Hi guys! SOrry for updating the same doc twice! I clicked the wrong doc but this is the right one :P my bad haha. anyways thanks for the reviews(: i tried to update yesterday but FF was having some troubles :( oh well! hope you like this chapter! Read. Enjoy. Review.

That next particular month was bad. I stayed with Bex after the accident at Cammie and my house. Instead of going over to their house after my weeklong visit with Cammie, I decided to go back to our house thinking that I had gotten over the worst of the shock and depression. I ate more than I did before, but it still wasn't nearly enough. I still hadn't seen the gym or CIA training facility. I was getting more sleep so the bags began to disappear. People told me I looked good but I know that they meant I just looked better than before. Before, I looked like death.

At the hospital that day I had told a Cammie I'd bring her something special of ours. A couple of weeks before she left for her mission we'd gone on a vacation to London. We went to the ice rink that we had met that one time at so many years ago. While we were there we found a little souvenir shop by the rink that sold hand made ice skate knick-knacks. We got a pair with her name on one and mine on the other to hang on our Christmas tree seeing as it was in a couple of days. It was currently sitting above the mantel in our living room.

She loved the skates so much that once the Christmas season was over, she wanted to keep them up so she made a little statuette of them. I thought that if she had something she loved by her, besides the people she loved, it would make it easier for her to heal.

I didn't anticipate what would happen when I got into our house though. I didn't tell anyone I was coming here. I left a little earlier than I usually do from the hospital and drove to the house. When I exited the car and stood on our lawn, I couldn't help the rush of emotions that came over me. I could remember the day I got Cammie the house. It was our second anniversary and we had decided to move into a house rather than stay in an apartment. Part of that was because we were expecting. Cammie thought I was still looking for a house but a couple of days after she told me about the pregnancy I knew exactly what house we should get.

It wasn't big, but it wasn't small. It had two bedrooms: one master and a spare. There were two bathrooms, a living room, family room, game room, and garage. There was a huge lawn in the backyard complete with a big lemon tree that easily manageable. It was perfect for our needs. Cammie and I would be able to take the master bedroom and our little boy or girl could have the extra room.

The day that I took Cammie to the house was one of the happiest days of our lives. We had a house and we were going to be a family. She had cried that day. It was the first time I had seen her cry since I proposed and both of those times were tears of happiness. Three weeks later, we lost the baby. I felt my heart squeeze looking at the house now. I was standing in the exact same spot that I showed her the house.

I don't know what came over me next. A flood of emotion tore through me as I rushed to the door, unlocked it and flung it open making a dent in the drywall next to it. I heard a groan and snap and I assumed I broke the door. I tore through the house knocking photos off the walls and kicking the furniture. At one point I punched a hole in the wall, but I can't remember where. All I knew was that I had a broken hand. I had gotten to the kitchen before Grant found me. He saw the door ripped off its hinges and had rushed in. He grabbed me as I reached to pick up the toaster Cammie's mom had given us for our wedding present. I wanted to smash it into a million pieces.

"Zach!" He screamed while pulling my arms around my back like I was getting arrested. "Stop!" I continued to struggle against him. In a normal state of mind, I would have easily been able to defeat Grant and then counter, but my rage had clouded my thinking and judgment.

"Let me go!" I yelled. Grant eventually had to make me pass out. When I woke up I was at his house tucked into the bed. I had scrapes all over my arms and I my cheeks stung. I struggled up to the mirror to find that my face was completely scratched by broken glass. I felt a pain in my right hand a looked down to see it bandaged and cast. I managed to straggle into the kitchen where I saw Grant sipping on coffee. He looked similar to me with scratches and scrapes everywhere. Luckily, neither of was seriously injured to the point where we had to go to the hospital.

"Are you okay?" He asked me while handing me a mug. I glumly shook my head but took the coffee appreciatively. It was black and caused me to shudder. I normally loaded my coffee up with sugar and cream. Cammie used to joke that if I did that enough that I'd get diabetes, or worse yet, get fat.

"What happened last night?" Grant prodded. I shrugged my shoulders and continued to sip on the vile drink.

"Why did you go alone?" I chose not to answer this one. I knew the answer though. I didn't want anyone to see me snap. I had felt it coming on for a while; all the emotions and all the turmoil was building up inside of me waiting to release itself and that night was just when I snapped.

"How did you find me?" I asked him.

"When you didn't come home, I just assumed that's where you'd go. If it were me, it's where I'd go. We were all waiting for you to go back there. We all knew this would happen, we just weren't sure when." I nodded. Grant's reasoning made sense. I could always tell that the others were tense around me, picking their words carefully and not talking to me for long periods of time in fear of letting something slip.

I didn't finish the coffee. I thanked Grant for coming last night, placed the mug in the sink and returned to my room. Once I was there, I flopped on the bed when I heard a crunch. I felt around my jacket from last night and pulled something out of my pocket. It was the skates. Mine was still intact but Cammie's tip had broken off so her name only read 'mie' on the side. Frustrated with myself I threw the ice skates against the wall and pulled the covers harshly over myself.

The ice skate separated and lay in opposite parts of the room.