The days that preceded the party went as planned. Serena and Chuck left together to Asia with the promise to return as soon as their jobs would allow. Dan stayed alone in the Hamptons with his writing and his thoughts. Blair returned to New York both to resume to work and to get away from Dan; since Henry was in France with his grandparents, he couldn't be used as an excuse, but work could.
The words that Dan had proffered still echoed in both her mind and her heart, and that only add to her confusion. Truth be told he had melted her heart with his words and it had taken all of her will not to run towards him and kiss him senseless nor to cry. However something had stopped her and she couldn't say exactly what it had been. On one side she had her consuming pride after all he did dump her right after a blissed day together, and she had never felt so rejected. Yes, she had been rejected before, used even, but not in her adult life and yet, even with all the teenage drama added, it had never hurt that much. On the other side of the equation there was this guilt. She felt guilty for hurting him so badly all those years ago, and in truth she had never realized how much damage she had inflicted until recently...so if his fear of her breaking his heart again had been provoked by her previous actions, she was partly to blame for her current
situation. Those were the thoughts that would keep her from sleeping, that would break her happily married woman mask during the day when she thought that no one was watching, that were so overwhelming that in one or two occasions brought uncontrollable tears to her eyes and had her bending on her knees in a desperate crying session. A couple of months ago her son had asked her if she was happy, and she had reassured him that she was very very happy, however that had the sinking feeling of having occurred in a totally different life time; she was not happy...not happy at all.

Dan sat in the side of the bed. His knees parted and used as support for his elbows that were being used as a support for his head. Another sleepless night; another memory of Blair and one more time regretting having laid her off in the loft. Had he not tried to be so noble, had he begged her to stay with him and she would probably be on his bed right now...and he wouldn't be so tired due to the lack of sleep; he wouldn't feel the urge to drink himself into oblivion and he wouldn't be so unhappy. Well, maybe he would be a different kind of unhappy for knowing that he was doing something wrong...that he was hurting Serena. What a mess! If only had he resisted the temptation that had been Serena at the Sheppard's divorce; if he hadn't forced Blair to declare her love for him, maybe she hadn't ran to Chuck's arms or even if she did, without that damned sex tape he could have had won Blair back. But life is made of ifs and insanity is not being able to move pass those defying moments.
Dan raised his head with melancholy to look outside of his window; the city that never sleeps fitted his current state perfectly.
And to add to it all, the desire that his wife had verbalized a few days back crossed his mind as either a solution or a further damnation: having a baby! It could be what he needed to delete any chances of ever being with Blair again, but did he really want that? At that point the possibility of ever being with her again was the fuel that made him move; and the fuel to his personal hell. Maybe he should have this baby with Serena! He wanted to be a father and a child with Serena was not exactly the worst thing in the world. But what if Blair…

"Dorota!" Blair shouted from the top of the stairs. "Dorota!"

"Yes, Mrs. Blair." Dorota replied as soon as she stepped into the living room.

"Dorota I must leave New York for a couple of days. Please proceed with the arrangements...prepare my luggage, which I will supervise naturally and you will be in charge of the household, so please any calls for me, just tell the caller that I will return it as soon as my schedule allows it." Blair dictated with an authoritarian tone.

"Yes Mrs. Blair! But..."

"Oh and ask the chauffeur to prepare the town car to take me to the airport...I must leave at once!"

"Yes Mrs. Blair, but..."

"What Dorota?" Blair asked with annoyance.

"Where should I pack to?"

"Paris, Dorota! What else?"

"And when will Mrs. Blair leave?"

"Tonight."

Blair watched as Dorota flashed her dress after dress, but she was not paying minimum attention to what was being shown to her, nor to what Dorota was babbling about.

"Mrs. Blair is distracted! Dorota almost packs last season dress and Mrs. Blair doesn't say a word." Dorota looked at Blair with her natural concern. Over the years she had seen that little girl transforming into the woman before her eyes, it was only natural that she would recognize when something was not right.

"I beckon your better judgment Dorota. If I hadn't said a word is because I was expecting you to realize your mistake and amend it. After all you do work for one of the biggest fashion brands in New York, it is only expected that you have a trained eye in fashion as well"

"No...no! Mrs. Blair has sad face like something wrong...very wrong!"

"Now you are just prying! Please resume your duties and let me be."

"As you wish...is Mrs. Blair going for business?"

"Yes, but you can pack a mix of business and casual! If I miss something I can always do some shopping." Blair replied lightly.

It was difficult for her to keep her focus on what Dorota was doing and she just hopped that the maid wouldn't pack any fashion disasters...not that she had any in her closet, but she definitely wouldn't like to be spotted with last year's trends in Paris.
This trip would do her well, she could not stand being in New York with the temptation that was an alone Dan Humphrey in the Hamptons. However in a few hours from there they would be on a plane to the city of lights...far from New York and from Dan. She would stay there as long as it was necessary to gather herself together...to decide if Dan was worth the risk of leaving everything she knew and to suffer the prejudice of being yet another Upper East Side cliché: cheating on her husband with her best friend's husband. She would ask herself how did she got herself in such a situation, but she knew the answer to that...and that hurt more than anything. It had all been her mistake.

The night had started to fall. Dan was sitting by the pool, glass in hand and his note block laying on the floor. He had given up on trying to get inspiration...it was all a big loop that systematically ended up with Blair. So he was just going to drink himself numb, he was alone after all so he could do whatever he wanted, whatever he had to to forget the pain that it had been watching her leave once again pretty much after he had declared his reasoning for pushing her away...most likely she didn't care! *one gulp* No, he would never be her prince charming...first she had an actual prince for a husband, *one sip* and now to a man that literally owned an empire! *one sip* what did he had to offer? Just his heart and what was that to Blair Warldorf Bass when all the others could offer her status, power and the continuity of a legacy. *chug it down* Dan filled the glass absently. The bottle was close to be half empty and yet the numbness had yet to come;
to add to his luck list, today seemed one of those days when you can drink as much as you want and you will still be the most sober person in the room.

Blair stared emptily to the cityscape of Manhattan while she waited for the last pieces of her luggage to be brought down to the car. Soon she would be gone, for a little while at least, and away from Dan.

Dan.

The thought of him brought tears to her eyes and even though she fought bravely against them, one lone tear dared to roll down her cheek.

"Mrs. Blair, it's all down!" Dorota announced softly sensing the brunette's fragility.

Blair brought one hand to her cheek to remove the traces of the daring tear before she turned around, with the brightest face that she could pull. "Thank you Dorota" The maid nodded and Blair directed herself to the lift "A bien tot!" She tried to sound as lightly as possible with her goodbyes, but Dorota would have said that she failed miserably. And it was with a heart filled with worry and sorrow that Dorota saw Blair entering the lift and vanish to Paris.

Everything that he could think of was her and the long way that they had to go to eventually see each other at a different light. Truth be told it had taken much less time to Dan. *one sip* He remembered finding her sitting in a corner, completely broken by both her mother and her best friend. *one sip* it had been the first time that they had talked...truly talked and even though the spell hadn't last for long, that day he saw a different side of her. *one sip* He never forgot what he saw that day.

The long black car waited in front of her building. The chauffeur opened the door as it was his habit, and Blair entered without a second look back. She had to do this, she needed to.
Knowing exactly the destination, the chauffeur just limited himself to drive away without a word; Blair felt that if she had to give out the order, she would not be able to finish it...it was better like this.
She rested her head on the window. Her glance over the passing city was melancholic; however it had nothing to do with what was passing by her eyes. Her mind had wandered off to every problem that she was having at the moment: the decline of her marriage and her affair with her best friend's husband. The last being the reason why she was fleeing town.

His mind was starting to be a blissful blur, but as he had predicted, she was all he could think of and its was breaking him. He had to break through that pain, he had too! Why was the brunette vixen so engraved in both his chest and his head? He had had his fair share of women before, but none had left a mark like Blair Waldorf.*one sip*
Why couldn't she see that she was the only one for him?
He had done some mistakes...that was true, but it didn't mean that his love was less true!
*a large gulp*
The alcohol was taking its toll on him.

She was so lost in her own thoughts that it took her a while to notice where she was: Brooklyn. She had to cross it in order to get to JFK, and she didn't think of asking the driver to take another route. That was like a walk through memory lane in the worst time possible. Everything that she was running from was now more and more vivid in her mind and heart.

Visions of their friendship times in the loft pained her. His soft and encouraging words in the time that she had needed them the most. He had declared his love to her so long before she even realized it herself...she just hadn't paid enough attention; he had been her safe port when she thought she had to face all those torments alone. The baby, Louis, Chuck, her times in W...it had all been Dan to give her strength when she had forgotten that she still had it within...he had reminded her of who she was and who she could be.

Her heart tugged a little bit further.

Damn her for making him suffer likes this, Dan thought as the alcohol consumed all of his emotions and made them double in intensity, or simply brought to light their true dimensions...who knew?
Tears were now dropping down his checks like a cascade, and in the loneliness and desperation that he had also found his escape to let it all out.

From visions of a great friendship came visions of a wonderful romance. He had been gentle to her and never in her life had she felt so safe in the arms of a man that was not her father. He brought little to no drama, and he wanted her for her, not for what she could bring him.
When he made her put on that zirconia tiara to give her another shot at being a princess...it had been the most considerate, sweetest gesture that anyone had ever demonstrated towards her. She missed him...she missed this wonderful Dan that she had treated so poorly. And once again that evening her heart did the unthinkable and sank a little bit further, and the tears that were now rolling down her cheek were living proof of that.

The flow of tears started to cease. He was not known for crying, not even with the high amount of alcohol on his system. Slowly he started to fell calmer, a reaction of those who loose hope. Enough of crying over Blair Waldorf...she had become a Bass because of her own doing, her own decision...over him, why was he crying over someone that hadn't blinked when the time to dump him came?
He could let himself fall into the path of hate again, but if he had learned something from the past was that it was a poisonous road that affected those that had nothing to do with his own demons.
No! He wouldn't go back on hating Blair, but he was not going to love her anymore either! With time there could be a possibility for them to become friends, but it would take a while.

Dan laid back on the sun bed and stared at the stars for a while, lost on his thoughts of the brunette that he had just decided that he would give up on; eventually he dozed off to sleep.

As the car was getting closer and closer to the airport, she started to feel an overwhelming sensation of panic. Her breathing became erratic and the before gentle tears, had become more constant...a flow.
She was feeling a rush of emotions, and they were not the most positive ones. She never thought that trying to close this chapter would be so hard on her. She cursed her own anatomy for not being able to just press a delete button and erase her mind, her heart. And it was all her fault...she only had herself to blame. It just hurt more than anything she had ever experienced.
With her surroundings came the recognition that she was getting closer and closer to the airport and therefore to Paris. As suddenly as this realisation hit her she started to feel as if she was caged, trapped in her own car; at each wheel movement the feeling of claustrophobia grew more and more suffocating, until it reached her limit.
Breathing heavily she shouted one single word filled with emotion and with a scary certainty to the chauffeur.
"Stop!"

Dan lied on a sun bed by the pool. The alcohol was slowly wearing his effects off of him. The cool summer breeze brought him an unusual comfort as if it was all he needed at that moment. The night was darker than what it would be expected, without a single star in sky to add to the obscurity of the moment.
"Why her?" He heard a familiar voice ask behind him. It was a soft female voice that carried so much sorrow on its tone, it actually broke his heart.
He looked around to identify the speaker, but there was no one in sight. He heard her again, asking the same exact question, "Why her?", but this time her voice was much more assertive and the sorrow had been replaced with anger.
Dan repeated his previous action and he again looked around to try to visualise the woman that spoke to him.
He felt as if the night had become even darker and colder. He couldn't, for the sake of him, say who that woman was just by the sound of her voice, he just knew that whoever she might be...he knew her.
"Damn alcohol!" Dan reflected on a low tone, but taken by his curiosity and the creepiness of the situation, he prepared his manliest voice and shouted to the darkness, "who is here?"

Silence was all that he got. The night was pitch black now, and Dan could no longer distinguish any of his surroundings.
"Who's there?" He repeated with the same tone as before. "Show yourself!" He ordered.
But the only reply that he received this time was a ringing sound. The sound was crescent and unsure of its origins, Dan lowered his body to the ground and covered his ears; but the sound only seemed to get louder and louder.

Dan jumped from the sun bed with some drops of sweat shining on his forehead. It had been just a dream. He let out a relieved exhale, but his nightmare converted into reality when he heard the ringing sound again. At first, in his gaze of confusion he hadn't be able to identify the origin of such sound, but when the faint sound of someone hitting their hands against the wooden door he knew that he had a visitor...and by the sound of it, this person was in a rush.

He got up from the sun bed slowly and wiped the drops of sweat with a towel that was lying around. The knocks became stronger and Dan decided that he should rush to the door.

"Coming!" He shouted to the unknown visitor. Fuck, what if it was the police? What if something happened? This late at night it couldn't be a visit for tea!

Dan's heart started to race and he started to feel the beginning pain of a headache. As his hand touched the door knob a shiver went down his spine. Filling his lungs with air for courage, he opened the door.

The visitor didn't give him time to react. As soon as the door swung open Dan lips were taken. He didn't have time to mutter a word; he didn't have time to even think of such words, his whole was busy with the loving kiss that he was sharing at that moment. A kiss filled with passion, despair and an undeniable feeling of completion.

"You taste like whiskey!" she muttered against his lips.

"And you are crying!"

"Thank you for pointing that out!" she didn't allow him any additional time for words, as she crashed her lips against his once again.

Passing the initial shock, their hands started to explore the others body as their urge grew stronger. Dan indicated that he wanted to lift her, and Blair automatically gave a slight jump and wrapped her legs around his waist. They were both lost in the moment; their kiss was the only real thing around them…no words needed, since their actions spoke to the other like a descriptive book. Her hands initially laid on both of his cheeks, as if that was the only thing that kept him close to her; but as the kiss intensified she started to feel more confident and she allowed her hands to seek other resting places. On the other hand, Dan was restless; still not hundred percent if what was happening was real or an alcohol induced fantasy. Either way he didn't want that moment to be over anytime soon.

He started to move slowly into his bedroom with Blair still wrapped around him. He wanted as much as a thirsty man in the desert wants water, but he would not let his urges take over him and induce him to fuck her and not to make love to her. He wanted to take his time, to indulge in the sweet torture of loving her slowly.

The bedroom was only graced by whatever light came from the outside. Dan laid Blair on the bed slowly and stood in front of her simply staring at her. Her beauty, her eyes tainted with red from crying, but also glazed with desire. Her chest raised and lowered quickly; bringing her breast into his attention, her mouth parted slightly at every breath producing the most seductive sound he had any memory of hearing. He silenced his brunette Siren with his lips, enjoying once again her taste, her warmth, and her tongue movements; however something in the back of his head made him stop. There was something that he had to tell her before they could continue.

"Blair…" he whispered softly a few seconds after breaking the kiss. She didn't mutter a word; she simply looked into his eyes and waited for him to be ready to say whatever he had to. "This time…" he found words hard to pronounce, he felt her tense underneath him, he felt his heart beating even faster; she looked at him quizzically trying to understand where this was going to lead them, but at the same time with a comforting feeling in her chest; "…I won't back out!"

In an impulse she raised herself to lock her lips in his. Tears started to roll down her cheek, very Blair-unlike, but her chest was crushed with love.

"I love you." Blair whispered into his lips.

Dan moved away from her as if a jolt had hit him. He just looked at her with an expression of both confusion and surprise. She had seen this expression before…when she first called him "Dan".

"What?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"You said you loved me."

"I did…I love you…" Dan didn't give her any more room for words; he crashed his lips on hers with a gentle force that made her lie in bed with him atop. It was the sweetest kiss that they had ever shared, slow and gentle.

"I love you too." He said into her mouth, not breaking the kiss and he could feel her lips gesturing into a smile.

They made love that night. Slow, sweet and full of passion. She was his and he was hers, and for the first time in their history together they were both fully aware of that.

A/N: I hoped you liked this chapter…I think this marks a turn in the story and the end should be coming soon.

Sorry for the long time it took me to post it thou…I was not entirely sure how to write this chapter to be honest, some parts just had a flow to it but others were a true writer's block.

Can't wait to have your feedback J

Xoxo

-patricia