Eridan woke up in the chair. He'd written for a few hours about how he would kill Sollux. He thought that the most poetic way would to be to hook him into machines and let him power them until he died. It was implausible, but wasn't the whole thing a fantasy anyway? He looked at the sketches next to what he'd written. He was rather proud of them, but the whole thing made him wonder what was wrong with him. He looked over at the couch. Sollux was still there. It didn't look like he'd moved since he'd fallen asleep in that damnable chair.

"Hey, Sol. You still workin' on that same piece a shit from last night?"

Solloux didn't look away from his screen. "Fuck you."

"I'll take that as a yes." He stood and stretched.

"So how fucking long are you going to be here?"

"As long as I can, you foul smellin' peasant. Are you gonna sit there and fill up the room with your putrid odor for much longer?"

"As long as it takes to get rid of your bifocal-ed ass."

"These aren't bifocals you stupid piece a shit!"

"I know. But bifurcation is what I do."

"Which is why you've bifurcated your social life by stayin' indoors and doin' jack shit?"

"Hey at least I have a social life. You look like you've never even had a girlfriend in your, what? Sixteen years of pathetic, self-obsessed solitude."

Eridan frowned at the accuracy of that statement. "I'll have you know I just turned seventeen last month."

Sollux laughed, bitingly. "And that's the only part of that you deny. See? I had you pegged and I've spoken to you once."

"I'm sure you haven't had a girlfriend either!"

He looked up from his screen and looked right at him. "I'll have you know that I am actually a lady killer, you shit stained purple streak."

"Yeah, you kill them just by lookin' at them with your emaciated visage."

"Oh look he knows the big words. Someone give this kid an award!" He threw his hands in the air, like he was praising a god. "Do you hear me word gods? Let's give the kid a cookie and watch him do a little dance!"

Eridan stood and walked over to Sollux, crossing his arms as he stood above him. "You wanna go, you mouth breathin' troglodyte?"

Sollux set his laptop aside. "You really want to do this? You want to try and take me? I'll have you know that I am trained in the subtle arts of ass kicking."

"Oh I'm sure you are. In World of Warcraft."

"You wanna bet?"

"I'll bet you hit like a quadriplegic."

Sollux stood up and stared at Eridan. "I will defeat you in the most humiliating way I can imagine if you really want me to do this."

Eridan narrowed his eyes. "Bring it on. I'm not afraid of your skinny ass."

Sollux moved closer to Eridan. "Oh you're not?"

He leaned forward a little. "Nope."

Sollux smirked. "So are you trying to fight me or kiss me here?"

Eridan's face flushed. "I don't know what you're tryin' to insinuate."

He leaned forward, inches from Eridan and grinning. "I'm insinuating that maybe you haven't had a girlfriend for more than your shitty fashion sense."

He looked down at the man's mouth and saw a gleam of metal. "Do you have fuckin' braces? Are you sure you're in college?"

Sollux leaned back and regained his poker face quickly. "You really are an asshole."

"So are you." Suddenly, they heard thumping coming from Cronus's room. Eridan frowned. "How long are they goin' to be like that, do you know?"

"They've been goin' at it pretty constantly since January."

"Ugh, so I won't be gettin' any sleep then."

"Not unless you find some sad sack to take you in."

Eridan pouted at Sollux. "Would you take me in?"

"You don't even fucking know me."

"I know, but you look like the kind a guy who would take in a sad lost puppy."

"Fuck you."

He shrugged, dropping into pure Ampora business mode. "Okay I'm gonna cut the crap here and get to fuckin' business. You're poor. I can smell it on you. So, I will give you as much money as you want within reason to be able to get out a this lounge to somewhere that I could sleep without havin' to listen to," a moan came from his brother's room, "that indefinitely."

"I don't know. I think I really fucking hate you."

He frowned. "Fine. I'll text my friend instead. Maybe he'll let me stay with him. He was goin' here last I checked."

Sollux shrugged. "Whatever, loser, I'm getting out of here before those two knock the walls down. Have fun listening to this. Maybe you can go beat off in the bathroom if nothing else helps you off to dreamland."

"You piece a shit."

"Later sucker." And with that Sollux grabbed his laptop and bag, and left the room.

Eridan grabbed his headphones out of his bag and started to listen to some Modest Mouse while he texted his friend.

kar i got a problem

YES YOU DO, YOU USELESS TAINT LICKING FUCK. IT'S FIVE IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND YOU ARE TEXTING ME ABOUT YOUR "PROBLEMS."

yeah but kar your up

THAT'S IRRELEVANT, PUKE SACK. I AM TOO TIRED TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT TODAY.

but kar im in towwn an my brother is fuckin someone an i need a place to stay

OH YES BY ALL MEANS COME TO MY ROOM. I'LL HAVE A CHEESE TRAY WAITING FOR YOU. TELL ME, DO YOU PREFER RED OR BLACK CAVIER? I WANT TO BE PREPARED FOR YOUR FUCKING WAKE.

kar im serious here i really need a place to stay

ERIDAN I LIVE WITH THREE OTHER GUYS. WE DON'T HAVE FUCKING ROOM FOR A WHINY LITTLE RICH BOY WITH DADDY ISSUES AND A BROTHER COMPLEX.

i dont like wwhat your insinuatin here kar an come on i really need a place to stay for the next wweek or so

THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING YOU CAN SAY THAT WILL CONVINCE ME TO LET YOU STAY WITH ME.

i can pay you kar i can pay you a lot a money

...HOW MUCH MONEY.

a wwhole fuckin lot kar

GET OVER HERE. I'M IN THE PROSPIT SUITES. FIRST FLOOR. ROOM 120A.

kar you gotta let me in

WELL THEN YOU SHOULD BE SURE TO MOVE FAST. I'M NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU FOREVER, YOU STUPID FUCKIN ANGRY PENGUIN.

kar your losin your insultin edge wwith that one I think

FUCK YOU. YOU'RE LUCKY I'M SO FUCKING POOR. GET HERE. NOW.

thanks kar

Eridan grabbed his things and walked quietly through his brother's room, trying to ignore the grunts and the moans as he left. Sometimes, as much as he loved his brother, he really hated him. He walked out of the faded violet Derse suites and toward the Prospit suites. They were identical to the suites he'd just left except for the dull yellow facade. He looked for a doorway and spotted one with a familiar short figure in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest and shoulders hunched.

He waved at him and the figure just flipped him the bird. It was definitely him. When he got to the door, it was already open and he just smiled. "Thanks, Kar. You're the best."

"You know I fucking am you shit munching fuck. Come with me. We have money matters to discuss." They walked into room 120A, labeled in angry red letters with KARKAT and below, in neatly written blue letters, EQUIUS. On one side of the room, there were oil paintings on the walls and scattered electronics on a desk, while on the other there were books scattered and a collection of horrible romcoms that Eridan had been forced far too many times to watch. "Now then, Eridan. Let's talk cash."

"I can give you $1000 to let me stay here until I have to go back home."

"And how fucking long will that be? Do I have to reteach you time again?"

"It's just gonna be until next Sunday, Kar. I'm not plannin' on stayin' any longer than that. And I can pay for food until then too. Or anything else you need. I just need a place to stay."

Karkat frowned. "You know Gamzee's in the room over there, right?"

"I don't fuckin' give a shit about Gamz."

"Seriously? Even after all that shit his fucking cousin and him put your creepy fucking brother through?"

Eridan shrugged. "Cro's gotten better."

"Whatever. I just want you to know that my roommate is one creepy fucker, too."

"Kar I can deal with creeps. I grew up with Cro."

"True. Well I guess you can stay in the fucking common room."

"Really, Kar?"

"Yeah. You're giving me cash at the end of each goddamn day though. And one of my smart ass roommates might want some too."

"Oh yeah? That the creep in here?"

"No it's the skinny weird guy in Gamzee's room."

"Oh okay whatever then. Can I just get some sleep on the couch in there? I slept in a fuckin' chair for a few hours after a long fuckin' drive."

"Yeah sure. Don't mind the mess, though. We weren't exactly expecting your royal highness to show your majestic ass here any time soon."

"Thanks, Kar. If it weren't for you," his lower lip started to tremble, "if it weren't for you, I'd a been stuck listenin' to my brother fuck all week. Or homeless. I'm too fuckin' pretty to be homeless, Kar."

"Sure, Eridan. I'm going back to bed now."

"All right, I'll just be sleeping on your couch."

Eridan left without another word to Karkat. He set his things up near the couch and dressed for bed. As he fell asleep, he was glad that he wasn't left in his brother's room. That could have been awkward.