CHAPTER 3: GONE

"Wake up!" Yuffie cried, kicking Vincent in the head once more.

In the music room, Vincent and Red XIII lay sprawled out on the floor, various empty bottles of wine by their side.

"I can't believe you drank nearly all the wine, you greedy bastards!" she sulked; although she was barely old enough to drink, Yuffie really liked her wine.

"Oh, shit…" Vincent moaned, coming round. "Where the hell am I?"

"You're in the Shinra mansion." She spat, kicking the empty bottles of wine in disappointment.

"Oh, crap." He replied, dully. "You mean I'm still at this piece of shit party?"

"Yeah, and you drank all the wine."

"Hey, wait. Didn't something happen last night?"

"Yeah, you drank all the fucking wine!" she screamed back, after seeing several more empty bottles hiding behind the nearby sofa.

"No, I mean… wasn't Aeris murdered?" he scratched his head, trying to remember the events of last night.

"Oh, that." Yuffie replied, nonchalant. "Yeah, something like that. Anyway, Cloud wants to see you." She muttered, as she walked towards the door. "That is, if he's gotten off Tifa. That dirty…" she trailed off as she left the room, leaving Vincent with Red XIII. He glanced over at his canine companion, but decided not to wake him. That used condom that lay beside them was not an issue he wanted to debate right now.

"Where's Vincent?" Cloud asked, as Yuffie came back in the room. Tifa was draped around him, at least with a bra on this time.

"Still nursing his hangover." She replied, curtly, giving Tifa a dirty look as she passed them, heading towards the basement – she was going to quickly liberate the few remaining bottles of wine that resided there.

"I don't know why she doesn't like me." Tifa sighed, after Yuffie had left the room.

"Who knows?" Cloud replied. "Anyway, we had better get everyone together so we can discuss what has happened."

"Yeah, sure." She smiled back, wiping the dried semen from her mouth.

Meanwhile, in the basement...

Yuffie fumbled around in the dark, slowly descending the stairs into the cold basement. Inside it was eerily quiet. Although she did not usually frighten easily, Yuffie was bricking it now. She had never really liked damp, dark and coldly confined spaces, and this was no exception.

A noise suddenly echoed through the basement. Yuffie jumped and let out a little yelp.

"Who's there?!" she cried, her voice rather shaky. She stopped in her tracks.

"Uuuhhh…" came a mournful moan. Resisting the urge to scream, Yuffie quickly ran back up the stairs.

"Barret!" she screamed, as she ran to his bedroom. Kicking the door down, she jumped into his room without waiting for a response. "Barret!" she screamed again, this time stopping dead in her tracks once more. Coughing with embarrassment, Yuffie looked away at the sight of Cid and Barret passed out in each other's arms on the floor, naked. "Never mind… I'll get Cloud." She cackled, leaving the room.

"Cloud!" Yuffie screamed. She eventually found him in the drawing room with Yuffie and Red XIII. "Cloud!"

"God, pipe down." Tifa spat. "I've got a fucking migraine."

Yuffie looked at her in disbelief. "Don't complain to me, bitch. It's not my fault you drank more than Aeris' mother during pregnancy, and I don't mean semen."

"You fucking bitch!" Tifa squealed, her face turning bright red as she jumped over to Yuffie and grabbed her, pushing her down to the floor. Another fight began.

Kicking Tifa in the stomach, Yuffie weakly protected her face as her opponent ruthlessly headbutted her several times. Despite the pain, blood and sinew, Yuffie continued to kick Tifa repeatedly in the stomach. Tifa, unable to stand any more, kneed Yuffie in the vagina as she vomited last night's dinner all over Yuffie's face.

"Oh, gross!" Cloud burst out laughing. "I was turned on until that point."

In disgust, Yuffie threw Tifa off her and wiped her face clean, vomiting herself – all over the expensive Persian rug.

"You little bitch…" Yuffie spat, blood pouring from every orifice.

"You'll regret that…" Tifa whispered, rolling on her back and holding her stomach.

"Anyway, what was it you wanted anyway, Yuffie?" Cloud asked, as he continued flicking through Aeris' diary for clues.

"There's… *cough*… something it the basement…."

"Really?" he replied.

"Really."

"We'd better check it out." Red XIII piped in, rushing towards the basement. Cloud followed on after. Yuffie and Tifa remained on the floor.

In the basement, Cloud and Red XIII could not expect what they would find… lain beside the barrels of wine was Cait Sith, unconscious next to a few empty bottles and alongside him the corpse of Aeris that had gone missing the night before. Placed firmly in his hand was an axe covered in blood. He was attempting to dismember the body in a pathetic attempt of concealment. There could be no mistake. Cait Sith was the murderer.