"Mrs. Blair why didn't you bring Master Henry to fed ducks?"
"Well, you can say that I wanted a girl's day" Blair replied dryly.
"Not with Mrs. Serena?" Blair shivered with the use of Mrs. for Serena. She should be used to it by now, but somehow whenever she would hear Mrs. Humphrey some unpleasant feeling would settle in her stomach. It could only be the dislike that she nurtured towards that relationship, after all that rat had betrayed them all by spreading rumours and exposing their lives not only in the form of a book, but specially by being Gossip Girl.
"I was feeling nostalgic, alright?...that and Serena could not come."
"Something is bothering you Mrs. Blair, I know you too well…I can tell when something in your heart is upsetting you."
"Dorota, I am just trying to have a relaxed afternoon so please, spare me your questions and lame attempts to analysis."
"I just tried to help!"
She knew that Dorota would never have any pry intentions towards her. That woman basically raised her, and she had only her best interest at heart.
Are you happy?
That question echoed one more time in her head…after all it seemed that it had never left her subconscious. She forced it out of her mind, by breathing deep and turning her focus solely to the pound with the ducks right in front of her.
Dorota eyed her self-analytical expression, but decided not to pronounce a word. She wouldn't want to upset her further, and she was visibly upset.
"Chuck will not manage to return home for Henry's birthday." Blair finally spoke in a barely audible voice, not leaving the sight of the ducks in front of her, "I feel like we are drifting apart…I know that he tries his best to be present but in Chuck's list of priorities his work comes first, and his family second."
"Mrs. Blair and Mr. Chuck have to spend more time together and it will all be better again."
"Henry asked me today if I was happy?" there is was again, that bloody topic that she couldn't erase from her mind since that morning.
"And what you say?"
"I said yes of course!" she sounded surprised that Dorota was asking her that, and she couln't mask it from her voice. She felt like those words were meant more as reinsurance to Dorota than an actual solid statement.
"Are you really?"
Blair looked at Dorota shocked. How could she ask her that? Yes, she had just expressed how disappointed she was that Chuck wouldn't manage to return home for their son's birthday, but that in no means meant that she was unhappy, did it? Or has Blair not displayed signs of happiness?
She had taken longer than she should to reply. At this point telling her what she wanted to hear or what she wanted to make herself believe felt less and less an option.
"I don't know." It came out as a whisper.
"Mr. Dan?"
"What about him?"
"No Mrs. Blair..." Dorota pointed to a male figure that seemed to be approaching "...Mr. Dan!"
That's exactly what I needed right now! Blair thought sarcastically. The presence of Dan Humphrey hadn't been one that she found pleasurable since the day that she found out that he had had sex with her best friend while they were, technically, still together. It had hurt her so badly that he chose to cheat on her with Serena; she had always felt like Serena was the centre of attention of their world, and herself...the second choice. As for Dan's attentions, when he wrote Inside and he made her the centre character, she thought that he was different from everyone else; he had had the choice of Serena, but he chose her instead. That day when she found out what he had done at the Sheppard's Divorce party all the feelings that she thought she knew he had towards her felt like the most fake, the vilest lie that she had ever been subjected to. She hated him for that.
"Don't look on his way! Maybe she hasn't seen us and will simply pass us by!" Blair pronounced at a barely audible tone. Dorota immediately obliged by turning towards the pound.
"I think Mr. Dan has seen us!"
"Well, hopefully he will be bright enough to understand a cold shoulder when he is submitted to one."
Dorota had always liked Dan. In her opinion the time that Blair had spent with him was the happiest she had ever seen her, the most peaceful without a doubt. She had never known what had possess Blair to leave him for Chuck at a time that they seemed to be getting along so well let alone, why did she hated him so much after SHE being the one who left the poor guy.
"You never told me why we hate Mr. Dan!"
"And I don't intend to start doing so now!"
Flashback
Serena was waiting at the penthouse's foyer. Blair and Chuck had just gotten married, but for the time being Blair was still staying at her mother's penthouse. Chuck had to fly to Australia with his uncle to check the status of the business overseas, as well as to express his sorrow for his father's tragic and fatal accident (it looked good for the press); and present himself as the heir to his father's empire.
From the stairs Blair spotted her best friend with a dreamy expression that screamed to the world that something really good had just happened.
"S what's with the hurry? I got your text saying that you needed to talk to me in person...so here I am, what are the big news?"
"Dan said that he wanted to be with me...that it had always been me!" Serena said shredding her shoulders and biting her bottom lip. Blair could see that she was asking for an advice, even though the decision was already pretty much made.
Serena's words pierced right through Blair's heart, it had always been me! At that point she already disliked him enough, but somehow her hatred seemed to have risen due to the blonde's statement. He had always loved her best friend, even when he was with her…Blair simply felt as if a part of her had been ripped off. She was married to Chuck and she loved him to no end, but Dan had also been hers and as selfish as that sounded, she could not bear the thought that he had never been truly hers.
"And I presume that you are resuming your love story with that…that Brooklyn rat!" her words were spit with pure hatred, with intention to hurt him even though he was not even present.
"Please don't call him that! Yes, he might have caused some fuss in our lives with that entire Gossip Girl story, but at the end he did not cause any harm! I will not forget the wonderful person that he is just because of that." Serena's tone was apologetic, as if she was excusing herself on his behalf.
"Not only did he play gossip for years, he also published that horrific fiction about us…about you!"
"Was it entirely fiction?"
"Serena," Blair shouted "I cannot believe that you are defending him after all that he has done!"
"I love him Blair" Serena said in a calm, heart-felted tone "And I love him too"
"So, basically you just came to tell me that you two are together!"
"I guess so!"
"Duly noted!"
Blair felt something aching in her chest. She did not love him, she never did, but being Serena the one that he chose right after her…hurt way more than she expected.
"B, please you are my best friend…can you please be a little bit happy for me?"
"I can't Serena, not right now…not after all the stunts that he pulled."
"There was a time that he was your friend too, there was a time that he chose you…and I did my best to be happy for you guys, can't you reattribute the favour?"
"So should I have sex with him and record it too?" Blair spit, not bearing in mind the damage that she would probably cause to her friend…but honestly, not caring about it.
"Geez B, will you just get over it? You chose Chuck! Why do you care?"
"Because at the time he was my boyfriend…and he chose you!" Blair sounded more hurt than she intended. Why did she care so much about it? It was water under the bridge, and she had never loved him.
"I'm sorry that you feel that way, and believe me B, I am truly sorry that it happened like that!"
"You know what? It's in the past now, and if you want to relate yourself to that…person, well, you are my best friend and I love you!"
Serena smiled at her. While they were arguing Blair had come down the stairs and was now face to face with her best friend, which allowed the blonde to pull her in a tight hug.
"I love you too…and I'm so happy!"
With that Serena smiled again and rushed towards the lift. She pushed the button and in the few seconds that it took for the doors to slid open, she turned to look at her friend one more time before leaving Blair alone in the penthouse and running back to the loving arms of her new boyfriend.
"Double date sometime this week?"
"Still too soon!" Blair sounded exhausted.
Serena gave her a faint smile and a nod before she entered the lift and disappeared. Blair was left paralyzed in the middle of the foyer. She could not get a handle of what she was feeling at this point; a mixture of hanger, pain, hurt and disappointment.
It had always been me!
Serena's words echoed in the back of her mind, and as her chest tightened, she felt on the verge of tears.
I did loved him.
End of Flashback
That memory still had an effect on her; the reasons behind it, only Lord knows. She inhaled deeply and hoped that he would just pass by and don't give any acknowledge to her presence.
"Hello Mrs. Bass!"
Her hopes crashed at the sound of his voice.