January 29th, 2013
Rex dives into the snow banks outside of Troy's house. Before every jump, he sticks his entire snout into the snow, pulls it back out quickly, spins around a few times, and then leaps forwards. Gushes of snow drift off with the gentle wind, being carried off many different directions before landing slowly on the ground. Rex loves the cold winter; Troy does not.
"Honey, are you okay?" says Kay as her hand falls on Troy's shoulder.
Troy jolts back a bit and turns his head crookedly towards Kay. He nods slightly.
"I was just making sure," she says, "because I know you're dealing with a lot."
Troy swipes the back of his hand across his face and shoves his hands in his pockets. He knows that only two weeks lies between him being a teenager and him being a father to an adopted child. Two weeks before his entire life will change. In a way, he really doesn't want to give the baby up, but how could he be a father? Jessica definitely won't want anything to do with the baby, so there will be no mother. His mom can't help him because she's battling for her life. His friends have no experience with kids at all. The only person he can recall that could help him is Gabriella, since she has young brothers and sisters, and she's too upset with him to help him do anything. It only leaves one option.
Give the baby up and suffer from helplessness, or keep it and suffer without help.
A few translucent tears freely fall from his eyes. He keeps his head down in shame, hiding the weakness that he cannot help.
"Mom?" Troy turns his head slightly to the side, looking at her through the corner of his eye.
"What is it?" she answers as she folds her clean clothes and packs them neatly into her dresser.
Troy stares outside at Rex, who is seven floors below him. Outside with him are two adults and a little girl named Paige, who has been suffering from Lymphoblastic Leukemia before his mom was diagnosed with Colorectal cancer. Paige was diagnosed when she was six months old and is now five years old. She is happiest with animals and Troy knows that Rex makes her very happy. She is also a full-time patient at the hospital since her case of cancer is so bad. Her mother and father stay with her as well, sleeping on cots beside her bed every night, hoping and praying that she gets better, but she has never gotten better. She has always progressed deeper into the cancer stages, no matter how much radiation and chemotherapy she has. About three years ago, she lost every bit of her hair. To make it worse, she also lost complete hearing in her left ear.
Paige turns around outside, looks up into Kay's room window, and waves excitedly at Troy. Troy waves back at her with a smile on his face, no matter how upset he is.
Paige is a strong, unbreakable little girl.
"I don't know if I want to give away my baby, mom," he says quietly.
Kay stops folding clothes for a few seconds, staring at him, then she goes back to her action, "I don't think you should keep it, honey."
"Why not?"
"At your age, I just don't see how you could do it by yourself. Not only that, but you need to do things that kids your age do. A baby will make you grow up pretty quickly."
Troy stands up from the chair and begins to walk around slowly, "I just don't want my kid going to a bad home, you know."
"I know how you feel," she shakes her head, "I wonder all the time about Izzy and if your father is treating her okay. I wonder about her being fed, having a roof over her, going to school, and even where she is, but I can't let that bring me down. I have you to still take care of since you're under eighteen, even though I'm not home, I still keep a roof over your head and I put food in the fridge for you every two weeks, and I have Baylie and Amelia who are eating my savings account alive. I know your father loves Izzy and takes care of her, but I still worry about her."
Troy's phone begins to buzz. An unfamiliar ringtone plays. He quickly pulls it out of his pocket and looks at the screen. He slides the bar at the bottom and holds it up to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Is this Troy Bolton?" a woman asks.
"Yes, who is this?" he looks over at his mom and shrugs.
"My name is Dr. Wolf, I'm Jessica's OB/GYN."
"Oh okay, why are you calling me, though?"
"Well, we seem to have a slight problem with Jessica's pregnancy. I've sent her to the Bozeman Medical Center to be induced today, due to the fact that the baby's umbilical cord is wrapped around its neck, and its heartbeat is slowing down significantly. If we don't deliver today, there could be brain damage and it could possibly die. She wanted me to call you because she's only a few minutes away from giving birth. I'm going to be at the hospital in a few minutes. I wanted to know if you wanted to be in-"
"No, I don't want to be there and Jessica doesn't want me to be there, either," he blurts quickly.
"Oh," Dr. Wolf says.
Between the two phones, there is a moment of silence before Troy speaks.
"Thank you, Dr. Wolf."
"Your very welcome, Mr. Bolton."
Troy hangs up quickly and looks over at his mom, "I'll be back later, I promise."
"Where are you going-"
"Jessica's going to have the baby. I'm just going to get down there in case something happens. Stay here so Paige doesn't wonder where everyone is when she brings Rex back up."
…..
Hospital staff fly by Troy, rushing pregnant mothers to awaiting delivery rooms. Minutes after every mother is in the room, screams emerge from between the cracks of each door, the violent screams nobody in the hospital seems to notice but Troy. He holds his hands over his ears and winces every time another helpless moan finds him. The hours tick away, the clock reads five PM, then six PM, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, and twelve AM. What really drives him insane is the fact that he has heard nothing about the condition of Jessica or the baby. Not one doctor has left Jessica's room, nor one nurse that walks by the room knows anything. It's like everyone is oblivious, but they have to know something.
"Excuse me, ma'am," Troy sits up as the head nurse passes him.
She turns around quickly, "Yes?"
"I was wondering if you knew anything about Jessica or her baby?"
She frowns and shakes her head, "Unfortunately, sir, I can't disclose any information about any patients-"
Troy stands up and cuts her off sharply with, "I've been told this too many times, I need to know how they are. If you can't tell me, then I'm going to break into this room and find out myself."
"Are you the father of the child?"
He nods quickly.
"I can let you in the room only if you're related to the baby. You should have just asked a nurse if you could be let in-"
"I did. They told me I wasn't allowed in there."
She turns back around and starts back down the hall, "You can go in."
Troy quickly turns himself towards the door and pulls the handle while pushing the lever above it. He hears a faint click, and the door is free. He closes it behind him as he enters the room.
The room is dimly lit with only a small lamp. On the hospital bed is Jessica, who is hugging her knees to her chest. She stares into space with no intention of responding to anything that happens.
"Jessica? It's me, Troy."
She slowly turns her head towards him. Her mascara and eyeliner are smeared down her face in runny tears. She swiftly wipes them away, trying to hide them. In a teary voice, she says, "Hi, Troy."
He walks very slowly into the middle of the room, looking at only her. Once again, she tries to hide her sorrow, but cannot.
"Are you okay?" Troy asks with a gentle voice. She looks up at him and half laughs, half cries.
"You're asking me if I'm okay in the most comforting way when you've been a complete asshole to me the entire time I've been pregnant? I'm not fucking okay. I'm giving my baby up to someone I don't even know. I'll never see it. I don't want to see it. I signed the papers, it's done, Troy. All you have to do is sign your part and the baby is gone."
Troy takes a seat in the mother's rocking chair beside her bed. He sighs a bit and avoids her eyes.
"Why the fuck are you even here? I told you I would send the fucking paperwork to your house," she hisses.
"I'm here with my mom; she's in the cancer center, and I thought I might come down to see if my kid is okay, since I heard the cord was wrapped around its neck," he responds.
She chuckles, "There's more wrong with it than that, Troy. It's not even worth telling you."
He raises his voice, "Look, if you don't think I care about this baby, YOU ARE WRONG! Jesus fucking Christ Jessica, I signed up to make sure this baby goes to a good home, to make sure it's healthy, and to make sure that you were taken care of as far as prenatal things go. So far, only one of the three things ever happened. I don't know where the fuck my kid is going, since the adoption agents can't find a home for it, and I don't even know if my kid is healthy. I shouldn't have even came down here."
He stands up to leave, but Jessica stops him.
"I'm upset too, okay? I don't know where its going either or if it's okay."
Troy turns his back to her and begins to walk out of the room. Jessica sobs and cries behind him, but he ignores her and slams the door. He storms angrily down the halls of the mother and baby section of the hospital until he comes across the NICU section. His sneakers squeak as he stops quickly at the front desk.
"Where the hell is Dr. Wolf?"
The ladies at the desk look at each other, "We don't have a Dr. Wolf at this hospital-"
"She's an OB/GYN from downtown Bozeman. She came here because she looks after the mother of my baby."
"Oh, that Dr. Wolf, she's in the DRC," the lady on the left says.
"Where is that?" Troy says.
"Down that hallway to the right, and it's the last door on the left."
"Thanks," he says quickly as he rushes down the hallway and turns a sharp right. Each door is closed and sealed tightly, since every newborn baby is important to them and cannot be sick.
The sign on the last door on the left reads 'Drug Rehabilitation Center (DRC)', so Troy enters.
"Dr. Wolf," he says, relieved.
"Mr. Bolton, what are you doing here?" she says as she whips around.
He closes the door gently behind him. "I know you're probably taking care of someone else's baby right now, but I really need to know about mine. Is it okay?"
"I'm not taking care of someone else's baby, yours is the only one that was under my care," she stares at his frozen body. "Is something wrong?"
"Yeah, we're in the Drug Rehabilitation Center. My baby isn't here."
Dr. Wolf slips a latex glove on her left hand, "I'm sorry to have to deliver this kind of news to you, but your baby is here in the DRC. I concluded a few hours ago that the baby was addicted to some kind of drug, so I asked Jessica about any illegal drug use or prescription abuse while she was pregnant, and she admitted that she had taken various opiates while she was pregnant.
Troy's head spins. He finds a seat and sits down in it quickly, cradling his head in his two hands. Pain sears through his skull. He remembers making jokes about her being addicted to something, even though he was just playing. He never thought she was taking any kinds of drugs while she was pregnant. She never showed any signs of withdrawal while he saw her. She never even looked like she was high at any point.
"So the baby is addicted to drugs? What else is wrong?"
Dr. Wolf sighs, "Brain damage from the drug use is probably in the baby's future. The baby was born without a heartbeat, so the nurses had to revive it. It's now on Oxygen, since the lungs aren't fully developed, and close observation."
"God damn her," Troy shakes his head and takes a deep breath.
"My deepest apologies, Mr. Bolton."
"Is the baby going to be okay?" he looks up at her helplessly.
"At this point Mr. Bolton, I'm going to give it a few days before I'm going to conclude anything. If I don't see significant changes, then I don't think it will make it."
"I haven't signed the paper," Troy holds back a few tears, "the final paper."
"Until you sign that paper, the baby is in the state's hands. If you decide not to sign the paper, the baby is in your hands. It all depends on what you want, Mr. Bolton. Jessica has no say in this, since she already signed the paper. She is to have no contact with this child under all circumstances."
Troy sits back in the chair, "Can I see the baby? Just once, since I'll never see it again?"
Dr. Wolf sighs and puts her right glove on, "I'm not supposed to allow you to have contact with the baby since you are having a closed adoption, but I guess I can make an exception."
Troy stands slowly to his feet while Dr. Wolf hands him two gloves and a green overcoat. He slips the overcoat on and quickly pulls the two gloves on his hands. He follows Dr. Wolf into the doorway and into a room with various hospital equipment. She directs him around this and to a small hallway with four doors on each side. The first door on the right is the one she directs him to. She pulls the door open gently, lets Troy in, and closes it quietly.
"Just hold on a second, I think the baby is asleep," she says and checks the monitor on the left of another door in front of them. "I guess the baby woke up then."
She pushes open another door and allows Troy to walk in first. His heart beats as he sees a small baby, no longer than his forearm, curled up in a ball. Beside the baby lies a yellow and green blanket, one smaller than the dish towels he uses at home. The baby's muscles contract a few times and then they relax quickly after. The features of Troy are shown on its face, not Jessica's, and straight, light brown hair caresses its head. Long fingers, short, stubby toes, and a roman nose. Troy finds a seat beside the small incubator and is careful when he sits in it, afraid that he might disturb the baby. A few tears escape the corners of his eyes but he is quick to rid himself of them.
"Boy or girl?" is the first thing that leaves Troy's mouth.
Dr. Wolf chuckles a little. She turns the light on above the incubator and walks over to a machine, "Are you sure you want to know that?"
"I'm just curious," a little smile creeps out of the corners of his mouth.
"If you really want to know, then I'll tell you."
Troy looks back at the stressing baby and glances at Dr. Wolf, "Tell me," he says.
"Boy," she says, "six pounds, one ounce, 3:15 PM."
Troy finds a little hope in a crevice of his heart. He strokes the incubator with a gentle stroke. The baby opens his eyes a little and twitches once before letting out a small yawn. Troy gives a little smile, still trying to fend off tears, but it is inevitable.
He knows that this baby belongs with him, not with someone he doesn't know, or with Jessica, or anyone else. This is his baby.
"Connor," Troy whispers to the baby, "Gabriella loves that name, so you're going to be Connor."
"I'm guessing that you're going to keep him?" Dr. Wolf crosses her arms and looks down into the incubator.
"I don't know if I could live with myself giving him to someone else. I couldn't live with myself even leaving this hospital, knowing he's suffering. I'm more than angry at Jessica for doing this to him; I'm angry at her for a lot of things, but I do know that I can do this by myself. I can raise a baby. Maybe it will be hard, but I can't just leave him in the dust."
Dr. Wolf sighs a little and checks the monitor again, then at the baby, "I don't know if he's ever going to be mentally stable after this if he makes it out okay, Mr. Bolton, but I'm kind of glad that you're deciding to keep him. He wouldn't have any visitors to talk to him. Poor little guy."
Troy is absorbed. He cannot pull his eyes away, even for the slightest second.
Connor is his baby.