Chapter 3 for you!
Disclaimer: I don't own Thunderbirds sadly ;(
When Scott awoke, he found himself in unfamiliar surroundings. His head felt like a hammer was smashing the inside of his skull and his arms had a weird tingling sensation. He tried to open his eyes, only to be blinded by the not so nice light. He tried again unsuccessfully. Realising he wasn't getting anywhere, the 11 year old thought back to the reason why he was here. Few pictures flashed through his thoughts. Burning. Crying. Alan. Alan! Mustering the little amount of strength he had, he pulled himself up-or so he thought- and looked around the room. He could see his immediate younger brother curled up in the furthest corner of the room, seemingly asleep.
"John?" the scooter croaked. The boy in question shifted a little before looking up with reddened eyes, "Where is everyone?"
John didn't answer with words, only nodding his head towards the door. Suddenly realising where he was, Scott practically yelled.
"Where's mom?"
John just looked down; the young boy silently began to cry. His bond with his mother was special and now it was none existent.
"John?" Just by the crying, Scott remembered where she was.
"No." Tears starting to trickle down his face, "No!"
With impeccable timing, an old woman slowly rushed into the room and sat next to her eldest grandchild. Ruth Tracy had been called almost immediately after the medics had found the two boys and their mother who had sadly passed. They had been rushed to hospital straight away and where treated for burns and lack of oxygen. Upon arriving at the hospital the children were examined and the family had been warned that because of the lack of oxygen, both kids would most likely not be able to remember what had happen and in the worst case possible, could possibly have brain damage. The frail grandmother wrapped her arms around Scott, soothing him as much as possible, for roughly half an hour before he had fallen asleep. Standing up, she made her way over to the second eldest and looked at him with concern.
"John, why don't you come down and get something to eat?" John just looked up and shook his head.
"Come on sweetheart, you need to eat, Scott is going to be fine and so is Allie. Plus, they're going to need you to be strong for them won't they?" John again just shook his head. He had always been quiet- not a trait from the Tracy's- but now he was just mute. He hadn't spoken in the week since the accident, and had cooped himself up in the ward waiting for his brother to open his eyes. Yet, having done that, John still didn't move. Ruth had expected it though, after all, all five boys had just lost their mother and two of them currently resided in hospital rooms, the youngest being permanently on oxygen. Leaving the boy to his devices, she went down the corridor to the youngest' room, checking with the nurse beforehand.
"Any changes?" She had asked hopefully.
"Nothing bad, his body seems to want to wake up, but with the sedatives that we have had to use on him, he won't be waking anytime soon." The nurse smiled and carried on going down the corridor, presumably to Scott's room.
Stepping inside, Ruth looked over to see her son lightly snoozing next to Alan. The boy had been placed in his own room with constant scanners around him, the machines wired to him making him look like a 3 year once again. The grandmother slowly moved to her son shaking him gently, however still startling him.
"Mother." Jeff tiredly yawned.
"You need some proper sleep Jefferson." She said adamantly, "Go get some rest, I'll watch over Allie."
"But I need to watch over them-"
"They'll be fine without you for a short while, besides, I'll come and get you if something happens. Now go!"
Not wanting to get on his mothers bad side, he made his way to the family room where he knew his other two sons where waiting.
Entering, he glanced at the boys sleeping restlessly huddled up together. He grabbed a blanket and draped it over them, then settling down, he hoped he could get some sleep himself.
Weeks later...
Standing in the pouring rain, the boys in black huddled against each other for support. Two weeks after the avalanche, Scott and Alan had been discharged from the hospital in Austria. The boys, more so Scott, had burns on their arms and with Scott suffering with a broken arm as well, he was in more discomfort than he liked. Rain pelted the area as many people, family and friends, stood around the open ground as a coffin was lowered into its last resting place. People were crying as it went down but not Scott. Not Scott, the boy who suddenly mirrored his father's stance. No, definitely not him. People had come to say the goodbyes and apologies for something that wasn't their fault, but his.
Only if he could remember it.
Another thing that they were left with, no memories of the event. Of course people said it was best, that the memory would surely destroy the two children, but it was having no memory that plagued Scott at night. The thing that gave him the horrific nightmares, sometimes scaring the child so much, he didn't sleep until exhaustion enveloped him. However, the sleepless nights gave the boy time to think, and one thing he had noticed was that his father was nowhere to found. Yes he was here in front of him, accepting the apologies and everything else, but he was never around for him, for them, his boys that so desperately needed him more than ever.
He had also noticed the change in his brothers. Obviously, the loss of their mother would change them, but it just wasn't right. An example would be that Alan would get up at night and go to check on his brothers to see if they were still alive, something a six year old shouldn't be doing. Gordon no longer laughed or joked or even tried to answer anyone back. Virgil would only ghost his hands over the piano every once in a while but after a few seconds of doing so, he would run to his room crying.
And John.
John, the normally quiet boy was now completely mute. No matter what was happening around him, who needed him or anything, the boy just wouldn't speak. Even now, he just stood there like a ghost, no one really up there in that head of his. Scott had also noticed a change in himself. He had become more responsible and protective of his brothers, practically smothering them over virtually nothing. Nothing seemed right, especially the father that was supposed to help. As the last of the mourners made their way out of the cemetery, Scott found himself getting his brothers together and taking them home, his father nowhere to be seen.
2 years later...
"John! Come on; get your butt down here for breakfast now! Were gonna be late!" the no longer preteen called. It was 7:50am on a school day and the bus would be arriving in 9 minutes.
"John!" Scott called again, preoccupied with a ranting red head, a not so hungry 8 year old and an artist ready to explode.
"Come on Gordon! Give it back!" Virgil all but shouted causing his brother to retaliate.
"Then give Fishy back!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Enough!" Scott shouted causing the others to stop immediately, "Gordon, give Virgil back his paint brushes. Virgil, give Gordon Fishy back. Alan, eat your bloody breakfast and John stop hiding and get your ass down here!" The 14 year old yelled. John quickly scurried in, knowing his brother was not in the mood for anything this morning. The same happened with Gordon and Virgil and Alan didn't think he had ever eaten that fast.
"Right, are we ready?" After a chorus of nods, Scott led the way out of the door, "Then let's go."
This past two years had been hard on the kid. Their dad had practically disappeared, their grandmother could only come down some days, and he had four younger brothers to make sure got all the attention and needs they needed, only to be leaving himself out. Please mom, help me today.
The bus journey to school was relatively quiet. The others were quiet this morning which was a huge relief for Scott. Within 15 minutes, Alan's and Gordon's school came into view and three of the boys got off. This happened every day. Virgil and John would stay on the bus whilst Scott would take the other two into school. True enough, they were old enough to go into school by themselves, but the way things had been these past couple of years, Scott didn't trust them to go in; He would most likely be getting a phone call a quarter of the way into his lessons saying that the two boys never arrived, was there a problem? Yeah there is, you just don't know it.Walking in, the small group got their normal stares of parents, guardians and even teachers. Finally reaching where they wanted to be, Scott let Gordon go with a hug then walking a few steps forward, let Alan go with the same. Once that was sorted, he went to school himself.
Taking out his art pad, Virgil flicked the paper to the most recent page and started copying down the notes. He wasn't paying much attention to them, instead he thought about his life now. Dad hasn't been home in ages;he thought sadly, He couldn't have left us, could he?
"Virgil Tracy!" His teacher, Mrs Wilson, almost snapped, bringing him out of his thoughts.
"Huh?" he looked up innocently, regretting it as the whole class turned and stared.
"I said do you know who drew this picture?"
Taking a hard look at the picture, colours flew out of it, one colour almost as bright as Gordo's hair. He instantly knew who the owner was.
"Andy Warhol, miss." He looked at his teachers face satisfied; he turned down to his art pad to continue.
John stared down at his book; he was probably the only person who used study period for studying. Not concentrating on it, he began to think about now. He spent most of his days cooped up in his bedroom, only coming out of it for school. Even at breakfast time, lunch and dinner time, he stayed hidden, eating after everyone went elsewhere. Over the past two years, he had noticed a huge change in his brothers, especially Scott. The teen looked ill to say the least, tired and was snappy all of the time. John knew it wasn't healthy for a 14 year old boy to have so much weight on his shoulders. Something had to be done but that would be between Scott and their dad- a man who was never there to help.
"Now, I am going to be fair, raise your hand if you have not done your homework."
He knew he was the only one; he always was. The homework had been simple enough, just to finish off a few equations, but anything to do with math in Gordon Tracy's mind was definitely one of the most impossible tasks known to man. Previously, he would have tried to get away with it, but after so many times of doing that, he knew he wouldn't even if he tried
"Now come on, I'm sure one of you hasn't done it."
His teacher, Miss Day, carried on. Heck, it was now or never. Maybe, if he waited a few more seconds, he could possibly get away with it, but then again, the so called teacher who fails to teach him, would look around at every persons work. He might as well get off easily. Raising his hand, Gordon flinched as Miss Day's stare intensified.
"Sorry miss, it won't happen again." He muttered.
"You said that last time Mr Tracy."
"I know but-"
"No buts Gordon. If it's not in next time, I will give you a detention for every piece of homework that you have missed."
Then that will be a lot of detentions, Scott would be pissed! Flinching at the thought of his oldest brother yelling at him for not doing what he was asked, Gordon thought to why things where the way they were. It's not my fault I can't do math. Normally mom would have helped me, but I guess you don't know that she isn't here anymore do you? And it's not like I can ask Scott or John or Virgil or even Alan! Scott is always moody and would always snap if tested, the same with Virgil, John is always in his room doing one thing or another, and I don't think Alan is having that much help with his either. Oh mom, what has happened? Dad is never here and I miss him. I miss you! Please mamma, please help.
Tapping away with his fingers, the youngest of the Tracy's looked around at his class mates. None of them where really his friends, hell, half of them hated him! Ever since his mom had died anyway... There were only two of the kids in his class that 'liked' him, one a young boy called Fermat, and the other was a girl called Rebecca. Fermat was an exchange student from somewhere else in America- he hadn't really been paying attention when the class had been told about him- and was basically the genius of the class, school even if he could beat John. Then there was Rebecca. A sweet, intelligent girl who if you got on her bad side, you would know about it. She was the only one who had been nice to Alan and had actually helped the boy through his struggles. In other words, she was what held him together, school wise anyway. The three kids were inseparable when in school a bit like he and his brothers he realised. Well, in the past anyway. What has happened since then? I can't even look at Scott the wrong way without him snapping at me, I never see John anymore; he is always hiding in his room, Virgil is nearly the same as Scott, 'cept he is a lot more forgiving and helps me from time to time. Then there is Gordon. Twin terror number one.Smiling slightly at the name he and his brother had secretly been given, he thought about some of the pranks they had pulled and he swore he had even seen Scott smiling for once. At home anyway.
Panting at the door way, a tired looking Scott Tracy stood facing his teacher in an effort to make him forget about him being late. Once he had dropped the terror twins off at school, he had made his way back to the bus stop, only he had been a little be late and had missed his bus, resulting in him running over a mile to get to school, which was about to end disastrously.
"Please Sir, I missed the bus, I couldn't help it!"
"Well I might let you off if you have completed your essay. Do you have it?"
Shit. Fuck. Fuck! He knew there was something he had forgotten this morning and now he was going to get a detention because of it. Great. The look on his face was all that Mr Branson needed.
"Mr Tracy, detention."
"But sir, I can't have a detention!"
"Might I ask why?"
"Things at home. I'm needed."
"Or in other words Mr Tracy, you're going out with friends tonight." Anyone in the class room would know that Scott Tracy never went out anymore, that he was always put off because of his brothers, but obviously Mr Branson didn't know that, "Is that why?"
"No sir, seriously I have stuff going on at home!"
"Mr Tracy, lying will get you nowhere. Study room for the rest of the period."
Knowing there wasn't much he could do; Scott turned and made his way down the corridor. Hopefully, if the world wanted him to be happy, he would find one of his brothers in there. Scott made his way to his locker, got out the books needed for the next few lessons and then silently walked down to the study room. Luckily, he found that his immediate brother was there with his head in a book like usual. Now it was breaking the news. Sitting opposite him, Scott looked up and clicked his fingers, gathering John's attention.
"Hey kiddo, Mr Branson has given me a detention meaning I can't come home till late tonight okay? I need you to look after the boys and make sure they do everything you ask them to do, okay?"
With a quick nod, John dismissed his brother and turned back down to his book.
"Thanks." It was only a short and sweet thanks but it came across as a sort of apology as well. Tonight was gonna be one hell of a night.
"John, where's Scott?"
The boy in question just knocked his head back towards the school.
Oh no, detention.All the boys knew that if Scott wasn't there, Gordon wouldn't do as he was told, Alan would join in and make things worse and he knew that hewouldn't do as he was told! Even before the night started, Virgil felt sorry for John and being the way he was, how on earth did Scott expect him to look after three kids? Well, let the reign of terror begin.
The boys had managed to pick the other two up without getting many unusual stares and where now at home attempting to do homework, prepare for dinner and get sorted for the weekend. However things weren't that easy for the Tracy's.
"Come on Gordon! Scott's gonna be home any minute now!" Virgil yelled.
"It's not my fault I can't do it!"
"Then why don't you ask for help?!"
"'Cause if I ask you, you'll just moan, John disappears so I can't ask him, Scott's the same as you and Alan can't do it!"
"Can too!" The youngest clipped.
"Uuugghhh. John!" The boy had been clever to leave whilst he could, but he knew that even if he was there, he wouldn't be of any use. Better go in anyway. John appeared only wishing he could leave again as the others fought over the homework.
"John isn't gonna help!" The fish yelled at Virgil.
"Just do your homework Gordon!" He yelled back.
"No!"
"It's do it now or get a detention!"
"You can't make me!"
"Yes I can!"
"You're not dad!"
"Yeah? At least I'm here!"
"Shut up Virgil! I'm going upstairs!"
"Gordon!"
"Me too!" Little Alan added.
"Alan!"
Through the racket of the argument, all of the boys failed to hear the key turn in the door until a loud bang made its way through the house.
"Everyone! Homework now!"
Startled by the booming voice that made its way through the door, Gordon whipped around not noticing the mop of blonde hair that glued itself to the older brother, and accidently knocked Alan down the stairs resulting in a crying nine year old, a fuming fourteen year old and three very scared kids.
"Gordon!"
"I'm sorry! I-I didn't know he was there!" Scared by Scott's reaction, the ginger boy started to cry and ran up to his room. John sped around looking at Virgil for help and it wasn't until he noticed the oldest start to struggle with his breathing that John knew what to do. Looking at Virgil to take his youngest brother up stairs, John made his way over to the older boy and grabbed him by his shoulders, steering him to the couch.
It all happened when he realised he had made his brother cry. Coming into the house with three boys currently trying to kill each other over homework and the other one just standing there was bad enough, and then he just hadto go and shout causing his youngest to fall down the stairs and him terrifying his second youngest. Wait, his? He had to admit he was fuming at first, but then a sudden sharp pain entered his chest, making it difficult for him to breathe, and caused an intensifying fear to run through his veins. Panic attack. He had been told in class once that it could be induced by a phobia, or anxiety or something to that effect- he would never had thought that his brothers would have caused it. But then again, he had feared that Alan was hurt and he had feared that Gordon was going to hate him- he still did. He hadn't realised he was trembling until he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, guiding him to the couch. He also hadn't realised he felt dizzy until he couldn't see straight, or that he had a weird tingling sensation in his fingers. He heard a soft voice calling him, but he didn't hear it completely. Concentrating on what was happening, he tried to make sense of it.
"Scott? Scott." The platinum teen called softly, trying to get the attention of his older brother. He knew that Scott was having a panic attack, he had saw it coming from the beginning- and he hadn't help in any way to prevent it, "Come on Scott, listen to me. You're gonna be fine, okay? Just catch your breath and calm down."
Finally, Scott looked up into his brother's eyes and John knew what would happen. Pulling his brother close, he felt the gentle shakes of his brother as he cried all of the weight off of his shoulders.
"Shh," He soothed the boy, absently rocking him 'til he quietened down and slowly regained consciousness.
"John?"
"Yeah, I'm here Scotty, I'm here." After a few minutes of a sort of comfortable silence, the most reserved brother spoke up, "Scott?"
"Yeah?" he quietly croak.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being a jerk and not helping you. I should have been there more often, to help out with the kids you know?" Scott just stared as his brother spoke "Ever since mom died, I was scared I would lose you all too and no matter how many times I tried to get through my head I wouldn't lose you the feeling wouldn't shake. I thought that maybe, if I pulled away, if anything ever happened to you it wouldn't hurt as much but it made things worse. I can't lose you Scott, I just can't!"
"John... We all have different ways of healing..."
"But that doesn't mean I couldn't have helped." Scott gently pulled John towards him and held him for a while.
"Just promise me one thing?" With a quick nod he carried on, "You come to me when you need to talk about something, 'kay? If you ever feel upset or scared come to me and we can talk, it will do us both some good to talk about things, so what do ya think?" With a quick smile, John reached up to his brother and gave him a big hug, but despite how both brothers could have stayed there, there were other things to be done.
"Scott?" Virgil called from upstairs.
"Well, let's go sort the kids out then, aye?" Gently grabbing John's hand, Scott pulled himself and his space case up off the couch and lead the way to the stairs. Perhaps now, life won't be as bad.