A huge thank you to Anim3Fan4Ever, rainy dayz and silver dreams, IluvSeddie0930, BigTimeOzzy, and tank602 for reviewing.
Thank you everyone else who has put this story on their alert list of favorited it. There was a myraid of you and I'm too lazy to name you all off.
Before we headed to the alley, Kendall and I stopped at a convenience store two blocks away from the motel. It's a rather nice shop and I always feel out of place in it. Kendall went in by himself. I took a seat on the sidewalk, watching teenagers who have homes smoke weed and complain about their lives. It was painful to listen to.
Kendall came back after some time with only a soda and a twix bar in his hands.
"Where's the phone?" I asked. He shrugged at me, focusing more on opening his candy bar.
"I ran into a friend in there so I just used her phone." he said before shoving one half of the bar into his mouth. He shoved the other half in my face. I took it from his hands, biting off a small bite. It's been months since I had candy.
Kendall talked the whole seven minutes and twenty seven seconds it took to get to the alley. I just provided "hms" and "yeahs" at appropriate times, but mostly counted how long it would take until he realized I didn't care. There was a large crowd around Carlos, well large for eleven. I heard singing and people were clapping their hands and drumming along to a beat I was sure I've heard before. We pushed through the crowd and saw James singing while dancing with Carlos. The dancing was silly, the song had meaningless lyrics, but everyone looked like they were having fun. Kendall and I watched them as they swirled each other around and sang their hearts out. Carlos' bucket was almost full of change and bills. When they sung the last note of the song, James pulled Carlos into him, planting a big kiss on his cheek.
"If you liked that, make sure to buy James' new album All Over Again next Friday. It's gonna be great!" Carlos exclaimed as the crowd dissipated and people went back to their lives. Kendall went to playing his guitar, which brought some people in, Carlos danced like a gypsy, and James and I sat on our bench, watching as usual.
It was quiet between us, we never really talked, until James cleared his throat and looked me dead in the eyes.
"I love Carlos more than anything. I understand your concern about our relationship but I can guarantee you that I will never force him into something he's not ready for." He said in such a formal voice, I had to bite the inside of my cheek so I wouldn't laugh.
"How long did you rehearse that?" I asked jokingly. He tensed up even more.
"Only just now Mr. Garcia." He said feebly. I would've laughed at him, if he hadn't called me Garcia.
"It's Mitchell, not Garcia." I said rather bitterly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Carlos kind of told me about your home life, I assumed you had your surname changed or something when your mom married his dad." James mumbled, I had obviously scared him.
We didn't talk at all until Carlos and Kendall came over our way.
"Kendall told me that we're all going to hang out tonight! What are we gonna do Logie?" Carlos said as he came and sat in between James and I.
"As long as it doesn't cost money, we can do whatever you want." I told him. Carlos let out a noise of excitement, burrowing into James' side. The way those two looked at each other made me sick. The fake feelings they felt for each other weren't going to last. James would eventually leave and he and Carlos will forget all about this month. Hopefully it'll help Carlos understand it's only me and him in this world. Hopefully this won't break him.
"You're such a good big brother, Logie. Carlos must be so grateful to have you."
I stood in the tightest pair of jeans I owned and one of Kendall's red and black plaid shirts with his plain black shirt underneath and my hair spiked with gel Kendall stole from a Sallys. I felt so out of my element but both Kendall and Carlos said that they wouldn't want to be seen with me in my usual plain dark polos and baggy jeans. They said I put the "less" in "homeless". Carlos had went to the Salvation Army and got a new purple and white striped sundress and matching sandals for the occasion. He looked amazing in it, I didn't want to let him out looking like this. But there was nothing inappropriate about his clothes. Not to mention it would start a fight.
James showed up in a fancy car which he said the record company gave him. Carlos immediately went to his side, hugging him and giving him a kiss that lasted too long for my taste. Kendall took my hand before I broke them apart and tugged me aside.
"Don't go into "possessive father" mode tonight. Let Carlos know you're comfortable with their relationship by not freaking out everytime they kiss." He advised me. His eyes were so stern as he said it. I wanted to laugh at him.
"I won't but as soon as I see tongue, he can forget about seeing Carlos ever again." I purposely said that out loud, and James and Carlos broke apart like I wanted them to.
"So James, did you bring the stuff I asked for?" Kendal said to ease his embarrassment.
"Uh yeah, it's in my car. Logan, you mind helping me?" James said,already walking to his car. I wanted to tell him to ask somebody else but Kendall had already dragged Carlos into the park. With a sigh, I followed him to his car that's worth more than I am and stared at the cake and balloons in the back seat.
"It's for Carlos' birthday. My flight was pushed up to Wednesday so Kendall and I decided to turn this outing to a surprise party. We planned the whole night but we didn't tell you because I paid for everything and Kendall told me about your massive pride." James said with a friendly smile that disappeared when I didn't return it.
"Whatever, it's your money, waste it however you want." I said then took the cake and walked to Carlos and Kendall. James ran to catch up with me, balloons and a plastic baggie in hand.
"Hey, I am doing everything in my power to get your approval. You mean so much to Carlos and it hurts him that you don't accept us." He yelled, his face scrunched up in Anger. Kendall ran up to James and covered his mouth, pulling him away and whispering something in his ear. I felt guilty to say the least. I was hurting Carlos. I never wanted to hurt Carlos.
I kept my mouth shut the whole time we ate cake. I just sat back and watched Kendall and Carlos tease James for forgetting sodas, then Kendall try to give Carlos his birthday hits and James protecting him. They were having fun and I felt like a jerk for trying to deprive Carlos of this. He was going to get hurt in the end but I should let him have this then be the shoulder to cry on later.
I must of drowned in my guilt because when I resurfaced, Kendall was drawing on my face with icing. He had a rolled up and freshly lit joint that smelled better than most in his mouth. I never assumed he would be the kind to smoke weed.
"The fuck?" I yelled, jerking away. Carlos burst out into a fit of laughter. I loved his laugh.
"Aw, don't be such a Sally Soursport." Kendall teased as he tried to draw on me again. I didn't dodge in time and his finger landed on my nose. He didn't have time to react when my fist met his jaw.
"Ow! Why do you always gotta hit me?" Kendall whined, taking the joint from his mouth before rubbing the now red spot on his face.
"Stop getting on my nerves!" I replied with all seriousness. Carlos was at my side like expected a fight.
"Come on you guys, stop fighting. Let's play on the playground instead." He said, taking my arm and dragging me towards a swing set and slide.
"Don't you think we're a little too old to be playing on a slide?" Kendall said, voicing my exact thoughts. Carlos shook his head, a giant smile on his face.
"You can never be too old for a swirly slide."
"Stop crying, only babies cry over a little pain."
Kendall called the outing a success because I spent a good amount of time talking to James and getting to know him. He was an idiot for sure but I began to see why Carlos loved him. He was honest and passionate when he spoke. I admired that.
Kendall was very annoying. He was high, sure, but the things he wanted were do were dangerous and stupid. Carlos and James didn't feel the same, however. Which is why James had bruises all over and Carlos had a black eye from jumping off the top of the slide in hopes to land on the swingset. Kendall had gotten away a only a few scapes. I felt my sanity drain everytime James and Carlos would blindly follow Kendall. No mater how stupid the idea -like having a food fight with the leftover cake- they followed. I had no choice but to end the party by pouring water from the pond nearby on the makeshift bonfire they had started with only sticks laying on the ground. Carlos was angry at me but he understood that I couldn't risk us getting arrested over Kendall's stupidity.
James asked if Carlos could spend the night at his hotel room when we began going our seperate ways. I shot the idea down immediately but Carlos begged, claiming that he wanted to see what a normal person hotel looks like and in the end, I let him go. I may have learned that James isn't an all around bad guy but I still didn't trust him. It was only a laspe in judgement had I said yes to the sleepover.
That night I got no sleep. I kept praying to anyone who would listen that Carlos was still a virgin after tonight. It's funny how anyone can become a person of faith in dire times. Kendall spent the whole night clinging to me. His hands kept rubbing my chest and he would sometimes go into fits of giggles. I knew for a fact that he didn't smoke enough for him to still be this high hours later.
"Quit touching me." I hissed at him. Kendall's hands stopped their movements then went straight for my waist.
"Logie, how come you fuck for money?" Kendall asked as innocuous as he could possibly sound, which wasn't saying much.
"It's all I'm good at." I answered him honestly. Kendall obviously didn't like that answer.
"You're good at math and diagnosing us and singing. I bet you could make millions being a singing doctor."
"I don't think those are two professions I could do at once."
"Still, you would be great doing both." We were quiet after this until Kendall started talking again.
"Hey Logie, since you'll do anything for money, can I touch you? I know you only keep me around for my money so the least you could do is let me touch you." That struck me. Memories I spent so much time trying to block out came back. Memories of why I'm here in the first place. Of why I had to take Carlos with me. I want to cry, to yell at Kendall for saying that. For pretending to be high so he could say that. But all I did was sit up in the bed and nod my head. As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, Kendall was right. I let so many men do whatever to me for only a few dollars. The least I could do for five million is let Kendall touch me.
He sat up with me, looking awkward at first. His hands went up my shirt and he played with my nipples. I knew he expected me to moan but I couldn't bring myself to it. I trusted Kendall, I didn't think he'd ever do this to me.
"You have such an amazing body Logie, I love it so much." He whispered as his hands traveled to the elastic line of my pyjama pants. I jerked away unintentionally and it was then that Kendall actually looked me in the eyes. His hands left my body like they would have a fire. He threw himself on the bed and covered his face.
"God, I'm so sorry Logan. I'm such a fuck up!" He growled. I hadn't noticed I had been crying until then.
"It's okay. You're horny and I'll fuck anyone. I get it. I just expected you to not think that way. I thought you were safe." I had mumbled. Kendall removed his hands from his eyes and gave me a piteous look.
"Fuck Logan 'm so sorry! I just- fuck, I can't believe I-"Kendall pulled me down into his arms, hugging me too tight for my comfort. "I am safe, okay? I'll never do anything like that to you again. I'll never touch you ever again. It's just, I thought you liked it. I thought being with so many men was one of your kinks." If I hadn't known Kendall, I would have taken that as an insult.
"I don't fuck men because I like it, I do it because I have to." I clarified.
"Well here's a new rule. If you want any of my money, you can't have sex again unless you fall in love. If you make Carlos wait, I'll do the same to you." Kendall said, his grip on me loosening. I looked to him incredulously.
"You do know that I'm nineteen, not fourteen like Carlos? I can have sex all I want. I'm mentally able to have sex and it's completely legal."
"Well I don't care. you're now fourteen again too. Wait, nevermind you're now seventeen again. I'd feel creepy if you were fourteen and I'm all over you like this. I don't get how James does it, you know? I mean sure, they're only two years apart but ew. No wonder he won't even let Carlos blow him. Not that Carlos has asked but he still won't le-"
"God, you talk too much." I interrupted, pulling myself away from him and burying myself underneath the covers.
"Yeah, I know." he said as if he was proud of it. We fell asleep separated that night but when I woke up, I was the one clinging to him for a change.
"Stop screaming and do what I say before I go and get Carlos instead."
Carlos was in a brand new polka dot dress when I came to pick him up. He told me that it was vintage and came from the fifties. James bought it for him as a gift at a store downtown. He kissed James goodbye and they whispered to each other before going at it yet again. I ended up pulling them apart and taking Carlos with me.
He told me about his time with James the whole entire walk to the alley. James had taken him out to a movie and ice cream before buying him a swimsuit and clothes. They swam in the hotel's pool. Carlos was quiet after his pool story untill took my hand minutes later.
"This lady at the pool called me a pervert for wearing a girl's swimsuit. James told her to fuck off and everything but she kept watching me." He told me sullenly. I could feel the blood boiling anger fill me because this woman had managed to ruin what took me years to build in seconds.
"How you dress is perfectly normal, she's the one with the issue." I convinced him. He nodded to show he heard me however I knew he didn't believe me.
"James told me his flight was pushed to tomorrow." He said to change the subject. "It's gonna be hard with him not here."
"I know but you'll be fine. You'll move on and he'll move on. You'll see that you're so much better without him." I told him. He didn't respond, I could tell he was angry at me, but I told him what he needed to hear. He'll understand it eventually. Carlos didn't talk much for the rest of the day. It wasn't until we were all tucked in to our single queen sized bed that he whispered that he was lucky he had me. I just kissed his forehead and told him to go to sleep.
"Why can't we go home? I miss Johanna and Papí."
Authors Note:
This chapter was a total filler. It has little point but I wanted the actual story to start on chapter four. I hope this chapter wasn't bad.