Thank you all for reading. I hope I have answered every reviewer in a pm, if I have missed anyone, it was not on purpose. I really greatly appreciate every reader, and also everyone who takes the time to post a review.

A very special big thank you again to my two incredible betas. Cokie316 and Sherry57. YOU are the best. Sometimes I feel like I totally monopolize your time. Thank you for not telling me to shut up. Yet. LOL

Purple Heart – Chapter 11

Steve felt like he was about to hurl, which would be a really bad idea considering that he was not even really awake.

He tried to emerge from the fog that was wading through his brain, but there was nothing that would guide him. He felt lost and confused. Adding to that was the severe vertigo he was experiencing. Steve was pretty sure that he was lying on a stable bed, but he felt like he was free-falling. A completely out of control, endless free-fall.

"Lieutenant!"

"Urgh." Steve was glad to finally have something to concentrate on. Maybe if he followed the voice he would be able to leave the haze behind.

"Come on, McGarrett, open your eyes."

That voice was pretty insistent. And loud. Way too loud. Steve winced when the noise caused the hammering in his head to spike up a notch.

"Lieutenant, as soon as you open your eyes I can give you something for the pain."

That voice really shouldn't have mentioned pain. As soon as his brain registered the word he became aware of the severe pain in his right leg. Steve was sure he groaned rather pitifully. But the pain also helped him become more alert.

Steve blinked his eyes and tried to get the scene in front of him into focus. Not an easy task with watering eyes.

He tried to grab his hurting leg, but was stopped by a hand holding onto his arm.

"Argh, please…" Steve pleaded, trying to take a deep breath to clear the lingering fog from his head. Not only were his thought processes clouded, but he needed to overcome the extreme nerve pain in his leg.

He heard something about morphine and an IV, and was grateful when the medication worked almost instantly.

The ungodly pain receded to a more bearable level and he started to relax due to the relief the drug brought him.

"Thank you," Steve whispered and finally managed to focus on the scene in front of him.

"Lieutenant, nice to see you back," an Army Captain he never saw before said.

"Uh, what happened?"

"What's the last you remember?" The doctor asked him.

Steve thought that was a really good question, one he wasn't sure he had an answer to. He looked around the room he was in and realized he was actually in a trauma bay in the ER at Walter Reed.

"McGarrett?"

"Sorry. Ehm, I'm not really sure. I was in the office?" Steve answered and voiced it as a question. He was not quite sure what had happened after he was introduced to Ensign Lane.

"Yeah, you were. You passed out. Any memory about that?"

"No?"

"You don't remember that you talked to the EMTs?"

"Ah… no."

"Well, that is not unusual."

That might be, but Steve still found it rather disturbing not remembering what had happened.

"Memory loss is very common in cases like yours," the doctor told him as he scribbled something in the file he was holding. "You don't have to worry about it."

"Cases like mine? I don't understand, and why did my leg hurt so much?" Steve touched his outstretched leg and could feel it trembling. The pain was now dulled by the drugs but it still lurked in the background.

"Colonel Adams will tell you all about it. He will be here in a few minutes, Lieutenant. Try to relax, you will be fine."

"Can't you…" Steve started to ask, but the captain was already on his way out and left the rather confused Steve to his own devices.

That at least gave him time to take stock of his body, now that he was really awake and alert. He now realized that he was undressed and only covered with a light sheet. He started to get cold and wondered where his clothes were. Steve knew of course that it was standard procedure to completely undress an unconscious person coming to the ER. But it still pissed him off that he was stuck in the hospital for now. He could hardly walk out of here without anything on.

Besides he felt way too tired to even entertain the idea of walking out of here right now. If he could walk that was. Not much of walking going on with him lately, Steve thought. And of course he had no desire to experience the kind of pain again he had before he got the good drugs. He needed to talk to his doctor about what had brought that on. And of course he needed to find out why he had passed out.

Catherine. Oh fuck. He thought about the lieutenant and hoped she didn't freak out about this. Steve thought she didn't seem a person that would lose it, but still he felt bad to have passed out in her office.

His musings were interrupted by a nurse coming into the trauma bay. "Lieutenant, I'm sorry, Colonel Adams was called to an emergency. He will come see you in your room."

"My room? I have to stay?" Steve was not happy with that development.

"Oh, absolutely," the nurse told him with a smile. "I'm here to get you ready to transfer you to your room. Colonel Adams wants some more tests done, so I'm afraid I have to take some blood samples and I brought a cup you need to fill for me." She handed Steve a small specimen cup.

Steve took the cup and looked at her. "What, right now?"

"If you don't mind," she answered as she took the bag with saline from the hook and exchanged it with a new one. "Unless you can't right now?"

Steve actually had to pee, but he for sure didn't want to do it while lying in bed with a nurse standing right next to the bed. "Uhm, can't it wait until I'm in my room?"

"I think that should be fine." The nurse took pity on him and smiled. "An orderly will take you up to your room in a few minutes. I'm just going to draw the blood and then you should be on your way."

"Thank you."

Half an hour later Steve was brought to a room on the fourth floor, and was ordered not to leave the bed until Colonel Adams had spoken to him. But at least one of the nurses gave him sweatpants and a tee-shirt to wear. The older nurse helped him put on underwear and the sweats, and disconnected the IV, so he could put the shirt on.

When he was dressed he was totally drained, and lay back on his bed.

"Before you go to sleep, I still need the sample," Maggie reminded him with a friendly smile and held the urinal out to him.

"Right. Uhm…"

Maggie rolled her eyes at him, but turned around.

It's not like she hadn't just seen him naked, but that didn't mean he could pee with her watching. It took another couple of minutes until Maggie was satisfied with everything and left him alone. Two minutes later he was sound asleep on the bed.

H50 – H50 – H50

Catherine was rather surprised when she entered Steve's hospital room late Monday afternoon. Steve was sitting on his bed and grinned at her when he waved her in.

"Steve, so good to see you looking well again," Cath greeted her new friend.

"Hi, Catherine. Thanks for coming by."

"Of course I'd come by; you had me worried. Are you okay?" Cath asked and leaned in for a sweet kiss.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Told you I'd be okay."

"Right. Just before you passed out. That was really reassuring ."

Steve had the decency to at least blush at that. "Uhm, yeah, well…"

"What did your doctor say?"

"He was not very happy with me," Steve admitted.

"How so?"

"Well… he had told me Friday morning to take it easy over the weekend and not to engage in strenuous activity," Steve told her, still grinning. "And he was really mad that I went to PT this morning."

"Why?"

"Physical therapy was really hard today, and I didn't feel so good afterwards. I had to take a painkiller, and, well, I should have gone home. I didn't tell Amy that I had suffered a concussion and kind of a skull fracture last Thursday," Steve told her reluctantly.

"What?" Cath called out in alarm. She thought his headache on Sunday had been because of the loud noises and that he had overdone it a little, she had no idea that he had gotten hurt again.

"I fell in the Metro station, and hit my head—"

"Lieutenant, you didn't fall, you were knocked out," Dr. Adams said from the door.

Catherine stood immediately when the superior officer entered the room.

"At ease, Lieutenant Rollins. Please stay seated," Adams told her with a smile.

"Yes, Sir," Cath said as she sat back down.

"So, Lieutenant McGarrett, I take it you haven't told your friend about your adventure last week?"

"Ah…"

"Well, I guess you have something to talk about later then," the colonel said. "Now to business. I just wanted to check on you before I leave."

"Why do I have to stay, Sir? I feel fine," Steve asked his doctor, not minding that Cath was sitting right next to him.

"Because, Lieutenant, you passed out this morning and were unconscious for over an hour," Adams told him while shaking his head.

"But, Sir, that was only because I overdid it at PT, and my BP—"

"No. That was not the reason for your black out." Adams looked at Catherine as if he only now realized that he was about to discuss medical issues in front of her. "Lieutenant Rollins, would you give us a few minutes?"

"I don't mind her staying, Sir."

"Okay. McGarrett, I have already talked to your therapist, and trust me, I'm not happy with her either," Adams said and looked sternly at Steve.

"Sir, it was not her fault," Steve defended his therapist. He for sure didn't want to end up on Amy's bad side.

"Yes it was. She had the report of your re-injury. You never should have been allowed to even have PT this morning. I'm sorry I wasn't clear in explaining that to you on Friday. But she had your file and should have only done some very light exercises, if at all."

"I was fine afterwards," Steve again tried his luck.

"I highly doubt that. Lieutenant, there is no shame in admitting to be in pain. I know that your injuries are still very painful."

"Uhm…"

Adams smiled at his patient knowing that he wouldn't get more out of him about how he had been feeling this morning. "Now about why you passed out. I bet you had a really bad headache when you lay down, and that it was even increasing?"

"Uh, yeah. I thought it was because of the PT?"

"Probably from the exertion this morning, yes. Your blood pressure was extremely low when you came into the ER. How much have you had to drink in the last two days?"

"Sir, I didn't drink any alcohol."

"That's not what I meant. You were extremely dehydrated, that combined with the low blood pressure and a very low blood sugar level was what made you pass out," Adams explained to Steve and Cath. "Did you have breakfast this morning?"

"Ah, no. I can't eat before PT. I meant to have breakfast when I came to the office, but then I was called to my CO."

"Lieutenant, you made yourself pretty sick. You didn't hydrate enough, you didn't eat and you put your body through extreme physical stress," Adams said and was looking at Steve with what no one would call a happy face. "I even wonder how you made it this long and didn't pass out right after your therapy session." Colonel Adams shook his head and looked at Steve. "You have to remember that your meds for the vertigo are lowering your blood sugar levels; you have to eat regularly."

Steve thought he better not tell him that it was probably thanks to the pain killer he took shortly after his training session, that he even made it to the office.

"I didn't feel too bad until later, Sir."

"'Not too bad's a very loose term," the colonel said and smiled at Catherine who had listened to the conversation with growing concern.

"Be that as it may, we will keep you overnight." Adams raised his hand to ward off any protest and continued. "We will hydrate you with another bag of saline. Then we will do some tests in the morning, and if I'm satisfied with all of them I will release you."

"So I can go back to work tomorrow?" Steve asked in hope.

"No. You certainly can't go to work," Adams answered exasperated.

"But, Sir, I will only sit in an office and look at photos. I promise to go home if I start to feel bad."

"Lieutenant, why is it so important for you to go back to work?"

"Sir, I go nuts at home doing nothing," Steve admitted not voicing the thought that spending time with Catherine wasn't a bad thing either.

"I can understand that. You have been on sick leave for quite a while now." Adams paused for a moment, "we will see how you're doing in the morning. No promises though. Do you have any other questions?"

"No, Sir… well, um…"

"Go on. You know you can ask me anything."

"Well, yeah, I-ah, I just thought that once my leg started functioning again, the pain would get less. Did I tell you I was able to walk on it this weekend?"

The doctor set aside his chart and gave his patient a piercing look. "No, you didn't. That is excellent news; why did you not mention it?"

"It was Friday night and after everything else, it just sort of slipped my mind. But that's good news, right?"

"Of course. But I should caution you to take it easy. You shouldn't try walking by yourself Lieutenant, you could still fall and hurt yourself further."

"No, I wasn't alone…" He turned and grinned at Catherine, who smiled.

"Colonel Adams, I was with Steve. And we… well, we walked from the couch into the bedroom."

The doctor looked at the two of them. "So, may I deduce that your right leg wasn't the only part of your anatomy that was fully functional on Friday?"

Catherine blushed. As did Steve. But he couldn't wipe the satisfied grin off his face as he looked at the doctor.

Dr. Adams smiled back at them. "You do realize that you are making tremendous progress, don't you, Steve? You need to keep that in mind because I'm sure all you see are the baby steps. You're going to be fine, Lieutenant. Just hang in there. But be smart about it, OK?"

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

Colonel Adams shook his head and left the two alone.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve was happy to finally be allowed back to work. He had spent a miserable Tuesday in the hospital, after Adams had denied his release in the morning. He had slept till noon, but from then on he had been wide awake and was bored out of his mind in a matter of a couple of hours.

Later in the afternoon Cath had come by, but she had only stayed for about half an hour due to a previous appointment. So Steve had done the only thing that had made any sense, he had asked for a sleeping pill and slept for over 12 hours until early Wednesday morning.

Adams had been very pleased with him and had finally signed his release papers. Of course not without giving him a lecture first.

As if it had been his fault he had gotten hurt last Thursday.

Shaking his head at the thought, Steve wheeled out of the elevator and over to his new office. He touched the lock-pad, but without any luck. His prints were obviously not in the system yet.

He knocked on the thick milky glass door and waited to be let in. But after a few moments without anything happening and not hearing anything from inside the office it was clear his new colleagues were not in.

Steve thought for a moment what to do and then decided to go see Peter first. He had to clean out his desk anyway.

Ten minutes later he looked at all the stuff that had cluttered his desk drawer in just the few short weeks he had occupied his desk.

Very prominent in there was the small box with the Purple Heart Captain Wilde had awarded him two weeks earlier. Steve was thankful that they hadn't made a big deal out of it. It had just been a really small ceremony in Commander Brennan's office. Captain Wilde from public affairs had presented the medal to him, and that had been it.

"You still have it in your desk?" Peter asked him when he saw the box in Steve's hand.

"It's as good a place as any," Steve said absent mindedly.

"You were awarded that for a reason, you know!" Peter sounded almost angry and his tone made Steve look up.

"I didn't do anything to 'earn' this. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"No! Every time you put on your uniform you are ready to die for it, and you actually almost did—"

"I didn't mean to belittle that in any way. You know that. I wear my uniform with pride and I do appreciate this honor," Steve said and held up the box with his Purple Heart in it. "It's just that I don't feel like I accomplished anything to earn it. This medal should be awarded to wounded or killed soldiers for their sacrifice, but somehow I feel this was my own fault," Steve admitted.

He had thought about that day quite a lot, and he always thought he had somehow missed something. That he should have seen it coming.

"Steve, that is just ridiculous. You can't blame yourself for it," his teammate for the last few weeks told him.

"I know, but I just… I got away really lucky, you know?"

"Well, looking at you right now, you don't seem so lucky," Peter told him shaking his head.

"Believe me, I am."

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve had put all his belongings in a box and was now wheeling back to his new office, in the hope that Catherine and Dana were back in.

He had wondered for a moment where they had been. And he asked himself if he should have told them beforehand that he would be back to work today.

Before he came to work this morning he had a lengthy phone conversation with his CO, who told him what he was allowed to disclose and what had to stay classified. Now he at least knew what he could talk to Catherine about. And what questions would stay unanswered.

"Lieutenant!"

Steve turned when he heard Catherine calling him. She and Ensign Lane were just stepping out the second elevator.

"Hi," Steve greeted them smiling.

"We didn't expect to see you today," Cath said as she came closer.

"Yeah, well, I was released this morning and Adams said I could come to work. So, here I am. Hope that is not a problem?"

"No, of course not. We're happy to have you," Catherine assured him with a smile.

"I hope you're feeling better, Sir." Ensign Lane greeted him.

"Yes, thank you I do. I'm sorry for all the drama on Monday." Steve knew that is must have been a bit of a shock to come back to the office and finding him unconscious and surrounded by EMTs.

"Glad you're feeling okay, Sir."

"It's Steve, remember?" He told her and turned to Catherine, following her through the now open door. "I talked to my CO, and he cleared me to answer most of your questions."

Steve moved over to his new desk and deposited his box there. He turned around and watched Catherine and Dana doing the same with the two boxes they were carrying.

"What's in the boxes?"

"This is new material we are supposed to screen for hints. I'm not sure yet what it is about or what dates it covers."

"Is that what you normally do, you go through… what are they… pictures?" Steve had no idea what they were really doing so his question was not just out of curiosity; he really wanted to know what kind of information they were talking about.

"Pictures, satellite images, infrared images, witness reports, maps, video surveillance, all sorts of Intel actually. First we need to sort them by date, and then by location," Catherine explained while she put one of the boxes on the floor behind her desk, next to a dozen other boxes. "After we are done with that we go through them day by day. Sometimes a specific day or even a complete box is marked as urgent, like this one." Cath showed him the big red stamp URGENT on the side of the box. "We go through those first."

"So, you spend your day pretty much with looking at pictures and stuff?" Steve asked and again thought that was not even remotely close to what he had been doing out in the field.

"I didn't mean to offend you, you know?"

"What?" Steve looked at Catherine, not sure what she meant.

"In Brennan's office when I said that we're doing the same as you guys, just from behind a desk? I didn't mean to—"

"No, that's okay, Catherine. Really." Steve didn't mean for her to feel bad and hoped he didn't give her any reason to think that he was offended by her remark two days ago. "Your job is very different from how we are gathering Intel, but the end result, getting the information, is the same. It's okay, I know what you meant."

"I know doing the job 'out there' is a lot more dangerous than in here, but I believe this is also important."

"Yes it is," Steve told her. And he meant it. He had looked into Rollins' file and knew that she had served a tour in Kabul. He couldn't find out what she did there and if she had seen any 'action', but it at least meant she had not always been sitting behind a desk.

"So, are you ready to dive in?"

"Yeah, let's start. I might need to leave early though, I'm only cleared for light duty," Steve told her honestly. He hoped that he wouldn't get a headache after a couple of hours of reading, and that he could stay a whole day. Even though that was not what Adams meant with taking it easy. But he was so sick of not being able to work a full day. He was just sick of being sick to put it mildly.

"Okay, you want pictures, reports, or…" She pulled a plastic bag out of the box and added, "We also have video. At least I think that's what's on the flash drives," Cath said as she held up the bag with the six flash drives.

"I'll take the video if that's okay." Watching a video was a lot easier than reading, and doing that would prevent him from getting one of the debilitating headaches.

"Yeah, sure. Dana, you want to take the reports?" Cath knew that her young colleague liked reading a lot more than looking through hundreds of pictures.

"Yes, thank you."

All three of them took their chosen part of the material and went to work on it. Steve sat in front of the high tech computer with a huge screen in front of him. It was almost too big to sit this close. It was one of the new high definition screens, and for a moment he wondered why this office was so well equipped.

He put in the flash drive and waited for the hardware recognition. He only had to wait a moment and a menu popped up with the screen to enter his log-in. After entering his password Steve was directed to a file system with more files than he imagined could be on one of the drives. Looking at all that he wondered if he had spoken too soon about not getting a headache. Just looking at the sheer volume of the files made his head hurt.

One file caught his attention right away; it was from the day he got injured. He double clicked it and saw a dusty scene with someone being prepared to be loaded into a chopper. The scene was obviously from one of the action cams they had on their helmets.

Steve paused the film and wheeled back from the computer, he wasn't sure if he was ready to watch it.

"Steve, are you okay?" Catherine asked him.

"There is…," Steve started to say, but stopped and motioned to the screen instead.

"What?" Cath asked and went over to his desk to take a look at what had her friend spooked. She looked at the crystal clear picture and took in the helicopter, the dust that covered everything, the people bent over a figure lying on the ground, obviously injured and treated by medics.

"That's me."

H50 – H50 – H50

Please don't hate me for the tiny cliffhanger. ;-)