It was a sunny, but otherwise average day on the lawn. Iona and the mushrooms were asleep. Pete was watching a martial arts movie on his CD player. Everyone else was just relaxing until the next zombie wave hit. There was nothing to do.
Which left April extremely bored.
"Soooooooooo…boooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee eeeeeeedddddddddddd…." April moaned as she lay slumped listlessly on the ground. Her boredom-induced daze was interrupted when she heard Alice answer the phone in her house. "Might as well listen in on whatever humans talk about…" April muttered. "I've got nothing better to do…"
April peeked through the side window to see Alice on the phone. "OMG, I know!" Alice said gleefully. Obviously something had happened. "I got a letter from Fancy Plants Magazine today…no, I've never read it before, but they're a really fancy, upscale magazine, and they're sending an inspector here, to my house, to find a Pea to be their next issue's cover-plant!"
April's eyes widened as she heard that last statement. Her one thought at that time drowned out Alice's incessant giggling and all other sounds.
I must be on the cover. But how? I don't know anything about fanciness. I could learn, though, but the only plants that could help me with that are…ugh…
The Wall-nuts. The same Wall-nuts that told April that killing zombies wasn't a lady's job and that she should turn back. As much as she hated having to ask them for help, April knew that they were her only chance of ever getting on the cover of Fancy Plants Magazine, whatever that was, to be admired by plants and gardeners everywhere.
April rooted her way to the front of the lawn and tapped on the leading Wall-nut to get his attention. That didn't work, however, so April tapped harder and harder until she actually had to shoot a pea (Shooting peas fixes EVERYTHING) at the Wall-nut to get his attention.
"I dare say, April! What compels you to shoot a frozen projectile at an idle fellow?" The Wall-nut said, annoyed. April groaned internally. "Look, I needed to get your attention because there's a favor I need to ask you. I have to learn how to be fancy because some guy's coming to find a Pea to be on the cover of a fancy magazine, and I want to be that Pea." April said earnestly. "Ah, that is quite the situation, lass! Of course I'll help you." The Wall-nut said with understanding, briefly adjusting his bowtie (Did I mention he wore a bowtie before this? I don't think so.) "Oh, thank you, mister…?" "Wallace the third, But just address me as Wallace, young lady"
And so began a montage of training to be fancy, with activities ranging from the traditional balancing of books on April's head to ballroom dancing (Don't ask me how…). "You learn fast, lass." Wallace remarked. " I think there's a jolly good chance that you'll be picked to be the cover Pea!" he added jovially. Just as he said that, a limousine rolled up right next to them, and a man in a dark green tuxedo. He barely got out of the limo when he spotted April.
"Good day sir…" April said as practiced, but didn't get to say any more when the man picked her up and remarked, "Such a lovely specimen! It will do us very good…" as Alice waved from the doorway. He took April into the limo as Alice continued to wave and drove off.
"Wow, April's so lucky! I never even appeared in a magazine at all, let alone an upscale one like how April's appearing on Fancy Plants…" Alice said. "Fancy Plants?! Oh no! Alice, get your bike and follow that limousine! I'll explain on the way!" Wallace said, clearly rattled. Alice figured this was pretty urgent, so she got her bike from the porch, placed Wallace in the basket, and sped off after the limo.
"Alright, what's got you so shaken?" Alice asked Wallace. "April's life is in danger" Wallace said. "Why?" "Fancy Plants is a magazine for wealthy vegetarians, and they always have some sort of plant dish on the cover, which is why they want April..." Wallace explained. "No wonder you freaked out like that!" Alice said, stress building. "How are we going to stop the limo?" "I have an idea. Remember the first time Crazy Dave helped you fight zombies?" Wallace said with a smirk.
Alice came up behind the limo. "Hey, mister Fancy-Plants person! You aren't making April into a salad on my watch!" April looked confused and somewhat scared, but the man in the green tuxedo just covered her mouth and said "Oh? And what is a common urchin from these boonies going to do about it?" with a smug look.
"Well," Alice retorted, "I may be an urchin, but I think it's time for me to introduce you to a little game from the boonies I like to call… Wall-nut Bowling!" She launched Wallace at the limo, with just the right trajectory and power to blow out two of the tires. The impact was so powerful that the limo was flipped upside down! Alice retrieved April from a smashed window and glared at the man, who got out of the limo.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, trying to abduct an innocent, sentient plant in order to slice them up for show! I have half a mind to call the police!" "No need, Alice", Wallace said smugly. "Call it a hunch, but I can infer that this scoundrel is about to become a salad himself…" He said, motioning towards a small group of zombies starting to chase the man around. As the three watched this, April commented:
"Remember, kids, never get into a car with a stranger."
END OF EPISODE