She returned to her guests.

She had pointless conversations with topics that she could not even recall since her mind had one topic only, Dan. As hard as she tried to wash that image off of her head, it would always crawl back. The thought of him was consuming and that fact that she could still taste him on her lips and feel warmth in the places where he had laid his hands was not helping either. She felt her throat going dry and she took another sip at her drink; she would be taking a lot of sips that day.

She was entertaining a little group of people, a mix of business men and housewives. She would occasionally smile and let out a little laugh whenever she heard her peers doing the same, but she would not know the reason why they were doing this. She searched for him from a far, her eyes rooming the space in search for his figure. She had not noticed him leaving the stable, but yet again she had not been looking for him since the start. She was angry at him. They had finally given in into a moment of passion, and it had felt so right. It was familiar, comfortable, tender and passionate at the same time that was the best way she could describe it. She had felt complete, as if she had finally returned home after a forced absent. She could no longer deny to herself that she hadn't done a mistake; she had chosen the wrong man and she could finally admit that to herself. Maybe the fact that Chuck was constantly absent was clouding her reasoning and once he would return, she would fall in love with him all over again; but at the same time, something in her knew she wouldn't, something in her told her that Dan was way too deeply carved in her heart…she had only forgotten that along the way. However his actions that day brought a huge amount of doubt to her heart. He had kissed her so passionately, touched her with such devotion, his voice singing the song of his heart…it had been wonderful. But all of a sudden he regretted his actions and he broke apart from her. That felt like a rejection, but what she could not forget was that as he was rejecting her, she could still see desire in his eyes; that he hadn't been able to betray. She finally spotted him leaning over a fence and watching the horses with a distant look on his face. She wanted to run to him and demand an explanation. She wanted to hear from him why he had stopped their kiss when he clearly wanted that to happen too. She was about to excuse herself when she spotted a blond woman walking on his direction. It didn't take her long to identify the woman, but if she had any doubts, the kiss that that woman shared with Dan made it all clear. She could not help to feel a tug in her heart. Maybe that moment that she had shared earlier with Dan gave her a certain sense of possession that was now being threatened by his wife. She knew how screwed that all sounded but how could she shake that feeling off? She ended up excusing herself and as she moved to an empty spot, she started dialling.

"Hello!" she heard the man on the other side of the line saying with a sultry voice.

"Hi Chuck!" she said softly, "How are you?"

"Missing you! But besides that busy with meetings and business dinners." He inhaled deeply, "How is Henry?"

"He is having a blast! The party is a success; everything is tailored to the last detail…just perfect." Blair said with a smile on her face as she spotted her son playing happily with a bunch of children.

"I wish I could be there!" She could hear the sincerity in his voice, and that broke her heart just a little, "But if everything goes as planned I should be home a little bit earlier than expected."

"That's great news."

"I will keep you informed. Blair…dear…give a hug for me to Henry." He made a brief pause, "I have to go, I have to prepare for a meeting."

"Alright, I'm going back to entertaining our guests."

"I love you!"

"I love you too."

"Bye."

"Bye-bye." She said and she hanged up the phone. She took a deep breath as she looked around to evaluate who she would talk to next. She didn't have to make a decision as her best friend approached her, spooking her from behind.

"Oh gosh, Serena!" Blair screamed lightly as she jumped from the surprise. That provoked a laugh from her best friend.

"I'm back B!"

"I can see that clearly!" Blair said pretending to sound irritated. The truth was that she was happy to have her best friend back; she did love Serena as a sister. "How was the photo shooting?

"Ah…it-it was alright." Serena said sounding both nervous and hesitant. "B, I have to tell you something!" Now Blair saw guilt on her face.

"Go ahead!" Blair said trying to sound reinsuring.

"I-I kissed someone today. Well actually I was kissed, but I didn't step away straight away." Serena revealed giving her trademark "bottom lip bite".

"Serena!?" Blair said with a certain judgment in her voice. "What were you thinking?"

"That's it…I wasn't thinking!" Serena said not looking Blair in the eye. "Lately Dan has been distant. God I love him…and I know he loves me too, but lately we are having problems…hum…connecting!" Serena finally looked Blair in the eye.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, maybe because it would just be making it more real…but when I was kissed today and I found myself kissing back…that was all that I needed to know that it IS real."

"S, you should talk to Dan about it?" Blair noticed that she was giving advices against herself, and she found herself balanced between undermining Serena's relationship or actually help her friend. She felt like a screw up, how could she be thinking those things? It was her best friend, the one she loved like a sister. She could not do anything to hurt Serena; they were no longer those girls in high-school that rejoiced with the others misery, they were functional friends now. And yet Blair was in love with her friend's husband.

"Do you think I should? Isn't it better to give it some time?"

"No! Serena you have been giving it time and, look at what happened today? You let yourself go…if you give it more time, imagine what can happen next!"

"You are right; I'm going to talk to him." Serena said with a smile on her face. She hugged her friend tightly. "You are the best!"

"I know!" Blair replied, and they both shared a laugh.

They kept on chatting for what felt like an eternity. People would come to join them for a while, but they would all eventually leave as the party approached its end. The sunlight started to dim, painting the sky with a mix of oranges and purples making it a truly beautiful sight. Serena and Dan were the last ones to leave as they left with Blair, Dorota and Henry.

Since they had kissed in the stables, they hadn't shared a word. They would even avoid each other's eyes, scared of what they might see in them. Serena seemed not to notice any change in their behaviour and, for a second Blair thanked those years of bickering and avoidance, it had provided them with a good disguise for this situation. They only crossed gazes when they were saying their goodbyes. Blair was hugging Serena and when they parted, she saw Dan kneeling down to be at the same height than Henry. She watched as they shared a conversation that ended with Dan messing Henry's hair has he stood up. Blair felt warmth rushing to her heart and she wished she could kiss him again. As he stood up he looked in Serena's direction, just to find Blair instead. So much and so little was said in that moment with one simple look in the eye. Desire was the strongest feeling present, followed by regret and confusion. They both knew that this could not go on, that they could not hurt those who were so close to them; but a very little voice told them that it could not be helped.

They parted with their cars on a race to the Upper East Side. In Blair's car the only topic was the party. Henry could not contain his excitement while sharing all the highlights of his birthday party. Blair listened with full attention, enjoying every word that her son spoke and thankful for the distraction away from Dan.

In Dan's car the conversation was much different.

A few days had passed since the party.

Their lives had returned to their normality; without the preparations for the party they had reduced their encounters to the normal numbers: as little as possible. However this time was not for despite, it was for fear of not being able to hold back the need to hold the other.

If Dan had already been thinking too much about Blair before the party, after was even worst. She was in his every thought, the taste of her mouth still in his as a memory of something that he had to have again. He would write more and more inspired by her. It was on one of these maniac writing days that he reached a block. The sunlight filled his office with light, and he felt the appeal to look outside of his window. It was a beautiful day, maybe one of the last truly beautiful summer days. This had been a memorable summer. He had re-learned how to tolerate Blair's presence; then he had re-learned how funny and amusing she could be, also, how such a wonderful intellectual peer she could be; then he re-learned how sensual she was, how it felt to pine over her all over again and then he re-learned how it was to duel with his feelings for her all over again. After the party, has he was driving home he had had a very serious and heartfelt conversation with Serena. She had poured her heart to him. She told him that she felt like they were growing distant from the other, and then she joked by saying that they hadn't been married for that long for that to happen. He listened to her feeling even more guilty. He knew that he had been distant from Serena because of the overwhelm that it had been to fall for Blair all over again. He apologized and she stated that it was both their fault. They finished with promises of change. That night he made love to her. At a certain point the image of Blair crossed his mind…and he had never felt so guilty in his entire life.

He was awaken from his flashback by the sound of his ring tone.

"Hello?"

"Hi love!" Serena said happily on the other side of the line. "How is your writing going?"

"Well actually I just hit an unexpected block, but it will clear soon hopefully. How is your day going? What are you doing?"

"First I hit the gym for a little bit, had lunch with Blair and now I decided to do a little bit of shopping. It's a good day off." Serena said with a chuckle.

"I'm glad you are having fun, I was…"

"Oh honey…I almost forgot" Serena interrupted him as if it was a matter of life and death that she delivered the message, "We are going to the Blair's for dinner tonight. Chuck is back so Blair is throwing him a welcome dinner."

Dan felt his breath leaving him for a moment as his stomach went cold. It became hard to swallow and Dan knew that he had to say something or Serena would find it weird. "Had he been gone long enough to deserve a welcome dinner?" Dan tried his best not to betray his actual feelings. He was angry and bothered by his return. A lingering feeling of jealousy washed over him and he felt sick just by thinking about Blair in his arms.

Serena laughed on the other side of the line, giving him a shiver. "You know how Blair is; everything is a good excuse for a party. Anyways, Nate is also coming so it will be just us. I'm kind of excited about it."

She sounded excited but he could not reciprocate the feeling, the last thing he wanted was to see Chuck parade with Blair on his arm. He cursed himself for letting this woman come back to his life, but at the same time he didn't regret it. He was a mess.

"Yeah…it will be nice." Dan said with no excitement on his voice, giving him away to Serena.

"Yes, I can see that." Serena said with a laugh, "So please be home by 7 pm so we can get ready and go."

"Yes ma'am!"

"I will see you later then…7 pm, don't forget."

"I won't"

"Love you!" Serena said with a sound of a kiss at the end.

"Love you too!" Dan said and they hang up the phone.

He looked outside one more time. It didn't look like such a beautiful day anymore. Right now Blair could be in Chuck's arms, compensating for lost time. This image made Dan's stomach swirl. Jealousy was an ugly monster that Dan could not avoid welcoming. He wanted to be the one holding her, touching her silky skin and tasting her lips as that intoxicating smell of hers washed away every rational thought.

He sat on his desk and started to write angrily, and so he did until seven. When his alarm rang to indicate that if he would stay a minute longer he would be in trouble, he clicked the save button and as he closed his laptop he grabbed for his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair and headed out the door.

Chuck's return had been a surprise. One day she was returning home from work when she heard giggles coming from the living room. Approaching the area she was able to recognize her husband's voice and his figure in the living room when she entered was the last need proof that he was back.

She was happy for his return, but at the same time she wished he hadn't. She felt awful for feeling like that; she had to be losing her mind that was the only explanation for wanting your husband away so that you can be with your best friend's husband. Well, in fair honesty, that last part she could cut off. Dan hadn't made any move nor given any sign that he wanted to be with her. They had barely seen each other since the party and she couldn't deny that she missed him. She had been blind before, but now she could see clearly that he was the man she loved. All it took was a kiss. And she had replayed that kiss over and over in her mind, first she looked for answers for the reason why he had rejected her, but after a while she could only delight herself in the passion that they had shared. She wanted to feel that way again, but she knew she couldn't and that only brought her regret for letting him go all those years ago. Now everything had been forgotten, her fears for his undying love for Serena, the heartbreak that that sex tape brought her, the anger towards him because of the things that he was writing; it was all gone.

But she had her husband right in front of her. As soon as Chuck noticed her presence, he stood up with a grin, walked towards her and pulled her into a deep kiss. She could tell that he had missed her for he kissed her so eagerly.

Later that evening, she was lying in bed with her negligee and a content Chuck, sleeping soundly next to her. Making love to him that evening felt…wrong! He was at his top level, but it just felt wrong; he was not the one she wanted to do that with. As she lied on her back she let her mind wander off to Dan once again. She thought of him and of his chiselled chest. She felt her heart pace race and an acknowledging smile spread across her face.

She dreamt about him that night.

Dan entered his apartment to be greeted with a full on the lips kiss. Serena hanged her arms around his neck as she kissed him passionately. He let a soft moan escape into her mouth, and she just kissed him even deeper in return.

"Where did that come from?" Dan asked; his mind still clouded from the strength of that kiss.

"Since when do I need permission to tease my husband?" She said with a sultry voice as she held his lower lip between her teeth.

She kissed one more time and Dan started to feel aroused. Serena was of extreme beauty and her body drove every man insane, he was no exception. Her perfectly curved hips, her delicate waist, her full round breasts, her brown locks…suddenly Dan opened his eyes in awe, he had started picturing Blair while he had his beautiful wife in his arms. He broke the kiss gently, trying to not give himself away.

"Maybe we should start getting ready!" He said giving her a quick peck.

"Hmmm…are you sure?" She said clearly aroused as well.

"Yes, as much as I want to do this…it is rude to be late for dinner!"

"Fine!" She said turning away, "But we can continue when we come back." She said turning around one more time and kissing him for the last time.

"Maybe…" he teased her as she started to walk up the stairs.

He moved towards the bar and poured himself a glass of whiskey. This would be a long night.

Nate was the first to arrive. Blair and Chuck greeted him and Chuck escorted him to the bar to pour his friend a drink. Blair busied herself revising the schedule and menu with the catering supervisor. She was very aware of who her guests were, especially one of them. She felt like a nervous wreck; he would enter her penthouse any time soon with Serena on his arm, and for the first time after the party they would be in a limited space with the company of the other. She was not entirely sure of how she would react to this situation, she wanted to see him badly but she was terrified that she would give her jealousy away.

She heard the lift doors opening with a ding. Her head turned automatically into the direction of the lift. Serena stepped out first, her hand holding/pulling her husbands'. And there he was, looking as uncomfortable as she was feeling right now. Something inside of her turned warm and she could feel her heart race. She wanted so badly to go to him and kiss him on the lips, to feel his arms around her as she leaned against his back…but her surroundings were enough to break the reverie.

Serena walked happily towards her without letting Dan's hand go. Only when she was inches from her best friend, and prepared herself to hold her in a hug, she let go of Dan's hand. He just stood there as Serena hold Blair in a hug. Blair just stood there locking eyes with Dan. The force of his gaze sent shivers down her spine and she saw him moving uncomfortably for a split second, giving away to her that he was also shaken by her presence. Their gazes crossed with such intensity that it was hard for Blair to break it when Serena stepped away from their embrace.

They greeted each other animatedly and were soon joined by Chuck, who gave Serena a big hug and smiled at her as he answered all of her questions. Nate joined the party and placed himself between Dan and Chuck. Across from Dan was Blair and they could not stop to look at each other. Blair started to feel her checks blush and that gave her a shy smile from Dan. At some point Chuck must have made any reference to Blair, because he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, placing a gentle kiss on her temple. Nate, Serena and Chuck laughed lightly but Blair just gave them a polite smile and Dan simply felt his body tense.

He couldn't explain why seeing Blair with her husband was so upsetting, but it was. He felt a rush of anger coming over him, as jealousy poisoned his heart. He too smiled politely at the jokes that were being told; occasionally he would even let out a light laugh earning him, each time a look from Blair.

As for Blair, she could just compare this to a black waltz party; it just felt like a cruel joke. They were so close to each other, and clearly both of them were overwhelmed by desire, yet they could not act upon it due to the circumstances. She wanted to be able to snuggle into him as others engaged in conversations; she wanted to have his arm around her waist, not Chucks. Her stomach went could at this thought. She had caused this! She could have had him forever but she had made the wrong decision and she had lost it all…her doom at her own hand. Suddenly, Chuck's touch repulsed her, and she felt like a trapped animal.

The entire dinner went like this. She felt trapped in her own house, so close to what she wanted and yet so painfully apart. Every time their gazes would cross, she could read her own emotions plastered in his eyes…he was feeling the same way too; thirsty for each other's mouths and hungry for the other's touch. They finished dinner and moved back to the living room to engage again in conversation in a more comfortable layout. Chuck sat comfortably on the couch holding a glass of whiskey in one hand and Serena sat next to him, with a glass of red wine. Nate sat on another couch across from where Serena and Chuck were. Blair had excused herself to confer with the caterers. In the meantime, Dan stood in front of the window, taking in the cityscape. Noticing that no one would notice his absence, he moved to the bathroom only to in the last minute, make an unexpected turn towards the kitchen.

Blair was leaning in the counter with a glass of wine in hand as the caterers fixed the last details around her. She looked absent minded and Dan just felt even more lured to her. He approached her without her noticing.

"I need to talk to you." He whispered into her hear at which she jumped in surprise. She turned around to face him; as if she was not sure her mind had gotten the best of her and tricked her into hearing his voice. When she saw his face, her expression lighted up and she gave him a shy warm smile.

"Not here…come with me." She said lowly and she motioned for him to follow her. She guided him across the kitchen to a little area that had access to a balcony. She opened the sliding door and gesture for him to pass, closing the door after she too had done the same. "What did you need to tell me?" She asked him a little bit too dryly as if she had just pulled a protection.

"I-I…"he cleared his throat not looking her in the eye until that point. "I…" he stopped and he looked up, meeting her eyes.

If it would be possible for time to slow down, this would be one of those moments. Without another word, Dan just lunched his arms towards her to grab and pull her towards him. As their bodies were about to collide, his lips crashed against hers giving her a deep kiss. Their tongues didn't waste any time to come into the others mouth, starting that familiar dance for domination. Her hands grabbed his hair on the back of his head, pulling his mouth deeper into hers. Their kiss was hectic, an explosion of long repressed feelings and desire for the other.

He broke the kiss but held her forehead against his; his hands placed on both of her cheeks. They breathed erratically trying to recover from yet another moment of passion.

"I can't stand seeing you with him." He confessed lowly not opening his eyes.

Blair didn't know what to say. There he was, practically confessing to her and she was speechless. That moment however, didn't last long as the question that she had been dying to ask suddenly came to her mind. "Why did you reject me on the stables?" she had not been able to avoid a little tremble in her voice as she voiced her question.

He finally opened his eyes and moved his face away from hers so that she could look him perfectly in the eyes.

"I got scared…yo-you damaged me so much all those years ago, and there I was again…falling all over you as if nothing had happened. And then there is Serena…I-I couldn't do it."

"So why did you do it again?" Blair tested her waters.

"Because that's the only thing I can think about." He voiced huskily as he grabbed her one more time, pulling her to another kiss. She didn't protest and she just corresponded as eagerly to his kiss. When they pulled apart silence feel over them. They just stood there in each other's arms enjoying this moment of contentment. None of them spoke as they were too scared of ruining this precious moment.

They were brought back to reality with a loud laugh that came from the inside.

"We should go!" She said without any will in her voice.

"Yeah…you are right." His voice mirrored her will to move away from that place.

"Dan…What does this mean for us?"

He was not expecting that exact question, but he knew that at some point something like that would come.

"I don't know yet…but I want to figure it out."

She gave him a little smile and moved towards the sliding door. "Come over in a few minutes." She said as she exited.

Dan just stood in the balcony for a while taking in the cityscape for the second time that night, the only difference was that now he had a totally different state of mind.

A/n: How was it? Do you like the way things are going? Give me your feedback :D

Thanks for reading!

Xoxo

-patricia