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II
When Caroline woke up it was already morning, and she felt like a truck had hit her. Her whole body hurt, but she felt alive and just then she knew he had fed her his blood.
She couldn't recollect everything that transpired between them the previous night. She remembered tidbits of their conversation, but she didn't remember the moment he fed her. It didn't matter, at least he did, still she couldn't help but wonder what had changed his mind. She had a distant memory of him saying why he had killed Carol and destroyed Tyler's life, along with nearly killing her. But everything from that point on was blurred, except for one memory: at some point last night she realized there was still humanity in Klaus. She also remembered the word 'love', but she didn't know which context it was said, or not even by whom. But it didn't matter. She was alive and that was what she should focus on.
She was yet to open her eyes, although she could feel the always ticklish and almost imperceptible feeling of sun kissing her skin, but that wasn't the only heat she caught. She could feel his presence, not far from her, but not close enough to touch her. She could even feel his eyes on her, and she wondered if she should just jump from the couch and out of the invisible barrier before he changed his mind again. But would he change his mind? He said curing her meant Tyler won – that part she remembered – but still she was alive and breathing because he went against his own word, but what did it mean? Would he change his mind again at any given time? Did he regret what he did? Would he start a vicious circle of biting and curing her until he was freed from his enchanted prison?
"Good morning, sweetheart," she heard him say. He knew she was awake, and it calmed her down a little bit. He probably knew what kind of thoughts was crossing her mind, but before either of them could say anything she heard her phone's familiar ringtone.
She tried to move fast, but she felt herself feeling dizzy and before she could hit the floor he was there, his arms holding her in place for just a couple of seconds, before her body got control of itself and she could stand without assistance. She hadn't seen him approach and she hadn't seen him walk away and lean against the couch, the opposite side of where she was standing, his back turned to her.
She blinked herself back to reality and sped away towards her purse, to retrieve her phone.
It was Elena and, unfortunately, with bad news.
Klaus listened closely and even smirked when it was clear they would need his help, even if Caroline quickly dismissed it before she left the house. But he knew she would come back and he even welcomed her temporary absence for he was tired, exhausted, completely drained from watching her almost all night while he figured out all the changes she had brought to his life. He held her against him until dawn broke in the horizon and the first rays of light invaded the Gilbert house. He knew she would wake up soon – or worse Tyler could come back – and he didn't want anyone to see him holding her as if his life depended on hers. And ironically it did.
His mind had been consumed with all kind of thoughts and possibilities as he felt the forbidden room of his soul being slowly demolished. He knew in no time all those emotions would come back to haunt him and he feared for his sanity. There was no way he would survive dealing with everything he had ignored for a thousand years.
But the worst – and most terrifying – emotion that had started creeping in was hope. The only reason why he made it so long was because he was completely and utterly hopeless. The only hope – although it was more like an obsession – he allowed himself to have through the centuries was breaking his curse and creating his kingdom. Most people thought he wanted to create an army. He was the most powerful creature in the world and except for that one stake that was currently in the wrong hands – nothing could kill him, why would he need an army? Surely someone could behead him or rip his heart off of his chest and he'd be dead, but that was where the wisdom that came from running from his father for so long entered. He learned how to be not only one, but several steps ahead of everyone else. He knew the moments when he would impose his presence – and superiority – to the supernatural world and he knew when go under the radar. All ancient creatures, walking on this earth for longer than a couple of centuries, had heard of him. Though only a few had ever seen he allowed himself to mingle among humans after he killed Katerina's family; until the end of the eighteenth century he made some subtle moves to prove he was of course still alive. But mostly nobody heard from him except Elijah – before Katerina – and Rebekah. But even as he ran from Mikael, he had been able to help to found the Vieux Carré in New Orleans, the place where he spent more time than anywhere else. His second home.
Despite running from his father, he had never wanted an army – though he would have used his hybrids as one against Mikael. He wanted comrades, creatures that were like him that he could relate to. And Caroline was once again right when she assessed his problem was his inability to connect with people. How could he connect and expose himself to people he couldn't trust? He expected his hybrids to be loyal to him, to be thankful for him for releasing them from the curse of the moon, from the painful and unpredictable transformations during full moon. The sire bond was just icing the cake – as he truly didn't expect his creations to be that faithful to him – but it soon proved to be fallible as well. He was still the bad guy in everyone's eyes and there would never be someone really loyal to him, someone he didn't have to fear being betrayed by. He was forever alone, even if he had Elijah and Rebekah.
That was why having hope was pointless and even harmful. It would only lead him to disappointment, betrayal and pain, and that was why he didn't dare feel it, but her words – Caroline's words – kept hammering in his head. Could he really be saved? Could he have the same thing she had with her friends and family? Could he ever be allowed to dream? That was why he wanted to know her hopes and dreams so much. He had never had that until she entered his life. He remembered the night of the twenty's dance. Perhaps one day, maybe in a year or even in a century, you'll turn up at my door.He should have recognized that as the first sign that something was changing. He shouldn't hope her to ever look for him. She wouldn't and time and time again she proved it. But even as he fought against it, he still dreamed about it.
And as just he expected she came back – but unfortunately she brought little Brutus with her. They had found the sword, and she even amused him explaining to her uncouth boyfriend what a criptex was and how it worked, and even what Aramaic was. She was definitely more than a pretty face, and of course he couldn't resist teasing her about one of the dozens of languages he knew fluently. Maybe it would make she realize that she deserved much more than a boy who hadn't ever heard of a language such as the old Hebrew dialect.
And as he decoded the message in the tattoo and sword, he felt at least more relieved about the whole cure thing. There was only one dose of it and he knew between killing him and making Elena human again, the Salvatores – and the rest of the gang – would choose to give it to doppelganger. But he had different plans and he didn't waste his chance when Tyler and Caroline called Rebekah. If anyone should have the cure it would be his sister and he would prove her wrong about her earlier statements while Elena and Caroline were talking on the phone. If she wanted to live and die and go through all the rubbish human life granted, it was her choice and he would do his best to give it to her.
"Hello," he heard his sister's voice
"Hey, it's Caroline. We have the translation of the tattoo. We're emailing pictures of the map and instructions right now," Caroline said to the female Original.
"Got it, thanks," Rebekah said after she saw the new message in her inbox.
"Actually, it was me," Klaus said from the living room.
"Like you helped?" Rebekah frowned.
"You sound so surprised, little sister,"
"Shouldn't I be? You don't want me to be human, you don't want any of us to be human. Why would you help us find the cure?"
"Maybe I finally realized the longer I stand in the way of what you want the longer you'll continue hate me. Perhaps I want my sister to finally know happiness," he offered, and just like Rebekah across the world, Caroline felt surprised by the words. She didn't show her shock, but those words had been totally unexpected.
"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me a hundred times,"
"No more fooling, no more games," he changed his tone of voice, "I hope you get to live and die, as you wish," Caroline watched him closely, trying to decipher something that proved to be more challenged that biblical dead languages. It could all be a trick, like Rebekah implied, but there was a certain amount of sadness when he admitted he would agree let his sister to live and die.
"So do I," Rebekah, unlike Caroline, couldn't cover her surprise.
"There's one more thing, Rebekah…" he started and Caroline and Tyler exchanged a look trying to imagine what else he could say.
"There's only one dose of the cure, you need to find it first and take it, it's the only way you…" he explained, but stopped short when Tyler quickly hang up on his sister.
Klaus raised his arms mockingly at both teenagers, while smirking victoriously.
"We should have hanged up after we sent her the e-mail," Caroline said annoyed and frustrated with her naivety.
"That you should, sweetheart. If anyone is going to be human again, I'll make sure that's my sister," he offered as he lied on the couch, his arms under his head.
"We all know it has nothing to do with finally giving your sister what she wants, but everything to do with you getting rid of the one thing that could allow us to kill you without killing all of us in the process," Tyler offered as he walked to the invisible barrier, making sure he was outside of it.
"And do you really think that with Elena there, the Salvatore brothers, the witch or little Gilbert would use the cure on anyone else but the precious doppelganger?"
"And if she was human it would make it all much easier for you to follow up on your revenge on the Gilberts for killing your brother, and I'm sure Elena will do everything in her power to protect Jeremy from you and as you just said, the Salvatores, Bonnie and Jeremy will do everything they can for Elena, killing you still looks like the better scenario," Tyler crossed his arms, smirking cockily.
"And do you really think Rebekah and Elijah would allow them to live another day after they killed not only one, but two of their brothers? There's only one cure, they can get rid of only one Original and trust me, little orphan, we may have a funny way to show it, but we won't allow anyone to touch our family. We deal with our business, nobody else. So maybe you're right and if they somehow get to the cure before Rebekah, they'll decide against using it on Elena, and offer it to me as a bid for my forgiveness for what they did to Kol. But let me tell you one secret. I don't believe in forgiveness and nothing will stop me from avenging my brother, just like you'll pay for coming here gloating and planning my dismissal," Klaus offered before he closed his eyes, while Caroline looked panicked at her boyfriend, who stormed out of the house.
"Every time I think I have it, the son of a bitch gets the upper hand," Tyler offered exasperatedly.
"We won't let him hurt you. Stefan and Elena will bring back the cure,"
"If they get to it first, and if they don't, Klaus kills me. I need to get of the town and figure out how I'm going to stay alive,"
"Hang on, okay, just before you go doom state. At least let me try talking to him,"
"He's got nothing to lose, Care. His brother is dead, his hybrids are gone, and all he wants right now is blood, starting with mine,"
"I'm not going to say goodbye to you again, do you understand me?"
"Let me fix this," she asked, and he nodded. He knew his chances were slim and his best shot was her. If Klaus had kept her alive, maybe there was a chance he would let him off of the hook if Caroline asked. If it meant Caroline would forgive or at least overlook his past actions and Tyler wondered for a moment which scenario was worse.
Caroline didn't remember most of the things she had said the night before, and that had somehow saved her life, but she hoped her brain had it registered somewhere in her subconscious and would try to make the same reasoning. She would do everything in her power to make sure her boyfriend lived, as well as her best friend.
But several minutes passed no action plan actually came to her mind, while she stayed outside with her boyfriend.
"I'll do my best," she offered, knowing they couldn't waste any more time.
"I love you," he offered, and she nodded, kissing him lightly on the lips.
"I love you, too. Everything will be okay, trust me," she offered confidently before she entered the house.
"You can't kill Tyler," she offered the moment she saw him sitting in an armchair.
"Not only can I, but I have to. I have a reputation to uphold. Moreover I want to," he said without a glimpse of remorse, instead seemingly taking pleasure on that.
"I'm not asking you to forgive him. All I'm asking is to let him live, somewhere far from here,"
"So he gets to lead a happy life, after he turned all my hybrids against me? After he tried to kill me? After he made his life's mission to find the cure so he could use it against me?"
"We all want the cure,"
"Do we?" he challenged.
But she couldn't answer him.
"Do you?" he whispered.
"It doesn't matter, there's only one, it's not like I'm going to get it anyway,"
"But if you could?" he asked before he saw the reluctance on her face. Not reluctance about what she would do, but if she should tell him, admit it out loud.
"You wouldn't, would you?" he offered with a small smile.
"You prefer who you are now to the girl you once were. You like being strong, ageless, fearless," he stated, taking pleasure and finally see the truth behind Caroline Forbes.
He took a step forward to the limit of where the barrier allowed him to go, and standing just a few inches away from her he could read it in her eyes. "We're the same, Caroline," he offered.
"Then show me," she challenged.
"You know how much I love Tyler. You can see how scared I am to lose him. If you and I are so similar then show me compassion. Show him the mercy I would show you," her emotions and fears rising to the surface, showing how much she indeed loved the boy outside.
"Mercy… for Tyler…" he said looking deep in her eyes. "Very well. Tell him to leave town immediately," he turned away and walked away from her.
"And tell him to run and hide in a place I will never find him," the turned to look at her again, rage clear in his demeanor.
"Of course," she offered, not believing he actually agreed to let Tyler live, not believing it hadn't been that hard as she first imagined. It seemed surreal and suddenly words from the previous night flashed in her mind. "I know that you're in love with me, and anyone capable of love is capable of being saved,"
"Tell him this is the mercy I extend for you sake," he approached the barrier again, watching as she gathered her personal stuff. "That I will give him a head start, before I kill him," he smirked pleasingly, as the small smile on Caroline's face dropped. Yet again she allowed herself to expect the best from him and once again he proved her that she was hoping against odds, against hope.
Their eyes locked for a while, and although he could see how he was just breaking her again, he had to stay true to who he really was. He was already facing a battle with all the feelings burning his soul. Feelings prompted by loving her. He had to hold onto any resemblance of who he was; of who he had to be in order to survive. It was either killing Tyler or finding himself being vulnerable to something in 800 years. Being vulnerable to the one thing that could destroy him: himself.
For a long while Caroline simply sat on the swing. She couldn't move. Despite her best efforts, despite her best attempts, her boyfriend, the guy she was in love with had to say goodbye to her yet again. She wasn't ready when they did it the first time, or the second, and their farewell didn't make it any better than it had been in the past. It was still the same feeling. A pain was consuming her insides like a fire, destroying everything in a devastating torture. Her world was falling, and she didn't find strength to even more from where she was sitting, let alone move on with her life. She had made him promise he would live his life and forget all about herself, but what was she supposed to do? How did she continue to life her life? How was she supposed to lead a happy life? It wasn't simply because the boy she was in love with had to left.
It was the epitome of her life. Never first, never enough, never happy, never normal. She had no doubts most of those things were true when it come to her now estranged boyfriend. She was the first – and now the only – for him, more than enough and they were happy. But even when she had finally found herself to prove that she wasn't destined to a life that would reward her with the small, but primordial, things she wanted. She had lost her father, she had lost some of her friends, she had lost her boyfriend and she had lost herself.
She looked towards the window, but she couldn't see the man inside. His words came back to her. We're the same. You like being strong, ageless, fearless. She liked who she was now, but it had never been her choice. Even her own life had become a choice someone else did for her. Just like her father had decided she shouldn't be a vampire, or when Damon decided she should be his play thing, or when her friends and boyfriends decided that they could use Klaus' likeness to her in their favor. Of course she would have never agreed with being compelled by Damon or being turned by Katherine. The same way she would have chosen to help her friends, no matter what she had to do with and for Klaus. The same way she would have agreed with her father to try to destroy the beast she was and maybe keep her humanity intact. But that wasn't the point, that wasn't what hurt, that wasn't what made Caroline feel like she shouldn't have any dreams and hopes about her future. It was the way there was always someone else deciding what her life would be. Deciding she should leave city, so the council wouldn't kill her. Deciding she would never have the cure, because there were more important things than her becoming human again. Deciding if she agreed or not with trying to fool Klaus yet again and break the sire bond. Deciding if her boyfriend should stay, and die trying to survive or simply flee hoping that he would be able to put as much distance between him and his enemy.
It didn't matter if it was her father, her friends, her boyfriend, her enemies or even life itself, Caroline was just tired. What was the point of making plans about the future, of holding hope that she and Tyler would find a way, if undoubtedly something would get in the way of destroying her dreams? What was the point of living forever if she couldn't keep what really matter? If the life she lived wasn't going to be the one she dreamed of?
There was no point, but there was also no suicidal bone in her body, so she simply resigned. She simply accepted that she was one of those people that wouldn't have a saying, that wouldn't prevent things like those from happening. But at least she was comfortable in her skin. At least now she was fearless and he was right. She liked it because if she was convinced that there would be no hope and dreams in her future, she was also absolutely sure that she would make it and she would fight with her last breath if she needed, but she would live.
Taking yet another look inside the house as she stood up, she could see him lying in the couch, lost in his thoughts. And after everything he did and every pain he brought, she looked at him and all she could see was loneliness, was someone lost in the immensity of his eternal life, and the pain of having every of his plans destroyed and all of his frustrations. Someone that had long ago learned what she was now discovering. They were in the wrong side of life and for the first time since she'd met Klaus Mikaelson she didn't hate or despised him. She didn't fight with herself against the contradictory things he had done since he entered their lives. No, for the first time since she had met him Caroline related to him and she could finally understand that indeed, they were the same.
AN: Here is chapter two. Can I say I'm disappointed with the feedback I've got for this? But I'm not backing away. This is a story I want to tell so much, even if nobody reviews, I'll tell it.
Also, Caroline saw a new light of Klaus when she realized something about her life. She related to him, but that was the only thing she acknowledged. She feels more for him and we'll see her journey figuring it out as much as we'll see his trying to repress what he already knows he feels.
From this point on I don't plan to re-write any of the show's scenes. I'm not taking the friendship route here, but there will be some external events that might get repeated here.
Huge thanks for the few of you who reviewed and to my new beta, Elena, who is a sweetheart.
xx