CHAPTER 2: WONDERINGS

"Here's a piece for you, Barret. You get the breast." Cloud winked, placing a bit of turkey onto Barret's plate.

"Hey! Shouldn't we be focusing on who murdered Aeris?" Yuffie cried, pointing to Aeris' corpse, which was only a few feet away from the dinner table. The smell was unbearable.

"Yeah, and could you move it away from the fireplace, please?" Tifa asked, covering her nose with her wine-stained top. "The heat is making the smell a lot worse." She gagged, trying not to vomit. She couldn't help it though, and blew chunks all over Yuffie.

"Agh!" Yuffie screamed, running out of the room. Everyone in the room burst out laughing.

"Oh, Tifa, you make me laugh sometimes." Barret slurred, now on his second pint of whiskey. His eyes were drooping from the effects of the alcohol, and from the reflection of the fireplace, they were brilliantly beautiful; Cid couldn't help but stare from across the table.

"I know…" she smiled, wiping the excess vomit from her mouth and smiling softly. "Look, Cloud." She sighed, and laughed weakly. "I know Aeris is dead, and all." She gestured quickly over to the bloodied corpse. "But it's Christmas! Can't we just forget about it for now and celebrate first? We can bother about the details later." She suggested, rubbing his shoulders to make her argument stronger. Cloud could never resist her when he rubbed her shoulders. Moaning softly as she did so, he was about to say no; she could tell by the slight frown that furrowed his brow. She rubbed harder, the pointed gloves she wore digging into his skin; he always liked that. Moaning a little louder now, he fell into his chair, and Tifa sat on his lap to be a little more persuasive; they both forgot about the other people in the room now.

Ignoring Tifa and Cloud as they gave each other foreplay, Barret was so drunk Cid suddenly became attractive, and Cid was just being Cid. Sitting beside him, Cid moved his chair closer towards him and whispered in his ear "Merry Christmas", kissing him on the cheek, and then the lips.

"Um, Vincent." Red XIII suddenly spoke up.

"Yes." Vincent replied.

"What the fuck."

"I don't know. Should we just leave?" he asked.

"Can we, please?"

And with that, Red XIII and Vincent ran out of the door, taking all of the wine that wasn't nailed down, just in time to see Tifa pulling up her skirt.

The next morning…

"It's gone!" Yuffie screamed, fainting onto the floor.

"Um, Yuffie." Tifa yawned, rising from Cloud's crotch and wiping the semen from the mouth. "I vomited there."

"Ew!" Yuffie squealed, quickly jumping from the floor and flipping her hair back and forth to get the vomit from it.

"So, what's gone? Your virginity?" She laughed.

"Oh, shut it, lard ass. I meant that bitch's corpse. Look!" she cried, pointing to the fireplace.

Tifa gasped in shock and shook Cloud awake.

"Cloud! Cloud, wake up! Wu-Twat's right; somebody has moved Aeris' body!"

"Hmph!" Yuffie snorted, leaving the room, head held high.

"Oh, don't worry." Cloud yawned. "Barret probably just gave it to Red XIII to dispose of it. You know how dogs eat raw meat."

"That's disgu… wow, you look so hot right now…" she cried, snogging him passionately. She hadn't even noticed Cid and Barret lying naked only feet away, empty bottles of whiskey lying around them haphazardly.