking discouraged by her doubts. Tenten shook her head slightly and turned away, sending out chakra strings from her fingertips.
"Hey, I know you just saw me get my ass kicked, but the day's not over yet. We can still train if you want."
Matsuri snapped to attention and brightened. "Y-yes, Tenten-sensei!"
Tenten gave her a small grin of approval and watched as her student assumed a battle-ready stance. She was still slightly curious about the entire affair with the upper class, but she knew better than to pry. Besides, Tenten thought, pulling her kodachi from the ground, this is Suna's business, not mine.
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"I'll just go on another mission."
"No, not this time."
"Then I'll just decline the invitation."
"You can't do that either."
"And why not?"
"You just can't," said Kankuro, feeling thoroughly exasperated. It was at times like this that he really felt like an older brother chastising his younger sibling. He had known beforehand that Gaara would be stubborn about this, but he'd promised Temari, and Temari was… well… scary.
He'd never admit it, though.
"Gaara, you can't keep making the same excuse," Kankuro tried to reason, "You've got to go sometime, otherwise they'll get offended and they'll start talking. You know how those people are. They can be a real pain, especially to you because—"
He broke off abruptly and tensed, realizing the direction his little speech was taking. He back-pedaled at once. "I just don't want them saying anymore bad things about you, okay?"
Gaara stared stonily at his brother, his arms folded tightly against his chest. He saw Kankuro's point, but he still didn't see why he absolutely had to go to the blasted affair. He already knew the importance of developing bonds with his people. Uzumaki Naruto had taught him that. But even so, he was just not a people person and he knew that it was likely he would remain that way for the rest of his life. The upper class was among those who still harbored feelings of animosity towards him and Gaara knew that presenting himself to their little gathering would reflect well on him, if anything. He'd failed— purposely— to show during their previous events in the past and he was running out of excuses to avoid them.
He closed his eyes. "Fine," he snapped irritably, causing Kankuro to sigh in relief. "If that's all…"
He turned to leave but Kankuro called him back. "Wait! I almost forgot to tell you— Temari said to bring a date."
Gaara whirled around in furious shock, "What?"
But Kankuro was already fleeing the scene, jumping among rooftops until he was no longer visible.
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"That's it? That's all he said about it? 'Fine'?"
Temari stood with her hands on her hips and her eyes pointed up towards the ceiling in aggravation.
They were standing in the empty conference room, the meeting having just concluded. The other jounin had been dismissed only moments before.
Kankuro shrugged. "Yeah. Pretty much."
"And about the date?"
"Um, nothing," Kankuro lied, skillfully avoiding her inquiring gaze. He didn't want her to know how he'd run for his life after telling Gaara he'd have to bring a date. He could feel Temari narrowing her eyes at him in suspicion, but thankfully said nothing.
He watched as she began to pace in front of him, no doubt concocting several plans in her head.
"I don't know why they made it mandatory this year," Temari scowled, "But there are no singles allowed. And… if Gaara's going, we'll have to go too."
Kankuro nodded. "Yeah, I know." There was no way they'd let Gaara go in alone.
Temari raised an eyebrow at his nonchalant agreement. "Oh? Who're you planning on going with, then?"
"Tenten," he replied casually. He ignored his sister's smirk and shrugged, trying to maintain his cool. "Only as friends, obviously. Besides, she'll be the least awkward one to ask."
More to wipe the smirk off Temari's face than anything, he snapped, "Well, who are you going with then?"
Though he'd achieved the desired effect, her mood turned rather surly. "None of your business," she snapped back, resuming her brisk pacing around the room. "Anyway, since it's obvious Gaara's not going to ask anyone, why don't we look around for someone who'll be willing to go with him?"
"You mean… we're going to set him up?" Kankuro said incredulously. "Look, we've already got him agreeing to go to this damn thing, so let's not piss him off."
"Haven't you been listening? A date is mandatory."
"Yeah, but Gaara's the Kazekage. Can't they make exceptions for him or something?"
Temari sighed and folded her arms. "You know what? You're right. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of this."
Kankuro resisted the urge to do a victory dance. "The important thing is that he's going, date be damned."
They fell silent for a short moment before Temari spoke again. "I just want him to make a good impression, that's all," she said in a halting voice. "I just really want them to finally acknowledge Gaara as their Kazekage."
The puppet master looked over at his sister sympathetically. Though he felt exactly the same way, there was little use in worrying about it.
"Relax," he said, heading for the door, "He'll be alright. Besides, shouldn't you be worrying about yourself right now?"
Temari frowned. "What do you mean?"
He grinned at her smugly from beneath the doorway. "Well, call it a hunch, but I don't think you have a date."
As he closed the door behind him he heard the thudding of kunai and shuriken sinking into the wood from the other side and laughed.
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She was standing in front of a striped tent, shivering as a cold gust of wind blew through the deserted fairgrounds. There was a warm, gentle hand resting upon her shoulder and she turned to look at its owner, already knowing the familiar presence.
"Neji?" she whispered, placing her hand gently atop his. "Where are we?"
He was looking at her solemnly, but said nothing in reply. His eyes shifted to the tent behind her and he sighed, looking very exhausted.
"What's wrong?" she asked, slightly panicked. She reached for him, but he drew back and shook his head. Neji closed his eyes and began to withdraw.
The fiery warmth inside her stomach seemed to dissipate with his touch. A cold feeling of dread began to wash over her and Tenten immediately darted out to catch his hand in her own—
A ferocious wind blew through the fairgrounds and the flaps of the tent flew open. An old, wiry hand shot out from within its black depths and caught Tenten by the wrist with a bruising grip. She gasped at the burning chill of it and tried to break free, but it was too strong. The hand began to drag her in slowly and she was helpless to stop it.
"Neji," she breathed in fear, "Help me!"
He did not move, but he opened his eyes at the sound of her voice and Tenten froze. He was looking at her with those hard, cold, pitiless eyes— it was the gaze from when they first met… and the one he'd worn when he had broken up with her…
She felt paralyzed. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him as she felt her shoulders brushing past the striped flaps, felt the darkness enveloping her like a thick cloak, her mouth open in a soundless scream—
"I'm sorry, Tenten."
It was the last thing she heard before the flaps of the tent closed, leaving her in total darkness—
And suddenly she was falling. As though someone had pulled the ground out from under her feet, Tenten felt her body freefalling through the darkness, her heart thudding fast. She could do nothing but brace herself for the inevitable impact—
The hand on her wrist gave a gentle tug upwards and Tenten was reminded of the mysterious stranger behind the twisted, old hand. She craned her neck around in the air trying to identify her captor, but it was no use. The darkness was too thick for her eyes to penetrate.
"Who are you?" she asked the stranger falling above her, "What do you want from me?"
At her words, the hand's grip loosened. Tenten felt an irrational fear and fought back the urge to hold on to it.
"I am nobody," a powerful voice answered. The low sound reverberated around them as they continued to fall and the hand holding her suddenly let go. "I only want you to open your eyes."
Tenten felt that she was suddenly alone in the darkness; the mysterious stranger had vanished completely. She reached for her face and found, to her great surprise, that her eyes were indeed closed. She forced them open with her fingers and the darkness faded away to reveal light. She stopped falling at once. There was a ground beneath her feet once more.
Tenten breathed a sigh of relief and looked around her. The sky was tinted a grayish orange and a majestic sunset was slowly descending down the horizon. She seemed to be standing on a cliff somewhere. Something wet began to fall on her and she spun around to look—
Blood. There was blood everywhere.
It was raining blood and there were fifteen pairs of horror-struck eyes, fifteen bloodied faces staring up at the sky. Tenten tried identifying them, but their faces were too blurry… she couldn't see…
A storm of red showered down upon them and Tenten turned her head to see what they were watching. She peered through the thick, red drops but it was no use. Everything was too blurry. She opened her mouth to say something, but gasped as a mind-numbing pain stole her breath away. She staggered blindly, her eyes drifting shut— the darkness was upon her again— she began to fall…
Tenten woke with a jolt, trembling violently. She sat up and clutched herself in a tight embrace. Hysterical sobs were coming from her inexplicably. She gasped for air as tears streamed down her face, unable to breathe.
What's happening to me?
The dream burned in her memory— it felt so real— and Tenten reminded herself that it was nothing but a nightmare as new waves of fear coursed through her. She'd never been so affected by a dream before. She could recall everything perfectly— the fairgrounds, the tent, Neji, the rain of blood…
She shivered and buried her face in her knees. It took her a few more minutes to calm herself and have her sobs subside into sorrowful moaning. When she felt composed enough, Tenten peeled the damp covers off of her sweaty skin and took a shaky step off the bed. She gauged the time by looking out the window and concluded that it was around one in the morning; Gaara was most likely still in his office.
Tenten took a fortifying breath. The last thing she wanted was for Gaara to hear her night terrors. She fervently hoped that she hadn't woken anyone up during her unfit slumber.
She crossed the room and flung the bathroom door open, flicking on the lamp switch. She stared at her horrified reflection across the washbasin and resisted the urge to shatter the mirror into a million shards.
She was an unholy mess; wide, red eyes and tangled hair. She opened the tap and washed her face with cold water. The effect was soothing, but surprising. She felt a little bit calmer and her running heartbeat was beginning to slow. There was no way she could go back to sleep now.
Tenten leaned against the sink and pondered her options. She could always take a walk— that always seemed to help. But there was a part of her that did not want to be alone right now. In the past, she always had Neji to run to whenever she felt like this. He never minded being woken up at night to comfort her. Even Lee; though she frequented his place less often…
But who to run to now? It was one in the morning and she was in Suna. There was no way in hell she'd wake up Temari, and Kankuro was just… well, she didn't know him that well.
As she stood there, frowning, it suddenly occurred to her that there was one more sand sibling— the one she always seemed to consider as her last option. It was so obvious that Tenten was surprised she didn't think of it sooner. She had already concluded that he was still in his office, so she needn't worry about waking him up.
And I have a good excuse to go too, she thought as she hastily put her hair up in her trademark hairstyle and changed into decent pajamas. The least she could do was try and look somewhat presentable.
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He'd been about to retire for the night when he heard light footsteps out in the hallway, followed by a quiet knock on his office door. He hesitated for a fraction of a second, identifying the familiar presence.
"Come in."
Tenten, dressed down in her pajamas, shuffled in, looking around uncertainly. He raised an eyebrow at her disheveled appearance, noting the red eyes, messily put-up hair and slightly stricken look on her face. He didn't have to ask to know; he had, after all, already witnessed one of her nightmares. But Tenten didn't know that. She didn't have to.
"Um… I just wanted to check," she mumbled, staring very pointedly at the hourglass on his desk.
He looked at it too and let a pinch of sand fall. Tenten huffed indignantly, glaring at him.
"Don't do me any favors," she said bitterly. He almost smiled.
It was quite obvious how normal she was trying to seem. Despite her act, there was something dark swirling within the depths of her chocolate eyes and a hint of alarm underlying her tone. He felt obliged to ask, though he was curious nonetheless.
"What happened?"
She glared at the hourglass and mumbled, "Nothing. Just a dream."
He waited but she didn't elaborate. He narrowed his eyes as the silence stretched on between them. He raised one hand slightly, causing the sand in the bottom glass to return to the top.
"Hey!" cried Tenten at once, finally tearing her eyes away from the silver artifact. "You can't do that!"
"Tell me," he said, ignoring her complaints.
"I'll tell you if you tell me!" she replied, pointing at the hourglass.
It was his turn to glare at her. "No."
"Fine," she snapped.
They glared at each other over his desk. Tenten couldn't believe she'd been so intimidated by Gaara during the first few days of her stay. Now she just found him really annoying.
I guess annoying is better than cold-blooded killer, she thought sarcastically.
"Why do you want to know so badly?"
He was frowning at her now. His head was tilted slightly to one side, as though studying a very curious specimen he'd never seen before.
Tenten let go of a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding. His question surprised her, but only slightly. It seemed there were lots of things she had yet to learn about the new-and-improved Gaara.
"I don't like being kept in the dark and I don't like being lied to… not that I'm saying anyone is lying or anything," she added quickly, "but then again, I haven't been told anything. So, for all I know…"
She trailed off as he shook his head and lowered his gaze to his desk, saying nothing. She continued determinedly.
"I mean, you didn't deny that there was something going on with the whole shortage—"
"It's much more than that."
Tenten stilled. "…What do you mean?"
He didn't look at her as he spoke. "I think you should go back to bed."
She wasn't imagining it; he was deliberately not looking at her. A tense pause filled the atmosphere between them and Tenten knew she was being dismissed.
"Then— then at least tell me this," she said, a desperate plea in her voice, "Is there a ninja shortage or not?"
Gaara closed his eyes and was silent for a very long time; but she stood her ground stubbornly.
"No," he said finally, still avoiding her gaze. "There isn't."
Tenten stared at him for a moment before saying, very softly, "Good night, Gaara-sama."
He lifted his head and watched her turn and head for the door, closing it quietly behind her. The sound of her footsteps haunted him long after it faded down the hallway.
.
.
.
Your dreams have changed and now you see
The world for what it's supposed to be
And it's too late now, it's impossible to
Have your innocence return to you.
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End Chapter 7.