This is the land of Konoha, the Village hidden in the Leaves. And this, is the tale of a man of DESTINY! Well, a destiny, not as good as other destinies but it's still a destiny. To tell the truth, DESTINY! costs quite a lot at the shop, so that's why there is so much fodder, because their parents didn't buy a plot coupon. Anyway, this story is about DESTINY! Got that?

Good. Anyway, enough circumlocution, this is a story about a young man's DESTINY! Now, let's get on with the story proper.

It was a dark night in Konoha, and only a couple of bars were open this late, and it was in one that Sasuke Uchiha, the Last Loyal Uchiha, was getting plastered.

"Stupid Naruto… Stupid Sakura… Stupid Kakashi…" The normally aloof, cold-hearted boy was now barely seated on his barstool, barely hanging on to the bar as he vented his grievances. The other shinobi around him were placing bets on when he'd eventually fall down. The cause for the boy's anger was the fact that while he'd been knocked unconscious, Naruto had saved the Leaf by defeating Gaara in his Bijuu form, and while Naruto wasn't a hero, he had demonstrated a Summoning Jutsu that had previously belonged to the Fourth Hokage. As a result, Sasuke, in a fit of jealousy, went to the bar to get a drink. How big a drink wasn't specified.

"Stupid Naruto and his toads- I needed those toads! ALL TECHNIQUES THAT COULD KILL THAT MAN ARE MINE!" Somewhere else, Orochimaru sneezed. On the totally amazing thought that Sasuke was going down his road, he decided to send his Sound Four over to Konoha in order to corrupt the boy and then take his body. Since this fact isn't relevant, then a reader could probably ignore it. Since this fact was unknown to the other shinobi in the bar, one of the chuunin went over to the drunk boy. "Um, kid? You do realise that you're under the legal civilian limit, right?" Sasuke stared at him in a drunken stupor.
"M' old enough t' kill, so m' old enough t' drink…uggh." He leaned over and stumbled to the bathroom. As the sound of retching came from the bathroom, Chouza Akimichi, in a similarly drunken state, came up with a brilliant idea.

What would happen if he drugged the Uchihas drink? All the Uchiha had done in the bar was be a stuck up little princess, demeaning other clans for not being as strong as the Uchiha were, and when he'd gotten drunk enough, he'd badmouthed his classmates as being pathetic weaklings. Someone needed to get off their high horse, and this was going to be hilarious. He pulled a soldier pill out of his pocket, looked around, then crushed it into Sasuke's drink. Dark deed done, he staggered back to watch the fun as Sasuke returned, looking a little paler than his usual self. He staggered over to his drink and slugged it down, banging it down for more.

Sometime later…

Naruto groaned as he got up. Since the old man had died, he'd gotten completely plastered on paint thinner. Ever since he'd found out about it supposedly being toxic, he'd been careful to never offer paint-thinner to visitors again. It never mattered how much paint thinner he drank, he'd never gotten a hangover, which was probably due to the fuzzball. Before he'd known about it, he'd just assumed that hangovers were just made up by adults to stop their children drinking.

Within the seal, Kurama groaned as he suffered from a monstrous hangover, which felt like he was being separated from the Jyuubi again. It was all the fault of his Jinchuuruki, who drank like a fish, and while being drunk was pleasant, the aftereffects certainly weren't.

"You FUCKING ASSHOLE!"

Naruto, meanwhile, pleasantly stretched, and went over to his kitchen to get some ramen for breakfast. As he did so, he then noticed where he was exactly. The bedroom was much higher in class than it was normally, which was less 'bedroom,' and more 'barely better than a slum.' Sure, he kept his room clean, but he certainly didn't have any paint on his walls, because he'd eaten it when he was younger. Or pictures of himself, because that was what perverts like Sasuke-teme did- they put pictures of themselves all around their rooms and then thought they were the greatest thing since painting the Hokage monument in broad daylight.. Pictures of himself in the shower… Naruto reached the logical conclusion with all this evidence. High-class, pictures on the wall…

Oh God, Konohamaru's gay for me. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh-

"Hinata-sama, your breakfast is- Oh my." One of those Hyuuga people with the weird eyes had just opened the door and was standing frozen in shock, looking down. Naruto did so, and realised that he was completely naked. He grinned sheepishly at her, then preformed a basic Henge of himself with clothes. No use, still shocked. Then he remembered that the Hyuuga could see through the Henge. He took a couple of deep breaths. At least, things couldn't get any worse.

"Oh… good morning, Naruto-kun." Gulping, he turned around to the bed.

It was a nice traditional bed, with lilac linen and a white undersheet. In there was…

"Oh, Hinata-chan." He sighed in relief. At least it wasn't Konohamaru. She sighed at him.

"You were… so gentle, Naruto-kun. I had a really good time last night." He stared at her with the eyes of a damned man, already searching for an escape. Well, things couldn't get worse for him now.

At that thought, Neji and Hinata's father barged in, Byakugan active, into her room, where they then stood, mouths agape at Naruto. Naruto then realised that things HAD gotten worse. As Neji and the other guy got over their shock, Naruto silently began to cry.

What had he done?

Meanwhile, Sasuke awoke. Unlike Naruto, he had only bought the best sake, and had drunk ridiculous quantities. As a result, he was suffering from the mother of all hangovers. The veins in his eyes had coloured his eyes an unhealthy shade of pink, and his hair was mussed up ridiculously. As he blearily looked around his room, he got up, and wished he hadn't. It felt like he'd just dunked his eyes in the inextinguishable flames of Madara's Amaterasu. The sun was so bright, and the sound of him moving out of bed felt like Naruto was playing a brass band in his head. So he got up, and tried to step as quietly as possible so that he could get into his shower, clean himself up, and then eat something.

Why did I drink so much again? When he thought of that, a nasty memory of his anger over the Dobe's toads surfaced.

Oh yeah, that's right. Dobe, this is all your fault. If you didn't have that summoning contract, then I wouldn't have had to drink to forget that you had that summoning contract. Clearly, I'm going to beat you up for this. His stomach gave a lurch, and he staggered over to the toilet to vomit. As he vomited, he failed to notice an old man covered in bandages run out at surprising speed, covering himself with his hand.

Eventually, Sasuke rose, wiping his mouth and feeling a little bit better. Walking over to the kitchen, he grabbed a glass and filled it with water at the tap, then drank it down slowly, trying to remember what he'd done last night. Normally, he had an amazing memory, but now, he couldn't remember, maybe it was due to the alcohol. All he remembered was going to the bathroom and drinking again.

Okay, what did I do last night?